Ethan walked me home. Kahit na sinabi kong hindi na kailangan, since I'm already inside the village. I know I'm safe in here. But he insisted. His reason was that his cousin, Ate Jarie, had a house here just a few blocks away at doon siya tumutuloy. I have no strength to argue with him so I just let him.
Hindi kami nag-uusap habang naglalakad pauwi. Hindi kami close pero hindi ko siya sinusungitan. He saved me twice and that's enough to treat him casually.
When I got home, Nana was watering the plants in their front yard and she saw Ethan with me kaya inaya niya ito para sumabay na rin sa aming magmeryenda. Ayaw pa sana nito pero pinilit talaga ni Nana. Magkatabi pa kami habang kumakain ng leche flan at fruit salad. Pero hindi kami nag-uusap kasi nga ang awkward!
Tinanong nila kung bakit ang tagal ko raw sa labas kaya kwinento ko sa kanila ang lahat ng nangyari.
"Ay naku! Ba
Ate Jarie rented five hotel rooms for us to stay in! Kuya Jude also ordered a lot of foods and drinks para mamaya. Ate Jarie told us to not worry about the bills anymore dahil sagot na niya lahat. "Mag-ambagan dapat tayo, guys." Ate Zaf suggested. "Come on, Zafie. It's alright. Ako naman talaga nag-aya sa inyo na mag-beach. You just have to relax and enjoy the moment." Ate Jarie said with a smile while hugging my sister. Out of all my sister's friends, I like Ate Jarie the most. She's very nice and sweet. Not to mention na galante rin siya sa pera. I like her presence, too. "It's settled already, okay! Don't worry sa babayaran dahil sagot ko na lahat. Magbihis muna kaso saka tayo mag-swimming. Enjoy yourselves, guys." Ate Jarie said. We went to our respective rooms to change our clothes. Mabilis lang akong nagbihis dahil simpleng swimwear l
I felt the need to avoid Ethan and ignore him. It's not an easy thing to do since mapilit at makulit talaga siyang tao. Pero tuwing naalala ko ang sinabi ni Jam sa akin, nag-iinit ang ulo ko sa kanya. Mas lalo akong naiinis sa presence niya at ni Ate Wry. But I have to get along with them, kahit in a very casual way na lang.Mas lalo man akong hindi naging kumportable kasama sina Ate Wry at Ethan, hindi ako pwedeng magpadala na naman ng emosyon ko. Ayokong gumawa ng gulo dahil nandito kami upang mag-enjoy. Mahirap man makisama sa kanila tuwing kumakain kami o nagtitipon-tipon, kailangan ko 'yong gawin dahil baka maghihinala ang mga kaibigan ni Ate. For now, gusto ko na lang matapos ang beach vacation na 'to. I'm not enjoying it, anyway."Erin, do you want to grab some coffee or something?" Ethan asked me out of the blue.Nasa kwarto kami nina Ate Zelle dahil nag-aya si Ate Kyla na manood ng movies. I can't sa
I was sitting alone in the beachside while watching the sun setting down. I distracted myself by throwing some pebbles back to the sea. A lot of things are bothering me. I have a lot of thoughts — both negative and positive, in my mind. "The sunset is so beautiful." Napatingala ako nang may magsalita sa likuran ko. It's Ethan. Siya na naman. Ang hilig niya talagang sirain ang moment at mood ko. "Yeah, it is." I uttered while staring at the most beautiful scenery in front of me — the sunset. "But you're more beautiful..." He whispered na nagpatindig ng mga balahibo ko at nagpalakas sa tibok ng puso ko. It was a soft whisper but I heard it clearly. Mariin akong napapikit at napakagat sa labi ko. Is he trying to flirt with me? Baka mamaya, assumera lang pala ako.
Everyone's stunned after hearing Wry's confession that she's Ethan's girlfriend. Walang nagsasalita sa aming lahat. Nabalot ng katahimikan ang table namin.I'm pretty sure we're all shocked sa narinig namin. Pero nasa ibang lebel ang nararamdaman ko ngayon."What the f*ck." Isang malutong na mura ang bumasag sa katahimikan.Napalingon kaming lahat kay Kuya Steve na nagpabalik balik ang tingin kay Wry at Ethan."For f*ck's sake, you're older than him, Wry! Pumatol ka sa mas bata sa 'yo? At sa pinsan pa ng kaibigan mo?!" Hindi makapaniwalang singhal niya."Age doesn't matter, Steve. You know that." Ate Wry nonchalantly uttered.The girls gasped. Kuya Jude looked so confused. Well who wouldn't be? Nalilito ako. Hindi kaya noon pa lang, may relasyon na silang dalawa? But they kept it from us to avoid complications? Ano ba talag
I locked myself inside the hotel room and cried so hard. I don't want to confirm the reason why I am reacting this way. I just cried and cried."I don't like your boyfriend." Keeps on replaying in my head.What a lie.Gusto kong tawanan ang sarili ko. Ang tingin ko sa mga lalaki, manloloko sila. Pero ako rin pala 'tong niloloko lang ang sarili dahil ayokong maapakan ang pride ko. Mataas ang standard ko kaya hindi ako magpapadala sa emosyon na umaapaw sa puso ko ngayon. Mawawala rin 'to. Tama... lilipas din ang mga araw at mawawala rin ang weird na pakiramdam ko tuwing nakikita at naaalala si Ethan.I heard Jam's voice outside of the room. She's been calling my name for minutes already but I didn't even respond. Pakiramdam ko, wala na akong boses para magsalita. I want to be alone and to not hear any noises. My mind is so messed up. Everything is not going well. Things are comp
Ethan glanced at me. Siguro narinig niya ang pagbulong ko sa sarili ko! "May sinabi ka ba?" Napatingin ako kay Ethan. Kumurap ako ng ilang beses at saka umiling. "W-wala." Pinagmasdan ko siya. At nararamdaman ko na naman 'yong sakit. Hindi naman kasi dapat ako nasasaktan pero 'yon ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. Hindi ko siya kayang makita dahil mas lalong nagugulo ang isipan ko. Mas nasasaktan lang ako. Tumalikod na ako upang umalis ngunit nagulat na lang ako nang hatakin niya ang palapulsuhan ko. Sobrang lapit namin sa isa't isa. Ramdam ko na ang paghinga niya at naaamoy ko rin ang pabango niya. Palakas ng palakas ang tibok ng puso ko na anumang oras ay maaaring sumabog na ito. "Let's talk." Tinitigan ako ni Ethan bago siya dumistansya sa akin kaya napahinga ako ng maluwag. Muntik akong malagutan ng hin
I composed myself first before going inside the hotel room upang kuhanin na ang mga gamit ko. Nadagdagan lang 'yong sakit sa puso ko dahil sa nasaksihan ko. Pero ayokong ipakita sa kanila na sobrang apektado ako dahil do'n. And I already removed Ethan from my life. "Zeph, are you really okay? Bakit namumugto ang mga mata mo?" Biglang tanong ni Jam sa 'kin habang nagsusuklay ako ng buhok. Napatigil ako sa ginagawa ko at diretso lang akong tumingin sa salamin. Namumugto ngarang mga mata ko kakaiyak kaya napahinga ako ng malalim. Paano ko na 'to itatago? "Why do I even bother asking you? Alam ko namang hindi ka okay. Pero hindi ka rin naman nagsasabi kung okay ka ba o hindi." Sabi niya sa sarili niya at humarap sa akin. "Pero huwag kang magsinungaling sa akin today! Never ever tell me that you are okay when in fact, you're not!"
My original plan was to stay in Cebu for one whole month to spend my summer vacation. Pero ito ako, pabalik na naman ng Maynila. Ilang araw lang kami roon sa Cebu at hindi ko pa nga napuntahan ang ibang tourist spots doon. Balak din sana naming mag-outing kasama si Nana pero hindi natuloy.My plan was ruined. But going back to Manila, for good, is also my choice. Para makalimutan ko rin ng tuluyan ang hindi magandang nangyari sa Cebu bago ako bumalik doon. If I'll stay there any longer, I don't know if how could I survive, lalo na kung kasama pa rin namin sina Wry at Ethan.I couldn't bear watching them together when all they did was ruin me as a person and play with my feelings. They're the worst.Maikling panahon man ang inilagi namin doon sa Cebu ngayong taon at ilang araw lang din simula no'ng magkakilala kami ni Ethan pero pakiramdam ko, ilang buwan na ang lumipas, sa dami ba naman ng nangyari.
The first time he saw her, he only thought that she was not even his type. Maarte, isip-bata, at mataray—all of these traits were just so far from his liking. Yet, here he is, looking at her with nothing but admiration and love, reflecting on the journey they've taken together. Ethan stood by the window, watching Zephyrine in the garden. The sun cast a golden glow over her, highlighting her hair as she tended to the flowers. He marvelled at how far they had come, both individually and together. He thought back to when he was just a playboy, flitting from one girl to another without a care. Meeting Zephyrine had changed everything. "Ethan," Zephyrine called out, breaking his reverie. "Are you just going to stand there and watch, or are you going to help me with these flowers?" Ethan smiled, walking over to join her. "Can't a man admire his beautiful wife in peace?" Zephyrine laughed, a sound that always filled Ethan with warmth. "You can, but I'd prefer if you also helped me pla
After the reconciliation with my sister, I called our parents to come over. I did not expect them to come right away. But they really did. Nagulat na lang ako na wala pang isang oras ay nakarating na sila sa rest house na kung saan kasalukuyang tumutuloy si Aye Zafie. Mom was hysterically sobbing as she tightly hugged Ate Zafie, apologizing for her shortcomings all over again. Dad was silently watching them but I know better. He's breaking down deep inside but he just wouldn't show it off.They were both worried for my sister. We all are. My heart tugged at the sight of them embracing one another as I stood from afar. I couldn't help but break into a small smile as I watch my little family slowly getting back together. I've longed for this ever since. Despite all the issues, the disappointments, the hatred, and the betrayals... I've always found my way to them. I've learned how to forgive my parents especially my mother who had made my teenage life worse than it could have been. T
I guess love can actually drive us insane. It's terrifiying at most times. I could attest that."She's still not answering her phone?" Ethan asked while driving the car to the cafe where my sister frequent. At least that's what her friends told me over the phone a while back.I puckered my lips as I shook my head. I also couldn't help but let out a heavy sigh. It's been hours since my sister went missing in action. And we still couldn't track her. Pero hindi naman ako susuko sa paghahanap sa kanya. Kaya lang ay pagod na talaga ako sa ngayon. I felt like my body's about to give up any moment from now, but I didn't make it obvious to Ethan. Alam kong pagod na rin siya. The least I could do is to not stress him out more. Kahit na hindi ako sure kung anong ginagawa ko ngayon. Kasi sa totoo lang, hindi naman na dapat nandito si Ethan. This has nothing to do with him. And yet he's here—to help me find my sister. I heard him heave a deep breath as well. He then carefully pulled over near a
"That wasn't your fault, okay? It was mine. I'm sorry." Ethan said repeatedly even if he didn't need to. "Let's stop putting the blame on ourselves, please. And stop apologizing. We just slept—that's all. Mom was just overreacting. Didn't know she had that attitude." Napailing na lang ako.Seriously? Siya talaga magdidikta sa aming dalawa na gawin nang official ang relasyon namin ni Ethan? That sounded so weird for me."Still... ako ang lalaki. I should've known that it would put you in the bad side."I rolled my eyes. "Duh? As if sleeping together is that big of a deal. We didn't even kiss. Inaantok na nga tayo pareho kagabi. OA talaga ng mom ko, for real. Don't worry about it that much. We won't rush things the way she wanted us to."He let out a deep sigh before nodding. He looked so stressed out about what happened. Mom's pressuring him, too. I wasn't mad at her, I was just pissed. Kaya nga kami umalis agad after breakfast. I didn't want to hear mom's opinions about Ethan and I an
"Love-" I was about to say something to Ethan but stopped when I realized what I just said. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang lumingon si Ethan sa 'kin. And his eyes widened as well. Of course, we're both shocked! He obviously heard what I just called him. Magkatabi lang naman kaming dalawa. Umawang ang labi nito at nagtatanong ang mga mata. "Did... did you just call me 'love'?" He asked, amused. I bit my lower lip. I didn't know what to say again! Pasmado talaga ang bibig ko at kung anu ano na lang ang lumalabas mula dito! Palaging nadudulas, eh. "I mean-" Umiwas ako ng tingin nang mapansing sumeryoso ang mukha nito. I'm never ready to talk about 'this' yet. Para akong kakapusan ng hininga kapag pag-uusapan namin ang relasyon namin or whatever. Kasi alam ko na kung saan 'to patungo, eh! As I said, I don't want to commit myself to Ethan for now. And I don't to disappoint or hurt him in any way. "Alam mo bang ilang beses ko nang pinangarap na tawagin mo rin ako ng ganoon, Zephyrine?"
"Are you feeling better now?" Ethan asked me, but I didn't look at him. Namamanhid ang labi ko nang dahil sa kanya! "Hey. I'm sorry. I was just tempted to kiss you." I groaned. "Ugh. Can you please just shut up? Masyado ka nang nakadagdag sa problema ko sa buhay." "I'm sorry, okay? I just wanted you to feel better through my kisses." Tingnan mo nga 'to at binibiro na naman ako! "Tumahimik ka na lang, please. Tama na kaka-mention tungkol sa kiss na 'yan!" Naiirita kong sambit. At tawang tawa naman si gago. Ang sarap talaga nitong suntukin, eh. Hindi ko na ulit pa pinakinggan ang mga pinagsasabi niyang hindi magandang pakinggan para sa 'kin. Mahawaan pa ako sa kaharutan niya. "Hoy. Kung gusto mo talaga ako, samahan mo nga ako sa loob ng house nila mommy." Paghahamon ko sa kanya. I thought he was going to say no but he immediately offered his hand to me. "Take my hand and hold on to it tightly. I'll always be by your side, no matter what happens." I rolled my eyes after hearing
"Hey, you can do this." Ethan told me as he gently hold my hand. We were in front of my parents' house and I am feeling a little nervous to get inside. Actually, halo halo ang emosyon ko ngayon. A part of me hated the fact that my parents were not really caring and nice to me ever since. They were blinded by their fame. They enjoyed their spot under the limelight. They caused me both emotional and mental damages. I could feel anger boiling up in my heart again just by thinking every cruel thing my parents put me in, so I tried to execute the breathing exercises for me to calm down. I can't be like this right now. I needed to get things done. I needed to fight against my own monsters. "Masama ba ang pakiramdam mo? Let's just go back when you're ready to face them again, Erin. You need to compose yourself first, okay? Please don't push yourself too hard. May nakalaang oras para sa lahat ng bagay. There's no need to rush." Ethan tried to make me feel better with all tho
"Hey, I'll just buy something downstairs." I told Ivory who's now busy with the report that she had to do as the president of the student council. "You sure you're okay to go out alone?" She asked. "I'm a hundred percent sure." "Okay." She replied with a nod. Her eyes didn't leave the screen of her computer. "Wala kang ipapabili?" Tanong ko. "Nothing. Just be safe. Diyan ka lang sa baba, ah." I nodded and made my to the convenience store. When I was inside the elevator, I had a hard time composing myself. Ang daming tao sa loob, siksikan pa. I almost couldn't breath, not only because it was crowded inside but because I was triggered by that traumatic memory I had in Cebu when I went out alone.This is so tiresome. Lagi na lang ganito nararamdaman ko every time I try to do my usual routine alone. I am already breathing heavily and was about to get back to the unit dahil sa takot kong baka maulit na naman '
I was waiting for Axi and Ivory to come back from the lavatory. I was so hungry that I didn't mind going there with them. Besides, I have a feeling that I am already starting to hate going to lavatories, rest rooms or comfort rooms because of Ethan and Wry. So, I just minded my own business and ate lunch since I am really hungry. As in, for real nagugutom na talaga ako. Ang dami ko ngang biniling pagkain, eh! I don't eat a lot but whenever I'm stressed out, I would unintentionally eat a little bit more. I already had two cups of rice and two pieces of fried chicken. I felt so full but still had a can of a carbonated drink. I also am planning on buying hash browns. "I know you're here." A familiar voice spoke that I almost spit out my drink. What the heck?! I had a sudden mix of emotions inside and I hated it. I don't want to be in my whirlpool of thoughts and become vulnerable again. Hindi na ako magiging marupok, I promised that to myself. And I will protect