NOAHEmma and Deacon didn't stay very long after that-big surprise. Emma wore this pinched, uptight expression, and as soon as Deacon wandered back to the porch, glancing at both of us cautiously, she grabbed his hand and told him that she was ready to leave. But she got in one more parting shot before she took off. "Noah, I love you." She laid her slim, cool hands on either side of my face, staring into my eyes. "You really are my best friend, and I don't want that to change. But look at what you're doing. Look at the choices you're making, the life you're leading. It's a mess. It's not you. If Angela could see-" She broke off, either because of her own emotion or because she saw the pain in my eyes. "Noah, she wouldn't recognize you. I barely do. So please, please, sweetie, do me a favor and slow down. Think about all of this." She'd tiptoed up to kiss my cheek. "And don't forget to call me, because I miss you." I patted her back, mumbled something that I hoped sounded convinc
NOAHI awoke the morning after the party to a cotton mouth, throbbing head, and a wrecked house. Well, it wasn't destroyed in the sense of what a home might look like after a high school all-night kegger, but there was trash in the kitchen and living room and on the front porch . . . dishes left all over, glasses and bottles everywhere, and a general sense of . . . mess.Yeah, it was a mess. Everything was a mess, including me. As I dropped down to sit at my kitchen table, reality crashed down over me, and it wasn't pretty. I'd spent the last months doing exactly what Coach Briars had said last night. I'd been throwing a temper tantrum, kicking and screaming against life because things hadn't gone my way. Now that I forced myself to really look at everything, I realized it wasn't just about losing football, either. It was . . . all of it. Angela being sick, Angela dying, being alone for so long . . . thinking that I could find my way back to normal with Emma and having those hopes
ALISON Alison"Well, Alison, no surprises here." Maggie Corning, the nurse-practitioner midwife who'd been handling my gynecological care since I'd moved to Florida, tapped the tablet in her hand. The results of my recent blood test were displayed on the screen. "As you suspected-or knew-you're pregnant, and my exam, along with the date of your last period, puts you at about eleven weeks along." She regarded me for a moment before adding, "We can do an ultrasound to narrow that down and confirm timing if you like, or we can wait a little while longer. That's up to you." I was still wearing the cotton examination gown and sitting on Maggie's table. Her midwifery practice was as holistic and sustainable as she could make it while still maintaining standards of cleanliness, and I always appreciated that I didn't have to sit around in a crinkly, uncomfortable paper gown when I visited her for my annual appointment. I also liked the fact that she saw herself as a partner in my health c
ALISON Anna and Jimmy Girard, Deacon's grandparents, lived on a large family farm a few miles outside of Harper Springs. Their property jutted against the land that Emma had bought when she moved down here, and now that Emma and Deacon were living in her cabin, I knew that they loved being closer to the older couple. I'd been to the farm often when I lived in Harper Springs because while we were building Emma's cabin, Anna and Jimmy had helped us and frequently fed us at their kitchen table, too. The old farmhouse was the most comfortable, most welcoming home I'd ever known. So I didn't feel the least bit uncomfortable to park on the side of the house and push open the kitchen door, calling as I did. "Hello! I'm here to volunteer as a taste-tester." "And just in time!" Drying her hands on her apron, Anna hustled over to me, drawing me into a tight hug. "Look at you. You're beautiful." She held my chin in her hand, smiling into my eyes. "You're practically glowing." My cheek
NOAH"All right. I'm here. And I'm listening." Juliet made a point of looking at her watch. "You've got five minutes, then I'm out of here." I sat across from her at my kitchen table, my gut twisting, wondering what the hell I was doing. It had been three days since the damn party, and during that time, aside from Zeke's visit and threats, I'd known more peace than I'd had in months. My house had been quiet and empty, and for the first two days, I'd done nothing but sleep and eat whatever the hell I'd wanted. But this morning, I'd awakened gripped with guilt. Was it because the pillows still smelled like Juliet's perfume? Maybe. Or it could have been because she hadn't so much as texted me since she'd stormed out of the party. I'd expected to hear from her that night, or at least the next morning, but she'd maintained total radio silence.Her stuff was still all over my house. Her lingerie was on the counter in my bathroom, along with her makeup, skincare shit and soaps. Her sham
NOAHBut in the end, she leaned across the table and covered my hands with hers. "Of course, I want to be part of helping you find your new life, Noah. Like I said, I care for you. I know you've been struggling, but I thought if I stuck it out, eventually you'd see how good I can be for you." Her lips curved up. "And I can be so fucking good for you, Noah." "I know you can be. You are. I mean, I appreciate what you-how you-" God, I sounded lame. "But that's something else." I wasn't sure exactly how to say this and not sound like I was calling her something incredibly insulting. "We need to ease up on the sex, okay? Maybe slow down . . . take a break on . . . that." Juliet's eyebrows rose, and she tilted her head. "Excuse me? You want to try celibacy? Is that part of this next act in the life of Noah? Because I'm going to say it doesn't sound like fun to me." She smirked. "Wouldn't be fun for you, either. I don't think you'd last long before you'd be begging me to come back to y
ALISON"I'm pregnant, Noah. We're having a baby." For the first few moments after I spoke those words, I thought Noah might be having a heart attack. Or some kind of seizure. His eyes went so wide that I could see almost all of the whites, and his mouth literally gaped. If we were in a cartoon, I'd bet his hair would've stood on end, too. But since we were actual, real people, it didn't. And apparently, he wasn't suffering cardiac arrest, either, though he did drop to the chair across from mine. He was silent for a long time, and then, when he spoke, his voice was low and intense. "Are you fucking kidding me? Is this some kind of sick joke, something you decided to cook up to punish me for-for not taking your calls or answering your texts?"A coldness crept over me. I hadn't expected Noah to take this news easily, and I'd known that he was going to need some time to adjust to the truth. But expecting it and hearing it out loud were two different things. "And for not answeri
NOAHI watched Alison's car disappear around the bend in my drive. I wanted to smash something, kick a wall-yell at the top of my lungs, maybe. I was furious, frustrated, terrified-and there was a chance I was still in shock. My lips were numb. And dammit, I hadn't been ready for Alison to leave yet. I had hours of questions left. She showed up, dropped a bombshell on my lap, and then scurried away when Juliet came out and scared her off. Juliet. Thinking of her reminded me that there was yet another woman who had a lot of explaining to do . . ."What the hell, Juliet? Alison showed up here, and you lied to her? You told her I wasn't at home? Do you know what a mess you've made?" She backed up to the edge of the porch and gripped the railing behind her. "You didn't want to see anyone. You kept telling me that. And you'd been ignoring her messages, so I figured you'd want me to just get rid of her that day. Showing up here without being invited was kind of ballsy, wasn't it?"