Flashback…….. It was Monday? Or Tuesday? The truth didn't matter; the days lost meaning in this place. They were all so alike, so repetitive. Elise and I used to hate Mondays because we had to go to school. I remembered the tantrums she used to throw to avoid going to school or how she would sometimes pretend to be sick. A sad smile came over my lips as I remembered her. My gaze was focused on the window beside us. The group therapy was going on as usual; there were only six of us women, recounting our progress, being encouraged and pressured to share what we felt. The room felt big for just us and the psychologist. The psychiatric building looked old but well-maintained. I settled into the small wooden chair, watching the cold fog up the windows. The weather in this part of Canada was always so depressing, so gray; maybe this wasn't the best location for a mental institution. Anna—the psychologist—got my attention. “Is there something you want to share today?” My eye
His question took me by surprise. "Good." "Your medication?" "Everything's fine," I answered, confused. Anyone would say that you cared about me. Logan looked down and then turned his face toward me, looking me straight in the eyes. "Maybe I do." I stopped breathing, not knowing what to say. He continued, “Have you gotten better at expressing what you feel?” "I think so." "Okay." He ran his hand through his hair, his eyes moving away from me and back to the window. "Ignoring the pain, pretending it's not there will only hurt you more." The mention of that word made my chest tighten. It was in that moment of silence that I realized how big and raw the pain inside me was. "And I know it's easier to hide it," Logan paused, "but sooner or later, it will get to you and devastate you." "You don't know what you're talking about." I clenched my fists in a futile attempt to keep tears from forming in my eyes. Logan started walking in my direction and then stopped next to me.
My heart was pounding inside my chest. My breath was caught in my lungs. I couldn't believe she was there; she couldn't be there; it had to be my imagination. I tried to speak, but no words came out of my mouth. Tears quickly blurred my vision, making her familiar face blurry in my eyes. "Anaís," she pronounced my name perfectly. Her voice was like a shot straight to the pain in my chest, opening it, unleashing it. I wanted to say something, but I couldn't. When I breathed again, it was just a gasping inhalation of air. My best friend was in front of me, the person I loved most after my family, the one who had always been there, the one I hadn’t seen in months. "Anaís, Ja—" I held up my hand as a signal for her not to speak. Words weren't necessary. Her eyes were also filled with tears, her hands shaking at her sides, which meant that she knew. She knew what had happened. I held my chest tightly and exhaled a little air. I couldn't breathe properly; there was a lump in my throat
"Well, I got tired of trying to contact you for the past few weeks. I knew something was wrong; I could feel it, so I came here. I talked to your grandparents, and they told me what happened. I'm so sorry, Anaís.""But you're missing days of school.""School can wait; my best friend can't." She gave me a warm smile. I took her hand and squeezed it."Thanks; I actually feel better after crying so much.""You don't have to thank me," she said, smiling sweetly. "Are you okay? And I want an honest answer.""I don't know.""Do you remember what happened that night?" I shook my head. "Not even a little?""I... I don't want to remember. Every time I think about that night, all I can see is blood." Jasmine gave me a sad look."I know. I can't imagine what you've been through, and I'm sorry I wasn't here before.""No," I interrupted her. "I chose not to tell you. It's not your fault.""Why did you not tell me?""I don't know how to explain it; it was like if you knew, everything would be real.
Logan! Put me down! - I ordered. He was no longer carrying me in his arms; he had thrown me over his shoulder like a sack. - Logan! "Stop whining," the amusement in his voice was obvious. I looked at the back of his feet as he calmly carried me. Where was he taking me? I tried hard to lift my head and look at my surroundings, but my neck started to hurt. My head began to feel heavy due to the fact that all my blood was rushing to it. Logan, my head hurts. - He stopped and gently put me on the ground to support my face. Are you OK? Really? - I asked him sarcastically, looking straight into his gray eyes. He simply smirked at me, making my gaze fall to his mouth. I stared at his shamelessly full lips. His smile grew bigger, and he leaned towards me. Are you done admiring me? I wasn't doing any such thing. Someday, you'll admit it. I didn't know why I got so nervous around him. His presence made my heart beat faster and my stomach feel strange. There's nothing to admit. - I cro
The words didn't seem to come out of me. The soft scent of Logan's cologne invaded my nose, making me more aware of his closeness. His cheek brushed against mine as he moved down to give me a short kiss on the neck. Logan... - Logan pulled back, breaking all contact between us. My body protested; I wanted him close to me. His gray eyes met mine, and I felt the blood fill my cheeks. Logan smirked, showing his straight white teeth. God, he has a perfect smile. You're blushing. No. He didn't know why I denied the obvious. It was too embarrassing. So? “I’m not going to kiss you,” I said, looking away, his eyes too intense to hold for long. His hand grasped my chin, making me face him again. Why not? I remembered his words clearly: I want you to be absolutely sure that this is what you want because once you let me taste your lips, I won't rest until I claim every part of you. Because... I felt like his eyes could see right through me. - I... - Logan raised an eyebrow, waiting fo
NEXT DAY……. Are you sure about this? The concern in Dr. Altman's voice was evident. Yes. I didn't hesitate when answering; I knew that if the doctor noticed the slightest doubt in me, he would cancel the whole thing. We were standing in front of the metal gate that separated us from Mason. Two security guards stood next to us. Dr. Altman went over all the safety procedures with me once again. Don't get close... Don't fall for his games... With each review and the increasing intensity in his tone of voice, I felt nervous and insecure. Is everything clear? I just nodded. Are you sure? Yes, sure. I lied. Dr. Altman gave the signal to the guard, who proceeded to take out the key and insert it into the lock. The creaking of metal echoed throughout the hallway as the guards cautiously opened the door. One of them stepped in, blocking the view into the room. I tried to look over his shoulder, but he was too tall. After what I assumed was a check, the tall guard turned t
His short answer left me breathless. "What do you know?" "Why would I tell you?" "Please." I didn't feel ashamed to beg; if he knew something, I would plead for him to tell me. Mason tilted his head again. “Take the blindfold off my eyes, and I’ll answer one of your questions.” "I don't think that's a good idea." "So, I have no motivation to answer you," he said casually. "You see, Anaís, I get bored easily; I need motivation to do the simplest thing." "I'm not stupid; you're dangerous. They have you this way for a reason." "If I wanted to hurt you, I would have done it already," he replied, sounding confident. "It's not me you have to be careful of." "So, whose?" He didn't respond. I knew he was waiting for me to take off the bandage. I considered my options; I would have to get too close to be able to take it off. Dr. Altman had made me promise to keep a certain distance from him. "You're wasting valuable time considering it; just do it," his voice remained calm and cold.
The next day, when she came down the stairs and her gaze was on us decipher emotions, I knew Anaís was back and it was time to remind her. Logan….. Days after. I had to wait a few days for Anaís to be able to look me in the face and talk to me, we didn't talk about what happened between us, we didn't have to and to be honest, we love each other. I need you to come with me. Anaís wrinkled her eyebrows at the ice cream I offered her, “Ice cream?” Just came. We left the house, heading to the trees where I had installed a couple of swings the previous few days. She furrowed her eyebrows, taking a lick of her ice cream, What is this? Ice cream and swings? Aren't you too old for this? I smiled widely at him, “Just sit down.” She did so, her free hand gently stroking the metal rope at her side, a confused expression taking over her face. Mason had looked at me reluctantly, -You recreate the place, the moment as much as you can and this might help her remember it, - he paused, But
No.- she interrupted me, -Don't lie, grey eyes. I'll give you another chance because I'm in a good mood, and honestly, it would be a waste to kill Adam, he's good. I don't know what I feel for her, but it's the closest thing to love I've ever felt in my entire life.- I said honestly, She... - I could feel Mason and Adam's eyes on me, -She makes me believe that my diagnosis is wrong and that I can feel. The red princess narrowed her eyes, “Since when? Why her?” I didn't want to say it, but I knew I had to tell the truth, "I met her when I was twelve." Mason furrowed his eyebrows. The memory was as clear in my mind as if it had been yesterday. Are you crying? - she asked me curiously. I looked up to see a little blonde girl with an ice cream in her hand and a flowery dress with too many colors. I quickly wiped my tears away, embarrassed. She sat on the swing next to mine without saying anything. We stayed silent for a while, until she spoke after taking a lick of her ice cream, Whe
Adam. Blood dripped from my knuckles in a slow but mesmerizing rhythm. Mason remained silent, leaning against a tree with his hands crossed over his chest. There was no reason for him to be here anymore, I had calmed down and had no more bullets. Maybe he didn't want to go back and have to deal with what was going on in there either. I clenched my fists, causing more blood to pour out of the cuts on my knuckles. I wanted to say it hurt, but no, my pain tolerance was impressive thanks to all those years of dealing with it. Physical pain was an area I had under control, emotional discomfort was another matter. Emotional discomfort... A self-mocking smile formed on my lips. But then, what is all this shit that I feel? That was a question I had never found an answer to. Maybe I confused the feeling of losing an object of fun with jealousy or something else, but it didn't matter anyway. I heard footsteps and within seconds I had Logan standing in front of me at a safe distance. Hi
Adam… I shouldn't have let her go like that. Anaís was disturbed by that kiss; I knew it, and yet I had let her run away from me like that. I had to make it clear to her, to make her understand that she and I had history, long before Logan and Mason got into this. I paced back and forth in my room. Should I go to her? I didn't want to overwhelm her either; it would only push her away from me. I ran my hands through my hair in frustration, not knowing what to do. I shouldn't have lost control and kissed her like that, although a part of me was happy with her reaction—she kissed me back. Maybe her feelings were coming back. Maybe she was coming back to me. A smile formed on my lips; that would make me the happiest man on the planet. I had abandoned everything for her; I had done the unimaginable for her well-being and to keep her by my side. I just needed her to accept me for all this to be worth it; I didn't ask for anything else. Regaining my resolve, I left my room and headed
The darkness was stifling; I could barely breathe, my heart threatening to jump out of my chest. The daylight that filtered in under the door was barely enough to let me see Logan's silhouette a few feet away from me, but I couldn't see his face or his expression, and that scared me. Logan... My voice came out shakier than I expected, my throat dry, my hands sweaty. Logan didn't say anything, the silence gnawing at him. "Logan, open the door," I asked, praying that this was just a game that would last a few minutes. He wants you, Anaís. That voice again. That wasn't true; I was just a game to him, nothing more. You want him too, even if you don't want to admit it. No. Its darkness attracts you, intrigues you. No, that's not true. You want to see what lies beyond that cold demeanor. You want to see the man behind the indifference. You want to dig deep and find his humanity. No... I didn't realize I said it out loud until I heard it. I expected some sort of response or mocke
"They're not going to have you," he hissed in annoyance. "I know you'd never be that interested in them, and they wouldn't be able to force you." Won't they be able to force me? - I laughed sarcastically. - We're talking about two psychopaths, Adam; I think you should know that limits are not something they have. They have limits when it comes to you. I shook my head. - Suppose they don't do anything against my will; so what if they win? Logan and I already have history; what if I fall for him again? Adam didn't say anything; he just twisted his lips. So I continued, “Could you stand it?” I didn’t know where this strength came from to say these things. Seeing me with him every day? Seeing him touch me, kiss me, let me have sex in his room? Anaís... I took a step toward him, looking him straight in the eyes. Would you please? Adam clenched his jaw; he was angry, rage rolling off his posture in waves. I kept pressing it. Maybe he'll let you watch him make love to me and... A
I'm going crazy. And I know, because I'm starting to be like them. I silently observed each of their expressions, each gesture, each exchanged glance, analyzing, trying to make sense of all this madness. Struggling to find reasons, motives, weaknesses. The only difference was that no matter how hard I tried to act like them, I wasn't like them and never would be; there was only so much I could imitate or try to copy; everything had a limit. However, the little that I had noticed had to be of some use. Mason…. He was the most dangerous of all; he didn't take anything seriously, everything was a game to him, no matter how twisted and bloody it could get. Plus, he was extremely intelligent; that ability to manipulate and decipher people could be even more dangerous than any physical ability. Logan…. He was unpredictable, volatile behind that mask of coldness. I could see how unstable he could be when something didn't go his way or when something bothered him. Logan was easier to a
He took two steps toward me. "You say you hate me, but you can't, and that makes you angry." Don't come near me. He didn't stop, forcing me back until the back of my knees touched the bed behind me. "Despite everything, you can't help but feel the way you feel about me." I hate him, I hate him; he's a murderer. I keep repeating it in my head over and over again. But Logan didn't let me think; he grabbed me by the waist tightly with one arm, sticking me to him. I struggled, trying to free myself. —Let me go, Logan! He gave me that signature crooked smile of his. I missed you, Anaís. Before I could say anything, he used his free hand to grab me by the neck and smash his lips against mine. Those soft lips that were so familiar and that I had kissed so many times still felt good against mine, but I couldn't respond. I fought against that feeling of comfort and pushed him away. Logan stepped back, smiling. I slapped him as hard as I could. —Don't you ever do that again. Logan con
Memories………Blood... So much blood on my hands... I move my fingers in front of my face, warm blood sliding down them, running down my palms to my wrists and falling into the void. Stop... That soft voice... angelic... I turned around, but there was only darkness around me. Where am I? I'll bite you back, red princess. Mason's voice in the distance made me fall to my knees, a sharp pain spreading through my head, squeezing my skull, making me gasp in agony. I'm not interested in you; I'm interested in Anaís. It hurts so much. I heard footsteps approaching me; they were slow and steady. Whoever it was was in no hurry. Holding my throbbing head, I managed to stand up, staggering from side to side. The light came back around me, blinding and imposing, and there in front of me was my father. Dad? —I couldn't believe it. I hurried towards him. —Dad, my head hurts so much. Standing in front of him, my father smiled and hugged me, but instead of feeling good, it was the opposite