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CHAPTER 58
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Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 59
Oh, hell.She drew in a sharp breath at my words.My true words. We both knew it. The more we used to argue, the more desperate and rough our inevitable make-up sex was. The angrier we were, the tighter we were wound, the more we needed the release.Sex wasn’t a problem solver, but it always paved the way for us to settle things. They were always settled naked and cuddling, but they were still settled.The issue with now was that there was so much tension and so many unspoken words that both of us were wounded tightly all the time. At least I was. There wasn’t a second where I didn’t want to grab her and kiss her, just because I needed some of that frustration to disintegrate against her sweet mouth.But that ends tonight. The unspoken words will no longer be unspoken. We had a thousand things we needed to say that will only end explosively if we talked in private. I knew us so well.Despite Milka, despite the time passed, we were still us.We were just buried beneath a bunch of bulls
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 60
Her voice trailed off, getting smaller until I could barely hear her over the sound of the restaurant. I reached forward and slid my fingers through hers. I brushed my thumb across the inside of her wrist, and her fingers squeezed around mine.“I was afraid I wouldn’t be enough for you anymore,” she whispered, looking at our hands. “You had this whole other world opening up to you. There would be concerts and recording sessions. Video shoots and events. None of those I would have been able to do heavily pregnant or with a young baby. I was afraid that you’d find someone else who was thin and beautiful. That you would want Milka but you wouldn’t want me anymore. I was too selfish to deal with that.”Her words cut through me, and I took a deep breath. Shit, they stung, they burnt. They fucking shattered my heart.“It was easier to run. Easier to hide. It was easier to push you aside than open myself to the possibility of you doing the same thing to me.”I exhaled, but it was shuddery, a
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 61
“And where do you think you’re going to get a tour bus in nine days?”“It might have to be a smaller RV,” he acquiesced. “But still. I want you there, Chloe. And Milka, too.”He pushed some hair from my face, then trailed his thumbs down to my eyes. He pulled a baby wipe from the packet on the cushion next to us and wiped under my eyes, then softly scrubbed off all my mascara. Another, and he wiped all traces of makeup from my face.“I want my girls with me. Always,” he said roughly. “I want to hear Milka’s giggles and see her smile, and I want to watch her learn new things.” His hands slid up my back. “I want to hold you whenever I want, and kiss you whenever the mood strikes me, and dammit, Chloe, I want to fuck you until neither of us can speak whenever we’re alone. I just fucking want you, girl. All the time.”I lowered my lips to his. “Then have me. Now. That’s all I’m promising. Now, until you leave.”“It’s not good enough.”“It’s all I can give you. You can’t expect me to make
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 62
I shuffled out of bed quietly and opened one of my drawers. I pulled out his T-shirt, one I kept when I left, and pulled it over my head. I didn’t know how he missed it when he put all my clothes in the drawers. Maybe he didn’t miss it—maybe he noticed it and decided to just ignore it.Tying my hair up, I walked downstairs and into the kitchen. The kettle was empty, so I filled it and set it to boil, then threw four slices of bread into the toaster. My laptop was on the counter and I opened it, bringing up Spotify. I set the radio playing and hummed along to the song—Dirty J.’s latest. My lips curved.Damn. They were everywhere.I twirled across the kitchen, still humming, and grabbed the butter and milk from the fridge. I buttered the toast when it popped and stir two coffees.“I wondered what was dying down here.” Conor’s hands settled on either side of my body on the counter, and he dipped his face into the side of my neck.“Ha, ha.” I knocked his elbow with mine. “Good morning to
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 63
“I have no idea where we’re goin’, man, so if she says she’s happier with you comin’ along, then get in your car and follow us.”I leaned out of the window and whispered to Ajay, “Records Office.”“Ahhh.” He smiled, looking at Conor knowingly.“The fuck? You’ll tell him but not me?”I smiled sweetly, flipped the car around, and drove out of Santa Monica. Conor grumbled the whole way, presumably to coerce me into telling him. I wouldn’t, though. Not until we get there.My surprises were definitely better than his.Still he moaned, muttering to himself, and when a Dirty J. song came on the radio he shut it off. I laughed, making the turn onto the road that’ll take us to the records office.Conor sat up straight when I pulled into the lot. Ajay pulled up beside us, and so did a bunch of media.“We’re—what?”My lips curled hesitantly, and I got out without responding.Ajay got out of his car. “Conor, move your ass before they jump on you.”Conor joined me and wrapped his arm around my wai
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 64
I reached out and took her hands in mine, even though we’re walking through the door.I had to find a way to get rid of them. A way that meant they won’t be the first to get Milka’s photo. A way that meant we can take Milka out and do anything we want to with her, that meant we wouldn’t have to sneak her through the damn woods to get between our houses.Milka looked up as soon as we walked in the room. “Mama! Dadda!” She scampered up and ran to us, arms wide.I scooped her up, holding her to my chest, smiling. “Hey, little girl.”“My lub Dadda.” She squeezed my neck as tightly as only a two-year-old can.“I love you, too, baby.”“My lub Mama.” She reached for Chloe.She placed her hand on Milka’s back and kissed her cheek. “Mama lub you, too,” she whispered.I turned my face and kissed Chloe’s temple, letting my lips linger there.Mom walked in and smiled. “Done?” she asked Chloe.Chloe turned and nodded.“Great! Now, Conor.” She faced me. “Aiden’s in the garage whining like a little
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 65
“No, it’s completely normal.” I grined. “What did you do today?” Chloe sighed. “Let’s see. We baked cookies, drew approximately fifteen hundred pictures of Peppa Pig, napped, helped your mom make meat loaf for dinner, then had a big splashy bath. I also discovered I will burn cookies if your mom doesn’t remind me they’re in there and I can’t draw for shit.” “Sounds busy.” “Busy and a little tedious. For Milka, too,” she added, tracing her finger over my tattoo. The casual movement sent shivers through me. “Really? It sounds like a toddler’s dream.” “I think she’s bored, Con,” she said softly. “Even of the beach. She’s been doin’ the same stuff for over a week now. She started getting really naughty earlier.” I felt so damn bad she was kept practically captive because of who I was. “We’ll figure it out this weekend, okay? Another day or two in the house won’t hurt her. We’ll go to the toy store in the morning and buy her a bunch of stuff to amaze her.” Chloe smiled sadly. “It’s
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 66
I frowned at him. “I don’t get it.”“Facebook.” He sat down next to me triumphantly. “You post a picture of her and Conor on the Dirty J. fan page. We have like twenty million likers on that thing. It’ll go viral from there, and none of the media will get their famed shot of the ‘Dirty J. secret baby.’ ”I placed my phone down on the table and stared at him, my mouth dropping. “Aiden! That’s brilliant!”He sat back smugly. “It’s been known to happen now and then.”I looked at Conor. “Do you think it’ll work?”He nodded. “We have a lot of messages and posts asking to see her. It’s like they don’t really believe it. We can post it there, then go out straight after.”“They’ll all think they’re getting the pictures, but there’ll already be one online.” Aiden tapped his fist against the table. “Hey, Milka.”“Yeah, Aid?”“You want a picture with Daddy?”“Picker?” she gasped, her eyes lighting up.“Yeah. Picker.” Aiden leaned forward. “You want Mommy in it?”“Mama picker, too.” She gasped ag
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Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 130
I was kind of annoyed at his short response, but I was equally amused at his smugness about it. And his amusement—damn, I wanted to laugh while I slap it off his handsome face.For the first time, it stroke me that this fake relationship could be rather dangerous.I stayed quiet as we drove down the country road that’ll take us to Percival Town, a couple of miles up the coast. I had been before—it was the stereotypical little beach town, more so than Santa Monica, even—but it wasn’t my favorite place. For one, the size of the town and its population made Santa Monica looked like a minuscule village unworthy of a supermarket or school of its own, and almost everyone who lived there acted like they were from a city, when they were not.We also had a high school football rivalry, so that could play in, especially since I was head cheerleader and may or may not have gotten into a catfight with Percival’s head cheerleader in senior year.Who also happened to be Titus’s girlfriend at the tim
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 129
IVANA“You’re going out with Titus James? Like on a date? Or out out? Or just as friends?” Sussy’s eyes bugged out of her head. “And you didn’t invite me?”I paused from applying my mascara and looked at her incredulous expression in the mirror. “Come right on into my room, Sus. It was okay. I only might have been naked, or you know, masturbating or something.”“That’s gross.”“So is your obsession with Dirty J.” I gave her a sarcastic smile and went back to my makeup. “But no, it is not a date.”“Uh-huh . . .” she trailed off, and when I screwed my mascara brush back into the tube, she shoved her phone at me. “Then why does Twitter say you’re his girlfriend?”I shrugged and brushed my bangs out. “I saw this meme on Facebook that said Abraham Lincoln once said you shouldn’t believe everything you read on the Internet.”My sister looked at me like I was dumb. “The Internet was invented after Lincoln died.”“Precisely. It’s called sarcasm.” I rolled my eyes and grabbed my phone from the
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 128
“You really want me to say it again?”She rubbed her hand down her face. “Are you insane? She hates you!”I smirked.“Titus . . .” She rolled her eyes. “Okay, obviously not that much, but a fake relationship? Do you even know what you’ve gotten yourself into?”“Yep,” Aiden replied for me. “Because unlike the rest of us, he’s the only one who’s had a successful relationship.”“As evidenced by the fact I am currently single,” I drawled sarcastically at my big brother. “Get a load of that success!”“Don’t be a little prick.”“Every big prick needs a little one.”“Dollars!” Milka shrieked, stomping across the room with her hand out and her chubby fingers clenching in a “gimme” motion. Dutifully, we both dug dollar bills out of our pockets and handed them over. “Tankoo.” She narrowed her bright blue eyes, then pointed at the space between us. “No fight! Bad Uncy Aid and Uncy Titus!”Chloe smiled behind her glass of juice.“She’s real bossy, you know that, right?” I looked at Chloe. “She’s
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER127
TITUSHoly. Shit.I was never, ever fucking putting this chick on the back of my bike ever again.If her arms around me wasn’t bad enough, it was her tits pressed solidly against my back and the fact I knew her pussy was rubbing my ass. Fuck. And in the tiny shorts she was wearing right now? It was a mega mindfuck.In fact, it was a fuck, fuck, fuck, kinda situation.As in why the fuck did I kiss her this morning? Why the hell did I bring her close just to shut her ex up? I shouldn’t give a shit. I should’ve taken the damn coffees, paid, and gotten the hell outta Dodge. But no. I had to plant some fucking seeds in Dodge, didn’t I? And then I had to water them by telling that douchebag that I’m her boyfriend.I had the funniest feeling that wasn’t gonna go down well.In fact, I was almost certain it was gonna go down like a shit ton of loose bricks in an earthquake.Still, though—I could feel her arms wrapped around me tightly, holding her body flush against mine, and it was different
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 126
“I always wondered what it’d be like to fuck you. Now I know.”“Isn’t this a conversation for your right hand?”“No, but it could be for yours.”“Only if that hand is around your neck.” I snatched said hand out of his and placed it on my hip. “What do you want? Why are you here?”“Come with me,” he said, his shoulders rising and falling. “Please?”“A James boy saying please? Did I die and go to hell? ’Cause y’all sure ain’t goin’ to heaven.”His lips twitched. “Vanny.”I took two steps away from him.“Ivana,” he corrected himself. “Come on. Just for ten minutes.”“Take me home,” I demanded, turning back to him. “Let me get changed, and then I’ll consider it.”He took a deep breath, his eyes intent on me as he obviously considered it. “Fine.” He grabbed my hand once more and tugged me between two buildings and onto Main Street.I shielded my eyes from the sunlight before sliding my sunglasses down as we stepped from the shadows created by the alleyway, almost falling after him. He led
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 125
“A frying pan to the face? Sure. Be my guest.”“Coffee, Ivana. I’d like to keep my job.”“Nah, it’s okay. I’ve gotta face him sometime.”“Ken!” She yelled into the kitchen at the chef. “Keep the fryin’ pans away from Jessie here!”“Yes, ma’am,” he called back, laughing.I might have a temper.“Y’all are like pins and needles in my ass,” I mumbled, finishing my coffee and putting the mug into the empty dishwasher. Adrina’s laugh rung through the café as she danced her way to the front door with the key dangling from her pointer finger.Chelsea was the first person through the door, and I blinked harshly. “Don’t look at me like that,” she hissed, stalking toward me. “You didn’t come home last night, did you?”“Say it a bit louder, Chels. I’m not sure my mom heard you.”She rolled her eyes and, glancing at the people behind her, ordered. “Latte, please, to go.” One more glance as I grabbed the takeout cup and she continued, “Why didn’t you text me? You should have texted me!”“Dude, seri
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 124
IVANAIt shouldn’t bother me.But, really, he must have a serious lack of class to just disappear while I slept.What kind of son of a bitch is Titus James? He’s sure as hell a disrespectful little shit, his sexual promises be damned. The fact he delivered on them can be damned, too.He’s real lucky I’m the kind of girl who sticks to her word. When I said no stories, no second times, no whatever it was I said while under the influence of cosmos, I meant it.As long as we never have to see each other again. That’d be fabulous. So basically, Santa Monica needed to expand by another few thousand people. Several thousand would be great. Like, twenty thousand.The chances of this happening are, I know, slim. But a girl can dream. A girl’s gotta dream if she wants to stay sane.A last-minute tour for Dirty J. would be epic. An impromptu concert on Mars would be even more epic.Jesus, what the heck was I thinking? Sleeping with Titus James? Did I have a temporary lapse in sanity last night?
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 123
Blondie’s smile dropped. “Yeah. Why? She your assistant or somethin’?”I smirked. “No, but I’m hirin’.”“Well, how about this.” She stepped forward and ran her finger down my arm. “I give you my number, and when you’re ready to interview, you can call me.”“Or how about you come back here this time next week and if I’m standing right here, you’ll know you got the job.” My lips tugged up even more.Agreeing to call a girl.Fuck. That.That was an amateur move.“Well played,” she whispered in my ear before stalking past me, making sure her tits brush my arm. Her hard, fake tits.I prefer real.The bathroom door opened and I looked up straight into the eyes of . . . my little sister. Leah took a deep breath and held her hand up at me, touching two fingers to her temples. Her ponytail swung as she shook her head. “Aw, hell no. I am not going to think about the fact that I just helped one of my best friends out of Spanx so she can fuck my brother.”She opened her eyes, and I scratched the
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 122
TITUSIvana Lawson reached back and grasped my forearm firmly, shoving my arm away from her like I was fire and she was gasoline. “I mind you touching me,” she replied. “What’s takin’ so long?” she yelled to the bartender.“Chill out, Ivana,” I murmured, moving closer to her and meeting the bartender’s eyes. “Can you hurry with that, babe?”She nodded and within two seconds, a cocktail glass full of perfectly red-pink liquid was placed in front of us.“That’s—”“And a bottle of Budweiser, thanks,” I demanded before she said the price. “Put it on my tab.”“I can pay for my own drink,” Ivana argued, her eyes sparking with defiance.“Sure you can, but that don’t mean you’re gonna.”“It means I will.” She riffled in her purse and slammed a ten into my chest. “Thank you, Titus, but no thank you.”I took the crisp bill from her hand and crumpled it up, crooking my finger in the collar of her dress. She gaped at me in disbelief as I pulled the fabric from her body and dropped the balled-up n
