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T E N Y E A R S A G O
NEW YORK CITY
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[ K A R A ]
“Mom! I’m home!” I exclaimed as I pushed the door open and raced towards the kitchen. Grandma followed right behind me, and she was carrying my backpack and my third grade report card.
Today was a big day. It was the last day of school before summer vacation starts, so I was absolutely energetic. Not to mention, my eighth birthday was tomorrow, and mom had promised a very special present, a trip to Disneyworld.
My mom just recently got a job as an air stewardess for American Airlines. As a perk for working for the airlines, mom was given travel credits and she said we could use it to go to Disney. I thought that was the best thing ever created since sliced bread. For years, I was a huge Disney nerd, and going to Disney was my lifelong dream.
“Hey, kiddo,” said a man dressed in a pilot’s uniform, standing in the middle of our kitchen.
“You’re not my mommy,” I eyed him suspiciously.
The strange man laughed away, but I wasn’t amused. Thankfully, mom appeared not too long after that. She had changed out of her stewardess uniform and she was wearing a fancy dress. Too fancy to wear inside the house.
“Kara, sweetie, this is Carl, this is mom’s friend,” she said to me.
“Okay,” I shrugged. I didn’t care about Carl, mom had so many guy friends, it was hard to keep track. I wanted to direct my mom’s attention to something far more important, so I tugged on her dress and said, “Mom, guess what? It’s Friday today,”
“I know it’s Friday. That’s why I’m all dressed up. Carl and I are going to watch a show on Broadway and maybe get some dinner after that,” she replied as she straightened her long velvet dress.
“Oh,” I paused for a beat before asking, “But, we’re still going to Disney tomorrow for my birthday, right? We’ve packed and everything,”
“Of course we are,” she said reassuringly. “Now, mommy has to go, but grandma’s gonna stay with you tonight,”
Mom gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before returning back to Carl. Carl responded by putting a hand on the small of my mom’s back, and I noticed the wedding band around his finger. The two of them then started walking towards the front door, and I found myself following her out.
“But mom, will you be back before Disney?” I asked again, just before Carl and her were about to walk out the door.
“Of course, I promise,” she smiled and waved goodbye. “I’ll be back first thing tomorrow morning,”
“See ya later, Kiddo,” Carl said to me.
“My name is not Kiddo,” I corrected him.
“Oh, she’s so cute,” he chuckled and disappeared out the door.
“Bye, sweetheart,” mom said again before the door closed in front of my face.
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Not wanting to be pessimistic, I took mom for her word and packed my little pink suitcase later that night. Grandma helped me pack and she made sure that I got my sunscreen and everything. I was so excited about Disney, I went to sleep watching The Adventures of Winnie the Pooh in the DVR. I went to sleep believing that tomorrow was going to be the best day ever. Unfortunately, the next morning, I woke up to my grandma loudly screaming into the telephone.
“Lacey! You are not doing this to your daughter! I don’t care if you’re in the Hamptons or in South Africa. This is your daughter’s eight birthday. You promised her you’d be here. I raised you better than this!”
Talk about a rude awakening.
“She’s your child and I’m her grandmother! I’m not supposed to be here raising her. You get your ass back home right now!”
My fingers went to rub my tired eyes as I got off the bed and made my way out of my room. Grandma was pacing back and forth in the kitchen with her cellphone stuck to her ear. Once grandma spotted me, she gasped in shock and she had a sorry look on her face. I knew grandma didn’t mean to wake me up by yelling so loudly into the phone, but she forgot that we live in a small apartment in New York City. She could be whispering in the kitchen and I would still be able to hear her in my room.
“Fine, whatever, but you owe her big time,” grandma sighed into the phone. “And you owe me big time too!”
I could make out my mom’s voice from grandma’s cellphone. She said about ‘thank you’ and ‘see you later’.
“Grandma? Is everything okay?” I asked her as soon as she put the phone down. “Is mom coming soon? Are you going back to New Jersey?”
My grandma lived in New Jersey, and she was only supposed to watch over me last night. This morning, mom was going to come home and we would go to LaGuardia airport for our trip.
Grandma shook her head and put her hand on my cheek. “No sweetie, grandma’s going to be here for another day,”
“But, mom and I are leaving for Disney?”
“Kara, I’m so sorry dear,” she sighed. “Turns out, you can’t go to Disney today,”
“What? Why?” I whined.
“Your mom’s… out of town… for work,”
“But, but… she promised…”
“I know, dear. I’m sorry. But, I’ll tell you what? I’ll take you to the movies and then we can go to the park. We can also go to that diner you like and get you some cake?”
That sounded lovely and all, but I already packed for Disney. I was wearing my favorite Minnie Mouse underwear and everything.
“But… what about Disneyworld?” I protested.
“You can go to Disneyworld with your mom next year? Okay?”
Not okay. So not okay. But even then at eight years old, I knew there was nothing I could do. As a single mother, my mom was never home a lot, and my grandma was powerless. I was told that everyone was doing their best, so I knew not to be an entitled brat. All I could do right now was to accept defeat and maybe change into a different underwear.
“You promise?” I asked grandma longingly.
“I promise,” she said.
I heard that word being thrown around a lot, and the older I got, the more meaningless it got as well. It was at this birthday that I realized you couldn’t ever depend on other people, because people will always break your heart.
“Grandma,” I said after she sat me down on the kitchen counter. She had her back turned to me as she was making some breakfast.
“Yes, dear?”
“Where’s my dad?”
Grandma turned around instinctively. She then let out a sigh and said, “He’s a sad excuse of a man, Kara. You don’t need someone like him in your life. You have your mom and you have me,”
Unlike most of my friends in my school, my mom and dad were never together. They had split up even before I was born. I heard that he was a successful man and that he spent a lot of time in Europe. I was told that we had met when he was in New York, but I didn’t remember much because I was only three years old. I knew that was a petty question to ask my grandma, but I was eight, and I was desperate for some type of birthday miracle of any kind.
“Mom’s not even here,” I sulked.
Grandma pulled me into a hug and stroked my hair gently. With her gaze fixed on the wall behind me, she said, “Your mom is… in love right now. And the thing about love… Love can make people do some very stupid things, like being away from their sweet baby,”
I didn’t quite understand what she meant by that, but I had a feeling that my mom was like my friend Macy at school. Macy used to be my best friend until she started liking Connor and now all she wanted to do was eat lunch with Connor. Carl was my mom’s Connor of the week. She was leaving me so she could have lunch with him.
“Just promise me, Kara, when you grow up someday, you’ll have better taste in men,” grandma said suddenly.
“I promise,” I nodded my head.
It was at this moment when I realized that I wanted to be better than Macy or my mom. I didn’t want to be that girl that waits around for someone to love her back.
I promise, I’m never going to fall in love.
That way, I’ll never have to feel disappointed again when someone promised they’d take me to Disneyworld and they didn't.
I promise, I’ll be better.
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- - - - - To Be Continued - - - - -
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *P R E S E N T D A Y NEW YORK CITY* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *[ K A R A ]"I can't believe you're getting married to a man you barely even know, you've only known him for 3 months!" I said, stomping off to the kitchen with my dirty plates."But I've never felt this way before, honey. This time it's for real, I just know it," mom followed right behind me."That's what you said about the last— I don't know how many men, Lacey,""Hey, you're walking on thin ice right now Kara. And I am not Lacey, I'm your mother," She said rather sternly.Yeah, maybe I'll call you that when you start acting like one, I thought to myself. That sounded super catty and I wouldn't say it out loud, of course. No matter how much I disagreed with my mom's decision to get married so suddenly, I would not hurt her feelings like that.Something that you should know about my mom, she was only 16 when she had me. She had t
[ K A R A ]"So, this is your first time in Hawaii, right Kara?"Peter was making small talk as the four of us sat together for lunch later that day. It was supposed to be a friendly get-to-know-you kind of event."Yes," I replied shortly. I was always awkward with these kinds of things."Well, you're gonna have so much fun, what do you like to do?""I don't know,” I shrugged. “Read books, watch movies, maybe do some writing…""Oh, Kara is a fantastic writer, she got a full ride to study writing in Columbia," Lacey exclaimed proudly."That's fantastic, good for you," Peter said, and I smiled politely back at him.As all of this was happening, Ryder was sitting in front of me, not giving much thought to this conversation. He was busily typing on his phone."What about you Ryder? Are you going to college in the state or…?" Lacey turned to Ryder but he did not respond, still busy on his phone.Peter kicked Ryder's feet under the table. He looked up in shock, and I found it amusing."Ry h
[ K A R A ]Throughout the rest of the car ride, Ryder and I were mostly silent. I was slurping my milkshake and he was humming to the music in his car, but that was about it.After a while of driving, the car finally stopped by this cliff. It was a beautiful place, with the whole ocean standing gloriously below us. The sun outside was barely setting, and the sky was pastel pink and orange and purple. Even the clouds looked like they were cotton candy. I had never seen a sunset this beautiful in the city."Well, little sis, I present to you, Hawaii," Ryder said proudly. "Not too bad, huh?""Wow,” I gaped. “This is even better than my desktop wallpaper. Is this like a national park or something?""No, this here is just one of my favorite spots on the island,”“Do you come here a lot?”“Sometimes,” he shrugged. “I come here mainly when I want to be alone and think,"Somehow, I sensed that Ryder was staring at me, and not at the view. But when I turned to him and caught him looking at me
[ K A R A ]And right at that moment when our lips barely touched..."RJ! My man!" we heard a loud yell coming from behind us. We instantly pulled apart.A few guys and girls were coming towards us. Thankfully, we were somewhat hidden behind Ryder's car, so they couldn't possibly saw what was happening."We saw your car when we passed by, thought we'd see you here," said a guy in a white t-shirt and jeans. His smile was kind of cute, especially with them dimples."Oh hey, you guys, how's it going?" Ryder nodded at the group of people. These people looked like they came out straight out of an episode of The O.C."Who's this?" The dimple guy turned to me, totally checking me out. And of course, I blushed immediately."This is Kara, my uh, step-sister. Kara, these are my friends." before Ryder could say their names, Dimple Guy moved up and gave his hand out to me."Cameron, nice to meet you," he smiled that mega-watt smile again."Nice to meet you too," I replied politely and took his ha
[ R Y D E R ]Okay, I knew I shouldn't be messing around with my stepsister's head like that, but come on, she was too cute for her own good. And I didn’t understand how she was still a virgin. Guys must threw themselves at her, I mean look at her. I could only wonder how she survived 18 years of living, without having once tasted the best feeling in the world.As we were driving to the party, when I knew she wasn't looking, I turned my gaze at her and admired the view. She was wearing these super skinny jeans that hugged her ass perfectly. And that off-shoulder blouse, her collarbone was practically screaming "eat me" at me.Whoa, pull it together!Yeah, yeah, I knew that she was off limits. She was gonna be my fucking stepsister in two months. Goddamn it, she was biting her lips now. Her skin was like porcelain, with the slightest touch of pink, and I had to keep putting my hands in my pocket or else it was gonna wanna—oh shit, she was looking at me, look away!* * * * * * * * * * *
[ K A R A ]Cameron and I were already in the car, driving on our way home when I saw Ryder's number calling me."Hey Ry," I picked up, somewhat slurring."Where the hell are you!?" he shouted at me furiously."I'm on my way home, I left you a text,""I'll take you home, don't get in the car with Cameron! Do you hear me? I said—""Psssh, why you yelling so loud-eh? My ears are hurtin'! I'm almost home ok, I'll see you later," Without giving him a chance to say anything else, I turned off the call.He tried to call again, and I simply rejected it. My head was pounding and I didn’t feel like getting yelled at some more. What was wrong with him anyway, first he ditched me and now he wanted to find me?"Everything ok?" Cameron asked."Yeah, it was just Ryder being a weirdo, whatever," I shrugged and leaned my head against the window.I must have blacked out for a bit, maybe for a few minutes, because when I woke up next, I saw that we weren’t on our way home. I had memorized the streets t
[ K A R A ]On our way back home, Ryder and I didn't say one word to each other. But he gave me the occasional glance, as if to check if I was okay. I sat silently in the car, still trying to process everything. Every time I remembered what just happened, I felt like throwing up. But I reminded myself that it was done and I was okay now. I was sitting in Ryder’s truck with him, and I felt warm and snug under his jacket. Being able to inhale his scent over and over again felt amazing because it really told me that I was truly safe.When Ryder and I finally got to the house, he parked the car and took a deep breath before killing the engine. It looked like he wanted to say something, but he wasn’t sure."Thank you for... coming for me," I said lowly, deciding to break the silence for us.Ryder sighed in exasperation. "I told you not to get in the car with him, why didn't you listen to me?" he said rather sternly."I was feeling sick, he offered to take me home. And you ditched me, I cou
[ K A R A ]A couple of days had passed since the whole bonfire fiasco and I was feeling much better. A few days ago, I got to see Ryder's surfing match for the first time with mom and Peter. I didn’t quite know the rules of surfing matches, but I knew that Ryder did very well. I was told that he scored enough points to compete in the next round.Though I didn’t understand the rules, I now understood why girls would want to date surfer guys. I mean, just look at how cool and passionate Ryder was when he was competing. There was something about all that passion that just drew you in. And don’t get me started on that moment when he returned to the shore after his surf. Shaking his wet hair from side to side, he would get up from the waters below with his board shorts hanging low, his toned body all wet and tan and that gorgeous smile on his face...Holy cabbage! Stop thinking about that— you're not helping yourself, woman!Anyway, things were great for us. Mom and Peter seemed really ha
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * TWO YEARS LATER GOLD COAST, AUSTRALIA * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * [ R Y D E R ] The dawn was breaking outside the window. This bluish and orange light was creeping up the night sky, signaling the beginning of yet another day. 6:30 AM, the clock read. Kara was still sound asleep, maybe last night took a toll on her? Last night was... a lot of fun. I was getting hard all over again just thinking about it. Slowly I rolled over to my side, carefully wrapping her tiny body in my arms. My fingers ran to caress her soft cheeks. "Hey..." I murmured to her ears as she shuffled a little. "Mmhmm," she mumbled, still closing her eyes. "Merry Christmas, baby," It was Christmas day in Australia, you would not have guessed it from the weather outside. It was 85 degrees and nothing but sunshine on the horizon. Apparently, that was how Christmas was done over here in the land down under. Kara wasn’t saying anything. She refused to wake up
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *ONE YEAR LATERTAHITI, FRENCH POLYNESIA* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *[ K A R A ]“Ry…?”I woke up this morning shivering and cold. This usually wouldn’t happen. Especially that we were living in Tahiti now, it was 80 degrees outside. And normally, I would wake up with Ryder’s body wrapping around mine like a blanket. He always made me feel warm, so I didn’t even need a duvet. But today, I woke up with the bed empty and it felt cold.“Ry?” I said again, but I heard no answer.I stirred in bed and slowly propped myself up. Ryder wasn’t anywhere in the room. I glanced at the clock and it was still 5 o’clock in the
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *ONE MONTH LATERHUNTINGTON BEACH, CA* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *[ K A R A ]The first thing I noticed about California was the air. The air was salty, but breezy and cool. Ryder and I arrived in the golden state a few days ago. We were living in a cute little Airbnb right by the beach. It was the coolest thing ever.Every morning, Ryder would go out to train by the beach. The first contest on his world tour would be held here next week. Every morning, I would wake up with him, make coffee, and I’d do a little writing as I
* This is a bonus chapter with Peter and Lacey's POV. Enjoy! *[ P E T E R ]“It’s a great wedding, huh?”My eyes were glancing around the room and I locked eyes with my ex-wife. We exchanged a smile and I thought it was polite to make small talk. What I didn't realize was how awkward it was, talking to my ex-wife at our children’s wedding.“Yeah, it is,” she replied.I was holding a glass of scotch and she was holding a glass of champagne. We were both standing by the sidelines, watching our two kids share the dance floor as bride and groom. It was quite an ironic sight. Life had a pretty crazy sense of humor. I remembered a few years ago when it was Lacey and me out on this dance floor, dancing as the bride and groom. We were so happy back then. We thought we were in it for the long haul. And yet here we were, only a
* This is a bonus chapter from Elle and Cole's POV. Enjoy! *[ E L L E ]It was a beautiful night in Hawaii and a wonderful wedding. My best friend, Kara, just got married to the love of her life and I couldn’t be more proud. Today was supposed to be one of the happiest days of our lives, but it felt rather bittersweet.One person’s happiness is another person’s tragedy.I saw Cole standing silently by the sidelines and my heart sunk to my feet. Cole had been in love with Kara for years. That was actually how we met and became friends. He was introduced to me by a friend and he was telling me how he was in love with his best friend. I thought guys like him were so adorable. They were a rare breed. He was so thoughtful and kind. They don’t make guys like this anymore.I decided to help him win the heart of his best friend,
[ R Y D E R ]Kara was probably thinking that I was taking her up to our room, but no. I liked to keep things interesting.So instead, we got some milkshake from my favorite diner and made our way to our Secret Beach. The night was young and full of possibilities. We were giddy and excited, laughing at each other as walked down the beach, barefoot with our hands clasped together. I was reduced to a grinning and smirking mess. Thankfully, she was too."Kara, you're smiling like crazy," I commented."It's because I'm crazy about you, Ryder Jake Williams,""You're so perfect in every way. I'm the luckiest man alive," I stopped our tracks and stood right in front of her.I reached out to hold her hand, and I caught her by her wrist. She flinched when I touched the scar over her tattoo. It had healed, but the mark was still there.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *ONE WEEK LATERKAUAI, HAWAII* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *[ K A R A ]"Oh my God!” mom gasped as soon as I walked into the room. “Ryder's gonna go crazy when he sees you,""Mom!" I hissed and looked away, totally embarrassed."Seriously though, if I swing that way, I would've married you right now," Elle added.It was our wedding day today and I was all dressed up in the bride’s attire. I had curled my hair and let them down, and I was wearing this lovely white lace gown that cascaded down my body so heavenly. When I looked into the mirror, I was in awe too, I couldn't believe myself when I saw my reflection.Ryder going crazy... a girl can only hope.
[ K A R A ]The next thing I know, Ryder and I were driving down the highway in this convertible car. The summer wind was blowing through our hair and Ryder was holding my hand in his throughout the entire ride."We just passed the city limits,” I noted the sign. “Seriously, you're not gonna tell me where we're going?""And ruin the surprise? I think not,""Okay... just answer this then, is it somewhere where we could get a milkshake?" I said it naughtily."Damn, look at you go," he stifled a laugh."Six months of being away from you would do this to a girl,""Baby, I wish I could. But, actually, I want to wait," he said suddenly. "I wanna be that whatever unicorn-guy you've been dreaming of. I'll be that guy that waits for you and loves you no matter what,""What?"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *SIX MONTHS LATERNEW YORK CITY* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *[ K A R A ]"I still can't believe you're getting married to Ryder next week," mom said as she stomped to the kitchen with our dirty plates."You've known him how long exactly? Three months?" she teased, referring to the time when I argued with her over her choices on marrying Peter."Ha-ha, very funny," I laughed sarcastically as I stalked to the living room to continue packing my things.There was so much stuff that I had to sort through, my room was a mess. I even had to use the living room because there wasn't enough space. And now the living room looked like the ballroom in Titanic as they were sinking.If you were