CHAPTER 4

TOO HARD TO LET GO

NADIN'S POV

Being in the room alone that same evening.

It just occurred to me while I had some moments of serenity that I was 4 weeks pregnant which I intended to keep away from Ethan, even before the divorce and then subsequently the acid incident

He had always insisted he was not ready to have kids while we were married, so there was no need of letting him know about it then.

Then, he made sure we used protection while getting intimate, but I had to find a way to secure his sperm from the cond*m, the last time we did.

The whole experience I've had is beginning to reflect again as if it just happened the previous day.

And I was sure the doctor must have flushed it out once they discovered it because of my condition then.

I wouldn't want to discuss that with anyone, not even Luciano because that was not necessary.

Besides, the doctor must have let him know before doing so.

I looked out the blurred window, not far from where I sat on my bed, and noticed the rainstorm coming down in a torrential fashion.

I stood up and got close to the window.

The sound of thunder and the intensity of lightning were so terrifying that I felt like I was the one chosen to suffer the world's wrath.

At the same time, hot tears were pouring down my cheeks for no reason, and the thunder was so loud that it was impossible to hear my cries.

I think the rain seemed to share the sorrow I had inside me, like it was mourning along with me. Likewise, I was convinced that it had a way of understanding the depths of my pain at this moment.

This pain.

The trauma.

The emotional torture and torture.

Everything seemed to linger in my heart.

The truth is, I don't think the pain of betrayal by the one I loved and my step sister will ever go away.

Even though I tried to force myself to take it down, it wasn't too easy.

One thing is to make up your mind to forget certain things, and the other is to let it be that way.

Part of me wants to forget everything about them and move on with the new family that welcomed me.

After all, they must have forgotten about me, thinking I was dead by now.

But No! After a long absence, I will return to take possession of what is rightfully mine.

I rubbed my chest, trying to ease the pain that seemed to swell in there, but it had no effect, as I could still feel it right inside.

The last thing I could remember Ethan saying to me was that I was dead to him and that he no longer wanted to have anything to do with me.

I never knew there was a bigger plan to end my life.

Knowing it isn't worth the hassle, I try so hard to shake off the heaviness that settles over my heart.

They never loved me, and I need to get off that fallacy.

“Please make it stop. Make the emotional torture stop.” I pleaded with whichever higher power was there to listen to me.

Now, I was so tired of tearing myself up, but I can't seem to stop.

Furthermore, I wish I could go back in time and change things about myself.

However, it's a thing of the past, and once it happens, you can never change it.

With that thought in mind, I closed my eyes tightly and clenched my fists in pain

I didn't realize I was standing for almost half an hour, still shedding uncontrollable tears.

Abruptly, I took out the knife I had hidden under the pillow and cut the front of my wrist.

I needed my blood to flow in as much as my tears did in agony.

In no time, I fell to the ground, but I was conscious.

I noticed someone rushed into my room and asked in shock, “What are you doing?”

That was Luciano.

“Do you want to kill yourself?”

This time he shouted angrily, seeing blood dripping from my hand.

“I want revenge. I want all of them to go to hell.”

“If you must do that, then you need to at least stay alive.” He retorted immediately, at a calmer tone pace. It was just the opposite of the last tone he used.

He got the home nurse who came and stopped the bleeding with a first aid treatment.

After the nurse left, Luciano sat me down, facing opposite him.

“This is your new ID.” He said, handing over what appeared to be a document he had come in with.

“It says that you are Jasmine Damon…

Grew up in an orphanage.

Graduated from Evergreen University.

This way, I think it will lower their awareness and make it difficult for them to suspect anything. I think this is what you want right now.”

That was indeed so thoughtful of him.

I was dumbfounded by how he went out of his way to get this done just for my sake.

I couldn't help but hug him, but still couldn't say a single word.

After he let out of my embrace, he continued, “You can leave anytime you wish—tomorrow…, next.

But always remember, this is your home after all.

And if you ever need my help with anything, please don't hesitate to contact me. Before you know it, I will be at your beck and call.”

“Thank you so much. All these wouldn't have been possible without you. I owe you.” I finally managed to say when I could hold back my words.

“You don't have to feel indebted; I just want to see you happy. I hope you are cool with the idea.”

Was he kidding me?

“Of course, that was just the perfect idea. I never thought of it all this time.” I replied to him, looking overjoyed.

Now, I see that what held me back was how and where to start, but that has now been resolved.

I need to see it this way: I think the pain makes me who I am now.

Nevertheless, I remembered that I had promised myself at the hospital bed that I would no longer be less nor allow anyone to look down on me or put me down.

The days of karma are about to descend upon them, and it signals the end of their good days.

Ethan, Bella’s princely and princess-like lives are over.