Chapter 5 - This Town Won't Kill Me

Liam

As soon as he batted those pools of honey at me, I was done for. How could I resist the captain of the football team when he was in begging mode? Wait, so Asher was struggling with his schoolwork? I’ve seen him in class, he never used to get poor grades.

Wonder what changed this year? Oh, well. I’m sure I’ll have plenty of time to find out while I tutor him. I rounded the corner to my house and pulled into the driveway, thinking about Asher and why he would possibly come to me when he had a girlfriend who was just as smart as I was. Hmm.

Stop it, Liam! He’s straight!

On top of keeping my GPA to an acceptable level, I now had to worry about helping Asher keep his grades up. Would I be able to do it, though? I’ve never had to tutor someone before and now I would be alone with a guy who makes me so nervous I could barely think… A guy who stands by idly while his friends are abusing their peers.

Did Asher honestly think that by not taking part in the bullying made him innocent? He’s just as guilty as them because if he really wanted to, he could stop the abuse. He’s the fucking star quarterback. They would listen to him no matter what. Would things be different now, because I was helping Asher?

I need to stop overthinking. Getting out of my car, I run up to my porch when I suddenly feel something hard and wet hit my face.

“Faggot!” Laughter, then more wetness hits my face as a car speeds away. I remove my glasses with blurred vision and a long sigh escapes my chest. The smell of raw egg had me gagging, so I ran towards my door before anyone could see my shame.

Guess that answers my previous question then.

Today was… worse than others. It’s funny because Dale, Brock, and Matthew came to me last Spring Break to experiment, and yet at school, they acted as if being gay was disgusting. I know they were probably not gay and leaned more towards the bi side of things, but still. The fact that I was nothing more than that cut deep.

I cannot wait to move out of this damn town. Just a few more months, Liam. Stick it out and spit in their faces when you leave this town.

It can’t be helped, I guess. What the hell was I expecting, exactly? That everyone would start treating me like a normal person just because the star quarterback asked for my help? Oh, that’s right, no one is even supposed to know I’m helping him. Sighing, I open my front door and make a beeline for my room.

Why did I have to be so damn proud of my sexuality? If I had kept it hidden, they would all leave me alone. But then again, when I kept it hidden, my mental health was in a serious decline so I need to stop being such a drama queen (pun not intended) and suck it up. In just a few more weeks, I will leave this fucking town behind and start a new life. Screw these backward-thinking folk.

Ew, though. I need to get out of these clothes before my mom gets home and sees my shame. She’s a doctor and always working long hours at the hospital, but sometimes she pops in for an hour’s snooze then heads back to work. This was one of the reasons my father left, or so he says - I looked him up a few months ago and he’s remarried with a kid. Yeah, men can be assholes.

Turning on the shower, I strip off the egg-scented clothes and when I turn around to gently remove my glasses I get the shock of my fucking life in the mirror; a swollen and bruised nose, and blue underneath both my eyes. Gah, how am I going to explain this to my mother?! She’s going to freak! Wait, wait - volleyball. We had volleyball for PE and I got socked in the nose. She’ll believe that. Hm.

I get into the shower, intending on scrubbing this god-awful day away when my mind drifts to Asher again. Ugh, why did he have to be so damn sexy, though? Was there some sort of manual God followed when he made quarterbacks?

Damn it, I would have to seriously get my hormones in check when he’s over here from tomorrow. Just because half his team mates are in the closet, doesn’t mean he swings this way as well.

Ah, a boy can dream, though.

After I finish up in the shower, I throw on my comfort sweats and a t-shirt before running towards the kitchen for a snack, then get back to my homework.

“LIAM!” I hear my mother shout before I walk into the kitchen and I couldn’t help but smile; she was home already and probably wanted coffee, I could tell. I walk back to her room and knock once before peeking in.

“Yes, mother dearest?” I ask her in my best put on British accent.

“Oh, be a doll and make your mummy some coffee, please?” She asks, returning my jest in her own put-on accent. This was our thing. It was silly, but it was ours. I giggle, “Coming right up, mom-“

“WOAH WOAH WOAH!” she exclaims when she sees me and jumps out of bed, ripping open her bedroom door all the way. She takes my face in her hands and my heart drops. Fuck, I forgot about the bruises.

“Where did this come from? Do I have to make a scene at your school?” She asks, and I feel completely mortified!

“Oh, my god mom, NO!” I cry out and walk backward. “It happened in PE, volleyball.” The white lie slips out easier than I expected. She frowns and takes a step backward, crossing her arms.

“Are you sure?” she asks, and I nod. “Yes, I promise it's nothing. Now, let me go make this coffee, or would you like to make your own since you’re out of bed now?” I tease, and she sprints back to her bed, hiding under the covers.

I shake my head and chuckle before heading back into the kitchen to brew her a pot of coffee. When I came out to her a year ago, she didn’t seem surprised at all. “A mom knows,” was all she replied with after wiping my tears away. She’s the best mom I could ever have hoped to get, and loved me regardless of my sexuality.

The town, though, treats me like a pariah, whereas they love her to bits. I don’t mind because I prefer being on my own, anyway. Who needs friends when you have a career to think about? Speaking of career, I intend to follow in her footsteps and walk the medical field as well.

When I was 5 years old, I saw her literally save a baby’s life and I haven’t felt the same since. She managed to flip the parents’ emotions from dread to happiness in the space of fifteen minutes, and I remember feeling pride right to my core. I wanted to do that too; I wanted to make people happy like that; I wanted to save lives.

My mother, of course, was proud of the fact that I wanted to be like her and guided me in all the right directions.

This is why I never allowed myself to fail. No matter how badly I got bullied and put down; my career and future are more important than some hick town and their bullies. And what do you know? I succeeded! Three major schools want me for full-ride scholarships, and you know what it made me realise?

I won. Despite the bullies, peer pressure, beatings, abandonment, and fear - I won and this town can fuck itself with a spiked dildo.

Gathering a coffee cup, sugar, cream on a tray and some cookies on a plate. I walk to my mother’s room and notice that she’s passed out again.

I chuckle, “Mother! Tea and scones!” I exclaim, and she nearly jumps out of her skin.

“Jesus Christ, Liam! Could you be any louder?!” she cries out and rubs her temples, causing me to giggle even more. I walk around and sit on the bed next to her and hand her the tray.

“Rough evening?” I ask, noting the dark bags underneath her eyes, and she nods.

“The worst so far, but I’ll be fine. We saved some lives, that’s what matters.” She says. We might live in a small town, but she works out in the city on some days as well. The casualty ward, more specifically.

“Don’t be too hard on yourself, okay?” I say and rub her shoulders before getting up and kissing her forehead.

She nods, “Love you, my Lee.”

“Love you too, mom,” I reply and head out to the kitchen for a snack before focusing on my homework. We might not have it all, but at least we had one another.