FINANCIAL GAP

"Sister where are we going to this night? " asked Tami. "I think its a party" replied Osifa. Meanwhile, I had dressed them in thier best outfits which they used for Christmas recently.   We reached Greenland brothel around 8:30pm. My father will be waiting for us at the Greenland front   gate at exactly 8:30pm. He wrote that in the note he left.   It was obvious I had mixed feelings. My body was slightly trembling and my voice shook when I began addressing my younger ones. "There's  something I will be collecting from one man. " I began. I held my ear while speaking to prove I was passing a warning to them. "Under no circumstance must Mother find out that we came here tonight. Do you understand. " "Yes sister " they chorused. "I will get you guys buns and chocolate on the way. " They smiled and I knew our little secret was safe. "But sister, " began Osifa, look at our bar over there. " she said while pointing towards it's  direction. "What if Mother sees us. Remember, we are not allowed to come near this place. " "Don't worry she won't see us. " I said trying to maintain confidence. My mother will let my siblings roam round the entire streets of London with the exception of Greenland brothel. She warned them severally never to go there. My younger siblings are good with secrets. There were times I sneaked out of home for a party on the street leaving them alone at night  with buns and chocolate then  returned before 10pm so our mother doesn't find out. There were also a time  I bought Footwears for them and asked them to lie about it. They told my mom they got it from donors who seldom visit our neighborhood. As long as I give them buns and chocolate, our little secret tonight shall not be leaked. 

Shortly later, A man was aproaching where we stood and I recognized him as our father. He came closer and looked ah the four of us in amazement. There we're sparkles in his eyes and I could feel the pain and regret in it.  He wanted to speak and I dragged him to the corner and said "Remember what you wrote in the note. You promised to only see them and not speak. I don't want them to know anything please. " I  warned. "I Understand my child. I don't know how to thank you. " he said almost in tears. I turned away and stretched out my right palm towards him. He placed two thousand naira in it then went to look at my younger siblings again. He lifted Tami up, hugged him and almost spoke then I broke thier embrace and dragged my siblings home. On our way home, I bought buns and chocolate for them and told them to eat hurriedly before our mother arrives. They took out thier clothes and went to bed. "Sister who was that man we went to see "?  asked Osifa. "I looked at her sternly and she was mute. Its our secret. One out of our secrets. 

As I laid on the mat next to Kiki and I Osifa, I couldn't help but think about how the day went and what I did. We came home 15 minutes to 9pm and my siblings ate thier buns and chocolate then slept before 10pm. They are fond of sleeping early. It was 12 minutes past 10pm and our mother hasn't returned yet. Sometimes she comes home past 11pm. In the note my father left, he pleaded with me to take my siblings to the gate of Greenland. He couldn't come because my Mother would send him to jail if he dares. He also promised to tip us when we get there. I wouldn't have gone to the brothel tonight but I had too. We barely have foodstuffs. It was obvious my siblings will go to school on empty stomachs the next day and my menstrual cycle was around the corner. The need to feed and get a sanitary pad seduced me to take a risky step tonight. I had no choice. It was obvious our abject scarcity was overcoming my ego. 

The alarm from my mothers old Nokia phone ringed continuously signalling a new day. I got up and turned it off. It was 5:30 am. A brand new day. I slept off and didn't know the time my mother closed from the bar the previous night. When I wake up every morning, I say a brief prayer then dash out to the kitchen to make breakfast. After that, I bath Tami while Kiki and Osifa clean themselves. I supervise them and ensure they wear thier uniforms properly before leaving for school. Osifa washes the dishes while Kiki cleans the room. They all finish thier chores before 7pm. We take turns with our other neighbors in cleaning the bathroom, toilet and kitchen. I cooked the little beans left and while they were ready, I bid them farewell. My mother woke up the moment my siblings were bidding me farewell. 

"Good morning Ma." I greeted her.  "What did those children eat before leaving. "?  She asked. "I boiled the remaining beans. "Without oil or spices? " she asked. "There's small oil left and some spices too. " I quickly replied. "Really?  I thought we ran out of everything. " she said while entering the room. Of course we ran out of foodstuffs. While returning from Greenland brothel yesterday after seeing our father, I bought buns and chocolate for my siblings as well as half a bottle of palm oil, some spices, a sanitary pad and one pasta from the Two thousand naira he gave us. But how will I explain this to my mother?. I lied that we had little spices and oil left. 

I took the remaining beans I cooked to my mother in a plate. "Have you eaten"?  She inquired. "Yes ma. " I quickly replied. My mom ate while I sat outside patiently waiting for her to call me to come and get the plates. There was a loud scream in Mama Funke's room. My Mother and I rushed to her room and saw her wailing and screaming "She's dead. My daughter is dead. I am finished. " Meanwhile Lois her youngest daughter was lying lifeless on the bed. Our mechanic neighbor quickly lifted her and rushed to the only clinic in London. "She's gone already. " said my mother. "I don't understand. " I proclaimed. My mother shook her head and went in while Mama Funke ran to the clinic like an insane woman. 

 "We are sorry for your loss.....  Take heart.... It is well... God knows best... I hope she finds rest. " such were the comments coming from Mama Funke's room. I sat outside with my siblings as we witness people coming and going out of our compound looking sorrowful. Lois was dead. She died before she was taken to the clinic. She was already gone just as my mother announced. We learned that she died due to complications from an abortion. She was nineteen. We weren't friends. We exchanged few pleasantries and she barely stayed at home. I had this feeling that she was arrogant so we never relateqd well  and now she's gone. Gone forever. "Let's go inside" I said to my siblings as tears drop from my eyes. 

It was obvious my siblings were hungry. I was hungry too. They  came back from school past 1pm amidst the condolence visits and sorrowful state of the compound. My mother had left for the bar. She told me to stay home and not come around for the usual shift. Meanwhile she hasn't said anything regarding our food scarcity. It was unlike her because no matter how low the weekly income from the bar was, we barely lacked food. I was bothered. I cooked the pasta I bought from the money I collected from my father and we ate. I stopped my siblings from going out to play. I felt the atmosphere at home needed to be calm since we lost a neighbor. We were watching a cartoon from Sky Line channel via our small television by the corner of the room when Badmus came running in. "Osifa. Come to your bar right away. Your mother just fainted. " I ran after Badmus with all my strength. I cried as I ran. I could hear my siblings crying too.