“Why do you like thunderstorms?” “Because it shows that even nature needs to scream sometimes” by EB Zeynep Pov They say everything happens for a reason. I don't know who “they”are but I know it is said that:there is a reason for everything, good or bad. Three years ago, I might have disagreed but as I crouched down looking at myself in the puddle. I couldn't help but understand the saying. When ummi died I was completely and utterly devastated, I was scared and I thought that I wouldn't be able to live life without her. Guess what I was right. That's when I started my uncontrollably suicide attempts but Allah didn't want me. But then I remembered the verse mama always read to me. Allah didn't abandon me,nor did he forget me (93:03 Quran) But it was all a lie,he too abandoned me. He left me when all I have ever done was to be devoted to him, I never strayed even when I had reasons to. I recited my shahadah everyday to keep my faith strong. I recited the subhan al
“You could stab her on the chest but she would still apologize for bleeding all over you” By: Unknown The rain outside was cruel but it felt like it was crying with me. Every crack of thunder seemed to match the beating of my heart, the trembling of my body. Abbu had left me in the kitchen after the last round of slaps, but it still felt like I was being slapped I worked as fast as my aching body would allow. My ribs were on fire, and my vision blurred from the pain. Every movement was a struggle, and every breath felt like knives stabbing into my side. But I had to finish preparing his food. If I didn’t, I knew what would come next. Orion and Damien were nowhere to be found now, as usual. They had seen enough to know better than to intervene. They left me alone with the monster we called father, always watching from the shadows but never daring to lift a finger to stop him. It was easier for them, I suppose, to pretend nothing was happening. Abbu never lays
“The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel it's warmth” African proverbs The next morning, the house was too quiet. But that was expected considering the fact that I was awake by 4 because I needed to cook and clean before going to school. But the silence was different this time around. It wasn’t the comforting quiet you might get after a long day, but the kind that suffocates you, the kind that makes you afraid of breaking the silence. The kind that makes you feel like something bad is about to happen. I was still sore, every inch of my body protesting as I moved. My ribs ached with every breath, my wrists bore the bruises from where Abhu had grabbed me, and the weight of everything that had happened the night before sat heavy in my chest. But I had to get up. I had to keep moving, no matter how much I wanted to lie there and disappear. I forced myself out of bed and into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. As I
“ Am still and silent because if I open my mouth I may never stop screaming” Franz kafkaI knew the decision that was already made for me was going to change life but I wasn't sure if I should be happy or sad. In a matter of days Abbu had managed to upgrade his standard of living, he got promoted and he managed to get a new car. The man that used to beat me almost everyday was almost non-existent. Almost.I knew my fate was finally sealed when I heard him discussing the details of what would be a small ceremony.When I dreamt of my wedding I imagined a Cinderella setting, I saw myself in a white ball gown with the man I love waiting by the altar for me . Life isn't a fairytale, there is not always going to be a happy ending. Happy endings end in Disney. I know that now. The wedding took place in our small living room, only my father and his two brothers were present and none from my mother's side. I was sad about it but I wasn't s
“Walls have wars Doors have eyes Trees have voices Beast tell lies Beware the rain Beware the snow Beware the man you think you know.” Songs of sapphiqueSome hells were designed to look like heaven. The moment we turned into the street, I could immediately identify his house. Standing regal at the end of the street, on at least 1,000 acres of land,the 3-storey building looked like a cross between a church and a hotel, with its large pillars and cathedral-like windows, juxtaposed with modern lines and elaborate lighting. It stood out like a sore thumb, not only on its quietstreet but the entire sleepy neighborhood. It was everything I’d read about in books and so much more. From the gate to the house was a full five-minute drive, and I marveled at the sheer expanse of the compound, complete witha small pond and peacocks running around the lush greenery.
“What if I never find love?” “ Don't worry, then. Love will find you”“How?” “ In its mysterious and magical ways” “Why?”“Because souls like you deserves to be loved” By: unknown Later that night, I was already back in the room that was given to me and I was getting ready to sleep when there was a knock on the door. Opening it, I was equally relieved, surprised and frightened to see that it was the minister.“Welcome, Sir,” I said, with a small curtsey.The minister bellowed as he sat on my bed. “Who are you calling Sir? Who is your Sir? I’myour husband, Just like you are my wife.”I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes“Come, sit next to me,” Chief said, his voice soft.My heart dropped, wondering if this was the moment I’d been dreading. I reluctantly took my seat next to him and stared ahead, not knowing what to expect.“You are the most beautiful being I have ever laid eyes on,” he said, stroking my arm, making me stiff
“ Sometimes, everything cries in you expect your eyes” Arabic quotes We were driving into the compound when we sighted a black Toyota Celica parked in front of the house. I recognized it as the car the minister drove when he came to marry me, and my heart skipped a beat. Was he home?.“What brings him here ?” the head maid mumbled under her breath, a deep frown on her face.This confused me, as I knew she had a soft spot for the minister,from the way she fondly spoke of him. If he were the one, she wouldn’t be wondering why he was in the house.“Who is it?” I askedShe said nothing in response, but I was to get my answer very soon. As we disembarked from the car, a tall figure emerged from the doorway. I felt my blood run cold as I recognised who it was. Daniel.“Where have you two been? I’ve been here for at least an hour,” he demanded, his nostrils flared and his jaw set.“Don’t be angry. We had to go and buy a few things,”
“ Only our pillow knows the amount of emotions we hide from thr world” : unknown “I’ve had thousands of women, but that was, without a doubt, the best ever,” he exclaimed. “I’ve even had virgins before, but none of them felt asgood as that!”I lay on the bed, immobile, staring at the ceiling, wishing my life away.He stood and pulled up his jeans. “I don’t have to tell you this stays between the two of us, right? The consequences will be dire if you tellanyone about this.”I shut my eyes, not saying a word, not even caring about what he did or didn’t tell his father. My life was over. A monster had just stolen myvirginity. Nothing worse could happen.Except it could.“I’m not sure you know this, but I’m the one who is handing your brother logistics in India to study medicine,” he continued talking. “I’m the one who’s been liaising with the doctors at the Specialist Hospital over there in Jalandhar.I’m the one who controls the pa
Chapter 58"The past is never where you think you left it." — Katherine Anne PorterA soft tap on my door interrupted my thoughts. I was surprised when Catherine peeped into the room. I hadn’t seen her since the day of my botched escape.“Catherine, it's been a while, how are you?”“Zeynep, please don’t be angry with me,” she said, sitting on my bed. “I shouldn’t have left you like that that day. I should have stayed back to help you. I was so distressed about what happened that I wept all the way to new york.”I smiled. “What kind of help would you have given me? Those gangsters would have just flung you to one side.”But she didn’t even smile. “I heard about what Ibrahim did to you. I heard you almost died.”“Well, I didn’t die,” I answered with a flippant shrug. “What about you? What brings you back to Boston? Your boyfriend finally released you? Or has his wife found out about you?”She laughed, not taking any offence. “He’s there. He got
Chapter 58"The past is never where you think you left it." — Katherine Anne PorterA soft tap on my door interrupted my thoughts. I was surprised when Catherine peeped into the room. I hadn’t seen her since the day of my botched escape.“Catherine, it's been a while, how are you?”“Zeynep, please don’t be angry with me,” she said, sitting on my bed. “I shouldn’t have left you like that that day. I should have stayed back to help you. I was so distressed about what happened that I wept all the way to new york.”I smiled. “What kind of help would you have given me? Those gangsters would have just flung you to one side.”But she didn’t even smile. “I heard about what Ibrahim did to you. I heard you almost died.”“Well, I didn’t die,” I answered with a flippant shrug. “What about you? What brings you back to Boston? Your boyfriend finally released you? Or has his wife found out about you?”She laughed, not taking any offence. “He’s there. He got
“sometimes love means letting go—not because you want to, but because holding on would destroy you both." Unknown Chapter 57By noon, the story was everywhere. Everyone was talking about the vandalization of the young doctor’s hospital and the destruction of the legacy of the older Dr. Waverson. Sitting in the dining room having my lunch, I listened as the domestic staff talked about it, and it took everything in me not to yell out in anger and frustration. How could one family, one man, hold an entire city to ransom? But I couldn’t react, more for Jacobi’s benefit than my own. I was all cried out from the morning anyway. My heart and spirit were broken.And so I just sat there, like a statue, as they talked.“Zeynep, you’re not eating your food,” madam remarked, taking a seat next to me at the table.I looked at her, surprised.Madam Maria has vowed never to sit at the table, after what happened the last time, not even when she was
chapter 56"And when My servants ask you concerning Me, indeed I am near. I respond to the call of the supplicant when he calls upon Me." — Surah Al-Baqarah (2:186)I sat up in bed all night, frantically dialing his number, but to no avail. As soon as dawn broke, I wore my shoes and started making my way to the back gate, determined to jump the fence if I had to. Nothing and nobody was going to keep me from finding Jacobi, from seeing with my own two eyes that he was fine.As I approached the gate, the little phone finally rang. I almost fainted from relief when I saw Your Love flash on the screen.“Jacobi? What happened? I’ve been calling you all night!” I shrieked.“My angel, I’m really sorry,” he apologized. “You won’t believe what happened. I got back from Atlanta to find that some hoodlums had completely trashed the hospital.”I stopped dead in my tracks. “Trashed?”“Dear, the place is a mess,” he continued. “They destroyed everything; furniture, equipme
The only thing more unthinkable than leaving was staying; the only thing more impossible than staying was leaving." — Elizabeth GilbertChapter 55I woke up the following day with more purpose than I’d had in all the years I’d been in Boston. I was finally leaving. I wasn’t running away blindly to Mississippi, or leaving for a life of uncertainty in india. The man of my dreams, the true love of my life, was taking me far, far away from all my troubles, to start a whole new life. I still had no idea what he planned to do with the life he had started for himself in Boston, most especially as it concerned his father’s hospital, but I was confident that whatever he was planning was the very best option there could be for us. And that gave me all the confidence I needed.Speaking with him early that morning, we decided it would be best for me to use the desolate back gate as my escape route that night, especially as I was now confined to the compound.
He swore to save me, arms stretched wide,But shadows called, and love must hide.If night should claim me, don’t forget—I loved you once. I still love you yet. unknown Chapter 54As he walked past me, it was a struggle to maintain my composure. I knew that the clock had already started ticking for Jacobi and me.Ibrahim might have bought my excuse, but he was going to keep a keen eye on us.Whatever Jacobi was planning had to happen very, very quickly.Getting back to my bedroom, all memories of the encounter with Ibrahim were discarded as I lay on my bed, listening to Whitney Houston on my new phone. I shut my eyes, a content smile on my lips, happy that not only had my love not forgotten me, but everything was also still on course for my escape.I sang out loud, not caring who heard me, elated that my life—my miserable life—had finally become a love story, the kind I had read about and longed for, the kind I never thought I would ev
"The heart’s greatest rebellion is loving in captivity—but every act of defiance has its price." Unknown Chapter 53 I remained in the dining room as madam maria i went to let him in, my ears straining to catch their conversation. My heart pounded with nervous excitement. It didn’t even matter that, dressed in one of my older native dresses, I wasn’t looking my best. Jacobi had seen me at my worst and had fallen in love with me anyway. I was too ecstatic—not just about seeing him again, but about being one step closer to escaping this place. “It’s Doctor Jacobi,” madam maria announced, returning. “He said he has an appointment with the minister. Please, go and sit with him while I call your husband. Knowing how long it takes the minister to get ready these days, he might have to wait a while.” I nodded, trying to act composed, even though my insides churned with anticipation. Rising to my feet, I walked to the living room with measured grace. “Good morning, Doctor.” Jacob
Whatever is meant for you will reach you even if it is beneath two mountains, and whatever is not meant for you will not reach you even if it is between your two lips.” — Imam Al-GhazaliChapter 52Wordlessly, I started walking back to the house. I felt the sympathetic looks from the chief security and his men, and upon reaching the house, the rest of the domestic staff.But none of them was brave enough to approach me, not even Madam Maria.I walked wordlessly up the stairs and to my room, my resolve to leave growing with every step.Even as a corpse, I was going to find a way out of the ranch if it was the very last thing I did.I lay in bed as day eventually turned to night, falling into a deep depression, wondering how to get myself out of the mess life had made for me. Ya Allah, grant me an escape, I whispered into the darkness. But just as I was sinking to the bottom of the abyss, I remembered Jacobi’s promise to me."Nobody is going to
"The worst prison is not made of walls, but of fear and silence." Unknown Chapter 51Walking behind Helen, my legs were like lead. As we approached Jacobi’s office, the sound of the minister’s gruff voice and hearty laughter made goosebumps break all over my skin. This was no nightmare but stark reality. The minister was indeed back.“Ah, there she is!” he exclaimed, as I walked into the office. “See how fresh and healthy you look. I was expecting to see an invalid.”“She’s had a good time recuperating,” Jacobi answered, his voice even. “She was in very bad shape when she was brought here.”I threw an alarmed look at him, wondering why he was going into that level of detail with the minister, especially as it would lead to questions about why I had been so badly beaten in the first place.“Leave that nonsense. We all know that it is laziness that has made her stay here this long,” the minister retorted. “Almost two months in hospital,