AUGUST
The sound of my ringtone was roaring like a thunder that it forced me to wake up from my deep slumber. Opening my eyes felt extremely difficult and even just twitching my eyeballs was making my head pop off. I’m sure this was what they call hangover and now I feel like shit. My eyes had a difficult time on adjusting from the bright morning light that’s rushing from the windows. I tried to let the phone call pass by hoping it would end soon but whoever’s calling must really be that persistent. I moved my muscles around eventually noticing that I was cooped inside Ambrose’s arms. We both fell asleep on the couch and I don’t even know how we ended up spooning each other.
Even though I’m starting to reap the feeling of regret, I had a real blast last night. My head was pulsating in agony and some parts are throbbing but I had to take all of the pain in just to reach for my
AUGUST“How’d you like the painting?” I almost jumped out in complete shock when I heard Ambrose speak from behind.I turned my head to have a better view of him and he was looking rather fresh and comfortable that I’m starting to get jealous. I feel utterly disgusted by the stickiness and the smell of my body while Ambrose just got out of the shower and he’s all feeling refreshed. He’s wearing nothing but a towel on the bottom half of his body while the top was all for my eyes to scrutinize. I never thought I would see this Grecian body once again but here it is all for me to gaze upon at. There were grains of water still forming on his toned muscles, some of them are cascading down making him look even hotter than he already was. The little gay August hiding inside of me was already melting like cheddar cheese as the air around me turned a little bit humid. If I could just
AUGUSTAll good things must come to an end. I remembered someone had said that or wrote that and now, the good thing between Ambrose and me just ended on a very positive note. He just left after taking me home and now I’m left indescribably hangover by him. I’m still having the hangover from last night’s full on blast, I still feel dehydrated and my muscles are aching, but that’s not even relevant because the hangover that I’m having about what happened between me and Ambrose was more powerful.I walked tardily inside our house and my mind was still occupied by the thoughts of the one Ambrose Haylock. I’ve never thought of him being gay, or even liking another guy in the slightest, not even when pigs fly but surprising things in life are meant to surprise you in the most unanticipated moment.After I having a shower, Ambrose and I ended up cooking some ra
AUGUSTDid I just forgot that I still have a girlfriend?The question seemed to drill a massive hole inside my head leading me towards this deep and unnerving sink hole that’s called panic. I’m so much caught up with Ambrose’s intriguing attention that I literally forgot about Rachel’s existence. I still have a girlfriend to check upon and that woman’s crazily obsessed with me. I forgot that I’m still playing the straight dude, for Pete’s sake.I only went to the dining table with my parents for about half an hour, not even close to that, and I already missed this much calls. I stared at the twelve calls that I missed and just by looking at the red text, it appeared like it’s going to swallow me alive. Those twelve missed calls could even mean a ton of things. It could mean that Rachel’s probably upset with me and now I’m starting
AUGUSTI’m not so sure as to why Ambrose had to write a note in a piece of paper when he could’ve easily sent me a text message. It’s the most digital and the easiest way rather than risking things just to drop that note under the bush. I don’t know what’s going on inside that head of his but I guess passing notes in secrecy felt even more romantic than just plainly sending a text message.The day rolled out pretty casual with me still playing the royal role of being Rachel’s picture perfect boyfriend. I don’t even know why I’m still doing this wild theatrical act when I don’t even need the protection anymore. Ambrose doesn’t have this hatred and anger for me anymore. He’s no longer yearning to beat the shit out of me. Perhaps it’s the popularity that I’m still gunning for and Rachel’s not failing at letting the light shining on
AUGUST“Why did you take me to this place just now?” I asked as walked carefully towards the spot where Ambrose had settled down. He was already pulling out the chips that we bought downtown out of the plastic bag.“I don’t know. It’s probably because we weren’t this close before.” He replied almost casually as I sat down right beside him.The breeze was blowing just cool enough that’s it’s almost refreshing. I sniffed the fresh air like I’ve been longing for it and it did not disappoint but rather fulfilled my expectations. I suddenly remembered the lack of fresh air back in Highmont and just by thinking about it makes me feel suffocated.I reached for the bottle of mountain dew and popped it open before eventually pouring some of it down to my throat.“Oh yeah, because we were fighting like we ar
AMBROSEThinking that my life would change and become a little bit better and a little less boring right after confessing my true feelings towards August was too much to imagine. Yes, my life became a little less boring completely because of the fact that we have to hide from the public eye just to spend our time together. But a little bit better was an ambiguous phrase and I’m still waiting for that shit to happen.My daily routine never changed except now, there was the thrill of excitement clinging on to me like a leech. I get up in the morning and go to school, typical high school stuff. But with the addition of wanting to see August everyday made my days a lot more interesting than it was before. I’m sure we are both well aware of the reality that we kept on stealing glances right at each other and it’s making us both conscious of our every move. It is a known fact that I, Ambrose Haylock
AMBROSE“Why are you sitting there at my spot?” Starting to sound annoying, Phil looked me with such tension that I’ve never seen of him in the last few years of our friendship. It was the same tension that had carried on from what happened between us earlier this morning. Phil was sitting at the spot where I used to sit and I want that exact spot because it’s the spot that’s letting me get a clear shot view of August.“My bad.” Phil uttered in absolute defeat. He quickly moved to the opposite part of the table and I can clearly tell he’s trying to keep his cool down to a sensible level.I put down my tray of food and sat down subconsciously moving my sight towards the direction of August’s table. Lunch break was always the hardest for me and it’s been quite few days that I’ve been the one on the outer side of the picture. I looked at Rach
AMBROSEThe graceful pang of disappointment got me chained in its crippling prison for the rest of the night. I had to ride my way home thinking that I’m going to be alone and messed up once again. It was even more asphyxiating to think that August will be having fun with his girlfriend and I’m the one being left and forgotten behind. It’s quite funny that my mind brought that up when I’m always the one left and forgotten behind. I’ve always that one kid who everyone knew but no one cared about. I’ve always been that one person who was always goes home alone because no one wants to do fun things with him. I’ve always been that, and I thought with the arrival of August into my life would tweak things to a better place, I thought wrong. Maybe Phil was right all along. I’ve softened up and for what?The power that I just felt earlier was suddenly watered down in just
AUGUSTI was already growing impatiently excited for Monday to come so I’d have to see Ambrose again and it really came faster than I would’ve even realized. Ambrose and I just shared sweet and thoughtful messages to each other throughout the rest of the weekend and it was giving me everything that I wanted. I can’t stop thinking about him and just everything that happened right between us. I’m pretty much confident that Ambrose can’t stop thinking about me too. He was telling me everything that’s happening inside their house throughout the weekend and I’m not even asking for it. He told me that he had a deep heart to heart conversation with his father about a lot of things and that his dad finally began growing closer to him. I was so happy for him that he’s finally getting what he truly deserves in this timeline and I know he deserves a lot of good things and a classic redemption. I
AUGUST“I didn’t know you brought a friend of yours home?!” The older man wearing this fancy royal blue suit mouthed when I brought myself into the picture basically referring to my sudden appearance. He seemed quite startled to see me emerge from the stairs. Just as the man was startled, I was stunned as well the moment that I heard him speak. The tone of his voice sounded professional and commanding at the very same time and it reminded me of the school’s headmistress.“Oh, yeah.” Ambrose trailed and it was pretty obvious in his tone of voice that he was faltering as he turned his head to look at me. “His name’s August. He’s one of my teammates.” He introduced me and while he said my correct name, I was confused when he said I was one of his teammates.I know he used to play basketball and used to be the captain of the team but this exchange m
AUGUSTThe bright sunlight just pierced right through my eyes when I opened them the next morning. I was facing the window and Ambrose was hugging me from behind and just being the bigger spoon. It took some time for my eyes to adjust from the brightness of daylight but after I got the hang of it, I instantly moved my head and I accidentally hit my head on Ambrose’s chin. The collision was quite hard enough that it woke him up as well.“Hmmmm.” Ambrose groaned from the pain and had to pull one of his hand to adjust from it.“Sorry about that.” I spat out and the words came out pretty hoarsely.“Good morning,” He greeted me with his guttural morning voice as he rubbed both of his eyes to adjust from the brightness of the daylight.“How was your night, Ambrose?” I asked as I stared at his messy just woke up face. He still looked pretty hot
AUGUSTMy heart just melted like a butter dropped on a hot steaming pan. Hearing Ambrose spill some of the truth that has been bottled up inside of him was completely heart wrenching in the most pitiful way. I know that his mother hated him because he already told me that a few weeks ago, but the things that came out after that was really a twist that I wasn’t expecting at all. I’m still trying to let the things that I’ve heard from Ambrose sink inside of my head. It was hard to hear him spit the words out and I didn’t think it was this hard to let it settle down too.I have never met anyone from Ambrose’s family before. I only saw the few members on the painting but that painting was a decade old. Still, I was actually looking forward to seeing them in person. I have yet to meet his famous father who have donated a lot of things at this town. I have yet to meet his mother who hate
AMBROSEDid I hear August enunciate the words right? I asked myself. I’m pretty sure I heard him say the words perfectly clear. I’m not going to hide anything. I was truly astonished by this secret even though it’s really nothing to be astonished about. We are both dudes who likes each other and has kissed more times than I could even remember. How gay could that possibly be?I was dead ass correct when I felt like August was about to drop some sort of a bomb. He really did drop the secret bomb and suddenly this telling of secrets while turned against each other’s back felt beneficial for both of us. I have never realized that he was actually gay until now that he has spilled the truth. All this time I thought he was really this straight guy that willing to explore all of the possibilities of things and I was just the gay one who’s afraid to admit the reality of things.It w
AMBROSEAugust doesn’t seem to be quite impressed by my mediocre dancing skills and to be quite honest with myself, if I was watching that shit go down too, I’d be disappointed. With that being said, I felt alright and I’m pretty much certain that he was entertained. And I’m entertained too. The smile on his face was just something that I’m gunning to see and I made him smile. I’m sure he’s feeling some type of way after just breaking up with his girlfriend a while ago.“What are you doing?” I deliberately asked the moment I noticed he was watching something on his phone. I leaned my head a bit towards him to get a sneak peek of what he was watching and it was just a video of some recognizable people from school at a random house party. “Where is that?” I followed up and casually snaked my arms around his shoulder. I’m becoming more and mor
AMBROSEThe night was pretty much moving slowly but it was everything that I wanted. I checked the clock hanging on the wall and it’s just nine pm. For a normal night, nine pm seemed like the right time to head to bed but for a Friday night, nine pm was agreeably too early.I was a bit shocked that the night’s still very much young. I’m not rushing or anything but then I realized maybe fate was making this moment just for me and August. Maybe fate wanted us to have more time to hang out and be with each other to compensate for the time that we had lost. Part of that was because I chose to ignore August for the entire week and if I had chosen to reply or even answer his calls then things would’ve been different. We haven’t seen each other this whole week and I don’t even want to admit it but I really do miss him in so many levels. I missed his smile that seemed to bring tranqu
AMBROSEI was instantly engulfed with the feeling of guilt and regret. I didn’t mean to shove August like that. I swear to whoever’s watching over us above the clouds. I might be the most violent person in this building but I’m pretty much honest that I didn’t want that to happen. I didn’t even think I put force into that. I completely thought I was just trying to keep him at bay from his attempt at preventing me from drinking the full glass of whiskey. It was never in my intention to hurt him. I had already reached the point where I was about to punch the wall brought about by the anger that I have for myself. And then it turns out that August was just playing with me. He was laughing hysterically that I was just confused at first. He was in pain, writhing like I’ve wrestled him hard on the ground. I saw it in his face that he was really feeling the agony from the supposed impact.
AMBROSEI have never imagined the day that I would hang out like this with August ever again. The last time August was here felt so much like a century ago. At least that’s all because I’m too distracted this past week that thinking about him was totally lost in the equation. I was on the verge of believing that I’ll never survive this hell of a week but here I am pouring whiskey on my glass with August sitting at the far corner of the couch.Things just went fast in a matter of hours that I’m still thinking about what happened back at the river. I had an extremely rough week that I just went to find solace at my favorite spot at the river not knowing that someone’s going to show up uninvited. I had never ever expected that August would show up at the river right at the moment where I didn’t know I needed his presence. I may have acted violent a few hours ago and that’s