Chapter 4 : Desire

Ava

I toss and turn in my bed, unable to sleep, the thoughts of Liam swirling around in my mind. He was so kind, and God, he’d looked so good last night—thoughts of his lips against mine are eating away at me.

I try to stop thinking about him—aggressively, even—but if it isn’t him, I’m obsessively thinking about how my dad is. It’s not like I can afford to take off to Chicago again, but I can’t get the image of him, so sad and alone, out of my head. I groan, burying my face in my pillow and praying for sleep. It’s too much—all of this is such a mess, and I am so tired.

I don’t even notice when I fall asleep until I wake up with the sunrise, still feeling every bit like an exhausted college student.

Enough is enough.

My hands are clammy as I glance at the clock, wondering if it's too early to call. Seven in the morning isn’t a bad time, right? Theoretically, it’s before most people go to work, so…

My thumb hesitates over the contact before following through, and I blow out a breath. He said he was going to help me, so this should be fine, right? The phone rings in my hand, and I wince at the sound, staring out the window with a grimace.

My heart races as the phone rings, my mind going over what I'm about to say. It's still early, and I can't believe I'm actually making this call. When the call connects, I hear Liam's voice on the other end, and for a moment, I'm caught off guard, unsure of how to start.

"Hello?" His voice is low and warm, carrying the slightest hint of sleepiness.

"Hi, Liam," I manage to say, my voice a tad shaky. "It's … it’s Ava."

There's a brief pause, a shuffling on the other end, and then his tone becomes more alert. "Ava, is everything okay?"

I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself. "I need to talk to you. It's about my dad and ... everything that's been happening."

He's quiet for a moment, and then he replies, his voice serious. "Of course, Ava. I'm here to help. Where are you right now?"

"I'm at my apartment," I respond softly, glancing at my door. It doesn't sound like Emma is up yet, but I’d hate for her to overhear anything. I was lucky she had been asleep when I’d made it in the night of the party, and then we’d missed each other with our conflicting class schedules.

I take a steadying breath. "I was wondering if we could meet and discuss things in person."

He doesn't hesitate.

"Absolutely. I'll send a car to pick you up." The fact that he's willing to meet with me so early in the morning is … heart-warming. I bite my lower lip, trying to wipe the goofy smile off my face.

"Thank you, Liam," I say sincerely.

"It's no problem," he assures me. "I'll make sure someone is there to pick you up shortly."

I hang up the phone, my hands trembling slightly. It's really happening—I'm going to see Liam again, and this time, it's not going to be at a party or a social event. My stomach swoops at the thought, but I try to shrug it off.

As I wait for the car to arrive, I take a moment to freshen up and pull myself together. My heart won’t stop racing, but I guess that can’t really be helped. Every time I think of Emma's dad, I’m flooded with butterflies like a little girl with a crush. It’s actually a little mortifying if I let myself think about it too long.

The car arrives sooner than I expect, and I take a deep breath before heading downstairs to meet it. Emma is still asleep, and I thank anyone listening that I don't have to explain myself as I scurry outside.

The ride to Liam's penthouse is both thrilling and nerve-wracking. I can't help but replay our interactions in my mind—the way he looked at me, the kiss at the party, and the conversation we had about my dad. It's all so overwhelming, and I can hardly believe this is my reality now.

I press both of my icy hands to my cheeks because my face is burning. I let out another long breath. The driver gives me a look in the rearview, and I beam a smile at him, reaching for my phone to entertain myself.

When we arrive at his building, I step out of the car, looking up at the impressive skyscraper. I'm escorted up to the penthouse level, and my heart races as I approach his door. It opens before I even have a chance to knock, revealing Liam standing there.

"Ava, it's good to see you," Liam greets me warmly, stepping back to let me inside.

Is it? I hope so because one of us deserves to enjoy this whole awkward encounter, and apparently, it will not be me.

"Thank you for seeing me on such short notice," I reply, my voice tinged with both gratitude and apprehension. I hope it comes across as … maybe not professional, but at the very least respectable. At least, not as anxious and small as I feel the moment I see the spectacular view of the city he has from his penthouse.

He closes the door behind me, and as he leads me further into the apartment, he says, "Of course. I understand this is a difficult time for you." I pretend not to hear the amusement in his voice at my stiff reply, instead looking anywhere but the sleep-rumpled version of Liam.

He hasn’t bothered to get ready, obviously. His legs are clad in gray sweats, and he is wearing a white tee that stretches across his broad chest in a way that should be illegal. Liam’s dark hair is delightfully untidy as he runs his fingers through it, turning to face me.

"I've already secured a lawyer who is working on getting your father out of jail."

Shock hits me squarely in the chest, and his lips tilt into a grin that I’m quickly becoming familiar with.

“What?”

“It took a bit of work,” he admits as if that is the part I am reeling over. “But from what I hear, he’s one of the best in the Chicago area, so I don’t foresee any issues.”

Tears sting my tired eyes, and I clear my throat, resisting the urge to rub at them as I respond. "Thank you, Liam. You have no idea how much this means to me and my dad."

His expression softens, and his smile becomes more genuine than teasing. "I'm here to help, Ava. Whatever that entails."

“I was going to—”

“But you shouldn’t have to,” he says as if he knows exactly what I am going to say, and I blink rapidly to clear my eyes. “You should be focusing on your classes and your job, is all I mean. I’m more than happy to handle things like this for you.”

It makes sense, I guess, since he is footing the bill for it. I nervously pluck at a loose string on my sleeve, nibbling at my lower lip as I try to compose myself. I completely fail, clearing my throat a bit.

“Still … thank you.” The tears overflow, and I grimace, giving a watery little laugh. Liam steps closer to me, gently wiping the tears off my face even as I try to wave them off. He holds my face in his hands, tilting my face up to meet his. Those dark eyes lock onto mine, and I struggle not to squirm at their intensity.

"It’s all going to be okay, Ava," he says softly, his voice filled with sincerity. "Your dad will get through this, and we're going to do everything we can to help him."

But I’m not even thinking about that anymore.

I’m hung up on the rough feel of his hands against my cheeks—the tiny flecks of green in his overwise brown eyes. My gaze darts to his plush lips despite my best efforts, and they twitch as he leans in, his lips coming dangerously close to mine. My heart races, and for a moment, I think he's going to kiss me again.

I want him to kiss me again—just one more time—just to clear it out of my system.

But just as our lips are about to touch, his phone rings.

Being so close, I see the moment he realizes what he’s doing, the way he douses the fire that was burning in his eyes before stepping back. His gaze darts to his phone, sitting innocuously on the coffee table, and I try not to look forlorn when he pulls away completely.

"I'm sorry, Ava. I need to take this call—was that all you wanted to talk about?” For some reason, the dismissal in his tone stings, but I try to brush it off.

Knowing how I must look, I nod as I clear my throat again, swiping at my tender eyes. "It's okay. I should get going anyway."

We share awkward smiles as I head toward the door, but I can’t help but glance back at him when I open it.

He’s beautiful, even doing something as simple as answering the phone, and our eyes meet one last time before I step outside his apartment, my heart still racing from the near-miss of our almost-kiss.

My emotions are all over the place—gratitude, desire, and a touch of confusion. Liam was so close to kissing me, and part of me wonders if I'd misread the situation entirely. Is he actually interested in me, or was it just a momentary lapse in judgment?

I’m happy to know that my dad is getting help, and I have classes in an hour anyway. But I can’t shove the desire I feel down.

I want him—badly.

The attraction is undeniable, and I can’t shake off the feeling that there is something more between us. As I walk out of the building and into the city streets, I try to focus on my responsibilities, pushing aside the thoughts of Liam and the unresolved tension between us.

There’s nothing to be done about it anyway. Emma would be horrified, and I love having her as my roommate. There is some girl-code about not sleeping with your best friend’s dad … right?

I shake myself just as the driver flags me down, looking a bit surprised that I’ve taken off down the sidewalk.

“Mr. Johnson has requested I take you home, Miss Williams.”

Of course, he did.

I sigh as I get back into the car, staring out the window and willing myself to let this go.

But I can’t make myself push the feelings down. Sighing, I admit to myself what I refuse to say out loud.

I desperately want my best friend’s dad.