The sun's rays peeks through the bay window of Jordan's rest house and I barely open my eyes to check. I pound my temples. My throat feels dry, a vein on my forehead throbbing and I feel like I just got out of a spinning car. This must be the effect of the alcohol I drank last night. I carefully push myself up to sit and stops abruptly when the throbbing in my head kicks painfully hard. Oh what a pleasant morning!I climb out of the bed and rush to the bathroom. I am mortified by the face in the mirror that greets me. I must have been very drunk that I actually forgot to take off my make up. Now I look like a raccoon, heavy black mascara and liner smudged around my eyes like lopsided dark rings. I sigh. Good thing I didn't give in Jordan's charm immediately last night. If I did he would have seen me in this miserable look. I turn the faucet, taking my make up off with the running water, washing my face several times. I pluck several tissues from a box on the shelf and wipe it all ov
I open my eyes and study the four corners around me. Last night had ignited quickly that I almost forgot the time Jordan carried me to his bed. Last night was something special, and I won't deny that I've been looking forward for it since we arrived here. The ritual had been long, steamy and slow and each second spent with him last night I have cherished. An experience I will carry with me to my grave. I stare thoughtfully at the naked man I am on top of. It's as if I am a prisoner, willingly offering myself to his captive. I glide my fingers down to his chest, each well-defined muscle of him marking forever in my mind. I wanted Jordan all along. Shame how I didn't realize it sooner.Carefully I move away from him as I plan to get to the bathroom. I startle when his arms catches me by my waist.“Where do you think you're going, woman?” Jordan sits erect and nibbles on my ear, keeping me close.“Jordan, you surprised me. I'm not planning to sneak out. I promise,” I chuckle.“I just w
Friday | Crown Building “Sir, I just received an invitation from Mr. Barkley. He says he would like you to come to a dinner party at his mansion next Saturday,” I say to Mr. Crown politely as he is sitting in his chair, his fingers running across the keyboard of his laptop.“Refuse the invitation. I already have plans this Saturday,” he orders with high authority.“Noted, sir.” I type something on the iPad I am holding, composing a response for Mr. Barkley's invitation. I scroll down to unread messages on his emails and finds a message from someone that impacts me such. I hesitate for a bit.“You have a message from Barbara Lang, sir,” I stutter intermittently.Mr. Crown pauses and the faint sound of the keyboard suddenly vanishes. His eyes casts up at me. The same eyes that used to look at me with interest. But now, beneath those blue eyes oh his is pure nothing but ice.“What does she want?” He sighs disappointedly, like he has received a message from someone who's in debt with him
After my shift ended, Jean and I met at the local bar we used to go to.The bar is loud and reverberating, and looks downright painful to the eye. Disco lights dances and spins, a catchy playlist of nothing but disco songs fills the establishment with power and energy—the exact opposite of what feelings I possess the whole time I got here.Women wiggle their bodies like worms, quietly offering themselves to potential one night stands while men decide who to pick. Stereotyped situations like this never get old, and it can never be denied because why else would sinners go to bars? To get laid of course. “This is your suggestion?” I shout over the ear splitting sound that colonized the entirety of the establishment.“This is everybody's suggestion!” Jean shouts back.“Why else would you visit bars like this? To drink your troubles away of course. To get wasted!”Jean howls and begins to wiggle, influenced by the catchy music.“Come on! Dance!” she bubbles, shaking her limbs, dancing ero
Entirely unprepared for the physical impact of the man, I cease to breathe. From the way Jean would glance at the two of us, it must have been obvious from her; Sebastian's eyes and mine sharing the same comprehension. I don't realize her existence at first, too stunned to even look away from this handsome specimen. It should be a crime to look this attractive. If that would somehow be a law, this man would be guilty and most likely sentenced to death. Our gaze settles for a moment, but for me it seems like I am counting everyone's fingers.I should still be in agony. I should still look gloomy. However with the surprising presence and the mysterious blaze of his charisma deep within those eyes of his, all the negative emotions suddenly seem to slowly disappear. He's not Jordan Crown, but he also has a bad effect on me.Jean clears her throat, causing me to shake my mind off of my reverie. I look away and avoid the man's gaze, who seem to be doing the same.“You almost forgot that I
Saturday | New YorkI open my eyes and cover it immediately, troubled by the warm light that the sun has bathe me over. My head feels heavy and I almost feel like I'm inside a spinning wheel. My stomach grumbles, intestines wiggling like worms. I look around and find myself lying down on the back of Sebastian's white pick-up car, covered by a blanket. I look at myself underneath and realize I'm still naked. I collect my discarded clothings and put them back around my body accordingly as I remain lying down to restrict views from anyone.I push my spine up and sit down on the floor. I glance around the beach. It's so lonely, so calm and tranquil. It's so quiet that I can hear the faint sound of the waves waffling against the sand. The wind blows to my face, but it almost feels like nothing but a kiss from nature. The surrounding feels so peaceful. It almost feels like Earth was reformed and goes back to the state of hers which she's proud of—and the sun—shining through the billowing c
Part IISunday | Sebastian's Condominium“I am a vocalist of a boy band named, Metal Flower,” Sebastian introduce his full self to me.“I also write poems and paint stops occasionally when I'm not occupied with something important.”“Metal flower sounds the best thing to name a band,” I say sarcastically.“It has a deeper meaning. It defies and defines beauty and innocence at the same time. Flower signifies beauty and purity, metal signifies boldness and strength. It's why we came up with the name,” he answers “What do you actually do for a living?” I almost giggle as I fix my position on top of his topless torso. “Me? Well for a living, I sing. If you want to know what my job is then you're not asking the right question,” corrections Sebastian. “What do you mean?” My face contorts a serious expression.“Well, singing is what I do for a living. I feel more alive and happy when I sing. That's not a job. That's more of a passion than a job. But what I really do to survive,” he utters,
Shades that vary from blue to dark blue spread over the horizon as the sun all the way down. The wind feels cold and comfortable as the vehicle ascends the hill.His pick-up car pulls to a stop just outside of the gigantic gates, presumably the only access to the isolated mansion. It's a castle-like mansion. Made mostly of greystone. The path that leads the car in front of the house extends almost as wide as the structure itself. The surrounding is clean, house architectured aesthetically pleasing. The stone and wood detailed structure is framed by flickering gas-lit lanterns and would look astonishing in the evening. The whole lot that surrounds it is vacant. No overly designed grasses, no pool and no fountain of some sort. Just literally a beautiful mansion made of comfort on the top of the hill, isolated from the life of civilization.“This is your mom's house? I ask, digesting each beautiful detail of the house as I climb down from the car. Sebastian gets down from the other side
By the time Sebastian arrives in the visiting room, and sits on the opposite, across the mirror that separates the two of us, he looks rather concerned than frightened. He is accompanied by two uniformed officers and handcuffs limit his hands from unnecessary movements. The bright orange of the inmate uniform he wears glows, but his face doesn't. Our eyes meet for a moment before he decides to sit down. He drops his eyes in visible guilt. I almost cried watching wearing that outfit and in handcuffs. Sebastian wasn't like this a few months ago. He used to be the charming, charismatic, outgoing and nice vocalist who once colored my life. And now his life is dull. He looks tired and pale, and wrinkles begin to form on his face in just a matter of days. And yes I said 'he used to'. Implying something that went down the drain miserably. It's horrifying how one person's life can change in an instant. I grab the telephone hanging against the wall, putting it next to my ear. I wait for
The last glimpse I gave to sleeping Jordan is when I prepared to take off. He was sleeping comfortably and as if in a beautiful dream. I would admit I was hesitating that time and had the urge to rather go back to sleep with him than do this stupid mission. And now I'm on one of the villagers boats and managed to convince him to take me back to New York which is roughly fifteen minutes of sailing from the island. The cold wind that touches the sea before waffling against my face makes me shiver. The same way it makes me as I predict how my mission will end. I needed to sneak from Jordan. I know damn well he won't let me go get my stuff and say my last farewell to his brother. I know I need to do it myself. Who knows what Jordan might do if he goes instead.I won't lie that I'm still having anxiety. Mainly about how Sebastian would react. Would he beat me like what he did a few days ago? Is he doing smoothly by now? The time should be enough for him to clear his mind right? Or is it? I
Love never felt this strong. The wanting, yearning and longing for nothing but his general existence is one struggle I won't hesitate to take over and over again. Jordan for the second time awakened something deep within me I never knew existed until it bloomed, and when I realized it, it was way too late. He has already taken captive my heart, and I doubt he ever has plans to let it go. But I can live with that. In fact I'd even encourage him to do so. Jordan carved my heart, let it go because of failure and was found by his brother. But his brother was not a keeper. Sebastian treated me with no importance. And now the carved heart has finally made its way back again. Perhaps I really was meant to be his. Perhaps it was all a test of time, a test of how great the emotions we shared before. So many things love can affect. Just like how more exciting and pleasurable making love with him has become. He felt so eager, so hungry and full of passion. Not like the rough and selfish sex we
In your adult days—that span where you most likely first experienced a midlife crisis, were you still able to feel great excitement each day of your waking? The same kind of excitement we used to have when we were kids? The same excitement toddlers used to have that restricts them from sleeping? The kind of excitement that seems to highlight the color of your life you weren't expecting the kind of glow was possible? The adrenaline, the consistent and uncontrollable innocent grin and the tippy toes that just seem to not know how to calm down? That kind of excitement? I hope you still did. Because in my case…I do. I open my eyes, blurry and wet and glinting with a strange gleam. This is the first day this year where I am actually looking forward to the day. I actually feel energetic. I must have had a long and undisturbed sleep because I am feeling like I'm in a different body. A new body. But perhaps it's not the body that's new. For years of being in my adult lifespan, I have never f
“Can you walk?” Jordan asks as he guides me up from the bed. I force my feet myself up with every effort that I look like a simple stand is difficult to do. “Yeah. I’m alright,” I reply, enduring the prickling sensation all over my legs. He maintains his assistive hand on mine until I finally stand tall on my feet. The whole thing feels like an achievement. As if standing is something I have never done since the day I was born. I let out a long gasp of relief—the same manner as a thirsty traveler finally drinking water. “That wasn't so bad at all.” I grin, which in response he imitates. “Are you sure you want to walk around? You know you have to take some rest first, right?” says Jordan.“Laying down for the whole day won't help me get over what happened. I'll just end up thinking about it. I need something to occupy myself with,” I reason.“And you think in that state of yours you can do something other than walk?”Before I can ever reply, my limbs suddenly explode in weakness.Be
Confusion and consciousness seems to collapse over me at the awakening of my eyes. The display appears foggy and blurry and as if the world becomes nothing but a Merry-go-round—spinning and spinning, until it finally reaches to the point of my clear vision. A sting quickly triggers the nerves above my eyes as if it's my brows that somehow caused it. My body feels weak and dead and as if I've been in a coma longer than I have ever lived. As if heavy weights laid organized in every part of my body, except for my head. My spine feels stiff because with every effort I give to sit down, I just end up in a series of helpless gasps. I blink my eyes several times, further adjusting my view in focus.I look around. The surrounding is familiar, looking straight out from a place I believe I have been before. A wealthy guy's bedroom, with dark walls and ceilings mostly adored by those ruthless gangsters. The bedroom is abnormally large—as large as Sebastian and I used to live in. That's right. N
Sebastian keeps his tight grip around my wrist as he silently drags me out of the venue. Several people turned to look, but none bothered to intervene—not even Jordan.He clasps my wrist so hard that it almost feels like he's about to shatter the bone inside. Several times I attempted to pull my arm out for my escape because I had already expected another beating from him—something there's no way I'm gonna let happen again.We reach his car—the only time he finally let go of my hand “What’s wrong with you?” I ask, but deep down I already possess the knowledge as to why he suddenly acts drastically. He freezes in the spot he's standing, arms in the waist, visibly fuming. And then he transfers his dangerously dark eyes to me—the eyes that possess mixed emotions in which anger stands out. “When are you planning to tell me, Keila?” And that simple phrase his mouth utters proves my guess even more.“Tell you what?” I swallow hard, uncomfortably carrying the guilt around my shoulders.“Th
Part IIIWe arrive at the venue five minutes before eight. The sky provided a natural disco ball into the house for the guests that had been coming in dozens. The place is fairly-lit, like a setting straight out from books like Pride and Prejudice. A place that holds the kind of lighting that emits a Dark Academia vibe. As expected, each and every lady is sported in expensive dresses, decorated with gold and silver, faces covered by well applied makeup and foundations that didn't fail to make them look and feel good. And as for the gentlemen, suits of various colors are proudly represented by their figures. All with expensive watches that supplied the requirement for a stylish men's attires. As Sebastian and I climb out of the vehicle, and as crowds of suits and dresses trace the stairs that lead them to the entrance, hesitation stops me for a brief moment. I don't know what it actually is that's keeping me from taking one more step.Is it because Sebastian and I are still not on go
I have always believed that there's nothing more painful than break up. But then I realize, being in a relationship where you feel like you don't belong is a greater predicament. I used to feel Sebastian's unconditional love for me. Like he was the sun and I was the flower that happily opens and blooms as another day reunites us. He used to take care of me with his sunshine, giving me the nutrients I need to blossom, and I accepted it, wholeheartedly. Everything seems different now. He's trying to burn me now, his strong heat wanting to destroy me every time he's angry. He did it again. He hurt me once more.Or rather… He destroyed me.. . .The night was sleepless and the tears and agony accompanied me the whole time I lay on the bed. My heart feels like being dropped with a weight, crushing it down into fragments. Sebastian used to be someone to me. He was the one who brought spark to my life, but what's upsetting is that he's also the one who took it. I'm drowning. Now I know w