twenty one20th August, MondayI won’t apologize for not writing daily because I can’t keep up with a routine—you of all people know that.Seems like we all are hiding secrets from each other.But my question to you is that, are you keeping it a secret to protect me? Because you know why I kept all this shit from you, to protect you. From me.I don’t think you are protecting me by hiding it. I can see the words slut written on my locker, E. You can’t just go around punching every guy who passed by my locker. But it’s okay. They are just words and I am fine with it.You don’t have to do anything about it. I am fine.Love,Kiaratwenty two25th August, SaturdayDid I ever mention that you would make a great boyfriend? Not that we are in a relationship, but I could tell from eighteen years of us being best friends . . . and doing other deeds.Yeah, just wanted to get that out. I’ll get back to cuddling you because you’re already whining in your sleep. Even though you’re three times my si
PART TWO“I wish I had never loved you.”1. You Will Use the Safe WordEthanI stared deadly at the pen stand, my heavy-lidded eyes barely staying up. Fuck. I need to sleep. Then I remembered how I had slept last night and smiled. “Ethan!” My skin jumped, my eyes fluttering open and blinking at my agent, Elliot Warner, with wide innocent eyes. I rubbed my eyes and shuffled in my seat. I drawled, “What now? Am I getting detention again?” He sighed audibly, a sign that I had fucked up badly this time. Not going to lie, I had been fucking up since last year, so he has been sighing a lot. I wouldn’t be surprised if I was the reason behind the white thinning hair on his sides. “Not detention. But our sponsors are cutting the endorsement deals,” he ran a hand through his hair and sat down behind his massive oak wood desk and lit up a cigar. The stench of smoke woke me up from the hangover, my skin crawling with the need to put the cigarette in between my lips and inhale—No, we are not
2. Bedroom EyesKiaraI gathered all the test papers I had graded last night and organized them according to the students’ names while two pairs of eyes watched me from their tiny desks. Sighing, I raised my brow at them, “What happened? Why are you two frowning?”I couldn’t blame them. They were the only kids left in my classroom while others were in the cafeteria, having fun with their friends and eating lunch.Ben swung his legs, sitting on the desk. It wasn’t allowed, but I didn’t mind. “Do you really have to call in my mom, Miss Kiara?” he asked, his voice small. I gave him a reassuring smile and cleaned up the desk. “Yes, Ben, you know the drill. We call in parents when teachers need to talk to parents about some stuff.” I didn’t need to tell him all the details. He was still a kid. I would talk about it with his parents.Andrew Wu stopped doodling in his notebook. His light brown eyes, similar to his mom’s, narrowed in confusion. “What will you tell Mom? You talk to her ever
3. She was my Saving Grace tooEthan“So, you mean to tell me you punched him and went to cuddle with Aretta?” I glared at his smug grin through my sunglasses. “Yes, Liam, I went to meet Aretta but for other reasons. And I don’t cuddle.”“Yeah, right, as if I didn’t catch you cuddling Evey last month,” he said, opening the door of the café, the scent of freshly ground coffee wafting in my nose as I followed my friend. “She is my little sister.” I missed her a lot because I had to leave San Diego for NYU, and then I couldn’t spend as much time with her as I would like to. But I made it up to her and my parents every time I visited them. I met Liam again at NYU. He had applied for the same swim program that me and Rio had, so it was no surprise to find him there. Soon, we talked out everything between us, and since then, we have been good friends. We sat in the corner booth, because we didn’t need to draw attention to ourselves, and ordered breakfast. “So, how serious is HR?” He as
4. I feel like I Know YouKiaraI finished my look by adding gold hoop earrings and leaving my neck bare. Staring at my reflection in the mirror, I made sure that my hair and makeup were perfect and the red satin dress, which Jake had bought for me for this event, hugged my body perfectly. The material was soft and the full-length dress looked gorgeous with my golden skin. Straps of the dress were thin. The neck was a little deeper than I would like, but it showed a bit of my cleavage without looking too revealing with the low cut back. It was the Friday night of the fundraising gala where I would join Jake as his date. I felt a nervous tug in my belly and ran a hand through my dark brown hair tumbling down in waves over my shoulder. I didn’t know why I was so nervous suddenly. I had agreed to go with him because of the children fighting cancer. Taking a deep breath, I gave myself one last look in the mirror. I had subtle makeup on but a little red tint on my lips to match with the
5. I Missed YouEthanThat voice. Those eyes. That hair. Those lips. Her pupils widened, warm dark brown eyes gazing at my face, her body pressed against mine in a familiar way. The scent of black vanilla and coconut wafted in my nose, and I wanted to press her closer and lean down to bury my face in the crook of her neck and that familiar scent. Her fingers tightened over my shirt, scrunching the fabric when she let out a whisper of my name. “Ethan.”“Bella,” I replied, whispering her name like a prayer. I would have closed my eyes, but I was scared to open them and find her gone, just like waking up from those nightmares I used to have. I slid my palm over her back. She shivered. Her hair was much longer than before, brushing over my hand. She was truly here. With me. In my arms. “You are here,” I managed to say, my eyes raking over her stunning red dress. “You look beautiful, Kiara.” “You look . . .” her soft husky voice paused, her eyes darkening, but she closed them, shakin
6. I PromiseKiaraEthan was right, there were gulab jamuns for dessert after dinner. Jake invited him to sit with us when the dinner was announced, but he let us know that something urgent came up and he had to leave. Jake brushed it off, but I had spent eighteen years of my life with Ethan. I knew he was lying. He left because he didn’t want to create anymore tension between us, especially as I was engaged to Jake. “Hey, you have been thinking a lot.” Jake’s words snapped me out of my stream of thoughts, and I turned to him as he drove the car. “You okay, sweetheart?” We were going back to his house for the night, and my gut tightened into a ball and I didn’t know why. He entwined his hand with mine and kissed my knuckles. I smiled at him, squeezing his warm hand and adoring the ring on his finger. “I am more than okay. But I never thought I would see Ethan there.” Jake held my hand as we walked into his cozy house. Pictures of us smiling at each other framed in the bookshelf w
7. I Need your AssistanceKiara“And this is the swimming pool . . . as you can see,” I said, watching Ethan’s eyes light up when he noticed the pool and the bleachers. It was the next day after our dinner and Ethan had agreed to join the parents’ meeting in the school, because somehow in the span of a few hours, he could be the school’s interim swim coach. He had picked me up after lunch. Jake still hadn’t called. I had sent him a voicemail in the morning, but he hadn’t replied. Ethan walked around the empty swim hall, his hands in his pockets. “It reminds me of our school,” he whispered to himself, a small smile playing on his lips.“Yes, it does,” I said and walked toward the side to show him the locker room and the small office, keeping far away from the pool, because if I tripped in these heels, I was sure I was going to ruin my beige dress which I had chosen just for the parents’ meeting. “These are the male and female locker rooms. Mr. Davis said you can take over this offic
Bonus Scene TenEthan“How are you feeling now?” I asked Kiara who was lying down on the hospital bed wincing now and then because of the contractions. She tried to give me a reassuring smile, “I am okay, just waiting to hold them in my arms.” I kissed her forehead, smiling down at her beautiful brown gold eyes. “I will be right here, Bella. It’s going to be okay.” Squeezing her hand, I sat beside her, talking to her in whispers. Kiara’s water had broke the night before after dinner and we had settled in the hospital room, the nurse had mentioned that it will take a while before she can give birth as her diameter wasn’t wide enough. That was twenty-four hours ago. The twins were definitely taking time coming into the world. I made sure she was as relaxed as possible, feeding her and holding her when she got afraid, thinking about our previous miscarriages. My mothers arrived and talked with her while her teary-eyed father watched her from the distance, congratulating me. “Babe…”
Bonus Scene NineKiara“Baby please,” I begged, pouting and batting my lashes at my husband who was busy making a tie. “You won’t be late for the meeting, you know how much I want you.” The babies kicked at my stomach, making me caress my growing belly while I shamelessly ogled at Ethan. His tan skin and the way his shirt stretched over his shoulders. The same shoulders where my legs had stayed last night until he had made me cum with his mouth, ordering me to play with my nipples while he tongue fucked me to oblivion. He looked up at me with narrowed eyes which grew softer seeing me caress my heavily pregnant stomach. He walked closer and kissed my stomach, the babies kicking again, knowing their daddy’s touch. Ethan smiled and gave me a chaste kiss on the lips, making me frown. “No, Kiara,” he said sternly. “You said that last week and I was an hour late to the meeting.”“That was not my fault,” I argued back. “We had a quickie and then you told me—no, you ordered me to stay stil
Bonus Scene EightEthanAfter the dinner, three of us sat together for a while, drinking wine and listening to Khalid talk about his country. As he told us about the highly proficient education system, I pointed Kiara not to have another glass of wine. I didn’t want her to drink too much for what we were going to do later that night. I had promised her we would do anything she wanted, and I wanted to keep that promise. Only if both of us were sober. Khalid left, giving me a hug and congratulating both of us again. After thanking the staff for the delicious food, we went upstairs hand in hand. The sexual tension of what would happen next hovered heavily between us.I kept glancing at Kiara from the corner of my eye when she stripped out of her dress and wearing a flimsy white robe that did nothing to hide her beautiful curves. I had to control myself when she went to do her nighttime routine and joined her to brush my teeth in sweatpants. “Are you going to tell me what you want, Bell
Bonus Scene SevenKiaraI couldn’t handle the dry heat anymore and by the sound of sand and heavy wind, I had figured that we were in some type of dessert. I squeezed Ethan’s hand just to be relieved that he was still sitting beside me in the car. “Come on, Ethan, tell me where are we going,” I asked him, touching the blindfold around my eyes which he had tied when we landed on the ‘surprise’ place from a private plane. “I know it’s some type of dessert.” “Wait a little longer,” he said, his voice husky and sounding deeper than before. “Have patience, Bella.” I tried to relax in the leather seat but I couldn’t, shifting nervously and fumbling with my fingers on the lap. I wanted to know where he was taking me. I wanted to know what the surprise was. I wanted to see him, my Ethan. I wanted to kiss him and make love to him. The past few days after our Indian wedding, we were busy with having everything ready for our honeymoon trip and Ethan wouldn’t tell me where we were going. He ev
Bonus Scene SixEthan“You look like an Indian Prince, sweetheart,” my mom said, helping me with the red turban I had to wear with the red and golden shervani. It stretched over my broad shoulders and tapered down to my waist, reaching my knees. It was beautiful with intricate designs and patterns of gold. My mom was exaggerations, as most mothers do, but I could feel that I looked special wearing it. Like a Prince or King ready to marry his bride and whisk her away. I wondered how beautiful my Bella would look tonight wearing her bridal lehenga. My mothers had prohibited me from seeing it and Kiara agreed with them. I was suppose to see her at the mandap tonight with everyone else. Sadly, I won’t be able to ask her to remove her underwear like I had during our western wedding because I knew it might make her uncomfortable in the lehenga. Liam, Rio and Volt were ready wearing the similar shades of blue in a shervani with the blue turban. Both of my mothers dotted on them, applying
Bonus Scene FiveEthanI was surrounded by Kiara’s uncles and aunties, pinching my cheeks and applying some kind of turmeric paste on my arms and face and feet. Kiara had mentioned that Haldi ceremony would include strangers applying the paste on your skin with Mango leaves to get glowing skin on the day of wedding, but I didn’t think people would take this so seriously. Liam said that Kiara was getting the same treatment and I hope she was doing okay. Indian traditional music with various classical instruments played in the background, people talking and laughing as they enjoyed themselves with Indian sweets. I was sure that I had gained six pounds just by inhaling the delicious food and snacks that were going around. “Hey.” I asked Liam, “What’s up with you and Deepika? Kiara’s cousin?” His grey eyes turned to me, his eyebrows raising a fraction. “What do you mean?”I rolled my eyes, “Liam, I have known you since you were seven, I noticed—even Kiara did, how you looked at her.”H
Bonus Scene FourKiara“Are you sure you don’t want to drink wine?” Katherine asked, shuffling her gorgeous navy blue bridesmaid dress. “I even snuck in a bottle of gin for you.”Anya shot her a warning look and walked up to stand beside me. She looked stunning with her features sharp, her silky black hair woven in a low bun. “Do you need anything, Kiara?” “No, thank you, Anya. I am feeling a little overwhelmed wearing this dress. It feels unreal,” I ended with a nervous chuckle, my hands smoothening over the white satin of the wedding dress. It hugged the curves of my body and even showed little cleavage. It was modest, but it was stunning. I felt beautiful in it. Anya squeezed my shoulder in reassurance while Katherine told me to take a small gulp of gin. They both started talking about how it was not a good idea for the bride to reek of alcohol on her wedding day, moments before she walks down the aisle. I was too distracted by the nervous flutter in my belly, knowing that I was
Bonus Scene ThreeKiaraMy aunt wanted to talk to me, and sadly, I had to go with her. Ethan was pouting at me when I had to leave. I was sad because I wanted to spend some time with him before the wedding.I bit back my smile and followed my aunt. I still couldn’t believe that I would be Ethan’s wife and he would be my husband. I shivered thinking about sharing my life with that man who looked devilishly handsome in the navy blue kurta waiting for me in my childhood bedroom. My fingers roamed around the rim of my engagement ring. This is real. We are getting married. I had been following my aunt while she introduced to me my entire family which was currently together in dad’s hometown to celebrate Diwali. I might have to ask Ethan to massage my back because it had started aching after bowing so much and accepting everyones blessings. A nervous giggled escaped my throat when an old lady who was my father’s neighbor smacked a kiss on my cheek, holding my head. My aunt held back her l
Bonus Scene TwoEthan“Are you sure?”I cleared my throat and looked at Kiara. She squeezed my hand, nodding reassuringly at her father and grandmother. She looked so fucking beautiful in light makeup, her blood-red lips, the small bindi on her forehead and wearing large earrings, jhumkas, on her ears. Her hair tumbled down her hot red blouse and just thinking about that morning, watching her get ready in the sari made me squirm in my seat. Was it bad that seeing her in Indian clothes made me want to lock us in a room and fuck her while she was wearing a sari?Hold it in your pants, Eiffel. Not the right time to think about Kiara in her sari and how hot she looks.My eyes averted to the man who was drilling holes in my skull and swallowed the lump in my throat. “Yes, papa. In how many languages do I have to answer you?” I took a sharp breath, hearing her voice. She was clearly not amused by her father’s question. Mr Vijay Sharma looked at me as if I was asking his permission to reco