Chapter One: Nineteen is the Goal
**Lyric POV**
**Flashback**
I remember the red and blue lights of the cop cars flashing like strobe lights, the constant wail of sirens piercing the air, and the golden-haired paramedic gently pulling a cloth over my shoulder. He carefully immobilized my leg while another paramedic held a tiny flashlight, peering into my eyes.
“She looks healthy, aside from a few scratches here and there. The fracture will heal in a month or so. She will be fine,” he announced, but I paid no attention to his words; my eyes were glued to the ambulance.
I stared at the stretcher, horrified as an arm rolled off it and hit the ground. One of the paramedics quickly followed, picking it up and placing it back on the stretcher as if it were a loose gumball. I cringed at the sight of my favorite candy ring adorning her index finger. I had given her that ring.
“What is your name, sweetie? Who is the lady on the stretcher?” he asked. I gave him no response—not because I didn’t want to, but because I couldn’t. My lips suddenly forgot how to move. Tears streamed down my face as my shoulders began to shake. The paramedic cursed under his breath and stared at me intently, his eyes filled with pity. “I think she’s in shock,” he murmured.
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“Aunt Lyric, Hanna is hugging the bathroom to herself and doesn’t want to come out! I have to pee!” Lana, the youngest of the triplets, exclaimed, dancing in place as if trying to hold it in. Her blonde ponytail bounced with each movement. They were all identical: same hair, same eye color, even the same voice, but I could spot their differences with just a glance.
It was just another chaotic morning at the Spencer house. I had a crying eight-month-old, Derrick, on my hip—he was the youngest of the family—while a six-year-old begged to use the bathroom, and the second triplet, Catherine, played with her train set in her underwear in the living room. Meanwhile, our aspiring pop queen was rocking out to Madison Beer in the bathroom.
Great. Just great.
I turned off the stove, leaving the eggs barely cooked, and rushed to the bathroom to coax Hanna out. The one silver lining of having triplets was not having to deal with triplets and an infant. Derrick's cries grew louder with each step I took, and I didn’t blame him. The poor kid was hungry. His mother had weaned him at six months, which left me to deal with it.
My aunt, Stephanie, loved giving birth but despised everything that followed. I often thought the idea of being paid during her maternity leave excited her more than the children themselves.
I pounded on the bathroom door—three hard knocks—hoping Hanna could hear me above the blaring music. I pictured her inside, probably slathering my lip gloss over her lips while lip-syncing to the catchy tune.
I despised introducing her to music at such a young age.
I hit the door again, wishing I could suddenly yell at this six-year-old to end my suffering by opening the door. It was fifteen minutes past five in the morning; I needed to prepare the triplets for school and Derrick for daycare so I could catch the bus early and arrive at school on time. Today was my first day of sophomore year. I was excited, despite last year being a disaster.
I hit the door again.
Unfortunately, there was still no response.
Lana tugged at my sweatpants, stained with vomit, pee, and remnants of a food fight, as she continued to dance around the room. There was only one bathroom in this three-room apartment, and it was horrifying.
What happened in that bathroom sometimes scared me. I worried the kids might get infections due to their father’s constant infidelities. That was why I washed the bathroom twice a day.
She pulled on my pants again. “Aunt Lyric, please tell her to open the door! I want to pee!” she emphasized, her face scrunched in desperation.
I reached out to ruffle her hair when Catherine, the bane of my existence and the rudest of the triplets, piped up, “Don’t waste your time on Aunt Lyric. Don’t you know she’s mute? Dad says she’s defective and probably doesn’t understand what we’re saying.” She pointed at her head and performed the weirdest sign language I had ever seen—just a figure eight and some random symbol. It was ridiculous.
As much as I wanted to remember that she was just a six-year-old fed nonsense by her alcoholic father, I couldn’t help the pang in my stomach or the sting of tears behind my eyes.
Being called mute was my sore spot.
I knew I couldn’t talk, and it was my worst insecurity. I used to speak freely, but now I didn’t.
“Aunt Lyric hears just fine; she can’t talk, that’s all,” my favorite, Lana, snapped back at her sister. My face lit up with happiness until I felt something warm and liquid hit my feet.
I jumped back, startled, as I noticed the pee pooling on the floor and Lana’s wet skirt. She clapped her hand over her mouth in shock.
One, two, three—I counted to stop myself from thinking about mopping the floor again. Lana broke into giggles. “I don’t need to go to the bathroom anymore!”
I shook my head, exasperated, as Derrick, who had gone quiet, suddenly let out a wail louder than a fire alarm. Speaking of fire alarms, an actual one blared above my head. Before I could react, the system unlocked, and water from the ceiling began to rain down on us.
“It’s raining!” the kids shouted in unison, their laughter echoing through the chaos.
Hanna’s music blared even louder as Lana twirled in delight beneath the unexpected shower.
I dashed across the room for the mop, but my foot slipped on the wet floor, and I fell hard. I managed to secure Derrick in my arms, making sure he didn’t get hurt as I went down.
I blinked the tears away, thinking ' I hate my life.'
Quickly, I got to my feet, shaking off the water and focusing on the triplets. I struggled to sign with Derrick on my hip. <<Okay, everyone, let’s clean up!>>
Due to their young ages, the triplets had learned to comprehend my signs better than my uncle and his wife. In fact, Catherine was the only one among them who still struggled.
The giggles and chaos began to fade as the kids realized they needed to help. Catherine stared down at me with her hands on her hips, “Why would I do that? Aunt Lyric, it’s your job to take care of us. Daddy said you’re our maid.”
Of course, I was the maid. I was also the tutor, the cook, the lawn mower. Ever since I lost my parents, my uncle had taken me in. I became a maid for them.
I started cooking at nine, washing their clothes, going to the market. And with my disorder, everything became so much harder with every human contact.
Nonetheless, I pretended I didn’t hear that. Catherine had been calling me the maid since she was in diapers. It didn’t matter; everything would get better when I turned nineteen. I reminded myself of that.
Lana listened to her sister and ran off somewhere, while I went back to ensure the stove was off and the eggs weren’t completely burnt. They were the last three eggs we had.
The music grew louder, and my aunt yelled something from her room upstairs. I leaned against the kitchen sink, trying to hum Derrick to sleep.
My phone pinged with a message from our school website. I ignored it, focusing on cleaning the dishes with Derrick on my back. He must have fallen asleep as he nestled against me, but my thoughts were interrupted by his soft whimpers before he settled down again.
I continued to hum while secretly repeating my mantra in my head.
*Nineteen is my goal. Nineteen is soon. Nineteen will be the best.*
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Author's Note
The female character is mute so I will use this symbols ' << >> ' when she is communicating/signing. Thank you.
Chapter Two: Bad idea It had been barely twenty minutes since I arrived at school, and someone was already yelling at me. As if it were my fault that they decided not to use the pavement and chose the pedestrian path. At the entrance, I was taken aback by the poster of the school hockey team, the *Velmont Sharks*. It featured a group photo of six hockey players and their coach, all wearing huge smiles for winning the Stanley Cup three years ago. That win did great things for our town; it basically put Velmont on the map. Despite being a town of farmers and bikers, it was known by the world as a town of hockey. Three recruits from our school played exceptionally during the playoffs. It went viral online—we had memes, posters, everything leading back to our tomato-bearing Velmont. I sighed, making my way to my locker, when I suddenly felt someone slam into me, and I crashed against the locker. Pain reverberated through my body, and I bit my lip to deal with it.
# Chapter Three: Gavin Hawkins was an Asshole The first hours of school went on smoothly until literature, when the teacher talked about the bullying she had suffered back in school. It made me remember when I was younger. I had been a shy and quiet kid, but my mutism had made me an easy target for bullies. They called me "silent treatment" and said I was "ignoring" them, even when I was trying my best to communicate. They pushed me around, tripped me in the hallways, and even stole my lunch money. This was college, and so much had changed. Some people had realized it was a disorder and not my doing; only Emilia had changed. I shook my head, trying to get those thoughts off my mind. "Are you okay, Miss Spencer?" The literature teacher, Miss Beth, had inquired, her face contorting in worry. It warmed my heart that she cared about me. Only a few people cared about me. Before I could gesture that I was fine, someone beat me to it. I didn't know who in a cl
Chapter four :I am asking nicely. Lyric 's POV The rest of the math class felt like a blur. Mr. Smith’s voice droned on, but all I could think about was the way Gavin looked at me. I replayed his words in my mind: “She can have mine.” Why did he do that? Was it pity or something else? I didn't want anyone's pity, especially not his. I couldn't believe I liked him. As the bell rang, I gathered my things slowly, still processing the events of the day. I glanced around the classroom, but Gavin was already gone. I sighed, feeling a mix of relief and disappointment. Walking to my next class, I overheard some students whispering. I caught bits of conversation about me—“that girl,” “dumb and deaf.” My heart sank. It seemed like some people would never change. In the hall, I spotted Gavin talking to a brunette girl, Janice from art class. She was pretty and had a good body. I couldn’t help but compare myself to her—she had bigger boobs than me, and her lips lo
Chapter five: You can't let anyone bully you Lyric POV As if on cue, the class of sixty students laughed at my predicament. I could only feel the hole in my chest getting bigger; to think I would get used to all this by now. I guess I am too weak. Last year, we had a big project due, and I worked really hard on it. But when I tried to present, I couldn't speak. The bullies started laughing, saying I was "faking it" and "just trying to get attention." The teacher didn't do much to stop it, and I felt like I was all alone. I started to doubt myself, wondering if I was indeed "stupid" or "weird." I began to skip school, afraid of facing the bullies again. Now it was happening again. I could not go a day without berating myself. Maybe my sick mind loved the twisted attraction. As I stood there, paint dripping down my face, I felt a mix of humiliation and anger. Gavin's eyes widened in surprise, his expression shifting from confusion to concern. "Are you oka
Chapter Six: Apologize! Lyric POV "Shame on you, Miss Spencer, hitting your fellow students barely after school hours." It was Miss Lia; she caught me with my fist midair. Quickly, I typed it down as a text and sent it to her number on WhatsApp. Me: It isn't what it looks like, ma'am. "Really?" She scoffed. Her eyes narrowing at me, "These girls are hurt because of you, and I saw you hitting Janice, but you are denying it. Is it because of the art room incident?" "Please don't blame her, ma'am. She is just angry and gets frustrated because she can't use her words," interrupted Janice, feigning innocence. If I weren't here when it happened, I would have thought I was lying too. As expected, Miss Lia bought it. She swayed her face towards mine, menace evident in her eyes. "What do you have to say for yourself, Miss Spencer?" "What can she say, Miss Lia? Please don't punish her. It is difficult living life the way she does." Living life like m
Chapter Seven: Pizza n Stuff Lyric POV I insisted Wren leave instead of following me into our house. We might have known each other since middle school, but Wren had never been into our house. I prayed it remained so. You never know when my drunkard of an uncle would run out of money and return home. That meant he would take out all his frustrations on me, and I don't want Wren getting involved. Wren was a sweetheart; she would want to protect me and might get hurt. I don't want that. I would only have to protect myself from him until I turned nineteen. Nineteen was the goal. I went home, cooked, cleaned, and did the household laundry. Tired, after doing my assignment in mathematics, I lay in my bed, my mind fleeting at the events of that afternoon, after making sure my door was locked. Gavin had supported his girlfriend and kissed her in my presence. The boy I liked kissed another girl in my presence. It hurt like hell. I wanted to forget. The tears b
Chapter Eight: The Not Happening List Lyric POV On my way out of Pizza n' Stuff, I turned on my phone so the messages could rush in using the restaurant WiFi. Employees only got to use it during breaks and after hours. I did not expect a lot of people to contact me since my circle was limited to Wren and J, but we don't talk anymore. I wondered how he was doing. J was my pen pal from back when I was living at a group home. We separated, and he gave me an email to contact him. It was his grandmother's, while I used my father's. We used to talk every day until college when he stopped replying to my messages, and I stopped texting. Adulting was awful. My eyes widened at the sight of a familiar figure leaning against a green truck owned by one of the workers at my restaurant. Half of her face was hidden from my view, but I could tell from the hoop earrings and short skirt that it was Janice. What was she doing here? For some reason, it piqued my interes
Chapter Nine: It's a Date Gavin's POV The first time I set my eyes on Lyric Spencer, she didn’t know I was watching her. I remember it was after we lost a game, and one teacher decided it was the perfect time to give an impromptu test. I left the hockey rink for school after changing into jeans and a baggy shirt. My steps were fast, ignoring the observing and admiring eyes of the students around me. I was “The Wall” in the rink and “Hot Gavin” at school. I knew I was handsome, dashing, hot. The only fortunate trait I took from my father. I’ve seen the way women acted around him despite him being in his late fifties. It was the same way they acted around me. Puck bunnies. Women who were ready to fuck the brains out of every hockey player they saw. I didn’t give two fucks about them. For me, a relationship was a transaction: I give them orgasms, and they keep me satisfied. The other stuff didn’t matter to me. Until her. Lyric Spencer. A unique name.
Chapter 50: I had to find himLYRIC SPENCER POV According to Principal Holloway, we were to start our punishment at the drama clock at five after school. I had rushed home to prepare lunch for the kids. When I arrived, my aunt was sitting on the floor in tears, her clothes torn, and the house was a mess. Water leaked from the sink, broken shards of glass covered the floor, and the stench of cigarettes filled the air. I dashed to her, falling to my knees beside her. My skin scraped against the glass, but I ignored the pain. I tapped her softly, urging her to meet my eyes. > I signed, desperate for answers. No reply. She stared blankly at the other side of the room, lost in a daze. Then, I remembered the kids. My heart pounded as I scrambled to their rooms, nearly tripping over the curtains at the door. I pushed the door open—empty. My heart sank. I clasped my palm over my mouth, my stomach twisting at the thought of
Chapter 49: What Are You Doing? The principal’s office smelled like old books and burnt coffee. The air was thick with silence, aside from the ticking clock on the wall. I sat stiffly in the chair, my injured arm stinging, but I refused to look at it. Across from me, Emilia sat with her arms crossed, her cheek still red from my slap. She didn’t look scared. If anything, she looked amused. With the power her father had over Velmont, it was expected. Gavin stood beside me. Too close. His fingers twitched like he wanted to reach for me, but I ignored him. Principal Holloway sighed, rubbing her temples. Curly gray hair touching her shoulders, "Fighting? Again?" Her tired eyes swept over all of us. "This is becoming a pattern with you, Miss Davidson." Emilia smirked. "I was attacked." I tightened my grip on my phone. Liar. Wren scoffed, leaning forward. "Oh, please. She tried to slap me first." "She’s right," Aaron added. "Lyric only defended her fri
Chapter 48: You don’t get to ask that After class, I went back to ignoring him. His phone buzzed, but instead of responding, he let out a quiet sigh. "Lyric," he said, barely above a whisper. "Please wait—" I ignored him. Grabbed my bag. Stood up. I was halfway out the door when he caught my wrist. I froze for a full minute. His touch wasn’t forceful. It wasn’t rough. But it sent a jolt through me, like my body still remembered what it felt like to be held by him. What it felt like to tremble under him, how he tasted. How badly I had bitten into his back to stifle my moans. This was messed up. I didn’t need him anymore. Slowly, I turned back. He released me the second our eyes met. I expected him to look cocky, maybe even amused. But he looked… lost. Like he didn’t know what to say. Like he wasn’t sure if he should say anything at all. It was a first for the great Gavin Hawkins. His shoulders slumped, his eyes pleading. '' Please talk to
Chapter 47: I'd Keep My Storm LYRIC SPENCER POV For the rest of the class, I refused to acknowledge him. My brush moved in frantic, sharp strokes, splattering paint with more force than necessary. Each color I chose—deep reds, bruised purples, slashes of black—felt like they bled straight from my chest. Gavin didn’t speak. He didn’t text. But I could feel him watching, like a storm brewing just out of sight. It wasn’t until the teacher announced clean-up that he finally moved. He stretched lazily, his broad shoulders rolling back as if this whole thing was just a game. "Nice painting," he murmured under his breath. I shot him a glare. It was a mistake. His eyes weren’t teasing anymore. They weren’t smug. They were searching—serious in a way that made my stomach tighten. I tore my gaze away, shoving my brushes into the cup of murky water. "Everybody, drop your brushes," Miss Lia announced. Her gaze turned stern when it met mine but relaxed wh
# Chapter 46: I’m Trying to Move On ## LYRIC SPENCER POV The following week became less bothersome. Avoiding Gavin had become second nature. With his hockey practice and our tight schedules, it felt like we were in separate cities—mostly due to my efforts. I changed my usual routes to class, made sure to sit on the opposite side of every room, and even stopped going to the library, knowing it was one of his least favorite places. Gavin loved video games and found art boring. But Gavin Hawkins wasn’t one to give up easily. The following morning, I arrived at my locker, only to find a folded piece of paper tucked inside. I glanced around, my heart hammering in my chest, before unfolding it. "We are taking the exams today. Wish me luck. I would like to see you after we are done. Urgent." The handwriting was messy, familiar. Gavin. I crumpled the paper and shoved it deep into my pocket, refusing to acknowledge the way my stomach twisted at h
# Chapter 45: Not Giving Up ## LYRIC SPENCER POV "Lyric, Lyric, wait—" My world spun as Gavin snatched my hand, pulling me against his chest. We both tumbled to the muddy ground, his arms caging me like a mother protecting her newborn. When we finally came to a stop, I lay on top of him, breathless. Droplets of rain slid down my face, dripping onto his. My soaked hair clung to my skin, and his chest rose and fell beneath me. Gavin jerked me by the waist, flipping us over in one swift motion. Now, he was on top of me, his face inches from mine. In the dim light of the rain, he looked almost unreal—like a different version of himself. "Lyric—" I shook my head, my legs kicking in defiance. I didn’t want to hear whatever he had to say. "I’m not going to force you," he murmured, his grip firm but gentle as he pinned my wrists above my head. His voice softened. "I’m sorry for what I did that hurt you. I’m sorry I didn’t meet your expectations for what
Chapter 44: Something you... loveLYRIC SPENCER POV The days passed quickly, and it was my last class with Gavin Hawkins. Avoiding him had been difficult when we were only inches apart. As always, I arrived minutes earlier than the designated time. I spotted Gavin pinning a woman against a Lexus, his arms caging her in. Our eyes met, and something twisted in my stomach. I didn’t like it. They were so close—so close they could taste each other’s breath. I didn’t like how her perfectly manicured hands rested on his chest as if it was the most natural thing in the world. I wanted to look away, but I couldn’t. Gavin gripped her chin and pressed his lips onto hers. I noticed her entire body squirm against his, her toes curling as a soft moan escaped her lips. He deepened the kiss, and I felt my insides churn with discomfort—especially because his eyes never left mine. I didn’t like this. Tears pricked my eyes, stinging like a freshly peeled onion. I wanted
Chapter 43: You Have Taste Lyric Spencer POV The morning sun streamed through my bedroom window, and I braced myself for the day ahead. Today, I would see Gavin Hawkins again—not as the boy who had stolen my firsts, but as my student. Nothing more. I was not going to let him see how much he affected me. Standing in front of my closet, I carefully picked what I was going to wear. My eyes caught the dress I wore that night, and my heart ached. I pushed it aside and picked up my most comfortable clothes—a fitting blouse and black pants. Nothing too fancy. I would have gone with my bare face as usual, but my eyes were puffy. Luckily, tutorials on YouTube had helped me fix that. My hair was pulled back neatly, my makeup minimal but effective at hiding the evidence of the previous days of crying. With my bag slung over my shoulder, I grabbed my notebook and headed out the door, ignoring the growing pit in my stomach—a sour reminder of the usual butterflies.
Chapter 42: Broken hearted LYRIC SPENCER POV I lay in bed, feeling empty and hollow. I couldn't believe Gavin had left me like that, without even a proper explanation. As I lay there, I couldn't help but think about Emilia's words. Had I been foolish to believe Gavin truly cared for me? Was I just another conquest to him? A wave of sadness washed over me, and I let out a sob. I had given Gavin my virginity, and he had thrown it back in my face. Slowly, I got out of bed, my body aching from the night's activities. I looked around my room, taking in the messy sheets and discarded clothes. It was a mess, just like my heart. Taking a deep breath, I began to clean up the room. I wasn't going to let Gavin Hawkins break me. I would pick myself up, dust myself off, and move on. I had been through worse. When I finished cleaning, I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were puffy from crying, and my skin was pale. Hickeys were scattered across my body, especi