Ryan is sleeping when we return. I take the opportunity to spend some time alone writing in my room. I think a good way to work all of this out is to write about it. I miss drama, so I decide to turn the events into a script.I write until I fall asleep and dream about rogue werewolves and dangerous attacks. In my dream, Alex is in trouble, and I can’t get to him. I wake up during this dream…and decide not to take it as a sign.I hear voices down the hall, and I emerge to find Alex putting on his socks and shoes. Ryan is already geared up and waiting in the chair by the couch, the same backpacks from this morning at his feet.“You leaving?” I ask.“I was going to come get you before we left—to say goodbye.”I fold my arms and lean against the wall. “That’sss it? Goodbye?”“Well…I mean…we’ll be back.”I walk back down the hall. We haven’t talked since he came back this morning, and I’m worried about him. There are so many things I want to ask him: like does he know what happened to him
We shift and make our way northwest toward the mountain. We figure that’s our best bet at finding the encampment, base…whatever it is. If we don’t find anything there, we can work our way back going east.Worst come to worst, we make it home, regroup, and try again tomorrow, but I’m not leaving until we find them. For Michael. For Cynthia.Since we’ve been gone, my body has recovered. Distance must play a part in that. Since Ryan and I can’t link, we can’t talk, and I have the opportunity to think about why I was sick.When I asked Ryan earlier, he said he didn’t know of anyone that could perform the ritual other than maybe an Elder. But who would have done that in my own pack?It could have been done before I left the Ayzena base by any one of the Elders. If it was one of them, my money would be on Owein. He was determined to use Cynthia as bait, and I may have been the only one standing in his way. Physically.But would he really do that to me? I would like to think all our Elders a
There are several bangs coming from the front of the house. “Rita?” I cry out before throwing my hand over my mouth.I hear the noise again, a violent Bang! Bang! Bang! on the front door.Then, a crash. It makes me jump, and all I can think is “Oh no… They’re here!”I jump off the bed and rush to my door to lock it, bracing a chair up against it. I know this won’t stop a werewolf, but if I’m lucky, that’s not what’s out there.Rita proves my instinct right when she pushes her way in, almost breaking the door in the process. She puts her finger up to her lips, apparently not realizing she doesn’t have to worry about me being quiet.She locks my door behind her, and I begin backing away toward the bed. As cross the room, I also become aware of our vulnerability due to the window.Thank God I closed it earlier!I peek through the curtains. All I see outside is darkness. When did it get dark out? I pull the curtains shut tight and back away to the center of the room, kneeling down in case
After the rogue is so badly damaged that it’s barely breathing, the werewolves shift back to their human form, including Rita.She helps me up as the others stand around the bloodied body of our attacker, their mouths and hands smeared with blood.A couple of them approach to check on me. I don’t know who they are; I don’t think I’ve ever seen them before—but they knew me. One of them, the one with a long beard and haunted eyes, stares at me.It’s unsettling. It reminds me of the way Alex’s mom stares at me. Like he’s looking for something in my face, or rather sees something hidden within it.“My name is Charles,” the one with the beard says, “and these are Oorna, Abner, and Meor. Abner and Meor were on guard tonight, out in the forest. They could smell the intruder and tracked him here.”Rita spits on the ground. Is it odd to think, in this moment, that this is unladylike?“Damn it!” she says. “He’s in rough shape and can’t turn.”She turns to Charles and asks, “Is there somewhere w
What about Cynthia, I manage to say when Ryan lets go.Cynthia is more than she realizes—more than you realize! And I’m going to make sure she’s not a threat to our future. Enraged, I rush at him again, only Ryan is able to get a paw up and swipe me across the face, drawing blood.You’re fucking crazy!No—I’m motivated.We circle each other again, each one ready for the other to be next to strike. I move forward a little, and Ryan backs up. He moves forward a little, and I back up. We go about this dance for way too long.“What do you know of our previous Alpha?” Charles asks us.I shrug, not knowing what my answer should be because my mind has gone numb.“He was murdered by rogues,” Rita states matter-of-factly.“He was attacked by rogues,” he says, correcting her. “He was away from base, and no one bore witness to the events that took place…except for Ryan, his younger brother.”“And your current Alpha,” Rita adds.Charles nods. Jeraoul and Lenor are still staring at me. I try not
You’ll never beat me! Ryan says, and I know he means it.Normally, I would be cautious taking on someone of his stature, but now I’m angry…and angry me doesn’t always make the best choices.I snarl. I want to know why Cynthia.Because she stands in my way… But not like your brother did…Now the beast inside me is just pissed.I spring forward, ready to strike. Ready to kill. I get in a swipe to the left of his jaw, then right, then a mouthful of fur and flesh above Ryans’ shoulder.Except Ryan proves too strong for me, and now that I’m on the offensive, I’ve left myself vulnerable. I realize that as soon as I feel him move.Ryan slings me off, knocking me to the ground, and is on top of me before I can manage to get up, using his body weight to hold me down. I’m able to avoid most of his bites, which come fast and ferociously.I use my hips to roll him and get him to the ground. Then I use the momentum of the motion to roll away, but Ryan is too fast. He gets a grip on my shoulder and
They must sense something because their pace quickens. When we hit the stream, they take a right through the water, splashing me and adding to my discomfort.I buck up and tough it out, but soon we are back out of the water and below the mountain, ready to climb.Then I smell it. Blood. And pine. It’s Alex!We can’t see him yet and begin making our way up the mountain, but the progress is slow and my sight is back to zilch. The smell is getting stronger, and my body is beginning to tingle.That familiar tingle. We must be getting really close…Suddenly, Rita rears back and I slide off. She shoots forward and my eyes follow her and Charles. I still can’t see anything, so I run to get closer until my developed night vision locks onto the sight that is driving them.Below an overhand of rock, in a small crevice, lies a werewolf. It isn’t moving—and I know it’s Alex! Another werewolf, Ryan, is crouched over him, like he’s about to go in for the kill.I scream, unable to stop myself.When
As Ryan stalks toward me, the itch becomes unbearable. My skin feels like it’s been burned and is healing, peeling. I want to scratch at it. I want to scratch it off.The feeling becomes so intense—like my skin is burning from within.Ryan stops and watches, his grin apparent. He starts pacing from one side to the other. I don’t understand what he’s doing, but it’s so hard to think right now. I can’t track him while my body is changing.The unexpectedness and newness of it is difficult toAnd my rage returns! I don’t know what’s happening, but I want it to stop! I need to stop him! Aaaahhhh!!!!! This must be what it’s like to be consumed with anger.Now my skin is the least of my concerns. My bones begin shifting, painfully at first as my humerus and my femur elongate, stretching in a way not humanly possible.A growl rumbles deep in my chest and I throw my head back as my nose and jaw stretch out. My spine shifts and my shoulders begin popping. It’s painful, but in a glorious way.Al
The house is a mess because I’ve been in town visiting my mom for a few days. I knew it would be, which is why I returned early in the morning, so I could clean up before I had to begin my day.Things aren’t exactly how I expected when I walk in. Yes, the house is a mess, but Alex is scrambling to clean up the kitchen. I drop my bag and look around at the array of clothes and shoes thrown around the living room.“Hey, babe… I really was going to have this cleaned up before you got home.”“I see that.”He smiles at me and I can’t help but forgive him. The problem is that he knows that, and someday that charm might run out. Except with my luck it won’t.“When are you leaving?”“I’m going to hang around a couple more days.”“That’ll be nice,” I say as I give him a hello kiss.We’ve been married for almost two years now, and even with our duties, I feel like we’re in our honeymoon stage. I’m every bit as in love with him now as I was when we first mated, and I wouldn’t change any part of
My senior year is a whirlwind. I’m in all advanced classes and spend a lot of time studying. When I graduate, I will have a Bachelor’s of Creative Arts and Writing. That was my Epiphone. Just because I’ll be required to love among and lead my pack, doesn’t mean I can’t still express my creativity.In fact, my senior project is the play I began writing as a 17-year-old human with intense complexes and assassins on her heals. The story follows my own, sometimes a little too closely, but it seems like the perfect way to blend my two lives together.Alex is supportive. So is my pack. When I approach the Council with the idea of working on the side as a freelance writer, they are supportive so long as the pack and our home remains anonymous. I tell them I will work under a pen name, and when I release my first play, Furry Butterfly, I do so under a pseudonym.It turns out to be a success, and the money I receive allows me to conquer my first project as Luna.That summer, I officially join
Right before finals my freshman year, I receive the dreaded call. “It’s Michael,” Alex says. His breathing is loud, erratic. “He passed away last night.”Of course, there’s nothing I can do over the phone. I borrow Hailey’s car and leave that very night.When I get there, it is after dark and Alex is at Michael’s house, sitting in the kitchen with Rita. When I walk in, it’s quiet. They’re not talking or doing anything aside from staring at the table.They look up at me and I see their sorrow. I run over to Alex and wrap my arms around him, absorbing his sobs of mourning as I cry into his shoulder.I hear Rita sniffle, and I let go long enough to cross the table and give her a hug. “I’m so sorry!” I whisper into her ear. “I’m so sorry…”That night is when Alex and I take our physical relationship to another level. I wanted to make him feel better, if only for a little while.When we get back to his house, I follow him into his room and lock the door behind us. I don’t care if his paren
I plan on visiting during my fall break. Mom thinks I have a trip for drama, so she’s not expecting me. I hate lying to her, but it really is for her own good.The following week leading up to our opening night is stressful. The play only runs for two weekends, but everything has to be perfect for the first show. I scramble to make last-minute changes to costumes and learn a few lines that just don’t seem to be sticking.Which is what makes opening night more stressful when Alex and Mom both show up with flowers. Talk about feeling loved…and feeling the pressure to perform!Alex plants a big kiss on me and Hailey, who plays another one of the teens, ooh’s and ah’s over us. So does Mom, and I’m starting to wonder which one of us she likes more.Alex and Mom sit with Lenard through the show. I peek out from the back curtain to find their seats, so I know not to look there. I can’t risk catching one of them smile at me and throwing me off. Tonight has to be perfect because I’ve worked so
The next day really is my birthday. Mom makes me a cake and we celebrate in the morning over coffee. Then we spend the day in Marona, a nearby hippie town with awesome shopping, and Mom splurges on a few new outfits for me to take to school.I’ve realized I’m grateful for every moment. When I was at the Ayzena base I was grateful for their hospitality, when I’m with Alex I’m grateful for his love and attention—not to mention his body! Now that I’m with Mom, I’m grateful I ended up with her. In spite of our hardships, I’ve realized she endured everything for my sake. There’s no greater love than that.And today is a great day. We share food and laughs in a way we’ve never been able to before. It makes me determined to help take care of her when I’m able, so we can spend more time like this when we’re together. Away from drama, having fun.Alex comes by later that day and brings me a present. He was sweet to give me the day alone with my mother, though it helps that I reminded him he’ll
Over the next couple of days, things go back to normal. At least as normal as they can be now. I’m not able to hide my appetite or my newfound desire for meat. I tell Mom it must be my hormones.The stutter is becoming difficult to hide, mostly because I don’t want it anymore. I’m finally free of the one thing that placed the wrong kind of spotlight on me and when I finally get the chance to be free of it, I have to fake it again.I just have to remind myself that it’s temporary.Alex and I meet Hailey and Lenard for a double date, and it’s like nothing has changed.Except Alex isn’t shy about public displays of affection, though I wonder how much of it is a put-on for shock value. It works.We meet at the diner down the street from the school. As soon as I walk in, I can smell grease and meat, and my stomach starts to rumble. “I have to hide my appetite at home so Mom doesn’t get suspicious,” I whisper to Alex, who can’t help but cackle.I nudge him in his rock-hard belly. “It’s not
The ring of the doorbell startles me, rattling my nerves even though I’m the one who rang it. The chime doesn’t make it through two rounds before the door is open and Mom is gaping at us from inside.We stare at each other for a few seconds before either one of us moves, while Alex waits awkwardly behind me. I can smell fresh-baked cookies and cinnamon.Finally, Mom rushes through the door and wraps her arms around me. “Oh my god!”Her body begins shaking with sobs, and I can’t help but start crying. We stand there, holding each other and crying, for what feels like several minutes.When we finally break apart, Mom grabs my hand and pulls me in, using her other hand to wipe her face.Alex stands on the doorstep, not sure what to do. “No—come in Alex, please,” Mom says, ushering him in.Once she closes the door, Mom looks us over with a curious eye. “You two look…good.”She takes my hands again and grips them in hers. “You look…older.”She noticed! My mom doesn’t disappoint. “I mean, I
With so much resolved, my time to leave finally arrives the following morning. I have to say, I’m sad to go. I feel like I’ve found a place here…and with the Malkeye pack. I never thought my life would turn out like this, but I’m grateful for the turn of events.Alex decides to escort me back, so the most difficult goodbyes are with Michael and Rita. I feel like I’ve come to understand Rita and hope our connection can last the distance until I return. But I know I may never see Michael again.I hug Rita, who holds on a little longer and a little tighter than I expected. “You know where to find me,” she says with a smile, but I know that I may not see her for a long time.I turn to Michael, unsure of what to say. “I am so glad my brother found his future with you,” Michael says as he embraces me. “You are a strong female and I pray to the Great One that your union is blessed,” he adds after a light squeeze.I try really hard not to cry, but this moment feels so final.If Michael passes
Once I decide to hold a meeting—my “Unification Council”—with both packs to discuss the future, I clear the idea with Michael. It takes a little explaining, not necessarily because of prior distrust between the packs, but because packs are private.“Traditionally, when members of different packs mate, one member leaves their pack to join the other,” Michael explains. “They may see other members of their family, but they are no longer members of their family’s pack.”Rita, who hasn’t left Michael’s side since his meeting with Alex, knows where I’m going with my request. “They won’t be able to do that,” she observes.I explain to Michael that this is exactly what our packs can’t expect if Alex is going to inherit the Ayzena pack and I am the only remaining descendant of the Malkeye’s Alpha. “We will have to find a way to lead them both—together.”He immediately understands the issue and the need to get both packs on board. I discuss with him and Rita what Alex and I have in mind, Michae