One

Monstrous emotions twirled up in Rosaleen's eyes as she stared back at her reflection from the mirror.

What was real pain other than this?

She could see bloodstains all over even though she knew they weren't there, but they were there.

They stared back at her.

Her pupils shook, firing back at the pool of blood.

" Rosaleen," her mother howled from the kitchen, a tint of excitement in her voice.

This was when she snapped out of her daze.

She reached out for the comb on the dressing table and brushed it past her hair.

Her school uniform — a blue jacket on top of a white short sleeved shirt and a skirt which barely touched her knees, smelled of her new cologne.

A satisfied look tore across her face as she did the final touching on her appearance.

She pulled her knee-length socks and wore her black-fitted shoes.

Her footsteps reverberated in the sitting room as she drew nearer.

She took a seat opposite the refurbished art work that had cost her family so much.

" Breakfast is ready!" her mom announced while walking through with a large tray in her clammy hands.

Steam oozed from each plate.

The aroma of tasty rice wafted through Rosaleen's nose.

Slowly, Mrs Williams dropped the large tray on the table and began to take out the plates that contained various foods.

Rosaleen rolled her eyes inwardly even though a glint of gratitude crossed her eyes.

Her mother was really a strong woman, and she admired her strength.

Making different food for a family of four was never an easy task.

It was the daily routine of the family.

" Here's yours," her mother divulged as she placed a plate in front of Rosaleen and focused to have a taste of her rice.

Her eyes met it.

The worst was just about to happen.

" Oats again!" Rosaleen whined as she ran her hand through her hair roughly, destroying the uniformity of her hair.

" You have to. It's in the schedule for breakfast," her mother pleaded as her nose burned in the warm air.

" Should I feed you? I won't mind feeding you," her mother added while she rose from her seat.

She secretly wiped out the tears trickling down her face.

Even though she knew how much her daughter hated eating oats, she had no choice but to serve it.

Mrs Williams pulled herself together and patted Rosaleen's shoulders pathetically.

She could feel those bones rising and falling as Rosaleen's breath quickened.

" You have to continue to eat them until it's all over... which I doubt it will be. We cannot afford to lose you, darling. You mean everything to us... to the family, and that's the reason we are working so hard...." her mother rattled on.

Rosaleen clenched her fist underneath the table and tightened her teeth.

Her pounding heart intensified its violent thudding.

Who was she anyway?

She continued to listen to her mother's rattling because she thought that she would just stop in no time.

She had heard the lectures before.

It was nothing new.

Her mouth thinned.

Her mouth pursed as if holding back what she really wanted to say.

She knew she had been real pain to them, but she couldn't help it.

Who could be the pain of the family if not her?

They were working so hard for her.

They were working so hard to make sure they preserved her life.

All she could just do would have to be to show gratitude even though she was tired, even though the whole process was tiring and exhausting.

Sometimes, she had wished to go to sleep and never rise in the morning to see the rising sun.

But, she had thought about her family and the reaction that would be on their faces.

The least she could do would be to stay alive for them, even though she knew she wouldn't last.

Rosaleen yanked her mother's hands off her shoulders and rose from her seat.

She glared at her mother, contemplating whether or not to speak.

" Mom, I need a break! I need a break from all of this lectures about my life. I need a break from all of this lectures about my health. Everyone wants to live. I want to live too. Do you think I don't struggle everyday with it? Even this illness wants to live.

" I know I can't do things like others because I have to take shots of insulin until I'm tired. Do you think I don't get exhausted? Do you think I'm happy that I'm the pain you have to put up with?

" Do you think I'm happy that I cannot perform other activities like other kids? I know I have diabetes type 1 and I can die at any time. I can't do several things, but the least you can do is to stop reminding me of my incapability."

She stopped amidst her quick breath and her pants to look at her parents who had already stiffened and her elder sister who stared at her with twisted emotions springing up from the inside.

She watched her mother break into tears.

Rosaleen felt hurt.

Maybe she shouldn't have said those words, but she had already.

They also felt pity for her, but she didn't want pity.

She just wanted to lead her life while ignoring her infirmity.

She wanted to lead her life oblivious of the fact that one day, perhaps soon, she would go into oblivion.

She picked up her backpack that lay on the couch, tossed a book into it and headed for the door.

" Won't you let me drop you off at school at least?" Meg, her elder sister, asked.

Rosaleen stopped at the door but she didn't turn to look at her sister.

" You don't have to be nice, Meg. I'll take the school bus."

Meg turned the peanut butter and smeared it over her bread.

" You'll get cramps."

Rosaleen nodded and Meg didn't know if it was an approval or not.

She headed out of the house without looking back, without saying goodbye.

An ache started started deep down in her stomach.

She turned away as her eyes welled up with tears.

The lump in her throat returned.

Those bubbles that usually made her speechless outside of her house returned to her throat.

Rosaleen walked past the first and second bungalows and stopped at the bus station.

The weather had turned gloomy already, and it reminded her of a movie she had seen.

It reminded her of the gory sights. It reminded her of life being sucked out of her favourite character's body.