Stranger

The café where I work resembles an elegant yet small restaurant. It's decorated stylishly, but ascetically. The floor is lined with dark wooden panels, and the walls are covered with white tiles imitating bricks. Lamps with black shades hang from the high ceiling, illuminating the interior with warm light. Red leather chairs stand around low tables with vases of white orchids on them. I put on my work outfit and slipped shiny black stilettos on my feet. I fix my high bun and take a few deep breaths. My gut tells me that I’m in for a difficult day. I’m distracted and slightly irritated. I can’t fully concentrate on the present, because in my head I constantly have the image of a mysterious, probably imaginary stranger. 

  “Just opened, the guests slowly begin to descend.” Anna’s voice pulls me out of my musings.

I glance in her direction and see her combing her fingers through her curly red hair. This crazy, totally optimistic girl is one of the people who are always there for me. In difficult moments, she gives me a hand and patiently listens to all my complaints. You could say that we are friends… if such a thing as friendship even exists.

  “Just a moment more and I’ll be ready,”  I utter, smiling at her. I take a quick look in the mirror, checking that everything is in place.  There are clearly signs of sleeplessness under my eyes, but everything else remains flawless.

I walk over to the sink and wash my hands with soapy water, then join Anna. 

  “Oh my God, Alex!” she begins, grabbing her face and shaking her head. “You look like a zombie,” she states, making big eyes. “What were you doing last night?”

  “ Erm …” I mutter, playing for time, because what am I supposed to answer her? “You know, on my way home I met a guy who, with the help of supernatural abilities, burned six people alive, then disappeared, leaving not a trace.” “I had a rough night, that’s all,” I finally announced, deciding on the safest option. “Have you collected your orders yet?” I ask, changing the subject.

  “Tom is just getting everything ready,” she says, then puts her index finger to her chin, and, thoughtful, starts looking around the premises. “Sebastian should have been here for a good dozen minutes already.”

  “He’s late, as usual,” Tom mumbles, then blows strands of light hair out of his eyes.

He pours thick, frothy milk into the intensely fragrant coffee. He places the cup on a silver tray, where an enticingly fragrant brownie awaits. Saliva gathers in my mouth in a split second. If I weren’t held back by the fact that I work here, I’d be able to pounce on the treat and gobble it up without leaving a crumb. Chocolate is my weak point, and I’m not just talking about the usual bars in silver, no… it’s a much bigger addiction. Chocolate pudding, chocolate cakes, chocolate on toast, hot chocolate to drink… hot chocolate to drink…

  “ALEX!”  Anna snaps her fingers right in front of my nose, snapping me out of my reverie.

  “What did you say?”  I open my eyes wider, looking in her direction.

  “The guests are waiting.” She shakes her head and points first to one of the filled trays, then to a table against the wall, facing us.

I take the tray and move toward the brunette sitting with his back to me. The boy is wearing a white shirt and has a leather jacket slung across the back of his chair. He sits comfortably with his outstretched legs folded one over the other. I stand in front of him, grabbing a cup of coffee. I lift my gaze to greet him and… Boom! The silver tray along with the chocolate brownie lands on the floor, followed immediately by the coffee cup. The glass flies in all directions, and I can’t move from my seat, poking my gaze into the boy sitting in front of me.

  “Are you all right?” He asks, standing up and  putting his hand on my shivering shoulder.

I’m in so much shock that I can’t get a word out. My hands are shaking uncontrollably, and my heart is pounding as if I just finished a marathon. This has no right to be happening. 

  “Gosh, Alex, what’s wrong with you!” Out of the corner of my eye, I see Anna running towards us. A subtle, innocent smile appears on her face. “We apologize wholeheartedly,” she turns to the brunette. “A colleague is not feeling well today.” She nervously wrinkles her eyebrows, then looks at me surreptitiously. “Please forgive me,” she repeats, clearly embarrassed. “Feel free to order whatever you want. On our account, all right?”

  “That won’t be necessary,” he replies in a calm, melodious voice, without taking his eyes off me. 

He acts as if he has never seen me in his life. What is this supposed to be? Some kind of steamy joke? Or maybe I’ve just been tricked into one of those stupid TV shows, and I’m about to hear a loud: “Welcome to the hidden camera!”? The boy pulls out his wallet from his pants pocket and places a few bills on the table.

  “You…”  I mumble in a trembling voice, finally regaining my speech.

I’m not quite sure what I wanna say. After all, I can’t accuse him of mass murder without any evidence. I would come off as a total idiot. What if the events of yesterday evening were happening solely in my head? It’s possible that it’s just a coincidence that the boy standing in front of me looks exactly like the type from my nightmare.

  “Do we know each other?”  He asks with  genuine surprise, raising his eyebrows high.

  “I…” I stammer.

I have the feeling that a large thorny bush has grown in my throat, blocking my speech. I involuntarily replay in my memory the scene of the execution of defenseless people. An unimaginable chill pierces me.

  “It´s okay,”  the brunet states unexpectedly, smiling gently, then looks at Anna.  “Maybe tomorrow I can try your coffee and eat a brownie.”  He shrugs his shoulders as if nothing ever happened.

Anna opens her mouth as if she wants to say something, but is unable to make a sound. I can clearly feel her irritation and slight anger at me. Actually, she isn’t surprised. Because of my behavior, we are likely to lose a customer, who apparently isn’t one of the poor, since he leaves such a sum of money without even touching his order. After a while, I begin to doubt myself. After all, he doesn’t resemble a cold-blooded killer at all. I have to take the plunge as soon as possible.

  “So… see you tomorrow?” asks Anna in an uncertain, thin voice. 

  “It looks like it.” This time, the smile on the boy’s face is a little more pronounced, making dimples appear in his cheeks.

He throws on his jacket and moves towards the exit.  He raises his hand in farewell, then disappears out the door.

  “Alex!” stammers my colleague, whose face turns so red that it begins to resemble a big beet. I lower my gaze, looking at her tightly clenched fists. I immediately know that I’m in for quite a bit of trouble. I lower my gaze, looking at her tightly clenched fists. I immediately know that I’m in trouble. Suddenly, a tiny light bulb turns on in my head. I realize that there is one piece of evidence that would prove the boy’s guilt - the type I saw last night, after all, was shot in the arm.

  “I’ll be right back,” I chuckle and, without waiting for her reaction, head for the exit. I don’t care what a stranger will think of me. I want to find out the truth, even if it will be bitter. 

As I step out into the fresh air, I see him just getting on his motorcycle. Bloody hell, on the same motorcycle I saw yesterday. I blissfully run up to him, barring his way.

  “Is something wrong?” He asks in an innocent voice, squinting those damned violet-blue eyes of his.

  “Answer me one question!”   I screech determinedly and grab the steering wheel of the cross without thinking. 

  “You can be really annoying, you know?” He takes my hand off the steering wheel as if it were some annoying bug, twisting his face in a grimace. “Don’t touch it,” he says firmly, then combing his slender fingers through the hair falling on his forehead.  He doesn’t get anywhere with this, as strands of his lengthy fringe disobediently take back their former place. 

  “One question and I swear…”

  “If this is the only way to get rid of you, go ahead,”  he sighed, crossing his arms over his chest.

  “Where were you last night?” 

  “ Emm… at work?” he replies with alarming confidence. 

  “At work?” I squint suspiciously, trying to pierce him with my eyes, which does not impress him in the least.

I guess he notices that his answer doesn’t quite convince me, because after a while he adds: 

  “What’s strange about that? You’re working yourself. Besides, you have nothing to do with what I do for a living.” 

I clench my teeth and, after a short thought, decide to reach for the truth one last time. It’s necessary to put everything on the line, even if I come off as crazy.

  “Your arms,”  I say uncertainly.

  “Is something wrong with it?” He asks, looking at me with a skeptical and at the same time bored eyes. He glances at his watch, letting me know that he doesn’t feel like wasting any more time on our conversation. “I don’t have all day, honey, so why don’t you finally get to the point.”

  “I want to see them,”  I throw in without thinking.

I can’t believe what I just said. Seriously, Alex? How did it get past my throat? Oh, my sweet God, what a shame. But on the other hand, if it makes me finally able to sleep peacefully, to fuck the shame.

  “Wow!” He declares with laughter, which was to be expected. “Do you mean to tell me to undress for you?” He asks, still laughing. I can feel myself blushing more and more by the second. Probably, I look like an idiotic dumbass now. “Well, all right.” He shrugs his shoulders.“But if I get pneumonia afterward, it will be entirely your fault, baby.”

I’m burning - there’s no other way to call it. A little more and I’ll turn into a pile of ashes, and he won’t even have to lift a finger. Dang it! What was I even thinking? Bravo, Alex! I’ve never felt so stupid as at this moment. The boy pulls off his jacket, then starts unbuttoning the buttons of his elegant, perfectly fitted shirt. I prefer not to look around, I don’t want to see the eyes of all the onlookers, who God knows what they think of us. When the stranger reveals his shoulders, my jaw drops. I’m sure it looks exactly like in those funny cartoons I still enjoy watching today. No trace of a gunshot. Not even the slightest scratch. And I was so sure.

   “Satisfied?” He asks, rolling his eyes.

I feel drops of sweat running down my back.  It dries up in my throat. 

  “Sorry. Apparently, I mistook you for someone,” I explain, bending my head to avoid his gaze.  I try with all my might to turn into a soap bubble and splash away. Unfortunately, my plan doesn’t seem to be working.

  “It’s always an excuse,” he states, then starts to get dressed again. “This isn’t the first time a girl has asked me to undress, but frankly, it’s the first time I don’t get anything in return.”

Asshole, boorish asshole, I burble to myself in my mind, but at the same time I understand his reaction.  He presumably thinks I’m a deranged moron.

  “Forget about it, okay?” I ask through clenched teeth. I try to smile innocently, which ends in failure.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow, hmm?” That sounds more like a statement than a question, so I decided I’d better not speak anymore. I have embarrassed myself enough.

The boy finally turns around and starts the motorcycle. After a moment, he drives off, leaving behind a cloud of gray smoke and the barely perceptible smell of burning tires. I coughed, then set off for the café with my heart pounding like a bell and embarrassment written on my face.

                                                                           ***

I asked Anna not to mention my irresponsible behavior to the café owners. The boss wouldn’t be pleased. Fortunately, my friend immediately agreed, assuring me that she would hold her tongue. She may have given the impression of being angry, but that’s how she is. She always gets angry with me for the first few minutes, and then completely forgets the whole thing. Unfortunately, I have to pay for the broken crockery and the boy’s order, no matter how much tip he left. Sebastian called around ten o’clock, announcing that we shouldn’t wait for him, because he is feeling unwell and will definitely not come to work today anymore. I immediately blew off the lie. Anyone who knows Sebastian knows very well that this is just a lame excuse and, in reality, he's resting as usual after a successful party. Sebastian and Anna are two people Í allow myself to be real with. They see me as I really am. With them, I sometimes manage to forget the past and feel like I used to be. Around sixteen, we finish our shift and Matt and Megan arrive at the premises. The second shift is much shorter and no more people are needed on it.

  “I’ll drive you home, Alex,” Anna offers, but it sounds more like a statement. The girl puts on a light jacket and starts tying a thick scarf around her neck. 

  “I don’t want to make trouble…”

  “Ah, stop, it’s the same thing every time! You know very well that it’s no trouble for me. If only you weren’t so stubborn and didn’t think you had to rely solely on yourself all your life, we could go back together every day,” she says firmly in a slightly raised voice, finishing tying her high boots. “You’re coming with me, end of story!”

For a moment I wonder if it makes any sense to protest, but almost immediately I give up. I’m aware that Anna is worried about me. I don’t hold it against her, on the contrary. I’m glad that she cares about me. Since the death of my parents, most people have treated me like a tiny, helpless lamb. I don’t feel comfortable with the idea that I arouse pity in them. I want them to see me as a strong young woman, coping with a difficult moment, not a lost child crying for help. Anna’s car is a green, huge frog-like corsa. We get inside, panting from the cold. Anna immediately turns on the heating, which makes me relax and unbutton my coat zipper after just a few minutes.

  “…Pretty cute, no?”  she finishes the sentence, of which I only heard the last three words.

I take a deep breath and turn my head toward her.

  “What did you say?”

  “What’s going on with you today?”

If only I knew that myself, I say to myself in my mind

  “I just need to rest. I didn’t sleep a wink all night yesterday,” I admit. 

  “Any problems? That’s not like you.  I can’t remember the last time I saw you like this.”

  “You don’t have to worry about anything, Anna.  It’s nothing important.” I’m trying to convince her. “Seriously!” I add when I see her suspicious face.

  “Be that as it may. I know you well enough to know that even if there was something wrong, I won’t get the truth out of you until you’re willing to tell me yourself.”

What’s right is right, mutters a quiet voice in my head. 

  “So?” she asks as we turn into the narrow street leading to my house. 

  “What, then?”  I repeat while raising my eyebrows and wrinkling my forehead.  

  “You didn’t hear a word I said to you, huh?” That’s not quite true, I heard three, but they didn’t make much sense.  Anna shakes her head in disbelief, smiling slightly at the same time. “I asked, what do you think of him?  You know, about this guy in front of whom you made quite a scene.”

  “Anna!”   I burble embarrassed.

  “Well, what?”  She shrugs his shoulders, quietly giggling. “You have to admit… he was cute.” 

  “Cute?” I curl my lips.  I don’t like where this conversation is going.

  “Don’t tell me you didn’t like him. I saw your face when you first looked at him.” She grunts. “Not to mention everything else.” He bares his white teeth, twisting his freckled nose. “When I saw those eyes of his, mmm …” She closes her eyelids for a moment as if she was enjoying an immensely delicious piece of cake.

  “It’s not like that, Anna. You are misinterpreting all this,” I announce, putting my arms on my chest and praying that she will leave the subject alone.

  “There is nothing to be ashamed of.  To be honest, if I were in your position, I would certainly drop the damn tray too.”

  “Leave it!”  I say in a pleading tone, poking her gently with my elbow. 

The friend just shrugs her shoulders, parking the car at the entrance to the house. She turns off the engine and turns toward me. 

  “What are you doing on a Saturday night?” she asks, tucking an unruly strand of hair behind her ear, and I’m thankful with all my heart that she doesn’t torment me any longer with talk about the café boy.

  “The usual,”  I reply, unbuckling my belt.

Almost every Saturday I go to the nearby library after work to look for new books. Later I return home and sit in my room reading for the rest of the day.

  “It’s all clear. I’ll pick you up around seven and take you to Megan’s for the party. Aha!” she nods sideways with an outstretched finger. “I say right away that this is NOT a request. You have to be ready and now! I’m not going to let you sit chained to your bed and read books again.”

  “I don’t know…”  I mumble uncertainly.

This isn’t the first time she’s asked me to go with her to a friend’s party. Since the death of my parents, I rarely go to parties, not to say that I go anywhere at all. I feel uncomfortable around a larger group of people. In the past, I wouldn’t hesitate for a moment. I loved partying, meeting friends, and flirting with boys. But now all that has lost its meaning.

  “Finally stop nagging, get a grip, and start living woman!” she throws in a harsh tone.

I know she’s right, but I can’t shake the feeling that returning to my former carefree life will be tantamount to me forgetting them. It’s stupid, I don’t fully understand it myself, but it’s like that and I can’t change it. My parents would certainly not be happy if they knew that their daughter had decided to live in mourning for the rest of her days. They would rather see me smiling, playing, and jumping with happiness. If only it were that easy.

  “Okay,”  I strain, trying to smile.

The corners of Anna’s mouth come up almost to her ears. I guess she didn’t quite believe that I would agree. I squeeze her and kiss her on the cheek, then get out of the car and slam the door behind me. I pull the key from my coat pocket, open the door with it, and cross the threshold of the house. Grandma is lying with her eyes closed on the wide sofa, quietly snoring. I walk over to her and cover her with a thick plaid blanket. Let her sleep on. Pulling off my coat and shoes, I move with a quick step towards the kitchen. Hot cocoa will do me good, plus the dinner from yesterday, which I reheat in the microwave. Pasta casserole with tomato sauce. Since I go to work, I don’t have much time to prepare complicated dishes. So I make several at once in my spare time and store them in the freezer. It’s not bad, but sometimes I miss my mother’s dishes. We used to cook delicious dinners together and bake a variety of cakes. After eating a “fantastic” casserole and drinking cocoa, I climb the stairs. I go straight to the room. I immediately take a book, spread out on the bed, and start reading.