The meeting went off without a hitch, except for the anxiety that was bubbling fast through my veins. My discomfort was so visible that every time I loosened my tie a little more and adjusted my collar, Amelie, Mike’s secretary, offered me a glass of water.
When it’s finally over and everyone gets up, I feel weak. Sweat drips below my shirt even though the AC is on. I pinch the top of my nose, trying to relieve the pressure in my head, the threat of pain that crossed it and made me clench my teeth.Mike stands up, saying something to Amelie, but I don’t pay attention; I’m so absorbed in my own conflicts that I can’t understand a word he says. She smiles at him... in fact, she laughs softly, shaking her head as she takes the papers from his hands. A subtle smile also reaches Mike’s lips, and his eyes shine as bright as Angelee’s.They’re really so alike... no wonder I believed the words of that sixteen-year-old girl I&rsqI always wondered if I would be able to do this... to be a father, to make things right, to compensate Angelee for all my absence. I’ve done my best all these years; I’ve cried to see her cry, and I’ve smiled at her happiness. I felt her pain like it was going through my chest, and I swear to God, if it were possible, I would feel each and every pain in her place. I would gladly trade it... I wouldn’t think twice and suffer in her place.But my hands were always tied. Powerless, guilty.Because of my family, she suffered — her mother suffered, and I’m to blame for that. I didn’t know it, but that doesn’t clear my guilt... it’s something I’ll carry forever. And I don’t mind having it, I really don’t. That’s my martyrdom.There’s no way I can lay my head on the pillow with a clear conscience, knowing that she’s probably crying silently in the bedroom. There’s no way I c
Finally, the pointers of the clock turn completely around, indicating the end of the day that seemed too long. Everyone starts to get ready to leave, and I also get up, holding my bag and approaching the door to Julian’s office, with stares at me, but I don’t let them stop my hand from knocking on his door or from opening it when I hear his voice reaching me from the other side.I open the door and poke my head into the room, seeing Julian straightening his suit and fixing his hair. His green eyes light up as they meet mine, and a smile immediately appears on his lips.Julian walks over to me, his hand already sliding along the curves of my body, brushing across my lower back and up to my waist. He pulls me into his body, decreasing our distance until my chest collides with his.“What are you doing?” I ask, trying to hold the silly smile that threatens to take over my lips.He raises his eyebrows, pretending to be surprised, “I
I feel a chill in my stomach, but the words simply disappear from my tongue. My mouth is bitter, my throat tight. And even if I take a step and stretch out my hand to reach him, I can’t... Julian is too far away, and my body doesn’t seem to obey.“The Hiverd... it’s a restaurant, right?” His voice doesn’t sound angry... in fact, he seems genuinely curious about it. Still, a drop of sweat trickles down my spine under my blouse.“Saturday...” Julian suddenly stops reading... Then he turns to me, making my heart stop beating. His expression is confused but not angry. “Did you already have an appointment on Saturday?”I totally forgot it was this Saturday, but the worst thing was that I forgot to tell Julian about Mrs. Smith’s request. It’s not like I was hiding it... I just didn’t find the right moment to say it, and I had so much on my mind...But now, it feels like I’ve been
I’m looking at myself in the mirror, turning around, and inspecting every part that the dress doesn’t cover. This black dress is one of those Cathy picked out for me, and I haven’t tried it on; I think if I’d put it on in the store, I wouldn’t have bought it. It’s beautiful, yes. Very pretty. Its light and loose fabric feels comfortable against my skin, especially when the long skirt brushes against my legs. However... It’s too revealing.The top looks like a black corselet that supports my belly and isn’t too tight, but the cloth around my breasts is made of lace that almost shows more than it should, riding up on a strap with gold drops. It certainly matched the jewelry Cathy had also chosen, a vintage necklace with small diamonds. I told her it was too much, but she didn’t seem to mind.I sigh, touching my belly slowly, stroking and pulling at the fabric to make sure it’s not too tight. So I look at mysel
Is it good to see me again?I swallow these words with resentment all over my face...I’m frozen, speechless, shaking.But Mrs. Smith cuts the tension with her sweet voice, and I feel like I can breathe again, “Angelee, darling, you’ve come!”She points to the chair Eric has pulled out and still stands, waiting for me to sit down. “Sit down! We’ve only just arrived, but I made sure you were next to me...”I look at Eric with sharp eyes but sigh, giving up. I thank the maitre d’ quietly and try my best to smile as I force my feet to follow my ex-boyfriend, even though my instinct and every part of my body are screaming at me to run as fast as possible.Despite this, I swallow my pride and anger and sit down, closing my eyes as he pushes my chair back and turns around, sitting back down in his seat — right in front of me.Of all possible places, Eric had to be on the other side of Mrs. Smith. Why
I approach the bar and order a whisky. I didn’t plan to drink it, but my nerves are on the edges, and I need something to calm them down until I get down on my knees and ask Angelee to be my wife.When the barman slides the glass over to me, I’ve already downed the whole dose in one gulp, feeling the strong taste explode on my palate and burn its way down my throat. I slam the glass down on the counter and lean on it with one arm, sighing and wiping my face with the other, like this simple gesture could add some courage.I’m scared.Anxious.My heart is beating so hard against my chest that it’s almost painful.I need an answer — I need Angelee’s yes.That’s all I need...“Funny to find you here.” I hear a familiar voice that I wouldn’t want to, and my eyes meet the red hair that, on this night, seems like fire, as well as the eyes that burn with disgusting malice. “You s
What... What’s he saying?I blink a few times, with a shiver spreading through my body, crawling my skin. I hug my own body, swallowing hard at the lump forming in my throat.“I love you, Angelee,” Eric says, but they’re empty words. I know they are.My stomach twists, and I really feel like throwing up.“Love me?” I snort, my heart beating fast, so fast that it could easily tear out of my chest and jump out. I wouldn’t blame it... I also want to run away from here. “Are you out of your mind?”“Don’t look at me like that, honey... I know you’re still upset with me, but I’m being honest, I really love you. You’re the love of my life, and I haven’t been able to forgive myself for a second since you left me.”“What the hell are you talking about?” My voice fails me, and my heart beats in my throat, squeezing, giving way neither to air nor to words. T
Lies dance with my pain, along with the shards of things that have broken inside me.I’m shattered...But this time, I want to cut those who left me like this.When I stop next to Mrs. Smith, she coughs — no, she pretends to cough. I grip the hold of the bag tightly, meeting her eyes, which turn confused when they meet my expression that, I’m sure, isn’t the best of them.“Darling-”“Bullshit.” I interrupt her, with my voice shaky and loud, attracting the eyes of everyone around me, especially Eric’s, which widen with genuine surprise. “Do you want to know, Mrs. Smith? I wondered who Eric was pulling this poor character on... But now I see there’s someone much worse than him... and that’s quite shocking.”“Angelee, darling-”“Don’t call me darling!” I retort louder, raising my hand to interrupt her. “Actually, don’t call my name..