I was hoping that my guilt would sooner leave me so that I could enjoy the time I had left with Liv, my girlfriend has been here for almost 3 days and it was just stressful and not fun at all.. The only time we had fun was the day she arrived here but it also started a bit rough. I was tired.I opened my eyes and smiled a little when I noticed I was cuddled up to my girlfriend and she was still fast asleep.I had no idea what to do. Tawny was going to be discharged from the hospital today and I didn't know if we should go get her or what.Olivia was the best and she was there for Tawny as much as she was there for me. But I was lost a bit, I had no idea what to do. When it came to things with Tawny, I was wondering if Olivia would see it the other way if I were to initiate us fetching her from the hospital... Would I do anything that would make her question my love for her? For us... Because in honesty she knew I cared about Tawny too."if looks could kill... I'd be long dead right no
"okay... I'm here, so save me the bullshit of excuses and just tell me why you're doing this?" she said and I looked at my girlfriend. I wasn't sure if I should say something or she was going to take that. But I didn't have to wonder for long because she responded to that quickly making me smile, "excuses? Last time I checked we never said we have any excuses. We just love each other. That's it." Tawny laughed sarcastically, "love each other? Please.."I cleared my throat, "I think you have insulted me it's enough Tawny."She laughed, "this is not an insult. I mean what is this? You two? Really?" " okay... It might come as a shock to you but it's not to us. I mean can we sit down and offer you something to drink before we get into this. There's a few things I'd like to say to you." We all walked further in to the couch. It was weird seeing Tawny with a sling helping her hand to balance her wrist. But since she broke it this was it. I wondered how long it was going to take her to h
When Liv left I felt a little bit out of balance. At first I was mad that what I heard about Tawny not wanting me forever got me hurt like I was supposed to care what she wanted in her future.Then it had me questioning everything and even my future. I wasn't getting younger at all. Sooner I'd be turning 26 and things were still a bit fuzzy on my way forward.That gave me motivation though. While I was concentrating on my work during the day later when I got home I'd watch videos of galleries so I could see what mine could bring that was different. Then talk to Liv as she helped me get a place at home.I'd try to paint a little bit. I changed my bedroom and created a corner where I could paint freely.Olivia on the other hand was doing her thing so well that they were going to open in two months. I was so proud of her.'so... You have a mail sent to you.' she said on the other side of the phone and I smiled, "what did you send? Your undies?? "She laughed, 'I forgot what an idiot you
"so how does it feel?""what?""being back and knowing that you're back for good...?"I smiled at my sister, "it feels amazing... A bit weird but I'm looking forward to finishing off what I started."My sister rested her hand on my shoulder and gave me a squeeze before she went back to cutting the tomatoes. It was so weird seeing her cook but she said she wanted to cook for me as soon as I was back, so tonight was it. "me too little sister.. Just so you know I'm really proud of you and what you have accomplished okay. I can't wait to make noise about your opening also. I am ready to be that annoying proud big sister.""good to know... But we have to talk about the staying arrangements now that back for good."She laughed, "wanna move in with Olivia I see."I shook my head, "Olivia and I are finishing a whole year in two weeks and we haven't talked about that. I mean I don't oppose it, but still... We haven't talked about it and I won't suggest it knowing she might say no.""because s
"what the fuck did you just say?" the words slowly escaped my mouth as I couldn't control myself.That had my sister arched her brow at me, "watch your mouth Amora.." "how can I fucking watch my mouth when you can't watch how many people you sleep with..!!""Princess...!!" Olivia budged in, "please... Please don't start this."I didn't want to, but hearing Paris say that just made me so mad. It was bringing back every single thing she ever did before she met her girlfriend. It pissed me off how she was ready to just throw off what she had because she was insecure... Worse after everything that she put her ex girlfriends in."if I were you I would listen to Olivia. Because if you utter one more shit you'll regret it.""no I won't... Because here you are being soooo stupid. You think sex fixes everything.. Well news flash it doesn't, because it ruins you more than the million people you sleep with."Shs smiled, "okay miss perfect.. Keep on insulting me."I looked at Olivia, "I'm tellin
I was excited and couldn't wait for the opening that was in two a week, but I still had one task to do. Make all Liv's friends agree to coming.. And I needed Tawny there to help convince them since she was already coming. So normally during the day when Liv was out making things happen and organizing things. I was painting and also getting my shit ready for the gallery because I wanted to open it in a year.On the other hand, my one year anniversary was coming with Liv and I had no idea what to do for her. I noticed though on the invite that our anniversary is the same day she is going to be opening her surgical center. So I knew she will be busy and I needed to plan something for after that. Paris and I were okay I guess, we hardly talked for the past two days... Okay, I was still mad and she was shy about what she did and apparently felt very bad. "so when will you talk to Paris... Like really talk..?" my girlfriend asked getting dressed and I sighed and covered my naked body wit
I watched her as she sat in front of the mirror and looked at herself. I didn't know if she was having a moment or what. She smiled a bit and looked at her hands, they were shaking a bit. Then she turned and looked at the mirror again, then I watched as tears started waltzing down her face.. I got out bed coz I knew then that I might be needed. I went to sit next to her. I took her hands in mine and let her rest her head on my shoulder. She trembled a bit and I put my other hand over her shoulder and kept her close to me. I didn't want to talk until she was ready to. I figured she needed this. God knows how long she wanted this, she has literally talked about it since she was in high school. Now it was happening. I knew I'd be like this too. The past two to almost three months were also this much. She was working so hard without taking a break making sure that everything was perfect for today. It made me smile that she was going to have to breathe a little bit. I held on as she w
I went back to art as soon as we were done and I was not working towards meeting my goal or even doing the opening before hand.Met up with up coming artists and checked their work so I could sign a few.I also met up with one lesbian who was very talented but didn't have a platform to show her work, only online.I made a pitch to her and promised her that she will get the recognition she deserved because she was truly talented.The building was coming together. And next week they were going to put decorations in. I was very sure I'd have to open before the year. Being here and actually doing this myself was helping.The first three months Liv was working non stop, which was what had me buried to work too and also was good because I got things done.In 5 months I was done with everything, they were now planning on moving the painting in."oh my God princess you did not fucking do all this in 5 months." my girlfriend's voice surprised me from behind me.I quickly turned around and ran
After the talk I had with Luna I knew I needed to do a deeper introspection on myself so that I could move forward fully like I had been advised.You know life was really hard to get. It's not like I had never been through something like this before. I have lost a loved one before. My parents, but then I guess it was different somehow because I knew with them I couldn't replace them even with any person that wanted to take the parent role in my life, somehow they could never be what my parents were, they could never give birth to me... But when it came to a partner. It was so scary. Letting go of Olivia meant opening up to someone else and being that vulnerable again. It meant forgetting what she and I shared and living with this other human being. The thought of that scared me and it also made me feel uneasy. Liv meant the world to me, and moving on fully felt like saying goodbye forever.But Luna was telling the truth. I needed to admit that she was no more so I could live my life.
After the letter my life seemed to have hit a whole full stop. Everything stopped and I started to question it all.What on earth was going on. And what was the conversation between Tawny and Olivia the day before her death.I couldn't believe that two years down the line I was still asking myself the same question. I literally asked her this before she passed away and she just couldn't tell me.. Then now this surfaces two years later.. Well, maybe if I had read the letter earlier it was going to appear then, but still I wasn't ready to read the letter back then."so what are you thinking?""I don't know... Lots of people now want to be associated with me because business is booming. Could we meet the three artists and see if they are really worth it so I can decide if I really want another gallery or just a whole new idea coz it just hit me..""as much as I love the business you and how much you're so concentrating on that.. I actually wasn't talking about that. I meant the thoughts
Today we would be dating for 3 full years.. It was one and a half year since she passed away.. But it was our anniversary. I stupidly got the reminder from my calender and now I was in my apartment looking for something I didn't know. I felt like I was going to lose my mind had I not found it... whatever it was."hey... Amora." Tawny said behind me and I quickly turned to her, "what are you doing here?" I snapped and she looked at me confused, "you texted me. It didn't make sense so I came here to make sure that you were okay."I turned around, "I'm looking for something okay.. Just... Just please.." I left my sentence short and went to my kitchen and opened and closed every drawer."Mimi..." Tawny said and I turned around to her and yelled, "don't... You don't fucking get to call me that. Not after everything you have put me through. You don't get to call me by a pat name."She looked ate so confused... And then I saw her face soften. She shook her head a bit and walked towards me.W
Helping Luh plan for her wedding felt like I was doing it for me. She wanted things I felt I'd have wanted and I was enjoying every moment of it.So when I finally saw the end product, I could not be happier at that moment. I felt so proud of myself and where I've become. I looked around the room, I couldn’t believe that I was the best woman or should I say maid of honor for my best friend’s wedding, especially after everything that had went down in the past two years and us splitting up a little bit. I never thought that I would experience this at all. But I felt so blessed to be here. Her husband looked so out of place in a black taxedo that had a little split on the back instead of the fireman’s suit that he was accustomed to wearing everyday at work. He looked way more cute by the way. My mind took me down the memory lane when I saw my best friend. I had met her many years ago when she joined the same primary school as I, and now I was given the honor of being her maid of hono
I was really shocked when the following day arrived and my name wasn't being smeared on the internet about the incident that happened at Kiddies with Tawny. But then again I guess what she said really got to those people and they didn't post about it. And since the talk in the car, my relationship with Tawny was still okay, she was still herself which was what I loved but she respected me and my decision not to cross any boundaries.In two days though, she was going to be out of rehab and she was going to be back in the real world. That kinda made me happy, she has made such a big progress."hey dude... Have you called my make up artist?" that was Luna freaking out again and I sighed, "just because you ask 4 times it won't change.. Yes I did.. Now stop worrying. You're getting married in 3 days."She smiled, "oh my God what if this is the biggest mistake of my life. We've only known each other for a little less than two years. I can't be very sure about him right now. I can't marry t
I got out of the dress and folded it then put it on the chair before wearing my clothes. I was starting to get mad. I felt like I was betraying Olivia. So whatever happened made me feel guilty. Like how could she not think, I just lost Olivia a few months ago. Now she wanted to step in. I wanted to support her and make sure she was okay or at least let her know that she had a friend in me. But she wasn't paying attention to that, she thought more could come out of this. "Amora look, I'm sorry." Tawny said joining me, she was now fully dressed back to her clothes...and I ignored her and finished up what I was doing."Amora please talk to me.""and say what?"She's shrugged, "I don't know... Anything.""I have nothing to say.""well I do. I'm not sorry for attempting to kiss you coz I didn't do that by mistake... But I'm just sorry I made you uncomfortable."I shook my head, she had no idea how she made me feel. Uncomfortable wasn't even close to describing it."Amora...""you made me
Moving back to my place wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. It just had so many memories I was terrified of revisiting.I hated it so much but I knew I had to do it. I couldn't live at Paris's place forever.. And I couldn't sell this place either, a lot of good things happened here. So I wasn't going to allow the same memories that made me happy to push me to get rid of my place.I'd literally feel her presence or feel like she'd walk in. Being back there made her death so real. A knock on the door would have me expecting her. The calls we used to have on her night shift. How I'd wake up with food or with her cuddling me. All that made me come to terms with the fact that she wasn't here anymore. She was gone. I sighed and shifted the matras in my bedroom. Like I said, I needed to clean this place. Luna was downstairs helping me. After full two hours I was done in my bedroom and it felt like it was all new. Maybe it was the new bedsheets, curtains and blankets I bought. I smile
"do you know where Tawny is? I mean she said she'll be at my wedding but she disappeared. No one knows where she is." Luna asked walking in with a bag full of groceries. I quickly got up and ran to her to help, "couldn't you just tell me you had plastic bags so I can get you... Is it everything?" "it's fine I asked you a question. Do you know where she is?"I didn't know why she was pressing on this."why would I know?"She shrugged, "I don't know. I just don't want her to not come to my wedding after promising she will. The Media is busy eating her up and making up stories about her going crazy since the outburst at your opening."I sighed, this was what I hated about the media. The ability to make one and also break them. It was just too much. "yeah I hate the media dude. Stop listening to it. Tawny will come to your wedding. What did you want her to do?""I don't know..." she said with another shrug, "maybe her to learn my steps so that she can dance.. By the way you and her are
When Tawny was ready, like I promised, I took her to rehab and dropped her off. "thank you for doing this." she said. I gave her a small smile and decided to joke a little, "it's not a big deal. I just wanted to make sure you really come here you know."She smiled a bit and just looked at me. She looked as if there was something she wanted to say but couldn't. She then shook her head and that's when I knew that she definitely stopped herself from saying what she wanted to say. So I asked," what? "She continued to shake her head no, "umh. Naah, Amora you've already done enough. I can't burden you with me and all my shit.""hey... Besides me joking about bringing you here so I could know you are really here.. I came because I wanted and I wanted you to know that you have support. So I am here, talk to me about anything. It's not a burden at all." She nodded her head a little bit before saying," so... Incase anything happens to me. I want you to know that... "My eyes shot wide open