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249 Skin to Skin

(Jayden)

I can’t explain the feeling of holding Henry against my bare chest. It’s more than just warmth, more than the soft rise and fall of his tiny body.

It’s like every fear, every worry I’ve had about him since the day he was born melts away.

My protective drive for him is consolidated as I cradle him in the crook of one arm and keep him against me. I love him so much.

We love him so much. Ashlyn would be proud. But then again, Ashlyn didn’t want to be his mother.

Ashlyn chose to give up her rights as his parent. That makes me wonder, if we’d stayed married and she’d had the baby and we’d played happy families, how would it have all ended up?

She never wanted motherhood but she would have forced herself to keep me. It brings me back to just how broken Ashlyn was. It was never meant to be with her.

I could never have loved her like I love Winona now.

I know how rejection on that parental level feels. I’m so glad Henry will never feel that. Winona is and always will be his mothe
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