Chapter 0009

I fell face flat on the floor bumping my nose and my full lips on the ground. I groaned in pain.

"Oh my god I kissed the floor ..." I whined and slowly rose to my feet wincing in pain. I hissed touching my nose and a devil decided to show up just then.

I shrieked when a familiar voice talked from behind.

"Oh, I didn't mean to disturb your sweet time... with the floor.."

I turned around and looked at the person who just talked. The same person who disappeared for one whole fvcking month. I just stood there not knowing what to do or what to say, so with both my hands rubbing at my nose and lips, I watched him.

For a fact yeah, strange things happen when you see the person you like, I saw that on a poster. Guess all were true... because I was a blushing mess even before I knew what was going on with me. I never knew what it was to feel like when you liked someone. So, however, there I was being all silly. I was stupid, to begin with.

It tore down my heart when he was nowhere to be seen the day after I rejected him seriously. The sight of him walking away looking dejected tattooed in my mind and haunted me even in my dreams. It wasn't the feeling when someone feel bad for another person. But it was all because I felt the same way as he did. I had the freaking thing called 'feelings' for him.

It only took someone to knock some sense into me. And when they did, I knew I was late. With the deep piercing emptiness, I continued on living. Sometimes smiling on my remembering all the times I spent with him, sometimes a silent tear flows down my face when realizing how I lost him. It wasn't funny anymore. I realized I did have something, some tiny growing feelings towards him and I thought maybe he won't come back and we will never go back to what we were at least. I secretly wanted to.

One month passed painfully slowly. Every day felt like a dark pit of miserable feelings and thoughts. But again... there he was, standing in front of me as if nothing happened. Still with the same jokes and with the same welcoming smile.

Damn, I wanted to run into his hands and feel the comfort of his touch. My heart said so but my inner mind stopped me.

"Not funny." I scowled stomping upstairs still holding my face. It was a habit of mine to fall face flat. I used to have wounds scattered around my body when I was small. And the clumsiness never left.

"Win, I wasn't making fun of you." he quickly said following me. It was happening all over again. I was walking away from him and he was walking toward me, following me.

'Grasp what you like before it's too late'

Papa used to say those words to me as I grew up. He used to tell the same thing all over again. Every time I would always give up on my dreams he used to say the same words. So I listened to him and everything would return to normal. Those words became relatable in every incident. And right then, it was reliable too.

He followed me upstairs to the balcony. It was in the very corner of the hallway allowing about ten people to freely hang out there. I loved the place so much especially because it was calm and no one except me really came there. Whenever I wanted some time to myself I used to hang out there.

"Are you okay?" Bright asked again. His concern was too much for me. It always deeply touched my heart.

"Yes," I answered with one single word. Clasping my hands at the railing of the balcony I looked at the scenery ahead of me. It was all buildings and the sun was about to set. It was beautiful.. but it looked so sad. Just like Bright was leaving me, the sun was leaving the earth.

"Do you think the sun will disappear one day?" I asked a dumb question out of nowhere.

Bright pursed his lips and looked at me for a second;

"According to theories sun will die in the future," he replied. Bright had a vast knowledge. Not only talking about what he said but for me, he always looked like an intelligent guy with deeper knowledge about life, everything.

"Earth will be sad if the sun dies. Have you heard that Earth cries when sunsets?"

"Yeah, it was a saying said by some famous person I heard. I think it's true. Without the sun there's no light on the earth. Without the light, nothing can last long.."

"Bright."

"Yes." he turned to me, his eyes bearing into mine. I loved looking at his eyes. They shined whenever he was happy. Even when he looked sad or down there was 'life' in those. I loved that feeling. Looking at his eyes made me want to say those words which were stuck inside my mouth for a long.

"If I am earth..." I gulped muffling up my confidence. "I am earth..." I turned my whole body, facing him fully. I thought it might be a better way to start saying what I wanted to say.

" "

"Can you be my sun... if I am earth?" it came out before I could think and I surprisingly didn't stutter. I didn't regret saying those words either.

I looked at him nervous waiting for his answer. I knew he got what I just asked. It was obvious what I wanted.

I wanted him to be my light, my only light. And if the light leaves I will be sad and if the light dies I die too.

I fiddled with my fingers when one second passed. My breathing fastened when two seconds passed. I almost lost hope when five seconds passed.

"Win, is this a joke to you?" he snapped. It wasn't what I expected.

"Huh?"

"One second you sweep me away like some piece of shit! And then the other moment you give me hope?? Even after being away from you for one month I still cannot forget about you, I can't let go of you! Now I don't understand if I want to hate you or love you! Or both!"

"W-what? I never thought you were shit. A-and- it-"

"You never thought?? Well, I guess you are good at bluffing! You initiated a kiss and said it was a mistake! My whole dream was to kiss the person I love and share a lovely life with that person. And my bad! That person turned out to be you! And you called that most important moment in my life a mistake and now I am back you want me to be your sun?! What do you expect me to say??"

"Bright I-"

"No, don't say anything. You should at least tell me what insane thing is going on in your mind! Did you know what that flower shop owner told me?! He said that I've bought every kind of flower in that shop! He asked me if my lover still loves flowers! What should I say?? That person throws away every flower I give?? You just grab it like a piece of trash and put it elsewhere! You have no idea how painful it was when you say you don't like any flower I give to you! I do not expect you to love all the flowers. But you kept on playing with me asking for another kind when I bring you another."

"I have a reason Bright. I have a reason why I reject you every time! You don't know how hard it is for me even now!"

"What reason you have now? You have a lover or I am not enough for you? You never give me a direct answer and with these stupid feelings in my mind, I cannot help but chase you around like a mad man! My friends ask me why I chase a mere beta like a fool but I cannot help! I love you so much till now! Even now.."

"I..." I had never before seen him mad like that. Especially towards me. It was swollen my heart in pain that I had to see his angry side. It was all my fault, my mistake, and my doings. I hurt him way more than I thought. With his direct words, I realized how much I've hurt him all along. There was no turning back.

I choked a sob and started crying. I didn't like to cry in front of others. I always cried alone because it was embarrassing to show my weaknesses in front of others. But at that moment I couldn't help but break apart and cry aloud. Gasping for air I cried. My fingers continuously wiped the flowing tears but more flowed down. As expected his hands came to my vision. They wiped away my tears. I leaned into his touch and rested my head on his chest.

Everything was a mess.

I didn't know for how many minutes or hours I cried. The sun said goodbye and the view made me cry even harder. Sun was leaving earth! Bright didn't stop murmuring, it's okay, calm down and I am here soothingly to my ears. I did stop crying but my hiccups didn't stop.

"I am sorry." I muffled out.

"It's okay. It's all fine."

"It's not." I sniffled. I had millions of things to say but it was really hard to say. And for the first time, I felt what Bright felt. He confessed and flirted showing full confidence always but I knew deep in, he was fighting his nervousness. And it made me feel even worse.

"I swear..." I started. "I hurt you... but not intentionally..."

"I get that you have no feelings for me. I am sorry too, I snapped at you now. Please don't think I am forcing you."

"No, no. I have."

"Hmm?" he broke the hug looking at me confused. His warm hands slid up to my cheeks and trapped my face between their hands. It made me even more nervous. I wanted to give up but the timing was so perfect.

'Now or never' I thought.

"I have feelings for you!" his eyes lit. "But-"

"T-there's a but?" he asked, the shine dimming down.

"I cannot... date you." his eyebrows creased down and made to a frown and looked at me with a confused gaze.

"Win... that's absurd! I mean, you have feelings for me but... we cannot date?" he asked me again but his voice raised.

"I-I have reasons."

"What reasons?" he gritted his teeth and the grip on my face loosened and his hands dropped.

"Goodness, I can't tell you the reason! You won't accept that."

"Win, I want to be in a relationship with you. It's all about understanding. I want to know everything about you. I will accept everything about you because I love you. I love you for who you are."

"I can't. I would rather not be with you than tell you the reason." I mumbled out without thinking. My words did feel like spatting venom. But I didn't want him to know who I really was.

"Fine," he muttered. My heartfelt heavy again. I wanted him the same way he wanted me. And I knew I won't be able to live anymore if he rejects me... if he gets to know I was an omega.

"You, don't have to tell me your fvcking reason." I flinched at the curse. He had that side too. His mad side was kind of scary.

"Listen to me Win." his hands suddenly grabbed my waist locking me so I couldn't move. I tried to look everywhere but him but finally I had to look at him because of the piercing gaze he had on me.

"Y-yes."

"We are dating each other from now on. And I will make you fall for me harder. You won't even be able to have these arrogant thoughts and you will be trapped with me forever!"

" "

"And one day Win... you will tell me your reason with your mouth! AND you will be my mate. Only mine."

I could only look at him all flustered.