That night I didn't get home until almost four in the morning.
I worked a late shift at the twenty four hour dinner I had been at for a couple years now, and since I could now drive myself home, I decided to go through a drive thru and eat my dinner in the parking lot. I was fully, all the way, avoiding my own dreams. What my mom had said earlier kind of… shook me. I sat in the empty parking lot for almost a whole hour, just thinking about everything that was clogging up my brain gears recently.
I had compiled a list of observations:
One: this guy was obviously some miserable creation my own lonely mind created to compensate for the lack of male presence in my life. I mean, I had no dad, no boyfriend or even a close male friend for that matter. That was bound to cause some inner turmoil, right?
Two: my mother probably thought I was dreaming about becoming a doctor and wanted me to take that into consideration when choosing what I was going to college for, and that’s why she acted like a crazy person when I mentioned dreams. It was weird enough to know that my mom thought dreams were some kind of vision, because as far as I knew, her beliefs were very… non-existent. She has never believed in ghosts, paranormal things, not even God. I didn’t really either, but I had always wished the proof was there that they did exist.
And three: I couldn’t avoid sleeping forever. While I had been sleeping okay the last few nights, I had a weird sense of dread all day. Like my brain just knew that tonight, I would be returning to the field.
The last observation was extremely prevalent as I laid down in my soft bed after taking the longest route home possible. My mom had already gone to sleep since she had to work in the morning, and my dog was snoring at the foot of my bed. I slipped my cold feet under her warm belly.
I covered myself up with the same blanket my dad used to sleep with, the one I had been using ever since he died. I listened to the sound of my noisy fish tank gurgling across the room. It was kind of soothing, like white noise. Despite being scared of what was going to happen when I fell asleep, my long work day and stressful experience getting my driver's license was starting to catch up to me. My body was tired, and my eyes were growing heavy.
The last thing I thought of before falling asleep was how my fan felt like a cool night breeze.
“Are you okay?” An unfamiliar voice rings through my head.
I sit straight up, breathing heavily. I look around wildly, too disorientated to really take anything in. A woman jumping away from me catched my attention. It’s funny, she’s scooting away from me as though I’m the one who was creeping on her while she was sleeping. She’s large, both height wise and weight wise. Had to be at least six four. She kind of looks like Cinderella before she got her glass slipper. Heavy brown dress with an apron over the top, flat black shoes. She has lovely, creamy skin with flushed cheeks and perfect blue eyes.
I look around. I’m laying in a field, but it’s not the field I wanted to be in. This one was dried up looking, dead and sad in appearance. I looked up at the sky, and was surprised to find the same bright white moon from before. The moon assured me that I was in fact in the right place. Or, at least in the general vicinity of the right place.
My eyes fall back on the woman. She’s still staring at me, but she is visibly uncomfortable and obviously wants to leave. “Yeah I just… have you seen a guy? Really tall with a tattoo on the back of his neck.” I stand up, dusting dirt off my sleeping shorts.
“Well sure.” She looks at me, continuing to back up little by little. “Everyone knows everyone here.” I furrow my brow at her, becoming increasingly frustrated with her avoidance tactic.
“Well can you tell me where to find him?” I ask, raising my brows at her. “Please, it’s really important.”
She points to our right a little, a worried expression on her face.
“Thank you.” As soon as those words leave my lips she spins around and runs away, her feet making loud slapping noises against the sad dead ground. It was strange enough that I had even run into someone else in the first place, considering I knew I was dreaming, it was even more strange how she acted like she was… scared of me.
I shake my head, and turn to my right, making my way through the treeline, trying to push that very strange encounter to the back of my mind. The forest is pleasantly thick, but not so thick that I can’t see far enough ahead of me. I walk for about ten minutes before I can see a house to my left a few hundred feet ahead. I assume that’s the boy’s house, which hopefully means the field shouldn’t be too much farther ahead. I have no idea if that’s actually true, since I’ve only been here one time and in one place. But I was trying to be hopeful. I walk quickly, feeling slightly pressed for time. Last time it was days before I could come back, what if it’s longer this time? What if it’s a week, or a month, or a year? I don’t really know this boy too much, but for some reason the thought of not seeing him for a year makes my heart knot up. I laughed at myself a little. I had dreaded coming back here so much, but really only because I knew how much it would hurt to get ripped away from it
This time when my eyes snap open, I’m not feeling so sad and lonely. I’m confused as ever and a little irritated. Scratch that, a lot irritated. He knew going in for a kiss would scare the shit out of me, and used it to wake me up. I sit up, trying to process what I just “dreamt” about. Who were those people trying to find me? Why was that guy so scared of them? Scared might not have been the right word… but he was definitely wary of them to say the least.And who was that that called for me? I could remember the exact pitch of his voice calling out into the night. “Little flower…” I feel almost… regretful… that I didn’t see the face it belonged to.I shake my head, focusing on what really mattered. Were my dreams more than dreams? Was this a real place and a real person I was visiting and talking to? It was seeming more and more like that was the case. I felt insane even thinking that, but what was I supposed to think at this point?I sat there in my bed for a few minutes collecti
It was almost two in the afternoon before I finally gave up. I closed my laptop that I’d had to plug in while I used it from draining the battery, and tossed it on the foot of my bed. I had let my dog out hours ago. She had no interest in research, only in frockling in the back yard. I left my room, shutting my wooden door a bit forcefully behind me. The house was cool and quiet, all I could hear was my mom’s cat padding around somewhere. I stood there in the hallway for a moment, staring at a picture of my dad that hung on the wall, along with various other pictures. We had gone on a fishing trip; I was only four and the small perch my mother had photographed me holding had felt like a shark in size to little me. My dad died when I was eight, from a heart attack. I loved him, and I miss him every day I walk down this hallway and see these pictures of him, smiling and frozen in time. That gives me an idea. My legs and mind kick into gear with the fresh thought seared into my min
She stares at the picture, as though what I’m saying is irrelevant. She backs up and flops down into one of the brown armchairs taking up a corner of the room. Her eyes stare off a little, and she sighs. It’s a good minute before she says anything, and when she does, it’s like she’s talking to herself rather than to me. “Your father and I used to live in a really crappy town down south before we moved here and started over. We were young and broke and couldn’t afford anything better. So we ended up living in kind of a dump around people who gave us nothing but bad memories… especially your father. We moved there to get away from people, to be by ourselves. You know already my parents weren’t very nice, and your father’s died when he was young. I was tired of living under the same roof as them and your dad… well he didn’t care where we went. He always said he just wanted to be by my side. So we settled for less, just to get away. It just caused trouble for us, though. At first, every
I nod, keep a hold on my one picture of the field, and stand up. Neither me or my mother say anything as I slowly walk to my room. I wanted her to stop me, to tell me she was sorry for saying that and that she would support me in finding out what the hell was happening with me. I wanted to know that even if this didn't work out, I would still have her.But she didn’t. I walked into my room, shutting the door behind me and leaning against it. I close my eyes, slide down the length of it, and bury my face in my hands. I jump a little when I feel my dog’s nose brushing my forearm. I glance up, my throat on fire and my eyes already brimming over with tears.I grab her face in my hands, staring into her aging yellow eyes. She had gray hair all over her face, her lips and ears drooped more every day, and lately she had developed a limp. The vet had just said it was her joints, and apart from a special diet and exercise routine, there was nothing we could do to help her. She was just gett
“How much for a night?”“A hundred even.”“Okay, I’ll take it.” I drove all day, filling up my tank once and now I was staying the night in a hotel. This would probably be the only time I would be able to do this, because I needed to save my money. But I was tired and still upset over having to abandon my mother, and I wanted to make a plan. The dusty looking old man at the desk gave me a room key and then shuffled off to do whatever it was dusty old men who ran weird run down hotels did.I went back out to my little white car and grabbed my bag out of the passenger seat. I shove my laptop that had been resting in my passenger seat in before locking and slamming the car door shut behind me. I sighed at the empty feeling in my belly. I should’ve grabbed some food before I stopped for the night, because my stomach was growling. I was really trying to save money though, and I had already spent a good chunk of change on this room and gas today. I had no idea how long I would have to look
Just like all the other times I’ve woken up in one of my dreams before, I suddenly find myself lying on the ground of a strange enviroment, inhaling oxygen into my lungs frantically and searching around desperately for clues as to where I was. I was even more desperate this time because of what I needed to accomplish in my short time here.I stand up, brushing… wood chips off my butt. Why was my ass covered in wood chips? I really looked around, taking in where I was. A barn. I think. I haven't actually been insisde one, but it certainly looked like what I thought one would look like. A big, empty barn. There were no animals or equipment just a few big empty stalls with long forgotten hay. All the windows and doors were closed, at least I assumed because it was extremely dark in here. Only a few beams of moonlight streamed through the gaps in the wooden walls. I looked towards the center of the room where I could see the outline of a… giant cage? Probably twelve feet high and tw
Fuck. I try not to cuss too often, only when I feel strongly about something. But that was the first word that popped into my head when I jumped awake in the dark, cold hotel room after my very bad dream. Except it wasn’t just a bad dream. I had always had a worry in the back of my mind I was going crazy, and none of this was really real. My mom’s reaction made me think I wasn’t, but come on? Visiting a handsome hunk in some fairy tale dream land? That’s not real.But now, I was sure what I was seeing was really happening. The fear in my chest was real, I was so sure of it.Not to mention, about three seconds after I opened my eyes, my arm where the woman had grabbed me was on fire. Not literally, but it felt like it. “What’s happening...” I mumble in panic as I throw the blankets off me in a hurried frenzy and struggle to click on the bedside lamp. My hands were shaking and my heart was racing so hard I could taste it in my throat. Tears threaten to spill over my eyes when I
Hello, Child. I sigh in happiness as I finally lay on the roots of my Alder almost an hour later. Chepi had brought her stool and her knitting again and was focused on it.But the conversation I wanted to have with my Alder was extra private today.I have something I want to ask you. I think, feeling a little silly.A secret from this woman you claim to trust. I nod against its roots. Ask away, child.Do you know anything about the Gud species? I turn away from Chepi and curl into a ball, closing my eyes and listening to the tree's words in my head.The Gud species is, as you suspect, descended from the original God, Forradd, who had great powers. He could change forms, manipulate the earth, and even time itself. Now Forradd was desperately in love with Sanju, the original goddess.I laugh a little. It kind of seemed like everyone's problems could be chalked up to loving someone.Pay attention. Sanju was originally a normal Alva, which is why she's depicted as having pointed ears, and
I sit up quickly, inhaling air into my lungs and looking around wildly.I was back in Erik's bed. But it was morning now, sun was streaming in through the window. I could hear wind chimes outside and smell bread baking somewhere. It felt early, but I remember it had been dark in my dream. I had lost a few hours.I rub my eyes, thinking about last night.That was the first time I had traveled through a dream since I came here. And this time no one could see me. The last time I was very much visible and interacted with people and talked. This time it was like I wasn't even there.The Gud species.I needed to find a way to find out about them. They seemed to be important. Honestly, the word kind of sounded like "God," and I wondered if they were the male version of the Gudinna species. Erik had said it was a line of women that descended from the original goddess, so with that in mind, was there a line of men that came from the original god? Was there an original god? I had way too many q
Soft footsteps approach my sleeping form in the window. My head leaned against the frame, the book I had made it halfway through open on my lap. The sun had set hours ago, the moon was but a hunk in the sky now, but still shone brightly on my sleeping figure."Sweet flower..." Erik approaches me, gently wrapping a strand of my hair around his finger when he does.He takes the book, closes it, and sets it on the ground beside the window. He scoops me up gently in his arms and carries me to his bed, where he brushes aside the curtain and crawls in with me in his arms.He sets me down like I'm made of glass and brushes my hair away from my face."Sleep well, my goddess." My heart tugs as he leaves, instead of curling up with me like I wanted him to.Where was he going?I could feel myself following him out of his room, but my body remained in his bed.I was dreaming, I knew that now. This wasn't like before, though. I drifted all through his house and outside, where he turned right and
"It's just over the hill now!" Reni calls from the front of the group of Alva. We had left early that morning, after I evidently fell asleep quite well, and had been walking for several hours now. It had taken a little longer than originally said, but it was still just after midday when Reni announced we were growing close.I slow and watch the other Alva disappearing over the hill, Erik last. I could tell he was anxious to get back to his land, but he was still lingering behind everyone else for my sake. I stood at the top once I reached it for a moment, taking it all in.I hadn't had a good vantage point of the land so far, Vacket, as Erik called it. From up here though, I could see it all.I could see Erik's house to the left, surrounded by tons of trees and mostly separated from the other buildings. Maybe a half mile down from his large estate was what I think was the medical wing. It sat atop a hill, and I could see a grove of weeping willows not far from it. I remember when I f
"Are you tired?" I look away from Reni and the other chatting Alva and to Erik, who is looking me up and down like he's checking for injuries.I shrug. "I guess." He ushers me towards the platform and behind the half wall, and sure enough, there is a large nest of clothes and animal pelts.He kneels down then on one knee and pats his bent one with his hand. "Give me your foot." I comply, watching him curiously as he starts removing my shoe. I can hear his men laughing a few feet away, but I can only focus on his gentle fingers untying the soft leather strings. "The other." He says once he's slid it off and set it aside. This foot is the one that still bears his anklet, and I saw him notice right away. "You still wear it." He says as he unties my shoe. I nod, even though he isn't looking at me. "Has anyone told you of its meaning?" He looks up at me, pulling my shoe off as he does. I shake my head, feigning ignorance. No one did tell me its meaning, I just happened to overhear it. He s
I eye the moving water that shimmers in the moonlight. I looked up. It was only half sized, but still shone quite brightly. It also seemed... closer in this world than in my old one. If that was even possible.I creep down to the water's edge. I didn't plan on taking my clothes off all the way. I don't have a towel, or soap, or a change of clothes. But I do sit on the shore and take my shoes off to soak my feet in the water. My feet hurt; I'd done more walking today through rough terrain than I'd ever done before. I sigh and close my eyes in relief at being freed from the tiny shoes I'd been given by Larkin.The water is cool when I finally wade into it, and the rocks stab into my feet. I look at my toes in the water.What a wild ride this has been.I missed my mom, and my home, but I was starting to get comfortable with Erik and the other Alva, which scared me a little. Was I really thinking about staying here? My mom said I wasn't allowed back, but did she mean that? If I showed up
"We'll stop here for the night."We'd been walking for hours, past even when the sun went down. Erik had kept suggesting we stop while glancing over at me, and Reni kept insisting we could make it home in just a few hours if we kept going. They went back and forth like that for a while, until Erik saw me stumble over a tree branch and decided I was simply too tired to continue, and we would be making camp for the night. I wasn't not tired, but I didn't want to slow everyone else down even more than I already was. Erik had said they'd gotten here in six hours on their own, but with me, we were already touching the ten-hour mark.Appparently I was quite slow.We'd found a half-crumbled building, the roof was gone, but the remaining walls stood twenty feet high. It would protect us from wild animals while we slept, Reni said with a firm nod as she examined the area."I'll make you a bed up here." Erik tells me. There's a raised platform that looks like it was once a kitchen, with half of
"Hm." Erik hums. He sighs, and looks away, then falls back and sits in front of me. He scoots as close as he can without sitting on the ring of flowers around me. They've stopped growing out, and are just getting thicker now, and starting to get a bit taller, I think. "Why does this make you a... "Dick." He puts air quotes around the word I'd used to describe myself. He probably had never used it like that before, and it sounded a little funny coming from him.I scoff and shake my head. "You don't care that I kissed him?" Why was I getting upset that he wasn't mad? I wasn't handling this well, but I couldn't stop for some reason. I think I was just irritated."I don't love it." He says gently. "But you also claim he left because you had made your choice already." I roll my eyes."Of course that's all you care about.""Would you like me to ask you how his lips taste?" I shoot him a glare, and he shakes his head. "I am sorry you're upset, my flower. But if you have truly made your choic
"Okay." Is all I say to Larkin. I have so much more in me though. I wish we could've spent more time together. I wish I could've known you better. I wanted to know what he looked like in the morning, and what he was scared of, and what he loved. I wanted to meet his siblings and learn about his life here. But I guess we were skipping all of that. We were going from epic, star crossed lovers, to strangers.In just a second.I hope we're together, in another life.He doesn't say anything, just walks off back towards where we came. I stand there, my heart beating in my chest, my blood flowing in my ears, and tears burning at my throat.That hurt, I can't lie.I say once again, I've never had a boyfriend, or a whatever the hell Larkin was to me. So, I'd never had to deal with letting someone like that go.It fucking hurt.I let a sob escape my lips and fall back against a tree, sliding down it and burying my face in my knees, sobbing like a child. I hated that in the end, we just ended u