166 Higher Power

(Ashlyn)

I sit on the edge of my narrow bed, the cold, sterile walls of the facility pressing in on me. The room is small, with nothing more than a bed, a table, and a chair.

It’s a far cry from the luxury I was used to, but it’s fitting. I don’t deserve anything better. Not after everything I’ve done.

The silence here is deafening in its way, but it gives me time to think, to reflect on everything that’s led me to this point.

I’ve spent countless hours replaying the past in my mind, dissecting every action, every decision, every hurtful word.

I’ve talked to my psychiatrist and, more importantly, listened.

And I’ve come to realize just how wrong I was. How wrong Judy is.

About everything.

But it’s not just the talks and the thinking, there’s a higher power at play here. Now I know there’s something out there bigger than all of us, it was easy to accept responsibility.

Easy for me to want to be a better person.

When I think about Winona and Jayden, there’s a knot of guilt that tigh