I’m still frustrated by Alex’s insinuation by the time I’m home.Once I get to my room, I flop on it with a groan. After airing out some frustrations against the bedspread, I roll onto my back, grumbling, and start looking on Instapost… It would be better to more easily visualize the face of the person I’m angry at.I access my account, the icon being a doodle of a puppy I’d made at one point. It’s all just art rather than pictures, but Alex and I decided to follow each other anyway.As I go to click on Alex’s icon of his own face, I see that there’s a recent update from Charlie’s account. My anger subsides, curiosity taking over. Charlie always takes such nice pictures, whether with friends or simply showing off her breakfast.However, looking at the newest photo just brings back the frustration all over again.She and Alex pose together. She’s holding up a peace sign and he’s smiling like nothing’s wrong. Charlie has added stickers of stars and a little heart, having tagged him in t
Alex stops coming by as often as before.The hecklers aren’t motivated to come back, but it does cause a different disturbance.“Has anyone seen him today?” Charlie asks, fretting over him. “I tried to message him, but he didn’t reply…”The other club members look at each other awkwardly, glancing in my direction before answering her. I really wish they wouldn’t look at me. Whenever they do, Charlie always shoots me a dirty glare, like I’m at fault somehow.Dammit. This is exactly what I was afraid of.I’ve diagnosed Alex’s problem.He likes talking with people, which is fine. However, he fails to establish boundaries, especially toward girls. Then, because he doesn’t like uncomfortable situations, he callously blows things off.The girls get misled when he doesn’t staunch their flirting. Then, he gets tired of the drama and leaves. Then, hurt and angry, the girls fight each other and cause trouble.Rinse and repeat.The worst part is he doesn’t even seem to realize he’s most of the p
He doesn’t let me go like he did earlier today. Instead, he follows after me closely.“What’s wrong? Did something happen?”But I keep my head down, refusing to answer.He rushes forward and stops in front of me.“C’mon, Cynth. Look at me, would you?”Hah. I’m not sure when we’d moved on to the cutesy nicknames stage of our fake relationship, but it’s interesting to know we’re here now. Especially after he just dissed a girl who he’d let flirt with him for days.All the exhaustion and irritation that’s been building up finally boils over.Fine. He wants to see backbone?I’ll give him backbone.“Don’t get carried away, now. Falling in love is a no-go.”He blinks, surprised at the tone of my voice. It’s lower than usual, as it usually comes out when I’m beyond caring.“…What are you talking about? I’m not in love with you.”The laugh I let out is ugly.“Really? Running after me, always trying to protect me, hanging out with me…it’s all just kindness and friendship, huh? Well, if I could
When he and the other guys look to confront him, they all freeze up.Alex looks irritated again, his large hand starting to curl into his shoulder. The bully goes pale and starts to sweat, reaching up to try and dislodge it. But the instant his fingers touch Alex’s, the hockey player clenches further.“Ghh!”He whimpers. Honestly, fully, whimpers, and loses his balance, his right elbow supporting his weight on the table. Alex leans down, easily looking over everyone with his eyes narrowed.“It really takes six guys to bully a single person? What a pathetic pack.” He sighs, seeming genuinely disappointed. “Fuck off, will you?”The five guys he isn’t physically holding in place give each other looks before they decide to back off, none of them brave enough to try him. The one he’s clenching on tries to leave, but Alex shoves him down onto the bench attached to the table.“Before you leave, clean up that mess you made. Aight?”“Y-Yeah…”“Cool.” Alex hands him some paper towels, that unki
Jonathan smiles, all smarmy and ready to kiss ass.“Hey, Alex. I know you’re pretty busy with hockey and all, but…wouldn’t it be fun to hang out together? Like, during a performance. With a thorough explanation of the plot, I think you’d make a great lead!”Alex, unused to Jonathan’s salesman persona, lets out an awkward chuckle.“Here, I’ll talk about it a bit. So, there’s an alpha werewolf who has a—”“What do you think, Cynth? Think I could work it?”Alex cuts him off before he can really get into it, turning to me.Eh? Why ask me?He looks at me with undivided attention. When I glance away from him, I see the others holding their hands together in prayer as Jonathan mouths ‘Yes’ at me.I mean…I think he could be a good fit. I just suppose he’d be too busy to actually do it. Moreover, this could settle in his “bothersome” category, where he might decide to it blow off.Though, since he’s asking earnestly, I’ll answer honestly.“…You’d be a g-ood choice.”Alex nods then, walking ove
After auditioning 45 of the 79 applicants, we ended with a grand total of zero female lead candidates. The other 24 decided against trying after I refused Alex’s dating prospects for the 17(th) time.My throat still hurts from all that yelling.Tired and without any progress, the drama club members grumble in frustration. Alex also looks put-off, but he’s got his arm around me, using me as some sort of PDA squeegee.The club members give us a bit of a stink eye as I try not to self-combust in embarrassment. Hailey does, too, though she’s more playful about it. My phone vibrates as Jonathan start talking about another female lead plan.“‘won’t have anythin to do with him again’ you said. ಠ_ಠ”“shut up”“make me (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻”I prepare to reply to Hailey, but Sophia speaks up, raising her hand. Apparently, Jonathan has been taking suggestions. I wasn’t paying attention—“Well, why not Cynthia?”…But I am now.“I mean, Cynthia and Alex helped us rewrite some of the plot, so she knows the
I keep staring at him, so he continues.“I mean, I’m pretty sure I’m gonna fuck up on stage a few times. Maybe it’ll cover if you freeze up a bit? I dunno, but I won’t leave you hanging up there. We’ll be a team, after all. Besides.”His smile turns sheepish.“I really do want to see you act. If I must be on the same stage as you to see that happen, then let’s do it… I’m pretty sure I’m going to fuck up a few lines though, hah.”Ah.The warmth in my chest and face boils red.…No wonder so many girls fall for him.--- --- ---When I return to the club the next day, I quietly tell Jonathan that I’ll do it.He still announces it to the others immediately after. Hailey grabs onto my arm and squeals with delight.“Aaah, I’m so happy you’ll do it! It’s gonna be great!” She balls her fist excitedly. “Don’t worry, I’ll help you with your lines!”“A-Ah…yeah…sure.”I’m really not sure how a stutterer like me will be able to get through it. At least when I stuttered during performances as a litt
My blood runs cold seeing him there. Anxiety crawls up my throat like a lizard and clings to the back of my tongue, leaving a bad taste in my mouth. I realize Hailey is saying something on the phone, and in my rearview mirror, I see her car approaching.“…Can we…rrr-raincheck?”“Huh?”“Sss-something came up. Let’sss…meet later.”“…I guess so, yeah, we can raincheck. I’m seriously sorry about the sign, Cynthia…”“It’sss okay. Talk to you later. Texss…t. Text me when you get home.”I hang up the phone and wait until Hailey leaves, staring at Oliver. He stands at the door with his hands in his pockets, patiently looking back at me.He had been my guiding light before. Now, seeing him there reminds me of someone else. Someone older, taller…drunker.I get out of my car and head up to the front door. As much as I don’t want to deal with him, he’s not going to keep me from getting into my own house.“Hey, Cynthia,” he greets. He smiles, but I don’t sense any kindness from it.I glance up at
The house is a mess because I’ve been in town visiting my mom for a few days. I knew it would be, which is why I returned early in the morning, so I could clean up before I had to begin my day.Things aren’t exactly how I expected when I walk in. Yes, the house is a mess, but Alex is scrambling to clean up the kitchen. I drop my bag and look around at the array of clothes and shoes thrown around the living room.“Hey, babe… I really was going to have this cleaned up before you got home.”“I see that.”He smiles at me and I can’t help but forgive him. The problem is that he knows that, and someday that charm might run out. Except with my luck it won’t.“When are you leaving?”“I’m going to hang around a couple more days.”“That’ll be nice,” I say as I give him a hello kiss.We’ve been married for almost two years now, and even with our duties, I feel like we’re in our honeymoon stage. I’m every bit as in love with him now as I was when we first mated, and I wouldn’t change any part of
My senior year is a whirlwind. I’m in all advanced classes and spend a lot of time studying. When I graduate, I will have a Bachelor’s of Creative Arts and Writing. That was my Epiphone. Just because I’ll be required to love among and lead my pack, doesn’t mean I can’t still express my creativity.In fact, my senior project is the play I began writing as a 17-year-old human with intense complexes and assassins on her heals. The story follows my own, sometimes a little too closely, but it seems like the perfect way to blend my two lives together.Alex is supportive. So is my pack. When I approach the Council with the idea of working on the side as a freelance writer, they are supportive so long as the pack and our home remains anonymous. I tell them I will work under a pen name, and when I release my first play, Furry Butterfly, I do so under a pseudonym.It turns out to be a success, and the money I receive allows me to conquer my first project as Luna.That summer, I officially join
Right before finals my freshman year, I receive the dreaded call. “It’s Michael,” Alex says. His breathing is loud, erratic. “He passed away last night.”Of course, there’s nothing I can do over the phone. I borrow Hailey’s car and leave that very night.When I get there, it is after dark and Alex is at Michael’s house, sitting in the kitchen with Rita. When I walk in, it’s quiet. They’re not talking or doing anything aside from staring at the table.They look up at me and I see their sorrow. I run over to Alex and wrap my arms around him, absorbing his sobs of mourning as I cry into his shoulder.I hear Rita sniffle, and I let go long enough to cross the table and give her a hug. “I’m so sorry!” I whisper into her ear. “I’m so sorry…”That night is when Alex and I take our physical relationship to another level. I wanted to make him feel better, if only for a little while.When we get back to his house, I follow him into his room and lock the door behind us. I don’t care if his paren
I plan on visiting during my fall break. Mom thinks I have a trip for drama, so she’s not expecting me. I hate lying to her, but it really is for her own good.The following week leading up to our opening night is stressful. The play only runs for two weekends, but everything has to be perfect for the first show. I scramble to make last-minute changes to costumes and learn a few lines that just don’t seem to be sticking.Which is what makes opening night more stressful when Alex and Mom both show up with flowers. Talk about feeling loved…and feeling the pressure to perform!Alex plants a big kiss on me and Hailey, who plays another one of the teens, ooh’s and ah’s over us. So does Mom, and I’m starting to wonder which one of us she likes more.Alex and Mom sit with Lenard through the show. I peek out from the back curtain to find their seats, so I know not to look there. I can’t risk catching one of them smile at me and throwing me off. Tonight has to be perfect because I’ve worked so
The next day really is my birthday. Mom makes me a cake and we celebrate in the morning over coffee. Then we spend the day in Marona, a nearby hippie town with awesome shopping, and Mom splurges on a few new outfits for me to take to school.I’ve realized I’m grateful for every moment. When I was at the Ayzena base I was grateful for their hospitality, when I’m with Alex I’m grateful for his love and attention—not to mention his body! Now that I’m with Mom, I’m grateful I ended up with her. In spite of our hardships, I’ve realized she endured everything for my sake. There’s no greater love than that.And today is a great day. We share food and laughs in a way we’ve never been able to before. It makes me determined to help take care of her when I’m able, so we can spend more time like this when we’re together. Away from drama, having fun.Alex comes by later that day and brings me a present. He was sweet to give me the day alone with my mother, though it helps that I reminded him he’ll
Over the next couple of days, things go back to normal. At least as normal as they can be now. I’m not able to hide my appetite or my newfound desire for meat. I tell Mom it must be my hormones.The stutter is becoming difficult to hide, mostly because I don’t want it anymore. I’m finally free of the one thing that placed the wrong kind of spotlight on me and when I finally get the chance to be free of it, I have to fake it again.I just have to remind myself that it’s temporary.Alex and I meet Hailey and Lenard for a double date, and it’s like nothing has changed.Except Alex isn’t shy about public displays of affection, though I wonder how much of it is a put-on for shock value. It works.We meet at the diner down the street from the school. As soon as I walk in, I can smell grease and meat, and my stomach starts to rumble. “I have to hide my appetite at home so Mom doesn’t get suspicious,” I whisper to Alex, who can’t help but cackle.I nudge him in his rock-hard belly. “It’s not
The ring of the doorbell startles me, rattling my nerves even though I’m the one who rang it. The chime doesn’t make it through two rounds before the door is open and Mom is gaping at us from inside.We stare at each other for a few seconds before either one of us moves, while Alex waits awkwardly behind me. I can smell fresh-baked cookies and cinnamon.Finally, Mom rushes through the door and wraps her arms around me. “Oh my god!”Her body begins shaking with sobs, and I can’t help but start crying. We stand there, holding each other and crying, for what feels like several minutes.When we finally break apart, Mom grabs my hand and pulls me in, using her other hand to wipe her face.Alex stands on the doorstep, not sure what to do. “No—come in Alex, please,” Mom says, ushering him in.Once she closes the door, Mom looks us over with a curious eye. “You two look…good.”She takes my hands again and grips them in hers. “You look…older.”She noticed! My mom doesn’t disappoint. “I mean, I
With so much resolved, my time to leave finally arrives the following morning. I have to say, I’m sad to go. I feel like I’ve found a place here…and with the Malkeye pack. I never thought my life would turn out like this, but I’m grateful for the turn of events.Alex decides to escort me back, so the most difficult goodbyes are with Michael and Rita. I feel like I’ve come to understand Rita and hope our connection can last the distance until I return. But I know I may never see Michael again.I hug Rita, who holds on a little longer and a little tighter than I expected. “You know where to find me,” she says with a smile, but I know that I may not see her for a long time.I turn to Michael, unsure of what to say. “I am so glad my brother found his future with you,” Michael says as he embraces me. “You are a strong female and I pray to the Great One that your union is blessed,” he adds after a light squeeze.I try really hard not to cry, but this moment feels so final.If Michael passes
Once I decide to hold a meeting—my “Unification Council”—with both packs to discuss the future, I clear the idea with Michael. It takes a little explaining, not necessarily because of prior distrust between the packs, but because packs are private.“Traditionally, when members of different packs mate, one member leaves their pack to join the other,” Michael explains. “They may see other members of their family, but they are no longer members of their family’s pack.”Rita, who hasn’t left Michael’s side since his meeting with Alex, knows where I’m going with my request. “They won’t be able to do that,” she observes.I explain to Michael that this is exactly what our packs can’t expect if Alex is going to inherit the Ayzena pack and I am the only remaining descendant of the Malkeye’s Alpha. “We will have to find a way to lead them both—together.”He immediately understands the issue and the need to get both packs on board. I discuss with him and Rita what Alex and I have in mind, Michae