The male on the other side of my hip begins to fret not liking that I am standing still so I rock them both swaying my body to the music of the wind. They calm placing their heads into my neck whilst sucking on their thumbs.
"You are quite good with pups, Lumina." Cronus whispers at my side eyeing up my position.
"I love them. I think they bring joy, laughter and light to a pack. Without these little monsters running around it would be awfully quiet and boring." I reply with a smile to meet his eyes.
"Is this what you envisioned with Deimos? To have a big family." He asks.
"Yes. With every breath I took, as soon as my eyes laid upon his flesh from the very first time."
"It can still
"I-I didn't mean for this to happen. I am angry, I am hurt. My soul is bleeding. Tell me what I should do? Tell me what I can do?" I plead with him, tears streaming down my cheeks as I bite my lower trembling lip to hold my sobs that wish to break free.He nudges his face into the side of my neck and lays there calmly whilst I pour my uncontrollable emotions to him. "I cannot live without him and I cannot live with him. I am bound, this bond is unmerciful towards me. He knew this...he knew this and he...he-" A loud sob breaks free from the cage and I wail.His presence brings me comfort. His presence brings me warmth, and I feel as though my emotions are sucked up by him setting me free leaving me with nothing but inner peace. His fangs sink into my wrist as a sign of reclaim. As a sign of whom I belong to. I've always wanted to feel th
"Why must you leave?" I sigh folding Kal's freshly washed and dried clothes. My eyes peeking into the basket inspecting if I had left any. I am aware of the answer to my question yet I still ask it for satisfaction so my mind can get around it and let him go."Because of my responsibilities. I am an Alpha, Lumina." Cronus replies whilst chuckling not to my words but Kal's cute antics. The two males are bonding upon my bed. Kal lies on his stomach in the same position I placed him a few minutes ago, hands flailing his lower body moving with a playful bounce.Cronus has his finger tucked into Kal's left palm as he gazes down at him with a soft smile. "He is growing up fast.""Too fast for me. He shall become a four-month-old soon." I reply whilst grabbing the laundry basket and taking it
"He lost his parents before he could learn about you. Of your sacred bond and whilst years passed he had gotten the gist of it yet he wasn't much interested in knowing further for his dedication had changed to his pack. They were the only wolves he had. My parents didn't teach him anything either and I truly do not know why. They are at fault for this as well." He mutters beneath his breath."I did not have a family either. Rather I hated them with a burning passion." I spit as a vile taste in my mouth grows for thoughts of them are uncovered."Losing wolves you loved strikes harder than losing wolves you hated with every breath you took. Every memory you have with them shall be eaten raw by the claws of death. Would you be able to survive if you were to lose one of your females, or Elriam or even Kal?" Cronus asks. His question plungin
Taking slow steps back inside, the gate is shut close and locked behind me. The crowd offers me their smiles of farewell and quickly begin to disperse back to the comfort of their homes. I take a slow deep shaky breath, cloudiness erupting in the base of my chest for somehow it feels lonely.I had never for a second felt lonely in this pack for I had my females, I had Elriam and I had...Deimos. I still have my females, I still have Elriam but he is missing. How did he manage to surpass all others?I had always been fine on my own but then he paved his way like a sudden storm that bounds you to the power and beauty of its thunder and lightning. It gets harder with each day my fight dissolving yet my deliverance of his sin, I find it to be the hardest of all.Something in my heart stirs
It has been almost four months since he and I have been together alone in one room. I do not want him to take this as a sign of my forgiveness or a move forward in our journey. I think it is better to leav-"Do not think too much of this. I am merely inviting you in for I think it is almost time to feed our male. I do not think he will wait for the ride back home. You may also eat what I have made if you wish to for I unknowingly made more than I eat." He says shattering my inner struggle whilst pouring the dish into two bowls easing the battling tension of my thoughts.I look at the clock hanging on the wall on the opposite side of the room. There is time. There is enough time for me to take Kal home now with me and feed him. I can do that. But I...I won't do it for I do not wish to shorten the time he has with his male.
I awaken with a loud gasp my body lunging forward, I am quickly seated fingertips thrust into the mattress tightly clutching the softness. Eyes snap to the small clock by my bedside table and my eyes widen.Flinging the mattress away placing my cold feet into the fur slippers, the same ones that Deimos purchased for me when I was pregnant. I couldn't bring myself to throw them away just like all the other things he bought me saying the same words each time. 'It reminded me of you, my female.' Perhaps he planned it all, for what hurts me the most is not the betrayal at present but the happiness of the past. The happiness that taunts me every night in my dreams.I am attached to his presents for each of them gifted from him holds a memory, memories no matter our downfalls I truly cherish. I use them all but hidden from his sight. Like the
"Did you inform their Alpha? Do you not lead them?" I ask, my frown deepening to his words."No, I do not lead them. They do not come under my wing. One of the 'independent' packs. I do not know of their Alpha. I have never met him." He says."But why war?""Because that is the only option available. It was my proposal. Their thought that they can barge in here and murder my wolves must be burned. Our pack is in mourning and shall be for a few weeks." He declares.I swiftly look to my feet. I...I did not notice it at all. Have I been so indulged with my mate bond that I have grown blind to the misery of our pack? If so, then what kind of a Luna am I? If I have not mourned with them, if I have not shared their pain do I even have the r
"Of course. What kind of an Alpha does not fight for his pack?" He asks pacing around the room comforting the little one in his arms who seeks his attention."What kind of a pack does not fight for their Alpha and bounds him to disgusting traditions?" I am quick to counter his reply. An attack that flew past my lips without neither hesitation nor though. An attack thrown at him by me that was unnecessary. His steps halt, back turned to me. I see a slight bend of his spine shoulders drawn in head low."That was uncalled for. I apologize.""Your words hold your truth, mate. And my pack holds theirs. But my truth, I do not hold it. It is not in my hands. My father did not hold his either. I want Kal to wake up in a world that he sees as his canvas. He can paint it as he pleases and the co
It was not an effortless decision for it would come with a price. And that price delayed my path of action. I knew the pack would go against me and I knew I would have to execute numerous of my warriors and that fact chained me once more.It felt as though I was spitting on father's grave, I was destroying everything he trained me growing up. I wondered if he saw me as shameful, I wondered if he deemed me as his male no more for if he were alive my father would have reprimanded my choices.That permanent state of hell I was in, that confusion I abhorred it. I was stuck I could not move, annihilating your wolves as an Alpha meant the moon would sentence me for it, she would have to take something from me and I sweated it would be Lumina or Kal.But observing my female living in discomfort each day because of my discretions, I could not follow it anymore. I could not withstand it so I stood on that stage and I declared the end of the tradition hoping it would pave
Whilst the females moved an unconscious Lumina to the other room, Elriam was generous to place the pup in my trembling awaiting hands. It was a male, yet there was no happiness from my side mere neutralness for I had lost someone dear to me. It was a day of birth and death, birth of my male the death of me.The reason I had feared to love her had come to stand haughtily in my reality, Lumina wanted to leave me. She spewed heartless words to my face of how I disgusted her, of how she rebuked our bond that we were no more as one.She said she could live without me with such ease as I tensed my jaw and took her strikes for I earned it. I deserved each blow of her whip as it peeled the skin off my bones.Then she changed. She became a female I could not recognize, our relationship had blazed to ashes there was nothing left between us. She left a trail behind with torn pieces of herself that I often secretly bent to pick up and lay in my treasure box.
But that was no choice to me, it seemed as though I was once more standing on that bridge. Life or death. I wanted to choose death, I would have rather fallen than betray either of them.The tradition of the chosen did not seem to hinder me even after I met Lumina for I had thought I would never fall in love with her. Yet I did I was in love with her unconditionally, she stood first in line among my every other duty. She was my priority in many ways.How could I touch another female other than Lumina? The image of it had me gag as it left a foul taste on my tongue. I was not that kind of a male, I promised to be loyal to her until the moon called for me.I was lost for I did not know much of the laws of the tradition so I requested Ragon to aid me to attain loopholes or ways I can tiptoe around it without harming any wolf. It was a tradition that had run smoothly in our pack for generations with no Alpha ever going against it and I did not want to be th
I could not think, I could not feel. A sudden sense of coldness lured me into its cave. I knew if I stayed I would hurt her with the vengeance of my words so I chose to abandon her in that aloof house until the turmoil of my heart and mind rested.Yet when I had returned I was greeted with something I did not wait for, she leapt into my arms caressing flesh pecking me all over my face showing her profound affection for me as she begged for me to forgive her. And I could not fight her, how could I have when she glanced at me that way?So I asked her to do something for me that I found arduous to do. To bare her soul to me and she had accepted with no reluctance. She taught me that I must soar above my walls and unveil myself to her eyes as well and I guaranteed her that I would with time.After a while, Lumina got sick fatally sick and I fretted the pill had done something to her. I often conversed with Giovanni's healer every night after I put my female to sleep
The goddess took her time with me as she kept me caged up for a while and on her chosen day she surprisingly tossed me back to my physical being as though she found no use to bother with me anymore.I do not remember distinctly the events that unfolded after I had awoken, it was all a haze of sounds, scents and movements. But what I do recall was the way the eyes of my female lightened as she examined me. She looked as though I had breathed life back into her and I was perplexed. I was the one who had been in a coma yet why did my moon blessed resemble a corpse as well?Was she not eating, was she not sleeping? Judgment took its time to settle within me. Lumina was not living, she was merely existing and that too not for her sake but mine hoping that I would wake up and embrace her one day. With everything Ragon had revealed to me of her lifeless days, my heart burned with tribulation.My fault, I was once more to blame for giving her that experience. Testifying
She wanted to hasten everything and we stood on thin ice once more, snapping our teeth at each other with a wave of outrage. She was always expecting me to understand her but she never once returned that from her side. What about what I wanted? I was not ready to be a father for I was only learning how to be a moral mate to her.But the way she looked at me it was as though it had been what she had yearned for all her life. To have a family of her own, who was I to deny that? Was it not my duty to her, to give her that life?I did not think I would be a good father, I did not want to raise my pup as my father bred me. I was worried I would end being the same as him. I wanted time before I could speak with her on the topic of having pups but she thought I was unconditionally against the idea.It was not true, I too wanted to see my female's belly swollen with my pup snoring within. I too did not have a family growing up and I despairingly needed laughter and joy
I knew the moon would condemn me for the way I treated her gift. I did not know whom to blame, Lumina or myself? Did I need to be more patient with her? Did I need to be more understanding?That day as I showered with a dejected heart, I had given up a little on us. I felt we were lying in a hopeless pit we were both equal predators always at war with the other. I did not consider we could ever be happy with each other and I was prepared to move to the other wing of the castle and isolate myself from Lumina for a while.I thought it would be for the best, I would not be able to hurt her and she would not be able to wound me either. I wanted to end our sprouting relationship for her sake mostly, she would be happier without me. Without the cruelness of our bond, we could have lived in the pack together but we would have not been in a loving relationship.As I departed the bathroom's heat, she sat on that bed whilst she waited patiently for me. I was astounded for
I entered Cronus's lands with a calmness which I owned a lot of yet with her fit of aggression towards me she stripped it all apart, she tested me with every breath she took. Master of control? No, when it came to her I was a master of nothing.Then I assumed her truth, she did not wish to return for she was in love with Cronus. It had to be the only reason, my canines ached to mark her then and there and drag her outside by her neck exhibiting to every wolf she was mine. I wanted to do it the hard away be the pitiless vicious beast I was.Then Lumina wailed and my being shook, her tears I was powerless to behold anymore. I did not wish to hurt her further than I already had. When she stuttered the truth of her feelings to me of how it had always been me and shall remain so forevermore I strived to hide my surging smile. She chose me and that was all that mattered.And for the first time in a very long time, I sincerely apologized and freed my soul a li
The second my lips brushed softly against hers, I knew it. She would be the death of me and what astonished me was I deemed I would willingly die for her if that was what she wanted. She drove me wild and frantic streaming behind her like a panting male in a rut.Yet that very same night as Cronus pressed her against that wall and vocalised of the feelings he possessed for my female the beast in me mounted, he destroyed the barriers and clawed his way up to make his claim and I failed to stop him.I detested the vile sight of Cronu's fingers on her flesh, the closeness of their lips. She was mine and mine alone, every part of her belonged to me. If she had run away from my heat I would have hunted her, arrested her and barred her in my room for weeks fucking her with a savagery until she squealed the truth of whom her male was.But from that event stemmed insecurity, I grew to become anxious that she would leave me. My confidence in myself diminished with each r