CHAPTER FOUR: ELICIA

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Journal entry 101

You showed up again today.

The usual routine you climb up the stairs of the same unfinished building that is right across our house and you sit on the edge of the building.

I get to see you every day for an hour and a half before you take off in your black Jeep.

Most times you just sit and stare into space, thinking I guess.

Sometimes you come to dress your wounds, and l wonder what causes them.

They are not just minor wounds, they look deep and you wince every time you dress them.

Who causes them, do you get into fights?

Are you one of those boys that parents tell their daughters to stay away from?

This time it's not an arm wound, a head wound rather it's an abdominal wound. It looks deep and painful.

You close your eyes in pain as you let the alcohol sink in to wash off the cut, avoiding infections as well.

How come you are so good at dressing yourself, l know YouTube can teach one everything but the way you do it looks like someone who knows it very well.

Do you have anyone in your family who is a doctor?

Today you left as soon as you dressed your wound, with half an hour to spare.

Why are you in a rush today?

The question remains,

Who are you, Rooftop?

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"l did not want to say anything but you keep writing about him why is that?" Lydia asks.

"l thought you wanted me to make journal entries, isn't it why you bought me this Journal?" l say and she smiles.

"l know you are smart Elicia, but you know what l mean. Talk to me," she says and adjusts her seat to look at me directly.

"l have no idea l just do." l say starting to be more honest and open.

If she is supposed to be helping me l should be willing to be helped and she nods waiting for me to say something else.

"I honestly have no idea. l look forward to seeing him every day." I add unsure of myself.

"l like that you are realizing your emotions and that you don't want to deal with them that shows that you are slowly coming to terms with reality. Although channelling your emotions into him or anyone for that matter is not ideal at least it's a start, so why haven't you talked to him." She asks with a soft voice.

l, swear she freaks me out sometimes. How does she manage to stay cool all the time with a job like hers?

"l am afraid if l do, he will leave and l want him to stay. l haven't known his name yet or why he is like that, l want to know." l say and she nods her head.

"And why do you think he will leave?"

"Because every man in my life left. My dad, best friend and my boyfriend, they all left," l say and she smiles, that stupid smile she gives when l say something with emotions in it.

"See that, Elicia is what l want you to write about. l will admit he is a good influence on you. Rooftop." she says and adjusts her skirt.

"Instead of me writing about it why don't we talk about it."

"Progress," she shouts and we both smile.

For the next hour and a half we spend it talking about my feelings, how everything is making me feel, and how I am planning on dealing with it instead of repainting the walls without scrubbing off the previous paint.

I had admitted that I was hurt but ever heard of the saying when it rains it pours? It sure did pour because it was as if I had lost everything. At least whatever it is that allowed these horrible things to happen in my life left Mom behind for me.

I then decided to take a gap year and deal with my troubles before university.