Chapter 7

My heart couldn’t stop beating. This guy instantly affected my whole being without even putting so much effort in it. I’m good at hiding what I feel, but right now—I’m about to explode.

How did he make me feel this?

His grey eyes stared at me. I remained silent and ignored him. My cousin was looking at me with his menacing stare. I must ignore him and stay away from him. That’s the safest thing to do.

“Missy,” he called me. “I believe we have something to talk about.”

I didn’t respond and looked away. He’s acting weird, or maybe I’m the who's acting like that. Can he just get lost?

I turned to Adira. “Let’s go.”

“Cariño.”

I bit my lower lip hard. I squeezed my eyes tightly while calming myself. He should stop this. He should stop being this close to me.

Because being with me will just put him in the darkness that was his greatest fear.

I turned my back at them and started to walk. My cousin was calling me but I hurriedly walked away from them. Because as you grow up, all you ever do is to leave. You leave people, and situations, and places. It’s not because you hate them or you don’t want them; it’s because you want to find peace that only yourself can give.

My mother often says “Be so strong that you would never need anyone”, “Be so strong that nobody can hurt you”, “Be so strong that you can stand for yourself”. So, I ask myself how does it feel to be strong? Was it being devoid of emotions, if it meant to be heartless, cold, lonely, and invulnerable?

In the eyes of people around me, I’m the strongest person. The woman who can reign on her own and can make everyone bow on her. But they didn’t know that I’m the most vulnerable person that they will ever meet. I am just good at hiding and covering those scars that I battle with my own.

My eyes clouded with tears. I let it fall. People always think that I can handle all my problems and that I’m okay. But deep inside it kills me. They always think that I’m strong enough to overcome those.

But I’m tired of everything.

“Cassidy.”

I dried away my tears and stood up. “Not now, Captain.”

I turned my back at him then took a step forward. I hastily went out of the greenhouse. The dark sky greeted me as soon as I went out. Looks like the sky was sympathizing me.

“Why are you doing this?” I heard his voice. “You’re pushing me away.

Talk to me so I can understand you.”

I didn’t mutter any word. He really should stop. I shut my eyes closed and inhaled as I forcedly put away his hands on my arms.

“I’m tired,” I whispered. “Let me go please?”

He slowly let go of my arms. I lowered my gaze trying to hold back my tears. I slowly walk away from him. I stopped when I heard his voice again.

“I won’t let you go.”

I turned to him. “Stop messing with my life, Grey.”

He was caught off guard. He’s making my life harder. I am pushing him away from me because I don’t want him to get drag in my messy life.

“Just this once,” my lips quivered. “Let me be selfish.

There’s nothing left in me.”

I let the rain fall as I walked away from the guy who once became part of my life.

I covered my face with my hands as a great sob escaped my lips. My shoulders are shaking as I continue sobbing. The rain was pouring endlessly. In the middle of the pouring rain I embraced all my agony—all the pain that I’ve felt.

“Are you imitating Bella Swan from Twilight?”

I sniffed when I heard that familiar cold voice. My eyes darted to the pair of converse shoes in front of me. I lifted my head to see who it was.

“Jethro,” I couldn’t even recognize my voice.

“Yes, I am Missy.” His eyebrows furrowed. “I’m Jethro not Jacob Black.”

I look at him with confused face. My tears suddenly fall again. I bow my head down to stop it. But no matter how hard I try to hold it back; it keeps flowing.

“Why does everyone always think that I’m okay?” I looked at him with tears in my eyes. “I’m so tired of pretending.”

“Then stop pretending,” he wiped my tears. “Let me meet the real you.”

He slowly embraced me. I froze. The coldness that I feel was replaced by his warm embrace. My chest pounded like a drum. And there I found the warmth that I had been searching for.

“Take off your mask, cariño. Show me those vulnerabilities and insecurities inside you. Introduce me to your soul.”

I stared at the droplets of the rain on the window shield. He brought—no dragged me here in his car. My eyes dropped on my uniform. I shook my head. My parents are probably looking for me.

“Wear this.”

I look at Jethro who was the reason why I’m here. He was handing me a t-shirt. I arched my eyebrow at him and took it from him. I smelled his manly scent from the t-shirt that he gave. I bit my lip then gave him a look; a sign that I will change my clothes.

He looked away and turned to the opposite direction. I hurriedly take off my uniform and wore his t-shirt. It looks like dress on me because of its size.

“You done?” I heard him asked.

“Yeah,” I looked at his clothes. “Won’t you change your clothes?”

We were dripped with rain. He might catch a cold because of that. We almost stay an hour in the middle of the rain. We looked like a fool staring with each other. If I didn’t tell him that I’m cold; we are still probably there by now.

“Why?” He raised a brow. “You want to watch me?”

“Dream on.”

“Don’t be shy, Missy.”

I scoffed then folded my arms looking at him sharply. He’s so full of himself. He stared back at me making me looked away. I pursed my lips and watched the students outside the car.

I heard his deep baritone laugh. I bit my lower lip hard. He enjoys teasing me. If it’s not raining I will probably go out from his car.

You’re such a tease Captain!

“It’s really not obvious,” he chuckled. “It’s not so obvious that you find me interesting.”

My eyes grew bigger as I shifted my gaze at him. He smirked. His chest met my sight causing my face turned red. For the love of everything that is holy!

“Enjoying the view?”

I gulped then turned away quickly. I squeezed my eyes shut and muttered a curse in my mind. The air-conditioning in the car didn’t stop me from sweating.

Now, I know why girls are crazy over him. Not only does he have looks but also a great body. I bit my lips and shook my head erasing that thought. Captain really affected my whole being especially my mind.

I silently played my fingers while calming myself. I fought the urge to look at him or glance. My curiosity was telling me to look at him. Tiredness dropped on my body and I felt my eyelids getting heavier.

“Sleep,” he whispered. “I’ll just wake you up.”

I hummed as answer. Darkness pulled me as he started the engine. But before I drifted to sleep, I heard him uttered those words making my emotions tangled into thread.

“I want you to find comfort in me, Amber.”

My parents aren’t home yet when I arrived in our house. To my surprised, I was welcomed by my brother together with his long-time girlfriend. My confusion takes upon when my brother greeted Jethro like they know each other for a long time. I just bid a goodbye to him and quietly thanked him because my brother was grinning at me. His grin says it all.

“Cassy.”

My brother was crossing his arms while grinning in front of me. I arched my eyebrow at him irritated from his grin. He laughed then motioned me to sit beside him.

“You know him?” I asked.

“You guess.”

I frowned and rolled my eyes. He loves to annoy me when I’m getting curious at some things. We always argue because of that.

“Alexandrite,” I warned. “You’ll tell me or I’m going to put virus in your gadgets.”

He tsk-ed. “Blackmailer.”

“Answer me or face my wrath?”

“Say please first?”

I frowned. “Nunca en mi vida!” Never in my life!

He shook his head. He doesn’t have a choice. After all, I already destroyed his laptop because he annoyed the hell out of me when I was having my period. His laptop exploded due to the viruses that I put inside its system.

“Fine,” he sighed. “His sister is one of my friends.”

“Ok.”

“Are you interested to him?”

My forehead creased and raised a brow at him. I shook my head. He grinned like an idiot. I always think that we are not siblings. He’s crazy. He's older than me but he doesn’t act like one though.

“I want him for you.”

My eyes grew bigger. ¡Qué barbaridad! Why does he have to be this straightforward?!

“We’re both good looking, that’s why.”

“You should check your eyesight,” I pursed my lips. “It’s getting blurry.”

His lips parted and glared at me. I smirked and turned my back at him. His girlfriend laughed and teased him. I quickly run upstairs when I heard his footsteps and angry voice.

“Get back here Cassidy Amber!”

I laughed inwardly. I looked down and saw my brother glaring at me. I made a face at him before running to my room.

I was still laughing as I reached my room. Seeing my brother’s angry face is my happiness. Well, he rarely visits our house. My brother was always busy in his work as well as our parents. Alexandrite rarely go home that’s why I’m always alone here.

I understand why he’s always busy but it didn’t change the fact that I misses him. I’m used to his presence since I was a child. He’s always right there for me. He’s not just my brother but also my parent.

My attention was averted to the door; someone’s knocking. I stood up and open the door. I bit my lip when I saw my brother. He pouted and pushed the door then entered in my room.

“I just got back here and you’re bullying me,” he grunted. “Don’t you miss your handsome brother?”

I winced when he pinched my nose. “In your dreams, Alex.”

My brother sat on my bed. He look at me then motioned me to sit beside him. My eyebrows furrowed when he patted my head. That’s when I realized…he knows.

Alexandrite never fails to check me. He always make sure that I’m okay. But the most comforting feeling was…he never ask me forcedly to tell my problems.

He just wait until I unleash those.

“I know life has been hard on you,” he slowly embraced me. “But despite of those, you’re still standing.

I embraced him tightly. One by one, my tears started to fall. The feeling that I’d been keeping for a long time just exploded like a bomb. As my brother embraced me tightly, I let out a great sob and cried like a baby in his arms.

“Alex,” I sobbed. “This is so painful.”

He caressed my back then placed a kiss on my forehead. I shut my eyes tightly while crying. I buried my face on his chest. My brother was always telling me that it’s ok to cry. Because when the time comes that I didn’t know how to cry; it’ll be hard for me to let go the pain.

“I know Cassy,” he said softly. “And that’s okay.

Your pain is a blessing so ponder why it’s happening but don’t brag about your pain. The scar left will be so deep but you will know how to rise up and trust me, after that, you will be the best always.”