"I'll be lying to myself if I'll say no."
I continued walking subsequently till I reached the library's exit. Doon na ako tuluyang nakahinga ng maluwag. Nanghihina ang tuhod ko at parang hinigop ang natitirang lakas ng buong katawan ko.This is the first time we talked to each other after Senior Ball. It felt so awkwardly odd and uncomfortable. I couldn't blame the atmosphere since the gap between us isn't that easy to fix for now.I came back from cogitating as I felt the vibration in my pocket. Kinuha ko ang cellphone ko at laglag ang panga habang nakapako ang tingin sa text mula kay Jishu.Jishu:Huh? What foods? Wala akong dalang pagkain kanina nang makita kita sa library.Ako:Hindi ba sa'yo galing ang isang plastik ng pagkain na nakapatong sa upuan ko? May note pang nakalagay.Jishu:Slaine, I don't know what you're talking about. What plastic? What note? I left because I don't to disturb you anym"Mareng Slaine, ang ganda mo dito oh!" Ani Jangkit saka pinakita ang pinost ko sa social media."Maganda lang siguro ang lighting."Bumusangot siya sa sagot ko at mahina hinila ang buhok ko. Napadaing ako at nang makabawi ay dahan dahan kong hinagod ang ulo. "So, required manakit kapag masama ang loob?" May bahid ng sarkasmo ang boses ko."Bias ng photographer ng mga babae, mabulunan sana siya ng marshmallows." Rinig kong bulong niya. Umismid siya at ibinalik ang atensiyon sa hinahawakang cellphone.Napailing ako at ibinalik ang tingin kila Crezst sa harapan. Nanatili kami doon sa gym hanggang sa natapos sila Crezst at nagyaya si Dani na umuwi na.Kinabukasan ay maaga akong nagising para maghanda ng agahan. Today's our Graduation Day. Sila Nanay at Tatay ay naghahanda narin dahil pareho silang dadalo sa pagtatapos ni Shey ngayong umaga.I also want to attend her moving up but I have to prepare myself for later. They got
"Nakapagdesisyon ka na ba kung saan ka mag-aaral ng college?"Napabuntong-hininga ako sa tanong ni Helen. Nakaupo kami ngayon sa bleachers ng open gym at kaming lima lang ang narito. Nanonood kami ng praktis ng basketball nina Dom, Lowell at iba pang manlalaro para sa Sports Fest ngayong Miyerkules."Hindi ko pa nga alam," pagtatapat ko at sabay inilapag ang plastic envelope na ang nilalaman ay mga importanteng papel ko at card. "I'm trying to reconsider PSU and SAC, but I do think WeSaS is the preferable choice.""Doon ka nalang sa Aklan State University, Slaine. Para magkasama tayo! Pwede ka namang maka-avail ng scholarship mula kay Mayor.""Ikaw Dani, saan ka mag-aaral?" Lumingon si Crezst sa kaniya."Luluwas na kasi kami ng Manila ngayong darating na May at hindi ko pa alam kung saan ako mag-aaral. Siguro sa UP Diliman, basta kung anong university lang ang malapit sa lugar namin doon."I heaved a sigh after realizing things.
"May kailangan ka pa?" Diretsahan kong tanong."Uhm nothing..." He spoke lowly. "Just wanna invite to eat something outside the campus."Pinasadahan ko siya ng tingin. Rafus is wearing a basketball jersey and his hair is a bit damp of sweats. Nakasukbit sa kanang balikat niya ang bag. Natigilan ako sa hydro flask na nakalagay sa bulsa ng bag niya... iyon ang iniregalo ko sa kaniya noong Christmas party... Ang araw kung saan ako nag-umpisang umasa sa kaniya dahil sa pagganti niya sa yakap ko.Napaiwas ako ng tingin at tumikhim. "I have work to do so I can't accept your invitation.""Just for twenty minutes... no, fifteen minutes will do. Can you spare me some of your time?" His voice fills with expectancy and eyes sparkles in plea."With that clothes?" I hesitatingly asked him but the moment I saw him smirked, probably giving my words a different meaning, I rolled my eyes at him. "Eat something with yourself! You're not a kid anymore so yo
Nagpatuloy ang laro hanggang sa natapos ang unang quarter at lamang ang team namin. Napalingon ako kay Crezst nang bahagya niya akong siniko ng mahina. May ininguso siya dahilan para mapatingin ako roon."She wants the crowd to notice her," she flatly uttered.I saw Mejia handing a towel to Lowell. She's wearing a tank top and denim skirt, her hair is straight and shiny behind her back. "Hindi naman siguro," I lowly said. Giving a little benefit of the doubt."I'm sure, she will nag Lowell... na makipagbalikan sa kaniya. Knowing that Mejia, she's thirsty for fame and Lowell's famous, so she wants to leech with him to fill her cup."Natahimik ako sa sinabi ni Crezst at napatingin muli sa baba. It seems that Lowell is forcing himself to accept the towel. Maybe, he didn't expect it to happen. It's been months since I last saw them talking to each other. I'm not updated in Lowell's activities so I'm not certain of the real score between him
I really want to curse myself and bash my head to the wall! After those words he said that day, my mind was completely baffled!I just don't know what to do anymore. If shutting those shivering feelings effective or just worsen the circumstances! I feel that his words has magic and keeps enchanting me day by day! I hate this! It feels like my old vulnerable self is resurrecting!My confusion intensified when I've got to see him play. It was two days after the confrontation between us. I tried hard to not look at him on the game but every time I turned to his direction, I always met his intense eyes and lips which eventually crept into a smirk.Palaging iyon ang laging ganap kapag pinipinilit ako nina Jangkit na manood ng laro nila. Well, I couldn't deny the fact that I'm impress with his skill in basketball. He's in good team with good schemes, no wonder the gap between their team to others are understandable."Dali na, Slaine. Kailangan
That basketball match is the last time I've encounter with Rafus. May came, which is his birth month, I became very busy in processing my papers for college registration and entrance examination that I couldn't get to greet him a happy birthday on his day.I couldn't believe I'm all alone now. I still can't accept it. Umalis na ng Antique ang mga kaibigan ko kamakailan para asikasuhin ang mga papel at para kumuha ng entrance exam sa unibersidad na papasukan nila.It sucks to say good bye but I have to accept it. In order to grow, I have to depend no one but myself. I will either succeed or try another chance to prove myself.I've come to decide to stay here in WeSaS, it's convenient. Bakit pa ako lalayo kung maayos at advantageous namang mag-aral dito? I admit that it isn't easy to adjust in my first year. Nasanay ako na kasama ko ang barkada kaya medyo nakakapanibago. My college life is peaceful, I gain some new friends but it's incomparable with my six b
I spent my vacant time in secluded and quiet place at the back of our campus. There's a tree here and an old stone bench. I settled myself and place my bag beside me."What now?" I asked to myself while staring from away.Reflecting on what just happened yesterday, it only causes my heart to feel a heavy burden. I guess I'll just get concern for Shey in a low-key way."Mind if I sit here beside you?"Napanganga ako at hindi agad nakabawi. Sinamantala niya ang pagkakataon na iyon para makaupo sa tabi ko. He glanced at me and a small smile made its way on his lips."Rafus..." I barely uttered his name, my eyes were pinned on his. "What are you doing here? Don't you have class?"He remained looking at me and I almost jolted when his finger trailed my hair that covers my face and putted it behind my ear."I was just walking around then I saw you here. I don't have class right now, maybe after one or two hours I'll have one."
What Helen said shocked my whole sanity. I didn't get to sleep well last night because of anxiousness that she might do something to herself.Basing her voice and her words, I feel like she's depressed and frustrated. Knowing her parents, they aren't likely to tolerate what had happened to their precious daughter. Only me and Crezst knew about this and I couldn't imagine what will happen once her parents finds out that she's pregnant.Kung malapit lang siguro ako sa kaniya ay pwede ko agad siyang daluhan at aluin, pero ilang kilometro ang layo ko at hindi naman ako basta bastang makaalis dahil may mga responsibilidad ako sa paaralan, sa trabaho, at sa bahay."I've been calling you several times last night, who did you talked to?" Natauhan ako nang maamoy ang pamilyar na pabango na minsang ko nang nakaadikan. Napaangat ako ng tingin at ang iritado na Rafus ang nakasalubong ko."What's with that reaction? And why do you care if I'm talking to someone over the phone?" I raised my voice