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Chapter 9 Struggling
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2023-12-22 10:58:18Related chapters
Death and Insanity Chapter 10 Hatred and Revenge
Chapter 10 Hatred and RevengeAfter I fell ill, my temper became bad.My attitude toward Lana and Dexter worsened.I did poorly in the monthly exam, but I still managed to score better than Lana.I was happy that, at least in terms of academics, I was better than her.I raised my eyes and met her hateful gaze.Then her mouth curled into a sinister smile.At first, I didn't understand what it meant until she left with a few people.Soon after, rumors spread in class that I was a jinx who caused my mother's death.When I returned to my seat during the break, I found dead snakes and poisonous spiders stuffed into my desk.My chair and table were replaced with ones that couldn't be used.The physical humiliation wasn't good enough for Lana, and she resorted to psychological torture. On the way out of school, she flashed a proud smile at me, her round eyes hiding filthy things.I was so angry that my mind went blank.I threw my textbook at her with all my might, hitting her h
Last Updated : 2023-12-22Death and Insanity Chapter 11 Meeting Her
Chapter 11 Meeting HerDuring this difficult time, I met her.My soul was torn to pieces. I was physically and mentally exhausted.My lips were cracked. Heavy dark circles were under my eyes. My hair was dry and thin.My mind was confused, and my steps were unsteady.I didn't know where to go, and I finally stopped on a deserted pedestrian overpass.I looked down, seeing few people.That was good.I didn't want to cause a panic.She later said, "When I saw you that day, my first impression was that you were ugly. It wasn't that you were physically unattractive. On the contrary, you were beautiful. It was just that your state was really bad."You looked like an animal dying of thirst in the desert or a fish drowning in the lake."I smiled and patted her hand. "You're talking nonsense. Fish can't drown."She rolled her eyes. "It's that kind of feeling."You were full of gloom and looked like you could die at any moment."My smile froze on my face.In fact, I did plan to ju
Last Updated : 2023-12-22Death and Insanity Chapter 12 Happy Sunshine
Chapter 12 Happy SunshineEvery day spent with Amber McCoy was filled with happiness.True to her name, she was like a little sun that brought joy and delight to others.At least, she was the sun in my life.I had told her more than once, "Amber, I would have died without you."She patted my hand and replied, "Your words are even more pleasing than what those scumbags would say to deceive me."I nodded in agreement because I wasn't lying.After a pause, she held my face in her hands and spoke seriously. "From now on, you're not allowed to die, Caroline."I broke my promise.In truth, I wanted to keep it.Ever since I had been with her, my depression had lessened, and soon I didn't need medication anymore.Amber would take me to eat delicious food, write "Happy Birthday to Carrie" on my birthday cake, ride a motorcycle with me to see the beautiful night view by the river, and sing me the songs she had just composed.She once asked me earnestly, "Carrie, I don't have any fami
Last Updated : 2023-12-22Death and Insanity Chapter 13 Panic
Chapter 13 PanicThe fifth day after my death, Dexter's brows furrowed deeper, and he started to panic a little.Before, the longest time I had ever run away from home was three days.Now I looked forward to seeing his reaction when he learned of my death.Amber once told me to live in the moment and to be happy.Soon, my grades plummeted rapidly.They dropped so much that I had to talk with the teachers at school, and Dexter was summoned to the office.When we got home, he predictably blew up at me."Caroline, you're already 18. Can't you be more mature?"Do you think dropping your grades to seek attention is cool?"In the past, I would do anything to gain the attention of my dad and brother.I even saw nosebleeds as a stroke of luck.At least then, Dexter and our dad would gather around me, looking at me a little longer.But now, for me, the meaning of studying hard was lost. I just wanted to follow my heart and live a happier life.I no longer argued with him.Instead
Last Updated : 2023-12-22Death and Insanity Chapter 14 Unexpected Love
Chapter 14 Unexpected LoveAmber never let me go home alone, and she wouldn't let me drink when we hung out.When she got drunk, she would have a close friend send me home.They were all very gentlemanly and more real than Dexter's well-dressed friends.I finally understood that birds of a feather really flocked together.In Dexter's eyes, I was dirty, so his friends thought it was okay to touch me casually.In contrast, Amber treated me like a sister, and her friends treated me nicely.There was an unexpected event. A boy said he liked me.From the moment he first saw me, he liked me.Amber winked at me and pulled me aside to whisper to me, "Eric is a good kid. He has never dated since I've known him, and he doesn't fool around when we go out."If you like him, you can give it a try. But girls should try to avoid dating early."I started dating Eric Graves.Only then did I understand how a boy treated a girl when he loved her.When Eric drove me home, Dexter saw us.He s
Last Updated : 2023-12-22Death and Insanity Chapter 15 Painful Memory
Chapter 15 Painful Memory"Do you have no sense of shame, Caroline?"Do you want to sleep with that bastard so much?" Dexter barked.I fumed with rage until my vision was blurred.I mustered all my strength and slapped him.Dexter's head tilted, and a distinct mark was left on his fair face.His eyes were filled with disbelief.This was the first and last time I resisted him.I wanted to leave this family forever."Brother, this is the last time I call you like this."You raised me for 18 years, and I suffered for 18 years."You don't deserve to be my brother."Dexter raised his eyebrows, narrowed his eyes, and pursed his lips into a thin line. He looked like an enraged lion, trying hard to suppress his anger.In a moment, his face began to distort. He grabbed my shoulders and shook them violently."Caroline, you've lost your mind."When you regret it, I won't forgive you or let you go back to my home," he said.I snorted and looked him in the eye."That's what I hope
Last Updated : 2023-12-22Death and Insanity Chapter 16 Worried
Chapter 16 WorriedOn the seventh day after my death, Dexter decided to go out and look for me for the first time.However, Lana stopped him, saying, "Carrie must have gone to that man's house."If you go and find her now, you may run into her boyfriend."She stopped without making it explicit.Dexter sat down heavily on the leather sofa and threw the car keys aside, abandoning the idea of looking for me.I saw a smug smile on Lana's face.Shortly after, Dexter called his buddy and complained about me. "Caroline has been gone for seven days. She must be fooling around.""Tsk, I've seen your sister a few times at the bar, surrounded by shady characters," said his friend."She's probably in someone's arms now."I listened with a cold face as Dexter and his friend slandered my innocence.It turned out I was a loose woman in his mind.I drifted away, watching the countless lights shining in the distance.I couldn't summon any emotions anymore.I thought of Amber and Eric.Th
Last Updated : 2023-12-22Death and Insanity Chapter 17 An Unexpected Visit
Chapter 17 An Unexpected VisitI didn't expect that Amber would come to my house.She disliked Dexter and would never come to this remote suburb unless she had to escort me home sometimes.She came this time because I hadn't answered her calls for seven days.When Dexter opened the door and saw Amber, with a tattoo on her collarbone and a rebellious hairstyle, his brows furrowed deeply.Just as he was about to speak, Amber said first, "Where have you kept Carrie?"Dexter frowned and asked back condescendingly, "Isn't she hanging out with you guys?"He looked down on everyone who was on good terms with me.But while he could insult me, I wouldn't allow him to insult my friends.Amber was stunned, her eyes widening.Then her face turned cold. "Dexter, are you so heartless?"Your sister has been missing for seven days, and you haven't even looked for her?"Aren't you afraid something might have happened to her?"Dexter's hand gripping the doorknob turned white. I saw a moment
Last Updated : 2023-12-22
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Death and Insanity Extra Story
Extra StoryLana couldn't bear the campus violence. She jumped off the high-rise building half a year later.Standing in front of the building, she thought that the seemingly fragile me was quite resilient.After all, I had endured Dexter's emotional abuse for 18 years and suffered from campus bullying for six years, from middle school to high school.I didn't commit suicide, but I was killed in a car accident.How ironic!Upon hearing the news, Dexter just sneered."Serves her right," he said. "She got off easy."Everyone knew Dexter, the young and promising CEO of the Bell Corporation.There was a large photo hanging in his house, rumored to be his sister.Dexter searched through the house and his phone, but he couldn't find a single photo of me.Finally, he found one on my retrieved phone.In the photo, I wore a white dress and a tiara embedded with sparkling diamonds that shimmered in the sunlight.My eyes were bright and joyful, holding a birthday cake in my hands.I
Death and Insanity Chapter 23 Forget and Live
Chapter 23 Forget and LiveDexter revealed a fanatical look, and I was confused.He extended his arms toward me."Carrie, my sister, I finally see you again," he said.I turned away with disgust."Dexter, I told you before," I continued. "I won't call you brother anymore, and I am not your sister."The excitement in his eyes gradually faded, and his arms slowly dropped."Would you be a little happier if I were to die?" he whispered pleadingly."No," I replied. "If possible, I hope that you..."He listened quietly, with a faint smile and nearly pathological devotion."Live a long life and grow old alone."His smile froze. "Carrie, what are you saying?""I'm saying that you can't die," I said. "Because I don't want to see you."Dexter, in this life and the next, I don't want to see you ever again."On the day I left this world, I went to see Eric and Amber one last time.They were standing in front of my grave, paying their respects to me.The wind blew over, and I watche
Death and Insanity Chapter 22 Recalling the Past
Chapter 22 Recalling the PastAs if hearing my inner monologue, Dexter suddenly looked up and gazed at the empty room, the place where I used to live. It was so empty, as if no one had ever lived there.Ironically, Lana had everything that I didn't."Carrie, are you here? I can feel your presence," Dexter muttered, lost and disoriented.He sat down in my room.Anita, the housekeeper, came up and sighed."Dexter, restrain your sorrow. Carrie cared about you so much."When you got drunk, she prepared the sobering soup and oatmeal for you."And those eye protection things on your desk, too."Your shirts and other clothes were all ironed by her," she said.Dexter suddenly remembered a long time ago, when he came home drunk and saw me poking my head out timidly from my room, looking at him. At that time, I had just entered middle school, and he was constantly busy with work.What did he do back then?He tried hard to recall."If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have been so exh
Death and Insanity Chapter 21 Settling Scores
Chapter 21 Settling ScoresDexter investigated all the things that happened to me.Only then did he realize how much Lana had done behind his back.It turned out he didn't know.I thought he knew everything.I watched as he pulled Lana, who was in class, out of the classroom and dragged her into the girls' restroom.He copied all my experiences, calling over several people to take photos of Lana and anonymously post them on school forums.There was also the matter of her spreading rumors about me and leading people to bully me on campus.When evil rebounded, its power was greater.Lana became notorious.She suffered a thousand times more torment than I did.She knelt outside the door, begging Dexter to spare her.She couldn't understand all of this. Dexter hated me. Wasn't he supposed to be happy about my death?Why did he bother holding Lana accountable for her past actions, settling scores one by one?He acted as if he cared about me so much.Meanwhile, the rapist was
Death and Insanity Chapter 20 Ashes to Ashes
Chapter 20 Ashes to AshesEric and Amber went to find Dexter for my ashes.Their eyes were swollen from crying.I reckoned that bonds couldn't be measured by time. I lived with Dexter for 18 years, but he never hugged me once.He never loved me for a single moment.Most of the love I received in this world came from Amber and Eric.I died on the night when I was rushing toward a new life."Give Carrie's ashes back to us," Amber said icily."Carrie wouldn't want to stay by your side. The last thing she did was leave you, didn't she?"Amber didn't curse at Dexter as bitterly as she had in front of me.She tried to maintain her dignity because she didn't want people to look down on me to become friends with someone who swore all the time."Dexter, I know how much you hate Carrie," Amber continued, staring at Dexter.Dexter's gaze was down as he held my ashes in his hands.He remained silent. What else could he say?But Amber wasn't planning to let him off. "Otherwise, why di
Death and Insanity Chapter 19 Mourning the Loss
Chapter 19 Mourning the LossThe police skipped that part and found me being hit by a car on the roadside.The police looked sympathetic, patting Dexter's shoulder.They didn't say anything.Dexter collapsed onto the ground, with a lost and bewildered look in his eyes.Time seemed to go back to a long time ago, when he was a child of ten.He watched his sister be born and his mother die.The pain now was no lighter than it was back then.It didn't take Dexter much time to find my body.I lay there quietly, pale, cold, and stiff.The hospital staff lamented, "Poor girl! Only 18, they say."But there were also complaints. "It took so long for her family to come."Their eyes swept over Dexter, expressing dissatisfaction with him.He deserved condemnation, as most of my life was ruined by Dexter.A small part was destroyed by Lana.They were executioners.Holding my body, Dexter said, "Carrie, I'm here to take you home."Are you feeling cold?"He shivered from the cold bu
Death and Insanity Chapter 18 Reporting My Disappearance
Chapter 18 Reporting My DisappearanceDexter thought countless times.If that night he had followed his heart to go look for me, things might be different.But he had stopped at the door, thinking that I would come back.No matter how he scolded me, I was still his sister and his only relative in this world."Where did she go?" Dexter wondered.He went to the police station and reported my disappearance."How many days has she been missing?" asked the police."Seven days," Dexter replied guiltily."Are you her brother? Your sister has been missing for seven days, and you're only reporting it now?" said the policeman unpleasantly, his eyes scanning Dexter.A growing sense of unease gradually intensified in Dexter's heart.He couldn't think rationally at all.A voice kept ringing in his ear. "Aren't you afraid something might happen to her?"I hovered in the air, watching Dexter run around like a headless chicken.It was quite funny.For the first time, he was so anxious b
Death and Insanity Chapter 17 An Unexpected Visit
Chapter 17 An Unexpected VisitI didn't expect that Amber would come to my house.She disliked Dexter and would never come to this remote suburb unless she had to escort me home sometimes.She came this time because I hadn't answered her calls for seven days.When Dexter opened the door and saw Amber, with a tattoo on her collarbone and a rebellious hairstyle, his brows furrowed deeply.Just as he was about to speak, Amber said first, "Where have you kept Carrie?"Dexter frowned and asked back condescendingly, "Isn't she hanging out with you guys?"He looked down on everyone who was on good terms with me.But while he could insult me, I wouldn't allow him to insult my friends.Amber was stunned, her eyes widening.Then her face turned cold. "Dexter, are you so heartless?"Your sister has been missing for seven days, and you haven't even looked for her?"Aren't you afraid something might have happened to her?"Dexter's hand gripping the doorknob turned white. I saw a moment
Death and Insanity Chapter 16 Worried
Chapter 16 WorriedOn the seventh day after my death, Dexter decided to go out and look for me for the first time.However, Lana stopped him, saying, "Carrie must have gone to that man's house."If you go and find her now, you may run into her boyfriend."She stopped without making it explicit.Dexter sat down heavily on the leather sofa and threw the car keys aside, abandoning the idea of looking for me.I saw a smug smile on Lana's face.Shortly after, Dexter called his buddy and complained about me. "Caroline has been gone for seven days. She must be fooling around.""Tsk, I've seen your sister a few times at the bar, surrounded by shady characters," said his friend."She's probably in someone's arms now."I listened with a cold face as Dexter and his friend slandered my innocence.It turned out I was a loose woman in his mind.I drifted away, watching the countless lights shining in the distance.I couldn't summon any emotions anymore.I thought of Amber and Eric.Th
