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CHAPTER 12
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2022-02-26 11:49:19Mommy again convinced me to attend Gov. but in the end, he didn't force me either so we just talked about my upcoming debut. She wanted to throw a big celebration, but I told her I only want a private dinner for it. He didn’t like that either, so I we ended up almost fighting in front of our food. What's the point of a big party if I don't want to be there?
"What are you, Audrey. It's your debut, it should just be a grand celebration! Years ago, you told me you want a grand debut ..." said Janice who also couldn't understand the flow of my brain.
“Things had changed,” I said.
"Maybe it's because you're rebelling against Tita that you don't like what she wants?"
I sighed and looked at her.
"If I want a grand debut, then I will make that happen. You know me. What I want, that's what I will do. And throwing a grand celebration for my birthday isn't part of those."
She sighed.
"What do you plan to do then? What about a s
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The loud ringing of my phone woke me up. I rolled my eyes and punched the phone somewhere. It's the first day of christmas break for pete's sake. Why do I even have an early caller? Is this even urgent?I opened my eyes lazily, also closed my eyes immediately to see who was calling. I held the phone to my ear."Happy eighteenth birthday, Audrey!"I almost threw away the phone because of the strength of Janice’s scream. I muttered a curse. I even forgot it's the day. The only thing I worried about last night was the break and I didn't have to think about school works. I forgot it."Uh, thanks ..." I said hoarsely and tried to get up."I know we'll meet later at the bistro, but I just want to be the first to greet you.""I received advance greetings days ago. Ate also has an advance. So you're not the first greeter," I said and arranged my hair."Whatever. I was just the first to greet the day! There's a difference!""That
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I was right. I just need a break to forget that. I occupied myself about other things, eventually also lost in my mind. And maybe I analyzed my feelings the wrong way. Maybe I was so fond of him, I thought I was starting to develop weird sentiments. It's impossible that I have something for him. For sure it's just the loneliness, to fill the void, I convinced myself so bad.Mommy didn't stop me from spending my break in Ate's house. In Pampanga I spent Christmas and the new year. I received messages from Rustov during those days. I thought that was normal, so I let it go. I didn't reply at his every text, though. Aside from the fact that I don’t always hold the phone, I feel like I need to distance myself from him a bit."What course will you take?" Ate Diana asked while we're eating. It's one of those days Klyde is away for business matters. Though, I’m not convinced of that.I looked at Zach who was straining to reach for the glass of water. I gave
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"Here's your Sazerac, Miss," the bartender once went downstairs to drink.I turned there. My hand grows cold as I touch the glass. The hammering in my chest was distracting. I knew he would come to me but I tried to ignore you. I sipped on my drink. On my second gulp, a hand suddenly grabbed the glass."What the ..." my voice faded midway.Rustov's unforgiving eyes looked at me with anger etched on it. He looked down at the drink for a moment before it landed and stared at me darkly."What are you doing?" I asked angrily."I think I should be the one asking that, Audrey. Drinking hard liquors alone, seriously?""So what? What if I'm drinking alone? What's the problem with that?"His mouth tightened. He's so pissed now."Let's talk outside," he said sternly, briefly glancing at the bartender.I raised an eyebrow at him."Why are we talking? There's no need for a talk, Rustov."One more than a pulse I got up
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Our friendship was healthy, I thought. In the days that followed we went back to normal. Sometimes, we study in the library together and he shares his knowledge about the topics I find hard. Every Saturday I visit them and we go to the Dales.I didn't deal too much on my negative thoughts. I’m happy when he’s with me and that’s what matters."You did it wrong, Audrey," he said. It's one of those days that he checks to see if I did the assignment right.I sniffed and looked at the sea ahead. For some reason, Dales became our favorite place. Maybe because it's peaceful here."It's hard. I got confused ..." I said."I'll do it. Just study it later," he said."Okay!" I smiled at him.I watched him do that, very seriously. I can't help but admire how he can be so passionate about studies. Until the end, I just focused my attention on him. I watched how his eyes drifted to me after. My heart was pounding. But still, I mana
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"What did the woman say to you?" I immediately asked Rustov when he returned to the table with our food.Pure grilled and dish there, with pork and chicken barbeque. He landed some mango juice for me and water as well. I watched him as he put all the necessary things in our table. When he finished, he placed the tray in the adjacent container."It's just nothing," he replied."She's pretty. Do you know her?"He turned to me, his gaze weighing. His lips protruded a bit as he shook his head."Did she want you to join them? Or maybe she asked for a number?"He smirked."She asked for my number," he admits.I fell silent and the taste was bitter. But I think that's normal. He's attractive, it's only natural that there are women who spontaneously approach him, including those hot and mature girls."Then? You gave it to her?""Did you see me scribble my number?" His brow shot up.I fell silent. If in matter. But
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The thought of the kiss is stirring my mind, giving me a hard time to think straight. In grief and anger, I stepped fast, almost running. I walked away from the tents, walking straight away from the quadrangle until I reached the row of kiosk benches. Quiet and no one there.It was unreasonable to get mad, right! But I still couldn't help but get angry. He didn't want the kiss, I consoled myself. He wasn't even expecting it on the first place. But my irrationality is prevailing because of too much anger for everything that happened.And that bitch! The courage to kiss her even if she's not her boyfriend!But he isn't your boyfriend too, Audrey. So why are you angry?I closed my eyes and cursed. What now? I'm not straying too far from the boundaries like what that girl did! The thickness of the kiss looks like he doesn't want to!"Audrey!"I panicked when I heard his voice. I didn't have to look back to make sure he was following me. I quickl
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Lots of people in the quadrangle we went down, high school students mostly. Though, there are also colleges. Some were even watching us from the corridors of the buildings. Someone yelled my name like a signal and they created a pathway for me. In the middle I saw Daryl, a grade twelve who was also famous at school.I didn't feel anxious or anything. It just didn’t happen once. For some reason, the boys from the high society here tend to love surprises like this. Also because maybe most women like such gimmicks. But I just don't feel anything for this kind of stunts. So to finish it, I walked over to Daryl.He was holding a huge bouquet of flower with his friends at his back holding balloons and raising a banner with "Will you be my date?" written on it.Everyone around shouted. I love surprises. But I appreaciate it better if it's not in the eyes of public. It used to be like this to me, they just want to show off. And when the answer is right, they'll fe
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Staring at him deeply, little by little, I slowly began to understand everything. I rejected him not because I don't like him on that level. I was afraid. I was so afraid to break my own principles. I was afraid that I might end up being enslaved by my emotions. I was afraid I'd end up getting consumed by that feeling. I put him on the pedestal because that’s what I think is right. I let my mind control everything that I ended up lying to myself.I'm afraid that once I gamble, I won't be able to give up. Because now, I realized I am very, very infatuated with him. And I fear the fate of how I feel. Because this time, I know I can't hold back anymore. I couldn't even hold it when I was still in denial, how much more now that I finally accepted that I do like him?"You chose your clothes?" Rustov asked as he raised his hand behind my back. I shivered when I felt the warmth of his hand against my bare skin."Mommy did ..." I said almost mutely."Are yo
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