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Chapter 52
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2021-04-29 11:21:00“You want me there when you tell her?” He asks me.
I shook my head, “No, I should be alone when I do. We never really talked about Chris… She only knows what my therapist told her, but we briefly talked about what happened.”
Elliot thought about this before turning back to me. “Alright. And you’ll call me after you talk to her?” he asked.
I nod and I closed my eyes again. “Yeah, I promise.”
Elliot didn’t say any more as I felt his arms holding me close again and I started falling asleep after a while once I was able to clear my mind from the nightmare. By morning, I woke up looking around for a second to see that I was by myself and I was thankful that I didn’t have another nightmare waking me up again. I still couldn’t believe that I ran into Chris at the pier, that he approached me, and saw that dark look in his face that always haunted me. I covered my face as I sighed heavi
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“Don’t ever show yourself to him…”Elliot was confused for a second before realizing what I was saying. “Why?” he asked.“I don’t want him to know about you if we ever see him again. I don’t want him to know anything about me.” I tell him.Elliot sighed, “Alright. But I don’t think anything else will happen if you see Chris again.”“Nothing will happen because that would be the last time we’ll ever see him,” I said as I grabbed his phone again and looked through his pictures.Elliot looked at me as I tried to ignore him and he sighed quietly. “We both know that we don’t know that for sure,” he tells me. “If I go with you or not to visit your dad, there is a possible chance that Chris would randomly show up or you can see him in the streets.”I didn’t say anything as I went through his playlist now and I didn&rs
Last Updated : 2021-04-29Don't Touch Chapter 54
Elliot watched me after it got quiet, “Go to prom with me.” he said.I turned to him confused for a second at the change of subject, “What?”“Go to prom with me. As a couple, out in the open.” He said. “Would you?”I didn’t say anything at first before I nod, smiling, “Okay. I will, but prom isn’t for another two months.”“I know, but I want to make sure that you’ll come with me,” he said as he kisses me. “I really want to enjoy my last year of high school with you.”“So, does that mean next year you’ll go to my prom?” I asked him. “Going to your prom would be the first time going to any sort of school dance; even though I don’t know how to dance.”“You never went to any of the dances at your schools?” he asked me.I shook my head, “I never thought much of them before and it wasn&r
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I gave in as we got ourselves ready then waited for Elliot outside the locker room to see what he’ll say about the plan and I wondered if he’ll disagree compared to our last visit when we went to the arcade. I wasn’t in the mood to be going out, honestly, but at the same time, I know that Luis is doing this for my well being and maybe it could be fun going out with more friends as he said. I saw Elliot looking confused for a second as he walked over to us, but smiled kindly to Luis possibly knowing that we have plans.“How are you, Luis?” he asked him.“I’m good,” he answered then took a breath. “So, would you mind if I steal your boyfriend for the day, or do you want to be our third-wheel?”I couldn’t help but smile at what he said before turning to Elliot, “Luis wants to take me to the arcade for a bit… Do you want to come?”Elliot didn’t answer right away, &ldquo
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Elliot parked the car two houses down and I followed right beside him walking up to the house then followed the instruction on my phone to walk towards the backyard by cutting through the driveway. I know they aren’t the types of people I used to hang out with before, but there was still that fear coming out to these people and this was my first time meeting up with a large group of friends in years so I can’t tell I was also feeling excited or shy. Elliot walked beside me as we walked over to the group once they saw us and I saw Luis waving at Jennifer.“Hey, you guys made it!” she said, smiling.“Who else is here?” I asked.“Everyone is here. I just got here with Alex.” She told me as she led us to a long table and I noticed the pool beside where everyone was sitting.“Cool,” Luis said as he saw the pool.I took a small breath and turned to everyone, “Hey.”We all star
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“What happened?” I asked, confused.“We saw you jumped in and we didn’t think much of it at first, but you never came up.” I can hear Jennifer say.“We waited, but when we noticed you weren’t coming up Elliot jumped in to get you,” Luis explained.“I told you to not jump on,” Elliot said as he was still breathing hard.“I was fine,” I told him.“Then why didn’t you come up?” He asked with a look of panic.“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.” I said as I looked at him before looking at everyone. “I really didn’t… I’m sorry.”Luis sighed before turning to everyone, “He seems fine. Let’s give them some space.” he tells them.Everyone fell silent as they slowly started to move away until it was just Luis. “Maybe we should leave once you guys are ready.” He tells us.
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"What if they don’t want me around after that?” I ask him.“So? I always say it doesn’t matter what they think.” He tells me.I thought about this before I turned to him, “I know… I know and I understand what you mean, but I actually like them so to me it does matter what they think of me. They aren’t really the type of people I would hang out with before, but they let me be with them and invited me over to their home.” I explained. “Maybe I won’t see them after high school is over, but if they want me in their group for the time being and let me continue to be their friend then I’m okay with that. I just feel like I have a chance to have friends and I shouldn’t just let them go by my mistake or because I can’t handle certain situations.”Elliot didn’t say anything for a minute, but he sighed softly. “Well, alright if that’s how you feel,” he said.
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“And have you told your parents? Do they know about your relationship?”“Dad…” I said before Elliot reached a hand out to stop me.“Well, I never really thought much about my orientation until I met Michael,” he began to explain to them. “I guess it never occurred to me that I could be bisexual since I never had any interest in someone of the same sex. So, I have not come out to them and I’m still shy about telling it to people, but I’m working my way around it by telling my parents next weekend.”My dad didn’t say anything as he returned to the grill then turned to him. “Well, the only advice I can say is that don’t take offense to what your parents say because they probably might not understand. I didn’t when Michael tried to tell me,” he said and my dad glanced over at me before turning back to Elliot. “Give it some time for them to adjust and talk to them s
Last Updated : 2021-05-22Don't Touch Flashback 7
"There’s a party going on tonight,” he said as he put his phone away. “We’re going.”“We? You never invite me.” I said, turning to him. “Also, you know I’m not that social and I don’t really have a reason to go…”“Come on,” Chris said as he pulled me to walk faster.“Why? I really don’t want to go.” I said as I frowned. “You never wanted me to go before.”“I want you to come with me this time and we never had any fun like this before.” He tells me.“I don’t drink or dance and I suck at socializing.” I listed and he wrapped his arm around me to pull me closer to him. “And your friends don’t like me so they would be upset if you bring me along.”“Which is why you need to loosen up, relax, and enjoy your teenage years!” He tells me as if it's so easy. “The more you g
Last Updated : 2021-05-28
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Don't Touch Chapter 18 [4-4]
We spent some time holding onto each other until it started to feel cold now that the sun was going down and the wind got a little stronger. I put on my shoes and then helped Elliot clean the blanket before making our way to the car. Elliot was asking what I would be interested in eating, maybe trying to help me be in the mood to have something filling, but I wasn’t too sure how much I could intake. I agreed with something as simple as pizza and we took it home, where my mom was waiting for us. There was this awkward silence around the table; I felt like Elliot wanted to talk with my mom and report about our day, always privately counseling her. I was barely able to finish two slices before putting my plate in the sink and I gave them their time as I excused myself to change my clothes. I washed my feet since it was dirty from stepping on the wet sand and when I came back to my room, Elliot was lying down on my bed. I didn't say anything as I grabbed a new pair of socks and moved to
Don't Touch Chapter 18 [3-4]
“Michael?” Elliot asked, wanting me to reply to his statement.“I’m listening,” I whispered, turning to look at him and thinking more about his words.“I don’t want you to be upset with yourself or to have any guilty conscience. It was just… I’m trying to inform you that this is also substance abuse or could even lead to it and you’ve used both alcohol and drugs in the past. This is aside from the fact that your friends pressured you to drink, if they continue with this, then you will blindly harm yourself in the long run. I’m actually surprised that you didn’t have that thought and it’s concerning.” Elliot tells me and it felt me speechless.I looked up at the sky and noticed the sun was beginning to set. “Can we not talk about this anymore?” I asked him.“I’m only telling you from the way I view it and I care about you. I don’t know how much you’ve explained to Doctor Brown about the situation, but with your reaction, it seemed like this is something that you haven’t made yourself a
Don't Touch Chapter 18 [2-4]
We both didn’t say anything as Elliot kept his focus on the road and I kept my eyes out the window seeing the view change. I always enjoy seeing the beach view and maybe being out would be a nice breather like he suggested. It took a bit of time for Elliot to find parking and we made our way over to an area that was less crowded. Now that we’re near summer, it was a nice day to be at the beach and it wasn’t so hot that I had to take off my sweater. As always, Elliot took out a blanket from the trunk of his car like he’s always prepared and we laid it out after we found a nice spot away from the pier. It felt like we were the only people on the beach, giving me this secure feeling.“Are you sure that you’re not hungry?” Elliot asked after noticing the time. “I’ll eat after we are done here,” I said while looking over the ocean view and seeing the water shining from the sunlight.“But you like to stay here for hours,” Elliot retorts and tilts his head to look at me closer.I shrugged m
Don't Touch Chapter 18 [1-4]
I sat up suddenly and felt my hands shaking, knowing I’d woken up from another nightmare. Why was this one real compared to the other one I had? Why did I remember something from the past that I was able to forget? No, I’m going to forget about it again like it never happened. I don’t want more memories from the past to resurface and affect me like before. It took me a moment to remember that I was in my bedroom and I reached a hand out to the spot beside me. I didn’t feel Elliot's hand and looked over to see his side of the bed empty. I tried to stay calm as I looked around my room trying to figure out if he had left while I was sleeping, but that wouldn’t be something that Elliot would do. “Elliot?” I called out in a small voice. Did he go home? No, he said that he was going to stay for a while and wasn’t going to leave without telling me. I tried not to feel overwhelmed as I pulled the covers off and checked the restroom, hoping he was in there. I stepped out to the hallway, hear
Don't Touch Chapter 17 [3-3]
For a second, I wondered if we shouldn’t be holding each other like this, but does this mean that he still cares for me, or is he only being kind? If we had been like this before I fell asleep, I might not have had that dream. The thought about the dream had me shivering as I recall Chris’s face and I moved a bit away from Elliot, but he still had me in his arms. He must have noticed my discomfort and I felt his hands patting my back, trying to comfort me. I’m starting to feel a bit of pain in the pit of my stomach and I know it’s all the stress from having the panic attacks to the night terror. “I’m tired,” I mumbled as I closed my eyes, feeling exhausted again. “You’re going to be tired the whole day if you don’t rest,” Elliot replied. “I know… I’m already getting a stomach ache,” I said, then sighed, feeling a little pain. “And I was feeling that earlier at my dad’s house.” “Do you need some medicine?” He asked me. “I think so,” I said, sitting up. “Stay here. I’ll get it for
Don't Touch Chapter 17 [2-3]
I closed my eyes, trying to get comfortable, and it felt easier to fall asleep with Elliot beside me. At least I know he is here supportively and he chose to stay the night because he wanted to; not just to watch over me out of spite. Even if he was here to comfort me and nothing more, I’m thankful he let me lean on him, even if it’s only for tonight. I opened my eyes, wanting a little peek, and he looked like he was already sound asleep; maybe he was already tired before coming to pick me up. There was something I wanted to ask him about our relationship, but I was also afraid to hear the answer, or I was only hoping for an answer that I wanted to hear. I turned over, away from him, and closed my eyes, knowing I was only trying to distract myself from sleeping. For a while, I could hear the soft breathing coming from Elliot, and hearing him was a nice reminder that I wasn’t alone. A sudden flashing light disturbed me and I raised a hand trying to block it; maybe I left the blinds op
Don't Touch Chapter 17 [1-3]
Chapter 17When we entered the house, I went to the kitchen and decided I needed my anxiety pill. “Do you want something to drink?” I asked him.“Water is fine,” He answered.I grabbed two bottles of water and handed them to him as we moved to sit on the couch. “You really don’t mind staying?” I asked him.Elliot took the bottle of water and had a small sip, “I don’t mind.”I moved to lean against the armrest and face him as we sat on the long couch. “Before I called you, I was in the guest room trying to relax but I was going through both panic attacks and anxiety,” I told him while looking down at the bottle of water. “All those feelings came to me that I began to doubt myself... Every time I see Chris, alarm bells go off in my head and my body yells that I need to leave. Runaway, hide, or find a way to disappear.”Elliot reached out to hold my wrist and the touch grabbed my attention, “And now your home, far away from him. Remember that he’s not going to hurt you here.”“Come on, E
Don't Touch Chapter 16 [4-4]
I looked into the living room, and I saw Ally on the ground playing with her toys while Caesar sat beside her, looking down at his phone. “When did she wake up?” I asked.He looked up and put his phone away, “About ten minutes ago… You look worse.”I moved to sit on the floor with them and Ally crawled over to me. “I called Elliot and he’s going to come by,” I told him and put Ally on my lap with her stuffed bear. “Is it okay if you wait until he gets here?”“Yeah,” He nodded as he reached into his pocket and handed me a paper. “They want you to call this number and you can tell them what happened. It’s Chris’s probation officer and they said that he will get a fine after breaking his restraining order.”I looked down at the paper, “A fine? That’s it?” I asked him.“Since he didn’t do anything, there isn’t much they can do besides that, and if he had done something, they could have him in jail for over six months,” Caesar said, leaning back to rest against the couch.“But that sounds
Don't Touch Chapter 16 [3-4]
It was quiet on the walk back to my house and Caesar laid Ally down on her crib after I showed him the way to the bedroom. I was able to calm down a bit, but my hands were still shakey and I knew that this anxious feeling wouldn’t go away. I watched as Caesar closed the door behind him and rubbed my arm nervously, taking the lead back downstairs. I led him to the kitchen to grab a cup of water and took a small sip while Caesar stood behind me, leaning against the counter. It's my fault for being careless and going out when I’ve already been warned that he’s back in town. What would have happened if I was alone or if Caesar didn’t show up at the right time?“Thanks for helping me,” I whispered.“Well, it wasn’t like he could do much without having to put himself in jail and I’m not sure how you would have been if he stayed longer.” He said and looked me over like he was being cautious with his words. “You should be careful having these panic attacks while holding your sister… It looked
