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Chapter 13 - Anxiety and Other Friends
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2024-10-29 19:42:56Related chapters
Enduring Liam: A High School BL Novel Chapter 14 - Fighting An Inner War
Asher “Yo, what the fuck, Prince? You let that sweet ass just dip out on you?” Dale comments as we get ready for practice. I shrug, pushing on my gear. “Shit was getting stale; maybe some new pussy will get me more motivated,” I say to a gaggle of jeers from the team. Becoming the asshole jock was an easy role to slip into lately, especially since my team saw me picking on Liam and beating up the other queer, Jason. I seemed to have gained their respect more, which is sickening if you ask me. Fuck it, and it’s only for a few more months, then I’ll be out of this fucking place. Dale moves closer and slings an arm over my shoulder. “So if we had to, you know, fuck at the bonfire, would there be any hard feelings between us?” He asks, asshole that he is, but I just flash him a grin. “Have at it, make sure she sucks your dick first, though. She’s a genius with her mouth,” I say and see his eyes widen. He didn’t expect my answer, but he clapped me on the back anyway, grinning like a f
Enduring Liam: A High School BL Novel Chapter 15 - Prince Falls
Liam All I want to do is be left alone. Couldn’t they fucking see that? Or do they get off on my misery? Dale and his gang of closeted assholes got me as I walked to my car, clocking me one in the nose before I could even register what was happening. Walking away and jeering, they left me alone with a bleeding nose and nursing my wounded pride. The best part of all was when I got home; Asher was there pretending to care about me and see if I was hurt. Can’t these months pass by without me having to wonder if I make it out alive? Can’t I just catch a fucking break? After I clean myself up, I remove my glasses and walk toward my bed, breathing out a sigh as I sit down and try to level my anxiety. I didn’t want to cry, not like this, while I had the King of Assholes sitting in my kitchen, waiting for me to tutor him. My life fucking sucked. A knock comes from the door; it’s probably my mother coming to check on me, so I get up and walk towards the door. “Liam, are you okay?” I am a
Enduring Liam: A High School BL Novel Chapter 16 - Conniving Teammates
Asher **HOMOPHOBIC SLURS** Am I gay? Am I fucking bi? I tested this theory last night by watching porn, and by the end of the night, I’ve come to this conclusion: I still don’t fucking know. The normal porn got me hard, but I found myself looking at the guy’s dick entering the chick more than the actual fucking chick. The gay porn, on the other hand, had me exploding within a few fucking pumps of my fist. Ah, fuck it. I admitted to Liam how I felt and didn’t feel any better about it either. It was a bitter pill to swallow, admitting I had these urges that I know I’m not supposed to have. It’s not that girls disgust me, but I’ve always been bored while fucking them. They keep me entertained for a little while, then as soon as the novelty wears off, my dick goes limp. Fuck, I will really need to think about this - or talk to a fucking shrink. Everything seemed to go by in a blur throughout the school day, and before I knew it, it was time to practice. We file into the locker rooms, a
Enduring Liam: A High School BL Novel Chapter 17 - Date Night
Liam I’ve been pacing my floor for the last half an hour, nerves eating the last remnants of my sanity. Not only did the football team not even look my way today, but it was Friday - date night with Jason. After what’s happened with Asher, I can’t even look my own boyfriend in the face anymore. What the hell is wrong with me? The moment I get a boyfriend, I go and cheat on him. Not that it was my fault! Ah, fuck. I walk to my bed and sit down, hanging my head in my hands. Tonight will be fine, and it’s not like it’s my first date with a guy - oh, wait, yes, it is. Crap, I need to calm down. So I take a deep breath and leave my room, but just as I do, my cell phone rings. When I look at the caller ID, I see it’s Jason. “Hey,” I answer, attempting to sound okay and managing to keep the quiver from my voice. “I’m outside, babe,” he replies, causing my heart to leap at the ‘babe’ nickname. “I’ll be right out,” Locking the door behind me, I walk up to Jason’s truck with a smile on my
Enduring Liam: A High School BL Novel Chapter 18: After Effects
**TRIGGER WARNING - SEXUAL ASSAULT*** Liam Ugh, fuck. My head hurts. I sit up in my bed, holding my throbbing head with one hand and trying to open my eyes, but this room is too damn bright. When I eventually open my eyes, I grab my cell phone from my bedside table to check the time. 9 AM! I am fucking late for school! As soon as I jumped out of bed, I immediately regretted it because my headache blinded me for a few seconds. “Woah, what the f….” I trail off, holding my head in my hands. Where did this headache come from? I walk towards my bathroom and notice my clothes strewn all over the bathroom floor. The heck? My jeans get my attention, and then flashes of memory return. Wait, I went out on a date with Jason last night, didn’t I? We went to watch a movie, then had a little picnic in the bed of his truck, we had champagne, things got a bit heavy…. Then what? How did I end up at home? We definitely did some exploring from the pain in my lower back and butt, but how could I n
Enduring Liam: A High School BL Novel Chapter 19 - Ohio State
Asher 11 am Saturday and a full day of hitting the gym. Last night I overindulged on Capitals and beer, and today I’m fucking feeling it. I’m not usually a big fast food eater, fuck I probably only prefer my mom’s cooking. But last night, I needed to bring a bit of camaraderie to the team again, and I think it worked. It also helped that Liam wasn’t available to tutor me, which actually worked out great. Mama Jane’s was packed as usual and didn’t mind our rowdy bunch in the back. In fact, I think it drew in more customers. Everyone loved the football team, even if we were all a bunch of assholes. This was the only place that would serve us beer and get away with it - only because my dad fucking owns the business. So here I am, up since 5 am and pumping iron as if my life depended on it. “Asher!” I hear my old man call and immediately feel fear grip my chest. This man had the means to make me feel extremely small, and right now, I did not want to face him. But I knew ignoring him w
Enduring Liam: A High School BL Novel Chapter 20 - Falling, Fallen
Asher A few hours later, I was back in my room, pacing the floor and waiting for an answer. I texted Liam just before we left, but he still has not answered my question. It was 8 pm now, and I knew that he and his mom would have had dinner by now. After a few more minutes, I made up my mind and grabbed the keys to my truck and headed out. My dad wouldn’t be back until tomorrow since he had to stay overnight at OSU, so fuck my curfew. It took me fifteen minutes to pull up a block away from Liam’s place. I did this because my truck would have let him know that I was outside, not because of who would see it. When I get to his house, I go around the back, but not into the kitchen; I head to Liam’s room. Luckily, he didn’t have a two-storey house, so knocking on his window was easier than sneaking into Fallon’s room. A movement by his curtain catches my attention, so I knock again. His curtain moves back slightly, and his face scans the backyard; and I notice that he has a terrified loo
Enduring Liam: A High School BL Novel Chapter 21 - Retribution?
Liam Asher’s admission the other night still brings a smile to my face. The fucking quarterback liked me and wanted us to start something but wouldn’t push me about it. He held me as I broke down in front of him and stayed with me until I fell asleep; I could still smell his yummy cologne on my pillow the day afterwards. We text every day, but he doesn’t come over; I think it’s to give me some space, and I honestly appreciated that so much. I would be over the damn moon if it weren’t for this constant sadness and anxiety. I know I am being a complete coward by hiding out here at home, but I don’t think I’m ready to face Jason yet. He will probably deny the entire thing, so I’m not even going to bother. Maybe I should just get up and face the world; God knows staying cooped up in here won’t help me. An hour later, I am driving into the Waterford High parking lot with my heart sitting in my chest. It’s lunchtime now, so hopefully, the teachers won’t be too upset with me for showing u
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Enduring Liam: A High School BL Novel Silk Vow: A Transgender Love Story
Seth When Asher Prince asked me to be his girlfriend back in high school, I thought it would finally end these fucked up feelings inside of me. I was head cheerleader, smart, up for an Ivy League school and guys saw me as their wet dream personified. Blonde, perky, nice ass and the perfect sized rack. People wanted me, and they wanted to be me; I had it made, boy. Little did they know that I didn’t want any of it, but I was good at faking. I needed to keep up appearances; no one could find out how much I hated myself. I hated my body, I hated my breasts, the curve of my hips, the softness of my voice. I was attracted to men, but I didn’t feel like a woman. I know they say God doesn’t make mistakes, but I do feel like a little error went into making me. I don’t feel like a woman. I don’t feel girly. I hate the skirts, I hate the dresses, the make up and lace panties. The only time I feel like myself is when I strap up my breast
Enduring Liam: A High School BL Novel 8. Enduring Yale: The Ever After?
LiamA headache blinds me as soon as I open my eyes, but thankfully the blinds are drawn, and the room is dark. I slowly sit up in bed and allow my eyes to adjust to the room, but then my heart drops when my eyes eventually focus.I’m at home, I’m in the room I share with Asher, dressed in my most comfortable pj’s, and I have no idea how I got home.Panic grips my chest; I don’t know what happened last night after my second cocktail. Did I come home and fight with Asher? Did I actually fucking drive home?!I look around on my nightstand for my cell phone but don’t see it at all. I don’t even see my glasses. What the fuck is the time now? It’s Friday, and I’m probably late for my first class by now. Deciding to suck it up, I go to the bathroom to do my business then head downstairs to my fate.The smell of bacon and garlic mushrooms make my stomach rumble, and I realise that I didn&rsq
Enduring Liam: A High School BL Novel 7. Enduring Yale: The Ever After?
AsherThree am, and Liam is still not home. Seth and I have looked everywhere we thought he might be, but we’ve come up empty. So here I am, pacing the porch while waiting for his Audi to pull into our street.The sadness I felt has been replaced by worry and fear for him. He’s never switched his phone off; we can’t even track him through his cell. Where the fuck could he have gone? Is he safe?“Ash!” I hear Seth call out from inside and am about to go inside when he bursts through the door. “I know where he is! Let’s go! How could I have forgotten?!” He says, then pulls me towards my truck. “I didn’t think he would go to a bar by himself because that’s just not who Liam is!”A bar? Liam is alone at a bar?“Which bar, Seth? How do you know this?” I ask, starting up my truck and pulling out of the driveway. When I look over at Seth, I see him biting
Enduring Liam: A High School BL Novel 6. Enduring Yale: The Ever After?
Asher “Liam!” I run out after Liam, but he’s already speeding away in his car. I call out to him, but I get no reaction whatsoever; he doesn’t even slow down.“Shit! Shit! Shit!” I exclaim, punching the concrete garage wall and running back inside to grab my cell phone. We can’t leave things like this, and I won’t allow us to end things like this even if it is all my fault.Liam doesn’t answer when I try his cell, but I keep on trying even after he’s killed the call.How could I have been so stupid? We spoke about having our anniversary dinner indoors and reliving our first night together, but now it doesn’t look like that will be happening. In fact, it feels like Liam has given up on me, on us.I sink down into the couch, my eyes going to everything he has set up for us and finally landing on my gift. Sighing, I pick up the gift box and open it, my heart breaking a
Enduring Liam: A High School BL Novel 5. Enduring Yale: The Ever After?
LiamHe walks into the living room, swaying a bit on his feet as he does so, and I stand up. “Hey, baby. You've been waiting long?” He asks me in a slurred voice, scratching the back of his hair, and I shake my head. I know he’s seen the balloon because I saw the dread creeping into his eyes as he did.I shake my head and walk towards him, catching a whiff of stale cigarette smoke on his clothing. “You know, Asher, I decided to be patient with you because I knew you loved me and wanted to make things right, but now, I’m not so sure,” I say, scoffing. I hand over the balloon to him and smile, despite my tears.“Last year today, you claimed me as yours after the first game. It was the best night of my life, knowing I had someone who actually wanted me for more than sex this time around. I felt loved; I felt accepted and cared for. It’s amazing how a year can change someone.”Horror flashes
Enduring Liam: A High School BL Novel 4. Enduring Yale: The Ever After?
Asher The after game win always feels like such a rush, and it doesn’t matter if you’re playing it or watching it on TV. When your team scores that winning point and you’re the one to do it, there is nothing quite like it! During the trip back to New Haven, I couldn’t stop thinking about the guy waiting for me at home. I would never have pictured living my college life like this, much less with another guy. I thought I would be at OSU, living it up in my dad’s shadow, pretending to be straight, fucking more girls than I can count and pledging to a frat house. Instead, I’m spending weekends at football practice, actually studying and coming home in the evenings to my boyfriend and ex-girlfriend, who is now transitioning, watching movies and cooking dinners. What a weird turn my life took, and I wouldn't want it any other way. It’s four pm the day after our match, and Coach has decided to treat us to congratulatory drinks. Obviously, I followed
Enduring Liam: A High School BL Novel 3. Enduring Yale: The Ever After?
Liam“I’m going to kill him,” Seth warns, pointing the knife he’s using to chop the veg for tonight’s supper at me. “I’m going to fucking kill him.” The glare in his eyes terrifies me, and luckily, it isn’t meant for me!I shake my head. “You can’t do that; then I’ll lose the both of you,” I say, putting my hands together as if handcuffed, and Seth shakes his head.Seth scoffs. “I’ve watched ‘Making A Murderer,’ I think I’m okay.” He says, and I roll my eyes at him. Yes, I told him about what happened this afternoon, including the flirty student.He leans on the kitchen counter and stares at me. “Liam, you need to speak to him about your feelings. Ash probably thinks things are okay between the two of you because you haven't told him how you really feel about this. Miscommunication can ruin even the most secure relations
Enduring Liam: A High School BL Novel 2. Enduring Yale: The Ever After?
LiamAsher came home at 4 am last night and got up earlier than me. He’s left for school as well, while I’m sitting here nursing a hangover before my first class at 11. The movie and wine with Seth lasted for two movies, and we both cried like babies, mostly because of the effect the wine was having on us.I shuffle downstairs and see a note from him saying he’ll be home late because of practice tonight, and I sigh. Alone again, then? Should I get used to this?My cell phone ringing catches my attention, and I answer it quickly as it is not helping with my hangover. “Hello? Liam? It’s dark. Are you there?”The voice of my mom breaks through the silence in the house, and I roll my eyes at my stupidity; she’s on a video call with me.“Sorry, mom!” I apologise, then turn the phone to face me, and I smile. I can’t get over the fact that my mom has been glowing over the last fe
Enduring Liam: A High School BL Novel 1. Enduring Yale: The Ever After?
LiamNew Haven is different; there’s no claustrophobic feel here, no judgy eyes from our peers, and everyone seems… nicer. It’s been just over six months since our move, and to say that Asher has blossomed is putting it lightly.Waterford stifled his abilities, and his father dulled his shine, but now that he’s not around either, he’s a completely different person. Obviously, he’s on the football team, and they love him. Well, everyone seems to love Asher here; he’s become even more popular than when he was at Waterford High. He also doesn’t hide the fact that he’s gay and with me, but girls still flock around him. In fact, he seems to be proud to hold my hand and kiss me in public.Although, I have to admit that I’m jealous of his popularity. Not that I want to be popular as well, but that everyone knows him now. We can never just walk somewhere without him stopping to chat with someo
