4 - Jack

When Mom was talking to Uncle Benjie, I first noticed the expression on her face. It was painfully obvious that we were in an awkward situation, and I found that I couldn't even look directly at Uncle. I mean, it had been such a very long time...

When my father abandoned us when I was a child, Mom decided to take me in and raise me on her own. As a result, she severed ties with every member of Dad's family and circle of friends. Aunt Jonah, my mother's best friend, has informed me that Dad's family is strongly opposed to the idea of my mom and dad being together, and they had wanted to take me in to raise themselves. But as time went on, Dad's parents eventually came around to the idea because they were well aware of what a terrible father their son was. Simply put, they knew he wouldn't be able to look after me. Giving me to dad's second wife, whom he decided to cheat on and leave, was their last and only option. 

Even though my father's side had severed all ties with my mother, there was one person who would occasionally check in on us. That was Uncle Benjie. For the most part, I remember him being in college at the time. I used to play with him whenever he came to visit us. But eventually, things changed. One day, he suddenly changed his number, and after that, his visits became fewer and fewer frequent until they finally stopped happening altogether. We haven't heard from him since I entered college.

"Mom," I called.

Both my mother and my uncle Benjie looked at me.

"Aki, is that really you?" Uncle Benjie spoke, looking at me from head to toe as he did so.

"Aki, do you still remember your Uncle Benjie?" Mom said with a smile, as if it was an everyday occurrence to run into Uncle in this place. 

I tried to get rid of my worries and decided to answer with a calm face. I merely glanced over at Uncle and nodded in response. "Yeah..."

"Wow, look at you now. You're so tall and handsome, you almost look like your dad, " a very amused Uncle Benjie replied.

Did I just hear that correctly? I'm compared to who now? My mouth dropped open in disbelief at what Uncle Benjie had said.

"Ah, Benj. You did say that there is still something you need to do, right? Even Aki and I have to get going now. There is a table waiting for us at this one restaurant, " I was about to proceed with what I was going to do when Mom suddenly stepped in between us. 

It was a good idea for her to act as a mediator between my uncle Benjie and me. My uncle, who is not at all sensitive. God alone knows what I would have said or done to him if she hadn't intervened.

Uncle simply nodded and said a few more words before walking away.

Mom sighed and looked at me, "Don't mind your uncle's words. Come on, we really have a reservation."

I frowned in the direction of Uncle Benjie. "I don't understand, mom; how did he get here? And why are you two together? Have you been communicating with him the whole time?"

"What? No! It's nothing more than a coincidence, Aki. I told you that since you started college, we have not been in contact with one another. Remember? It's merely a coincidence that your uncle is also staying at this resort at the same time," Mom explained. 

I'm sure mom is aware of the fact that I'm frustrated right now. It is not because of Uncle Benjie and his coincidental appearance but rather because of what he said. Of all the people who will look like me, they must mention that son of a... Fuck it! It is the worst possible insult to me to be compared to that individual of all people.

Shit. I'm really losing my composure because of this... 

"Aki," Mom called out once, squeezing my arm and helping me relax. I was moved by her touch and sighed. 

"Fine, but is that other guy here as well?" I asked without giving it any thought right away. If that guy is in this place, I'm going to completely lose it.

My question caught Mom off guard. She let go of her hold on my arm and turned her gaze in a different direction.

Her only response was, "I don't know...," and it came right before we left the house to go to the restaurant where we had made reservations for lunch.

"Let's put this off for a while, Aki. Today's the day that we are supposed to celebrate your graduation," My mom brought it to my attention as soon as we entered the restaurant.

Sighing, I nodded my head in agreement. Mom smiled at me, which helped my heart return to normal. 

She was right. It's probably best if I just forget about seeing my uncle for the time being and the question of whether or not my father is currently present... It would no longer be our concern. It was merely a coincidence, as my mother put it. Nothing else is going to happen.

I won't let it.

After completing my studies at the university, I intend to find a job in the area close to the condominium that my mother and I share. As always, I don't want to part with mom. I also knew she was getting older and would require my presence in her life even more. That, or it was just another one of my lame excuses.

I just have this overwhelming desire to be with her. No matter how obsessive it may sound... 

After we finished eating, my mother and I went back to our bedroom. 

I'm currently drying my hair while sitting on my bed. The room where my mother and I stayed at the resort has two beds. A small table with drawers sits on one side of the bed.

When I opened the very top of it, I was no longer surprised to see the vibrating packs of condoms inside it. I smirked. It seems as though the staff has forgotten that a mother and son will be occupying this room together.

After giving it some thought, I went ahead and grabbed one of the condoms. My recollections of the evening spent with mom started to flood back to me little by little.

I let out a deep sigh as I was thinking about it. As if another bucket of icy water had been dumped on me, I was ready to scream out in pain and frustration.

Dream.

It was all nothing but a hot yet stupid dream.

In the end, the most anticipated event in my life was nothing more than the product of my imagination. Of being a conceited, horny child.

I was able to get sober due to that incident, and I haven't given it another thought since. If my lower body reacts to her, I try to get rid of it as quickly as possible. I always do anyway. Over the past few years, I've realized that the best friend I can have and truly rely on is self-control. When I don't want to be reminded of the shamelessness of my thoughts, I find that putting my attention on my studies is the best option. Coincidentally, I became one of the top graders without noticing. 

Nobody knew that it was only a product of my own fair share of difficulty in life - a coping mechanism to escape from the real feelings I own towards a certain person, that was. Anyway, mom had always praised me for those - those achievements born out of mere luck and hard work that shouldn't be there at all if not for her.