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Chapter 19 : Words or Actions
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2024-10-29 19:42:56
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Dispute Marriage: No Terms and Conditions Chapter 20 : Apology is overrated
Chrisanna I don't move from the bed for a whole hour and spend the whole time petting Zoey without replying to Samuel. What does he think? He can make me do anything at any time. And I'll follow him after getting humiliated? I waited for three fucking hours. My chest is heavy right now. And I hate that I feel the need for him to be around me.I hate that I want to live this moment with him when he's truly being nice and soft to me. I hate my fear of missing out a lot. I won't go.I won't go.I don't care.I close my eyes tight and try to fall asleep. When another hour goes by, my eyelids start to hurt. Samuel hasn't returned to the room as he said in his last message, "You can make me wait. I'll keep waiting for you"What does he want to prove? That he's making it equal?It can't be equal. Nothing can be equal to the pain and humiliation he has caused to my emotions over the years. Again and again. It's 3 AM.Zoey is dozing off. And all of a sudden, I'm restless. Concern causes my
Dispute Marriage: No Terms and Conditions Chapter 21 : Samuel's POV [KISS ME]
Samuel I don't know what I was thinking when I stopped her by saying this. My heart, however, starts racing faster as she halts. I saw the fear in her eyes suddenly consuming her when we were in a graceful moment as if she was scared that I'm gonna fuck things up again. I hate that she's feeling that way and I kind of forced her to do so. I stride towards her, watching her shoulder rise and drop. Reaching closer to her, I lower my mouth to her ear. "Please!" I don't remember the last time I begged someone for something. Well, I never pleaded or requested anyone other than her. All my life, I had most of my emotions and actions reserved for her and it never changed. "So, you're redoing the date?" she asks quietly. "Not exactly"She turns to me, her eyes screaming that she's still unsure about how to take it. "Then why?" her eyes move down slowly. "I get why you prepared the dinner and said those things. I really appreciate that. You don't have to do anymore"The disappointment a
Dispute Marriage: No Terms and Conditions Chapter 22 : Upcoming Rival
Chrisanna I don't know how the hell I should sum up the whole night I experienced. It's overwhelming. At some point, it was one of the worst days of my life with memories puddling out as I felt unwanted and unimportant in Samuel's life and the next moment, it was the best night I have ever had. Everything he said and everything he did for me made me feel like I got my old Samuel back in a different way. However, I can't forget the embarrassing request I made to him out of the blue. God! I'm glad he wasn't here when I woke up because I don't know how to face him. I roll onto the bed, still not getting over the whole night and I can't stop smiling. Even though he was no less mysterious, we haven't been this close before. The rising tension was so damn intense that I didn't know how it would end up if we had truly kissed. He was right about it and I can't stop thinking about how he indirectly expressed that he also kind of feels the same way about me. My cheeks burn. I don't think I
Dispute Marriage: No Terms and Conditions Chapter 23 : Guys know guys better?
Chrisanna "It's good that you are trying to spend more quality time with everyone", I excitedly say, following Samuel to the elevator. He has the usual poker face on as he scrolls through the reports on his phone."Well, I can't arrange breakfast for you every morning and I know you are so stubborn that you won't have breakfast with everyone if I walk away. So, I'm just compromising for you, Mrs Wife", he mutters.I don't know whether I should feel bad or good. It's bad because I finally thought he was trying to get more involved in his own family. However, I can't help swooning over the fact that he stopped for me, even though it should not be this way. I don't want to make him do anything for me, especially when it's about his relationship with his own family.I badly wanna know what exactly made this distance between him and his parents. It has always been a mystery to me. "Now to bust your ego—" he turns to me right after we get out of the elevator. "I did it because I can't ma
Dispute Marriage: No Terms and Conditions Chapter 24 : You're my wife
Chrisanna I gasp at the sight of Samuel standing less than a foot away from us. His jaw is tightened and grey eyes are throbbing along with the thin veins under his skin. Get ready to be bashed along with this blonde chick for creating chaos in the office. However, I'm already upset about the fact that he has to confront me just in case people think he's favouring me. And Scarlett is doing her job. He wouldn't say anything to her. A part of me understands the whole scenario but as I already said, I'm not trained enough to take his harsh words— the ego-busting thing is different.As he walks to us, keeping that dangerously hard look on, Scarlett throws me a glare as if she already knows I'm about to get fired as Samuel mostly did in his old workplace.He scowls at me briefly as he approaches my desk before turning to look at Scarlett.She cleaves her throat as if getting ready to deliver a whole ass speech to call me out on my errors."Mr Vance, this girl—""Who gave you the right to
Dispute Marriage: No Terms and Conditions Chapter 25 : Totally flustered
Chrisanna I think I trekked onto something I shouldn't have. By the way, his chest rises and his eyes freeze on me, I feel my heart thudding. He looks anxious, not angry, not frustrated. Such questions always made him feel uncomfortable and I do regret snapping at him with this question. However, it should be a general one, right? This is not a question about the past. "Tell me", I ask him again.His eyelids drop, shedding his eyes as he inhaled deeply, sliding his palm up to his neck. He's breathing in and out. He's trying to calm down. "You don't wanna know this", he says."I do"His jaw tightens. He's trying not to snap. My throat dries up. I still keep my gaze stern. I have so many questions but I don't wanna overwhelm him in the office. This is not the place."Don't do this, Chrisanna. Just don't", he's not threatening. He's literally pleading, keeping his gaze down. "I don't wanna utter anything that hurts you and I fucking don't trust myself when I lose my mind"It comes lik
Dispute Marriage: No Terms and Conditions Chapter 26 : Lights off
Chrisanna "What do you mean your phone suddenly broke down?" Samuel sneers from behind.How does he appear out of nowhere? I curse under my breath, not turning around. Cooper gives me a consoling side, looking over my shoulder.Apparently, my old-ass phone cracked again. It took a tour for repairs seven times in the last two years. I've owned it for four years obviously. That damn iphone cost the whole amount I got for three photoshoots back then. I didn't charge people much though. So, I was whining about it to Cooper during the lunch break and Samuel heard me. I turn around, watching the surprised reaction on his face."It happens a lot", I show him the phone. "But I'll put it for repairing"He glances at my phone once and rolls his eyes. "You realise you will be getting a lot of things to do through your phone? You can't be unavailable for that long" He shrugs and picks his one out which also looks much older. He snatches mine from me and inserts my sim card into his one."I ha
Dispute Marriage: No Terms and Conditions Chapter 27 : Worlds Collided
Samuel They won't stop talking. No matter how much I try to get myself into a shell, I can still hear, those muffled words filled with disgust and degradation. The sound of laughter. "Look who's here""Samuel Vance, how are you still allowed in here?""Assholes like you should rot in hell""Why aren't you still kicked out?""Genes speak!""Shame on you!"I'm screaming but I can't hear my voice. I can only feel my body getting colder and shivering. I want to shut down. I want to push myself to a place where I don't hear those voices anymore. The lights— the damn lights shudder me from the core as I throw my hand over my eyes to get rid of them. It scares me to death. I can't breathe or even move. The voices keep howling around me. I think I'll die. Fuck! I'm dying. My lungs are exploding from the lack of air as I gasp."Samuel!" among those voices I hear her. The next moment, two soft warm palms rest on my cheeks. Cold shivers jolt through my body, making my heart beat faster agai
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Dispute Marriage: No Terms and Conditions Announcement : 15th August, 2023
Hello, everyone. This month has been a really bad one. After I posted the previous chapter almost 10 days ago, I was doing pretty well. None of my family members nor I have ever suffered from Dengue before which is why I had no idea that after the fever decreases abruptly there is a higher chance to have a very bad fever after a couple of days. I wasn't fully recovered. Had to get admitted in the hospital. I really tried my best to use my free time to write something but it was next to impossible. It's been two days since I have come back home and doing pretty well. But due to a gap in writing, I'm unable to get motivated to write the next chapter. Must be an absurd request but please let me know in the comments how many of you are still with me, waiting for the rest of the chapters, so I can have some boost in motivation and push myself to finally get back on track. Thanks in advance for all the good wishes. Hugs?
Dispute Marriage: No Terms and Conditions Chapter 109 : Month— Nine
ChrisannaYou know what's the worst part of this phase? I know every bit of change happening in my body and my mind but people around me— who love me— are trying their best to hide those changes I may not see but feel. I snuggle into Samuel's arms after breaking the kiss and exhaling deeply as his grip tightens. I feel his heart racing, faster than ever.He thinks I didn't notice anything. But I did feel everything. I felt the sudden change in his voice which he tried to hide. I felt his hands suddenly moving more gently than ever as if he was scared to touch my hair, as if he feared the more he'll mess with them the more they'll come out. He thinks he can prevent them from falling anymore. Maybe. But he can't.I know everything. I feel everything.I feel him. He can't hide. He can't lie. "You're feeling well? We can cancel the date if you want to", he asks me, squeezing my shoulders gently. "No. I wanna go""You sure""Hmm", I lift my head and smile at him. *We spent the rest of
Dispute Marriage: No Terms and Conditions Chapter 108 : Month—Seven
Samuel"I'm sure I was born only to meet her", I say, smiling down, midway through my speech— among the group settling in a circle during the weekly meeting. "Every good thing that happened in my life— all revolved around her. I just don't know how that's possible. I believe that I was born for her. Just to meet her and love her. There's no damn purpose in my life. There haven't been any"My breath hitches as I look around at all the smiling faces."Do I look better to you all? Like better than how I was when I came to the first meeting?" A tinge of anticipation stirs me up. "I just don't want to go back to the worst phase of my life anymore. And I'm so fearful that it would happen if I keep watching her struggling. It's very painful—" I struggle to speak.Strangely, it didn't happen ever since I started coming to the meetings and I always talked fluently.As I struggle to speak, my phone rings. Even though it's not allowed to carry phones while in the meeting, I'm allowed as I discus
Dispute Marriage: No Terms and Conditions Chapter 107 : Month—Five : Four words
ChrisannaIt's like a script they have all memorized. "Line dance", Uncle Colton says, getting up and walking towards the music player. "Darn. I hate it!" Eric snarls. "All dancing like soldiers""It's fun. We do it every time in family gatherings", Judson says, flickering a smile. "Seriously! Are you a 50-year-old in the body of a 17-year-old?" Eric grimaces, making Judson silent."Stop bullying him, Eric", Kylee shoots him a glare."Opposite attracts— shit is real", Charlotte laughs her lungs out, taking sips from her drink."Okay, you all", Uncle Colton turns the music on. "Get into a line"As everyone takes place for a line dance, Samuel helps me to get up."You don't need to match and move that much, okay? Just enjoy", he says. "Don't stress" I nod and notice a few people from the park have also joined. The environment seems to come alive with the rhythm of the dance as I weakly copied Charlotte's steps who is standing before me and briefly look at Samuel beside me. He has a
Dispute Marriage: No Terms and Conditions Chapter 106 : Month Five : The celebration
ChrisannaThe sun-kissed park provides a picturesque setting as the sprawling green meadow unfolds in front of me. Towering trees with long branches surrounding us leaves gently rustling in the soft breeze. The vibrant colours of blooming flowers dot the landscape.I inhale deeply, swallowing the canvas before my eyes. It all seems so new and mesmerising. I haven't inhaled fresh air for months. More than half of the last five months were spent within the four walls of the hospital and I also didn't wanna step out.I miss my old life so much. I look yards away, taking every inch of the view, watching kids playing around, families conversing and groups of friends laughing aloud."It's really hot over here", Samuel comes beside me, blocking the sun rays straight hitting my face as how tall he is. I look up at him and smile, finding Zoey curled around his neck. "I missed this heat""In that case, I think you had enough of it", he slides his hand behind my back and I keep smiling at Zoey
Dispute Marriage: No Terms and Conditions Chapter 105 : Month—Five
Chrisanna Stage III. As hard as it is to accept, this is the reality. It's been weeks since I've been back to the hospital. Again.And it sucks. I'm going through radiation therapy now. Even though my breasts were removed, cancer spread beyond that area to nearby lymph nodes surrounding tissues, chest walls, and skin.My skin burns, itches, and aches most of the time. I feel tired even pushing my eyelids and sometimes it's even harder to breathe. Although my stitches are gone, leaving those lifelong scars, the soreness and fatigue still wake me up every night. But now I have learned not to cry out. I have learned how to live with this discomfort and pain. Among everything, my life is just standing still. It seems like I'm stuck in a loophole where the world is running at a fast pace and I'm just standing there. I don't feel the same anymore. I'm not the same. The changes haunt me. I find it hard to accept myself. And every time I try to speak my heart out, I can't. They don't
Dispute Marriage: No Terms and Conditions Chapter 104 : Month—Two (2)
SamuelChrisanna had to spend the next week in the hospital. As she preferred, Aunty Ivanna was there for her most of the time. I rarely got to spend time with her as the nurses and doctors had to check on her every half an hour. She might need a few weeks to recover from the surgery before the radiation therapy starts. According to the doctors, she'll need more than a year to get past all that and it depends on her recovery whether she'd need more therapy or not. However, I'm more concerned about the woman she's turning into— completely different from what she was. She barely speaks to me. She just stares at me whenever I am there as if she's talking to me through her eyes and I feel dumb and desperate when I can't bring myself to understand what she might want to say.I try to be there for her as much as I can but I wish I could do more. To ensure I'm in a better state of mind, I regularly attend my therapy sessions. Connor introduced me to a group and I have attended two meetings
Dispute Marriage: No Terms and Conditions Chapter 103 : Month–Two
ChrisannaNo amount of willpower, confidence, and support can prepare you for this— no matter how strong you try to be— it's never that easy. The day I was diagnosed with this disease again, I was so sure that I would overcome it— again. If a seven-year-old child can fight, then a twenty-five-year-old grown-ass woman can definitely fight and win. But little did I know that, it's not the same— and never that easy.The more I was sucked into this illness, the more I realized it's not the same. It's more painful than anything else. Either I lose something that defines my identity, or I lose myself. Either way, I have to lose. Spacing out of reality, I look down at my hands, clasping and unclasping them as my eyes dart to the wedding ring, glistening on my finger. My thoughts slip away from one direction to the other one as Samuel's face flashes in front of my eyes. I haven't seen him for two days— ever since I was admitted to the hospital for surgery. I met no one as I requested them
Dispute Marriage: No Terms and Conditions Chapter 102 : Month—One (2)
SamuelI wasn't honestly expecting something like that. There's barely any word I can form to speak when she stares straight into my eyes with a blank face. Her voice barely shakes and her gaze doesn't even flinch.This is not anything like Chrisanna. Chrisanna is all about expressing. She doesn't believe in being or looking emotionless— cold and rough. She should have been nervous, scared, or hurt while saying such a huge thing to me. At least— to me!I had seen changes in her behaviour lately but it's something painful to watch.She keeps staring at me, waiting for an answer when I was completely spaced out. I shrug, clearing my throat."Okay""It's awful", she doesn't blink— and her voice is ice cold. She should be flinching and groaning in frustration and maybe in anger. There's nothing!"It's not awful", I exclaim, immediately sliding my palm around her jaw. "It's a way to heal you""Yeah. Just throwing away a part of my body isn't awful", she groans, making me unsettled."No.
