FIVE

I woke up earlier than usual, as a result of a sleepless night. I tossed and turned so much it seemed impossible to sleep. Who knows if someone already figured out who I was and told the entire school. Every one would mock and point fingers at me. I’d be labeled ‘Shawn’se new play thing’.

   I looked at my watch and the time was five minutes past 5. I had a lot of time before getting ready for school. I didn’t know what to do to keep me busy. My body was tired and a part of me really wanted to go back to sleep, but I knew if I laid down again, I’d miss school. I sighed and rubbed my eyes. I got up and stretched a little before walking to the bathroom. I kept on yawning the entire time. Girl, I was tired.

    I looked at my face in the mirror. The bags under my eyes were becoming prominent and a permanent part of my face. My hair was a tangled mess, it looked like rats had a battle on it. I combed through it with my fingers and tried to undo the knots that formed, but it was proving to be an impossible task, I gave up and had my bath instead.

    By the time I finished my morning routine, it was almost six. I didn’t put on my clothes yet. I tied my robe and sat on my study table to revise a test I had that day. My mind drifted to the morning I spoke to Shawn for the first time. It’s true I always had a crush on him. I actually liked him to be exact. But no matter how much I liked him, I didn’t have the luxury to let my guard down and be close to him after all the things I heard about him.

    I concentrated on reading again for another thirty minutes and finally gave up. I dressed up in a mini  denim skirt and blue hoodie and made my way downstairs.

    The cook was already up and about. Making breakfast that probably won’t be eaten, of course she knew but still made them regardless.

     “Good morning Mrs Collins. How are you?” It was a genuine question. I never saw her resting. She’s already getting really old and would need to retire. I guess that’s why she overworked herself, to get enough income to care for herself. She never had any children and her husband was late.

     “Good morning child. Oh don’t you worry bout lil old Mrs Collins. I’m very well. How do you do child?” She arranged a bowl of cereal for me.

I usually didn’t eat at home in the morning, just to avoid meeting grumpy Jane. But I was up earlier than usual, she wouldn’t be up for another hour.

      “Thank you Mrs Collins.” I sat down and began to eat, she went back to her chores while humming a tune I was familiar with. She hummed that song everyday since she began working for us. She never sang the words out, and avoided the topic every time we asked of it until we finally gave up.

   I figured it was something her husband used to sing for her.

  I finished my food and went back to my room. My hair was still a mess although it wasn’t so tangled anymore. I combed through it until it felt silky, wore my hoodie over it and grabbed my bag.

     It was almost seven. I hurried to my car and drove to school.

    I parked carefully at the far end of the parking lot and kept my hands on the steering wheel trying to muster any form of courage. My stomach was in knots, if I could, I would be absent but I had an over due essay to submit. Well here goes nothing.

   I almost got out of the car when I noticed I still had the bracelet on. I took it off quickly although it hurt so much, I never took it off since I received it. My wrist felt so different after being separated from it. I kept it secured in the car where no one would find it and closed the door.

  Everyone was talking about the picture. About the mysterious girl and making assumptions on how she spent the night with Shawn. Some girls even said they saw Shawn taking the girl home. If I didn’t know any better I would have believed too. Which made me wonder if all I’ve heard about Shawn had been just lies. No girl really admitted to be his victims yet it was rumored that he’s been with half of the girls in my class and then some. But he never did anything to prove the rumors false.

    Well on the bright side, no one knew I was the one and frankly they wouldn’t suspect me, after all I’m a nobody in school. My only problem was who took the picture and Shawn.

   I stopped dead on my track. I didn’t even consider that Shawn could be a part of this. Was this his plans of humiliating me?. I began to feel the pains of betrayal. Here I was planning on a dress I’d wear for the date and it wasn’t even real. I didn’t feel as shocked as I thought I would, probably because I always had the feeling this was too good to be true anyway. My only mistake was not getting prepared and almost trusting him. I should have known he’d always be an awful person. Well there’s no need to cry over spilled milk.

    I got to my locker, got the books I needed and walked to class. Acting like I didn’t care about the rumors. No one paid any attention to me, just the way I liked it. The class was noisy with boys and girls sharing the juicy gossip. Whoever said men don’t gossip would be so ashamed of these boys. All the talking stopped abruptly like a paused video. I looked up expecting to see the teacher only to see someone else.

   Shawn walked in, awkwardly holding a girl’s hand. Of course, he’s plan is working, he didn’t need to continue his facade of being interested. He’s probably tired of hiding his new girl for me but after his plan is a step from working, I guess he saw no reason to hide her anymore. He locked eyes with me but I looked away. Class dragged on in its its usual pace and I fought to keep my eyes open through it.

  Finally the bell rang and I got out of class within two seconds avoiding bodies on my way. I got to my locker and changed books again.

   Shawn walked pass with the same girl. This time he didn’t spare me a glance. I told myself I didn’t care and slammed my locker a little too loud and awkwardly hung my head low and walked away. The next lesson was about to begin when I received a text from Shawn.

  “Hey. I saw the picture, I’m sorry for avoiding you instead of explaining myself. I swear to you, I have nothing to do with it. Just go on this date with me today, I’ll explain everything to you. We’ll go wherever you want if that will make you feel safe. I promise nothing bad is gonna happen. Please June, just this once.”

   Well it’s a good thing he knew I Suspected him. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to see him after this but I deserve n explanation right?

   I kept the phone with plans of seeking help from Lisa. I hadn’t seen her the whole day.

   The day went by slowly, it was killing me. We weren’t really learning anything new. Exams were coming up and so was prom. You could tell students were more focused on prom than exams coming up next week. Honestly I didn’t have time to play around with Shawn on some stupid date that probably wouldn’t end well. I  had to focus on getting good grades that would get me into Yale. Mom wanted me to go there because she went there. Not by choice yeah, but I didn’t have any other college in mind.

   But just like Lisa said, I have to live a little. No one wants to go to college a complete novice.

   The last class for the day was finally over and I as usual, I left the class without wasting any second. I hadn’t seen Lisa the entire day and I was getting worried. I didn’t go for lunch, I had a meeting with the History teacher and it took all my time. I tried calling her but it kept going to voicemail. I drove home quickly and went straight to my room. I was starting to believe she was avoiding me until she called.

  “Hey girl, I’m sorry I missed your calls, was kinda busy.”

    “It’s fine. Where are you? You didn’t come to school, did you?”

   “Uhm, I went on the camping trip with my mom. You know, the one I’ve been talking about for weeks.” Disappointment clear in her voice. And she really should be disappointed. I can’t believe I forgot about it.

       “Okay, I didn’t forget....”

    “Nah you didn’t, you just didn’t remember. Right?”

      “Yup that is correct.”

   “You do know they are the same right?” She laughed.

     “Are they? I have no idea. I am so dumb” I laughed too.

     “You’re crazy. Anyways, I received the picture. I know you weren’t kissing so no need to explain. I’m sure everyone else is thinking they are kissing but clearly anyone with two eyes and a brain would know it isn’t.”

   “Thank you soo much babe. But how exactly did you figure that part out?” Lisa’s brain works in crazy ways honestly.

       “Well first, if you kissed Shawn, you would have called me to spill the deets. Second, even though his head is covering your face, it’s a bit too far from your lips. Unless you have side lips.”

       “Wow, I didn’t even see it that way. I guess I’m as dumb as everyone else.”

     “You’re dumb, yes. I’m glad we both accept that, but you don’t compare to how dumb an entire school is.”

     “ haha, I’m gonna let that pass because I love you. It’s true though, everyone else wants to see what they are told and not the real thing.”

   “So how’s your camping. Hopefully it’s better than my day.”

   “Nope it’s worse. Mom thought it would be fun to hike up and down a mountain. I can’t feel my legs.”

   “I saw a snake too. The green kind, I don’t know their name neither do I care. Mom whacked it with her hiking stick. That’s when the decided we had enough for one day.”

      “Wow that’s tough. Sorry buttercup. It’s good for exercise though, if it helps.”

   “ I’ve had enough, I’m not a nature person. Soo are you still going on the date. I’m sure no one suspects it’s you. Your hair wasn’t even visible only your bracelet.”

    “Yeah, I took it off.”

  “Oh dear sorry, you’ve never taken it off. It’ll pass soon don’t worry. Soon something humiliating will happen to someone and yours would be history.”

    “Yeah I’m sure. It’s just not fair sometimes. Why can’t we all mind our own business?”

   “Sweetie it’s  high school. It’s totally normal. You haven’t answered the date question.”

   “Yeah about that. He sent me a text. Hold on I’ll send it to you.” I quickly forward the message to her and it showed seen. There was silence for a few seconds before she talked again.

  “I think you should go. To get an explanation. Besides if it’s all a truck or something who cares. This is senior year. We have exams in a week then prom then it’s over. No one is gonna talk about it for more than two days. Besides what’s wrong with kissing a boy, most of the gossipers aren’t Virgins anyway.”

   “You’re right. I’m allowed to have a life.”

    “Lisa, there’s a huge problem right now.”

    “Let me guess, you have no idea what to wear.”

     “I know, we are besties after all. But you do have something to wear. You have a walk in closet full with every teenager’s dream. If any girl at school compare  that closet and what you wear to school, they’d sue you.” Yup Lisa can exaggerate to save a life. But it was true I had a walk in closet. With different clothes, I couldn’t wear them all in a year.

  “You are such a drama queen. Okay yes I have a million things to wear but I can’t decide on which. I don’t want too look too expensive and cheap either. Plus I don’t know where we are going. What if I wear an evening gown and end up in a burger joint.” We both laughed at my despair.

   “You’re right. We don’t want you embarrassing yourself before the main embarrassment.”

    “But you said nothing’s gonna happen. Are you sure u should do this. I really won’t mind staying home.”

   “Relax, I’m joking. Jeez, tire really nervous aren’t you? Well this is your first date, you should be nervous. But it’ll be fine. Why don’t you text and find out where. So you can be prepared.”

    I walked into the closet and sat at the makeup table.

   “You’re right. Would you believe I didn’t even let him know I’d be going with him?”

   “Yup I’d believe that. I know who I’m speaking to.”

    “I’m gonna have your head after this.”

    “Yh yh keep dreaming. Call me when he replies. I gotta go fetch sticks for a bon fire. Gotta love the camping spirit. Bye love you.”

   “ stop pretending, I know you love it. Bye idiot.” I ended the call before she could reply.

   I didn’t know what to tell him. I haven’t texted a boy before. Lame, I know but living with an evil sister will do that to you. I took a deep breath and wrote something simple.

“Come pick me by 9. If you’re late one minute you can forget about it. This better not be a prank or so help me God.” I sent it before I changed my mind.

   Waiting for his response was torture. I kept on glancing at the phone for any text. At some point I was tempted to text again but quickly decided against it, don’t want him to know I’m nervous or anxious. What’s taking him so long?

I took the chance to look around the closet. I never come here, still mom insisted on keeping it packed. The table had makeup accessories arranged neatly on it.  I picked a purple lip gloss. Purple has always been my favorite color. I wondered how it would look on me. The small clock on the table said it was three minutes past six. I needed to get ready before nine. Two hours is not nearly enough time for a girl to get ready for a date she’s nervous about.

   Finally I saw the message pop up my screen and my stomach did a little flip. Why am I so nervous?

    “Alright, I’ll be there. Thank you for giving me this chance you won’t regret it. We aren’t going anywhere fancy though, I hope it’s not a problem. I figured you’d want a quiet evening.”

How did he know I was fretting over what to wear? Well no matter I had to hurry.

  I remembered Lisa asked me to call her so I did. She answered on the first ring.

   “You are in big trouble when I come back, you won’t get away with calling me an idiot. I’m the one who calls you idiot not the other way round.” She didn’t even let me say hello. Her pretend angry voice was so cute it was a battle to keep myself from laughing.

   “Whatever, IDIOT. I texted Shawn and we’re meeting up around 9 pm.”

   “Oh good. So did you ask home where you are going? We don’t want you wearing jeans and T-shirt to a fancy restaurant.”

   “I didn’t have to ask him. It’s like he read my mind. He said we aren’t going to a fancy place. Something about wanting a quiet evening. He didn’t say anything more. Do you think he’s ashamed of being seen with me?”

       “No silly of course not. He’s probably planning something romantic.”

    “Ugh I haven’t dressed up since forever.” I wanted excuse to not pull through with this but I knew my best friend would hear nothing if it.

   “Okay call me on FaceTime and I’ll see what I can do.” She ended the call and I called her on FaceTime.

    “Okay, ho to the Jeans section.” I went to the end of the closet. Jeans with different colors and designs were folded neatly on a counter.

    “Okay, uhm a baggy Jean wouldn’t be a problem. If you put it on with a crop top. You’d look pretty.”

   “Nah I’m not feeling like it.”

  “Okay a dress then. You have tons of cute short dresses. You could wear the red one.”

   “I have a lot of red short dresses. Specify please.”

   “Ugh. The one you’d have to lace through the back.”

    “Oh, yeah that’s perfect. I’ll go have my bath and try it on.”

    “Alright call me when you’re done.”

I dropped the phone and hurried to the bathroom. I took my time with the bath though, I never rushed a bath, it makes me feel incomplete.

     I took the opportunity to wash my hair too. When I finished with the whole after bath session, I went back to the closet and fetched the dress.

    It was not too short. A bit far from the knee but not too far that I can’t bend over. It was flayed with an open back that has to be laced with the rope coming from the front of the dress. The dress is armless and the ropes are big enough to cover my breast and stomach.

    I called a maid to help me and she abruptly stopped what she was doing.

    I stood in front of the mirror and put the dress on. I didn’t wear a bra, the dress is backless so it would show. She zipped the side, wrapped the fat part of the ropes over my stomach until it was left with the tiny part. She took them to the back and laced it.

    She finished with it and asked if she could do my makeup but I declined politely. I can handle a little makeup right?.

     She left and I called Lisa on face time again.

     “Wow girl, that dress looks good. Shawn won’t take his eyes of you.” She practically squealed at my sight.

   “Well it’s thanks to you for picking it for me. Well I’m going for a light make up. Very light he wouldn’t see it.”

   “Okay, but make a smoky eyeshadow would you?”

   “Please it’s just a stupid date I’m not trying to impress anyone.” I applied the little amount of makeup I needed and proceeded to my hair.

       “Yes you aren’t trying to impress and you wore that dress. You could’ve worn a sack that way if believe you. But you in a sack still wouldn’t be a bad idea.”

       “Shut up. You give me the worst advice when I’m nervous.”

    “You’re still nervous? I didn’t notice at all.” You could hear the sarcasm from miles away.

     I combed through my hair until it was silky and wavy at my back. I didn’t know what he felt about letting down my hair so I pulled it in a high ponytail. I picked a black slipper and tied the ropes on my leg. Why am I tying everything I wear?.

    “Okay how do I look?” I turned around for her to see me closely.

  “You look great. Don’t forget a Jacket, unless you’re planning on leaving it behind on purpose.” She smirked and gave me a knowing smile.

     “Haha, very funny.” I picked a black jacket and held it on my arms.

I walked to the bag section and picked a tiny black bag and showed it to her.

   “I am raiding your closet when I get back. I promise.”

   “I will sue you.” I joked. She could take anything and I wouldn’t mind.

    “Okay. Uhm June?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Tell me you didn’t forget to look at the time.” Yup I did.

    “Nope I remembered.”

   “Liar, if you did, you would be freaking out now.” I looked at the table clock and yelped. It read two minutes two nine and I haven’t taken permission to leave yet.

    “I gotta go ask my mom for permission.”

   “You mean, you said yes to a date, dressed up and even chose the time but you didn’t take permission?!!!”

   “Don’t say it like that. You make it sound like I’m stupid.” I closed my eyes and braced myself.

   “You are stupid, you idiot. I forget how brainless you can be sometimes.”

   “Well what are you waiting for. Run!!!” And I did.

I ran all the way to my parents room and didn’t even knock.

   “Child, Whatever is the matter. You look out of breath as you look stunning in that dress.” My mom spoke up from the reading table.

   “Sorry, I ran all the way here. I’ve got a date in two minutes and I forgot to ask for your permission.”

   “But you remembered to dress up.” She shakes her head and smiled.

   “Okay you can go. Just inform me earlier than this. Maybe an hour would be a wonderful improvement. I am glad you’re finally giving yourself a little pleasure. I never see you with a guy I almost thought you’re gay.”

    “Mom!!” I opened my mouth in horror. My phone rang and I knew it’s Shawn. Damn he’s on time.

   “I gotta go. You are off the hook until I return.” I closed the door and walked downstairs.

    I opened the gate and walked outside.

   “Hi....” I was unsure of what to say.

  He walked over. He looked handsome in his dark jeans and black top. He wore a leather jacket over the top and it gave him the bad boy look. His hair was combed back, but his blue eyes were what captivated me. Every time. Even in the dark it was still very visible.  He took my hand and pulled me into a hug. I inhaled his scent. It was aftershave, soap, leather and mint. It was intoxicating.

   I pulled away gently and he took my hand.

   “Well, shall we?”.