Chapter 30"Love is not about how many days, months, or years you have been together. Love is about how much you love each other every single day." — Unknown“Not here,” he whispered against my ears. “Not out here in the open.”I tried to pull him back as he rose to his feet, not ready to stop, not wanting to stop. But as he pulled away, I had no choice but to stand as well, suddenly feeling ashamed of myself for my want on behaviour. I was angered by his rejection and desperately wanted to get as far away from him as I could. As I made to shove past him into the house, he held my hand…and I melted into butter all over again.“My queen, you are everything I have ever dreamt of,” he said, planting small kisses from my hand all the way up my arm and right up to my shoulder blade. “Everything.”I closed my eyes and groaned softly as his lips now wandered along my neck. Never before had I felt this kind of sexual desire. With the three
Chapter 31"The heart wants what it wants. There's no logic to these things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that's that." — Woody Allen“I’ll never forget the first day I saw you,” he said later on, as we sat leaning on a boulder, his arm draped around my neck, and my head on his chest. “It was in the fruit market, and you were there with the older housekeeper. I didn’t think you were a real human being. In fact, I thought you were a goddess or something. You didn’t look like you were from this world.”I smiled. “I’m sure you were still in your diapers then, so you hadn’t seen much of the world yourself.”He chuckled. “You’re not that much older than I am, Zeynep. Three years is nothing in today’s world.”“It’s four actually, and that’s plenty where I come from,” I answered, the smile on my lips fading. “You’re too young for me, Jason. This can’t lead anywhere.”He titled up my chin. “Says who? Make no mistake about it, zeyne
Chapter 32"When love is lost, do not bow your head in sadness; instead, keep your head up high and gaze into heaven, for that is where your broken heart has been sent to heal." — UnknownYou’re not up for anything? I see. No problem,” he said with a stiff smile. “I guess that means you will forfeit what I brought for you then.”I shrugged, totally indifferent. “That’s fine.” Nothing he could possibly have brought could be of any interest to me.As I walked away, I felt like I had won the lottery. Ibrahim would never again have access to my body. I couldn’t help feeling regretful that I wouldn’t present myself as a virgin when Jason and I finally did make love. But I knew he didn’t mind. I knew he had accepted me just the way I was, and it made me love him all the more.But then things took a morbid turn.One morning, as I descended the stairs for breakfast, I heard madam Maria wailing from the kitchen. Rushing there, I saw her s
"The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to." — Elisabeth Kübler-RossI looked from madam maria to the others standing around. It was then that I noticed their averted gazes, none of them able to make eye contact with me. They knew. They all knew.I shrugged out of madam maria’s grip and turned around to walk back to the house. All the chatter had ceased, and the only sound was from the birds chirping obliviously in the trees. It was only then that I realised that I was barefoot, my slides having come off my feet in my mad dash to the gate.The hot ground burned me in my walk of shame, and once again in my life, I wished for death. I cursed God for delighting in taking away those I loved, those I
Chapter 34"Sometimes, the most brutal chains are the ones that exist in the mind, and no matter how far you run, they follow you everywhere.” Unknown I was eating my last piece of toast when I heard his voice…the voice of the devil.Ibrahim.I looked out and saw him strolling into the house, talking on his mobile phone. How dare he show his face after the horrible thing he had done? I walked to the door and watched him as he talked and laughed so casually, not acting like he had the blood of six innocent people on his hands.“zeynep, you look so beautiful this morning,” he remarked as he got off the phone, a coy smile on his face. “I asked after you yesterday but was told you were…indisposed.”I glared at him, hating him with every fibre of my being, wanting to claw out his eyeballs. He knew exactly what had confined me there.“Such a shame about that gardenerboy…Jason. Was that his name?” he asked, his smile mocking.And I saw red.I r
Chapter 35"When tyranny becomes law, rebellion becomes duty." Thomas JeffersonI knew I had to leave…for good.Later that night, when I was sure the minister would have returned, I decided it was time to inform him of my decision to return to India. I was also determined to let him know about all Ibrahim's atrocities. Yes, he might have been aware of some of them, but he needed to know his son was also a cold-blooded murderer.Even though my body was throbbing with pain, I slipped into my sandals and slowly made my way up the flight of stairs that separated his room from mine. Getting to the door, I tapped as hard as my wounded hand could manage.“Come in!” he bellowed.When I walked in, I was relieved to find that he had no female company that night. He gave me a cursory look, his only acknowledgment of my battered appearance a slight arch of an eyebrow. Other than that, he said nothing.“I would like to return to India,” I said, going straight to the point. “I
Chapter 36"She was not born with a heart of stone, but the world had chiseled it into one." Unknown A robot. A robot is what I became after the Jason incident. After realising that my family’s safety, and even mine, would be in jeopardy if I left the ranch, I resigned myself to my fate. I switched to auto-pilot mode, focusing on my living and breathing moments, never on my tragic past, and most definitely not on any lofty hopes for the future. I had no future outside of these four walls. I stayed. I stayed on as the minister's ornamental wife, good for a show but nothing else. I ignored the stream of concubines he continued to take, and put on a bright smile when I had to be on his arm at public functions. I allowed myself to enjoy the caprices of his renewed desire to ensure I looked the part of a multi-millionaire's wife. I allowed myself to indulge in the expensive clothing and even more expensive skincare, ensuring that, as t
Chapter 37"There is no such thing as coincidence, only the illusion of coincidence." — Alan MooreWe were far more alike than I wanted to accept. However, I knew that, given the chance to humiliate me, he would jump at it, so this made me savour and enjoy his own humiliation. He left the very next day.As for my sleepwalking, not only did it resume after Jason died, it got worse…so much worse. So dead was I to the world that I was now wandering further and further from where I would normally go. Even though the domestic staff were very protective of me and always were sure to see me back to my bedroom without anyone else being privy to what had happened when any of them found me, it soon got to the extent that even they couldn’t hide my worsening condition. It was when the security men guarding the ranch at night mistook me for a thief and shot at me, the bullet missing me by mere inches, that the minister decided enough was enough. He took me to se
"And suddenly you know… It’s time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings." – Meister EckhartHer eyes clouded with tears, and I turned back to look at the officer. “Can I speak with her in private first?” When he hesitates, I add. “I promise, she’ll answer all your questions later. Just give me the chance to talk to her first…to get her more comfortable.”That seems to do the trick, and he nods in agreement. I look at Ibrahim and Yusuf, and neither one expresses any reservation.Taking Catherine's hand, we enter the old vintage house. “Are you the only one home?”She nods, her body shaking like a leaf. “Zeynep, I didn’t know she was going to do it. Please, don’t let them take me.”“Nobody is going to arrest or take you,” I coax her.She wipes her eyes. “I know you’re angry with me. Angry because of…”“Because of the minister ? Catherine, you should know better. I wish you had trusted me enough to tell me. I thought we were friends,”
“Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win.” — Stephen King“Poor girl, you don’t know how much I pitied you every time you came here, thinking she was your friend,” he said, still looking at me. “Almost from the moment you arrived, she did everything she could to get you out. I used to shake my head as she encouraged you to continue to receive that one,” he beckoned at Ibrahim with his chin, “in your bed, deceiving you that it was the only way to have some footing in the house, though she knew full well that the more accepting you were of his son, the more it angered Omar and pushed you away from him. She thought he would have sent you away years ago and didn’t anticipate you staying for as long as you have.”“But the minister had so many other women. Amanda, Clara, Lauralee, Clementina…just to name a few,” I say, my head still spinning. “I was the least of her problems.”“You were the one he ca
“The axe forgets, but the tree remembers.” — African Proverb“Where is maria?” Ibrahim demands.That soon becomes the question on everybody’s lips. Where is madam maria?Mary answers when she is summoned to the room. “I don’t know where she is. She hasn’t come upstairs today.”That in itself is an ominous sign, as madam maria has not for one day missed coming up from her basement apartment. Even when she hasn’t felt her best, she has at least ventured up to monitor the progress of work.“Let’s not get too hasty,” I pleaded. “Anyone could have intercepted the minister's meals. Let’s not jump to the conclusion that she did it.”“I agree,” Yusuf supports. “There’s no way madam maria could have done such a thing. Have you seen the state of her since he died? She’s even taking it worse than the rest of us.”“Nobody is suspecting her,” officer mark clarifies. “It’s just important that I ask her a few questions about who she believes might have had a
“Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.” — Michael CorleoneNobody left the table, and their meals remained untouched. Ibrahim, I’m not surprised about, as I know he is determined to watch me like a hawk so I don’t escape. I’m not surprised about Yusuf either, as his fondness for me has made him distressed about the unfolding situation. But kamsir…I just can’t figure out the sudden about-turn in his behavior towards me. It simply makes no sense at all.A little under an hour later, officer mark walks into the room.“Good morning, all,” he greets. “Forgive me, but I had a meeting with the head of security in the country at Washington, hope you know the minister’s death hasn't been taken lightly . May I?” he asks, beckoning at a seat and proceeds to sit when Ibrahim gives a dismissive wave of the hand. “So…you say you have found the killer?” There is no mistaking the cynicism in his voice.“There she is,” Ibrahim answers, pointin
“We are all sinners, but some of us are better at it than others.” Ruthless People by J.J. McAvoyI don’t fight as my mouth and nostrils fill with water. Instead, I close my eyes and pray that the end will be quick. I push myself further down, trying to hurry the process. I hear water splashing from the tub to the floor and push myself even further still. It is better for me to leave this world than to continue to hurt the people around me.The water has started to overwhelm my body and my breathing has started to falter when I hear what sounds like screaming. I struggle as I am abruptly pulled out of the water, fighting off the hands holding me, wanting desperately to return to my watery grave. But the person who has botched my mission will have none of it. “Help! Help! Somebody help!” kamsir shouts, wrestling with me. He soon overpowers me and is able to lift me out of the bath.Seated on the floor, I am now coughing and spluttering, water seeping
"The conscience is a wound that never heals and no balm can ease its pain. You can run from the law, deceive the world, and silence the voices of others, but the voice within—that merciless whisper of truth—echoes louder with every breath. There is no punishment greater than the knowledge of the wrong you have done, no prison tighter than the guilt you carry. And when your sins are dressed in the blood of the innocent, even redemption begins to look away." — Unknown“jacobi ? Jacobi that was just talking to us inside?” Yusuf exclaims. “How is that even possible?”Jacobi puts up no resistance as the police bundle him into their van, and there are more shouts of disbelief as the car drives off. Nobody can believe that the mild-mannered doctor is the one who has committed such a horrible crime, the vicious killer on the loose.“I said it, but you all thought I was crazy,” comes Ibrahim’s voice, as he emerges from the crowd. “I said it was that d
“Grief was the celebration of love, those who could feel real grief were lucky to have loved.” — Chimamanda Ngozi AdichieAs we drove up to the ranch, there were dozens of people at the gate. News of the minister’s death has reached the media and, as expected, their grief is palpable. The movement restriction is still on, with nobody allowed into or out of the premises. Getting to the house, I am surprised that the number of policemen there seems to have doubled. I’d thought that with the chief officer in the station, there would be none of them at the ranch, but there they still are, pretty much everywhere you turn.I ask for my lunch to be delivered to my room, and I am asleep very shortly after eating it, mentally and physically exhausted. With the mystery of the minister's murder still rife, whether we like it or not, we are all prisoners in the house, even the prospective groom. I feel saddened that the reason for Yusuf’s trip back home has bee
"Some wounds run too deep for the eye to see; they bleed in silence, beneath layers of performance." — UnknownAfter a quick shower, I manage to nibble on some biscuits as I sit in the living room with all the doors open, watching as the police talked to the staff in the dining room, one after the other. When Yusuf and Ibrahim return, the police officer who I learned was the head of the Boston department,named Mark, asks to meet with all four of us again.“I’ve already sent a request to the hospital, for them to make arrangements for an autopsy,” he says. “I believe that will help put everyone’s mind to rest.”“Is it really necessary? Isn’t it obvious the way he died?” Ibrahim asks. “He was stabbed in the stomach and had a chair broken over his head. The evidence is there for all to see.”“Yes, but we still have to conclude which of the two injuries killed him, Sir,” he answers. “We also spoke with all the staff. One of them has been arrested as a poss
"You can’t play the game if you’re afraid to get your hands dirty." — Ruthless People by J.J. McAvoyI am drifting in and out of listening to the conversation the Police officer is having with Ibrahim and Yusuf.Kamsir is still sitting lifelessly on the bed, and the crowd of domestic staff loitering by the door has been dispersed. I look again at my husband’s body, sprawled on the floor, soiled with blood, vomit, and if the smell in the room is anything to go by, feaces. What a sad, shameful, and ungraceful way to go!And I loved it!!!“But, you had already left,” I say, finally finding my voice. “You left in the morning, under very unpleasant circumstances. How come you were around to have wine with him late at night? I saw him with kamir at about 8pm, and you weren’t with them.”All eyes turn to me, bewildered, until Ibrahim points at his chest, “Are you talking to me?”“What unpleasant circumstances?” the officer asks.“Nothing. It was just a small family misu