I was still reeling from Devin’s visit. Normally, sitting on our front porch swing, looking out over the water, and drinking hot tea trying to relax my nerves, but it was doing nothing to calm my frazzled nerves tonight. I wasn’t even that surprised when the sleek, black Porsche eased into our driveway.When Devon reached the porch, I saw his black eye. His brother had given him a serious shiner. It was already turning purple and looked extremely painful. It made me wince just looking at it. Seeing my reaction, he tried to play it down. “It’s not as bad as it looks.” He paused before adding, “I deserved much worse.”He looked like he felt as guilty as I did, and it made me feel dreadful, knowing that I had caused all of this turmoil. He sat down beside me on the swing, but made no attempt to touch me. Even after all that we had been through, I still felt the electricity sizzle between us. My physical reaction to him was undeniable.We just sat there for a while before he finally broke
I had requested a meeting with my grandma Kris and Kim, I was sitting in the kitchen table, and the two of them were having a rowdy discussion. They were supposed to be helping me sort out my feelings, but it seemed they each had very different opinions about what I should do.They were on their second bottle of our favorite soft red wine, and they were starting to get more vehement in their arguing. I was drinking water because I wanted to keep a clear head as I worked through the mess I had made of my love life."Devin is sweet and kind, and he really cares about her. He’s the better long-term investment.” This came from Kim.“Long-term investment?” Kris nearly screeched. “We aren’t discussing annuities here. We are talking about love. She has passion with Devon.” She reached over to grab my hand. “You have to follow your passion, Sweetie.”“Passion burns out and then what are you left with?” Kim countered. “You need to choose the one that you can have a future with.”“Love isn’t me
I woke up the next morning feeling exhausted and still uncertain about what I should do. I had spent the night tossing and turning, and making up my mind and then changing it.First, I had decided to choose Devin. I had always wanted to have a family, and Devin was the ideal person to have a family with. He would be a wonderful husband and father, and I would be lucky to have him. We would adopt sweet babies, and we would live happily ever after.Relief had swept over me. I had made a decision, and I was going to stick with it. Then, I began to picture going to Booker family events with Devin, and seeing Devon with a constant parade of baddies. I pictured him ramming his fabulous cock into them while their perfect, fake, plastic tits never moved. The thought made me cringe. I wanted that cock to be ramming me.I had sat up in my bed, sweating and feeling nauseous. I couldn’t handle seeing Devon with those women, even in my imagination. When it really happened, I would be desperate fro
I didn’t go far. I discovered a small, lakefront motel that was about a half-hour drive up the coast from Colleen Shores. Marie, the friendly, matronly woman behind the front desk, gave me a rate for the week and an actual metal key for my room’s door. It had been a while since I had seen one of those, and I knew instantly that I had found the right place to stay.My room was small, but clean and functional. I unpacked my travel bag and took a walk along the lakeshore. I found some colorful rocks along the way and placed them in the pocket of my hoodie. The wind off the lake was clean and refreshing. If I couldn’t sort out my feelings in this wonderful spot, then I was a hopeless mess.I spent the week walking the shoreline, eating in the diner two doors down from my motel, and simply relaxing. It was nice not to have anywhere to be at a certain time. Well, almost no place to be.I had settled into the habit of having tea with Marie in the lobby of the motel a few times a day. She was
My week at Marie's motel had gone by quickly. I had spent the time soul-searching, yet I still wasn’t any closer to having a decision about which Booker twin was right for me. Before leaving, I promised to call Marie soon to let her know what I decided. I didn’t mention it, but I would also want to know what she found out about Daniel. I secretly hoped that this would be the right time for Marie and Daniel to be together.We gave each other a hug, and I headed home to face the music. I wouldn’t be able to avoid Devin and Devon forever, or one of them would likely give up on me, like Daniel had on Marie or worse yet, both of them could give up. This indecisiveness wasn’t fair to any of us, so I needed to just make a decision and stick with it.I fretted all the way home, making up my mind and changing it numerous times. This is ridiculous. I finally told myself. I don’t deserve either of them, so I should just let them both go.I didn’t know if I had the strength to do that, but I knew
I was surprised to see Devin’s Jeep pull in as I sat on the front porch swing. I had been preparing to see Devon first. Devin carried a large bouquet of happy-looking daisies and colorful wildflowers, which he handed to me when he reached the porch.“Thank you. I’ll go put them in water.” I used the excuse to have a minute to go in the kitchen and gather my thoughts. I found a classic Ball jar to put the arrangement in and set them in the center of our table. Then, I took a few deep, calming breaths before walking out to join Devin on the porch swing.We sat side-by-side quietly for a few moments. Devin broke the silence by saying, “You’ve chosen Devon.” He didn’t pose it as a question. It was more of a resigned statement.“No,” I answered him. “I’m not going to be with either of you. It’s too awkward. I’ve messed things up too much.”“I thought we had something special. I thought we were falling in love.” His words nearly broke my heart because I thought the same thing.As I had know
The shadows of dusk were starting to creep across the kitchen, so I went up to shower. Then I flopped on my bed and cried myself to sleep. I tossed and turned all night and awoke certain that I could have been happy with either one of the dark-haired, green-eyed, sexy-as-hell Booker twins, if the other didn’t exist.They both did exist, though, and they were both amazing. I cared about each of them too much to choose the other one. I had royally screwed up any chance with either of them, so I needed to pick up the pieces of my life and move on without them. We would all be better off without the sick love triangle that I had inadvertently created.I showered again in the morning and drove my Lambo to work. Still feeling uneasy, I walked inside my lavish office and greeted by my personal assistant Stacy, she helped me get my stuff together while i slumped in my soft comfortable office chair.“Be careful, Sweetheart!” Stacy was concerned about me"Whatever you're going through will be o
I went through the next several days in a bit of a haze. I made it to work on time, but I wasn’t fully engaged. I just wanted to curl up in bed and sleep for a week.When I saw Kim and grandma Kris walk into my office, I knew they were staging some sort of intervention. I didn’t want either of them to worry, and I was touched that they both cared so much, but I wasn’t ready to be my usual, perky self. I tried to come up with some words to let them know that I would be okay, but I just needed some time to heal.“You know we love you.” It was Kim who spoke. “But you have to snap out of this funk.” She moved to put her arms around both of us and we stood in a three-way hug.“Maybe the four of us should have a fun night together. We could rent a movie, order pizza, and drink martinis at my place.” Stacy said as she joined us, She turned to Kim and asked, “Do you think Biggie would give you the evening off?”"I've told you countless times to come work for me, so you can take days off anyti