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FIFTY
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2024-10-29 19:42:56Doctor Benedict took a quick checkup on him and was able to tell us that Leo was completely fine and just needed some rest. He will, of course, stay till he has woken up, but in the mean time, he was absolutely fine.
“It is my fault,” I declared as I began crying.
“It is not your fault, dear; we were all pushing him too hard." Michael calmed down, but it didn’t help because I cried even more, leaving myself to sit on the couch.
I could only of course blame myself; I was the one who called his hobby thrash and should focus more on studying than drawing random characters on his notepad. It is my fault he is this way, and I can only continue to feel bad until he is alright.
I am such a bad mother.
How can I be angry at my mother for treating me badly when I am just as the same? Leo must have been suffering, and I didn’t just see it; he shouldn’t have to push himself extr
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Cravings FIFTY ONE
While I stood admiring this young man, his sudden look up to glance at me had made me flinch as I managed to maintain composure. Seth smiled before lowering back to focus on lighting the cigarette."Where you checking me out?” Seth asked as he took a step back; his smile widened even more as he relaxed on the wall.“Why would you think that?” I questioned him as I stood next to him, blowing out the first smoke. "So, when did you start smoking?” I asked about changing the topic.Seth shrugged as if he didn’t want to answer at first. My blank reaction was enough to make him give in. “Two years ago, I tried it three years ago but didn’t like it at first until a year later. Unlike how you would picture me, I only smoke when I am pressured about something."“So you are pressured over something now? Like what?" I asked, showing a bit of concern as I faced him.“Not anymore, now that I have seen you are all right,” Seth answered. His answer didn’t sit right with me because why do I have to be
Cravings FIFTY TWO
The island looked so beautiful, the view alone from our villa is breathtaking, and the services offered by the wonderful people here when they received us were just as impressive as I imagined.It felt really nice to just be far away from all of reality and just be here alone with my family for bonding time. Oh, for how long I have always wanted to do this without each trip getting cancelled because of one or so different reasons that may pop up.“I see you can’t stop smiling. It is exactly what you wanted; I did well, didn’t I?” Michael stood in both of our rooms and said,.“It is just as I want; I can wait to put my feet on the warm sand,” I answered, smiling. I don’t know what these two weeks will bring, but I was just as ready and prepared for it.“There will be a dinner later tonight; we can start our experience from there. You think maybe you can wear the red dress I bought?”“Of course, I think I packed that in one of my suitcases. Do Seth and Bella know about dinner? I think t
Cravings FIFTY-THREE
It was as if the night was just perfect for Michael and me. The way he held my hand into the small dining room held in one of the shacks meant the dinner was supposed to have a natural feel to it, hence the location. Even the food displayed was quite exotic, and it made my mouth water immediately.I am a food lover, but I can also be very picky with my food at the same time.The sound of the sea whooshing all together, the calming breeze that swoops us together, coupled with a magnificent view—what more could I ask for? It was perfect.Everyone was seated, from Carmela to Leo to Bella and Seth—I should say that they all made an effort to look good today, so I am glad I wasn’t the only one who went overboard.I tried not to look in Seth’s direction, as I was now in my ignoring phase as well. Of course, this ignoring phase wasn’t because I thought he somehow felt something for me. I fee
Cravings FIFTY - FOUR
~SETH POV~Scarlett drives me insane.Her scent alone makes me weak to the knees; I can’t help it. Each time I sense she is around, I can’t help myself by wanting to be next to her.How do I describe when it all started—my obsession for her?I don’t even know myself; no matter how I try to trace it back, I am met with a dead end and an agreement that she snuck her way in.There is just something about Scarlett, even now that I look at how being happy over a silly bouquet of flowers that I am sure wasn’t to her taste; she didn’t look like she wanted it and was just playing along. Scarlett might like a sunflower or a lily, but definitely not a rose.Deep SighScarlett is married. I keep telling myself, but what must I do? Here, I am also digging a pit for myself by being engaged to my best friend.I do love Bella more than anyon
Cravings FIFTY- FIVE
“That was one long rest room break,” Scarlett said as she came up to me.“Have you been waiting for me?” I felt a surge of happiness seeing her.“What do you think?” Scarlett asked as I was too stunned to speak; she had been daring, and I loved to see it. “I want to pretend like you haven’t been behaving like I didn’t exist till today. I saw you, Seth, and this is something I can’t look away from."I still had nothing to say, as I wasn’t sure Scarlett standing here was real. I wanted to tease her, see her reaction, and then kiss her.“Scarlett!” Michael called out from inside the dining room, interrupting our moment.“I guess I have to go; we will talk later,” Scarlett promised. As she tried to move away, I caught her arm. "Seth, what are you doing? My husband is calling me."“He can wait,”
Cravings FIFTY SIX
~SCARLETT POV~“I didn’t go skinny dipping with Bella last night,” Seth came up to tell me while I was putting in most of our stuff in the car we hired. We were driving inside to visit the people living on the island and possibly to try out their food over there; this has already been discussed before now, and they do sound willing to welcome us.I raised my head at Seth, who was leaning on the car. It was such an odd thing to say because I never expected that he would in the first place. “And that is supposed to help me in what sense?” I asked bluntly before slamming the trunk of the car.“I thought you would want to know... Scarlett, stop walking away from me." Seth grabbed my arm to stop me from leaving.“I have things to do other than stand here and listen to you. Also, Michael is over there; he might suspect something is going on,” I said. “Please take your hands off." I spoke calmly, and Seth heeded my request.“sorry,”“It is not a problem." I tried to walk away again, and Seth
Cravings FIFTY SEVEN
“You should leave while you are at the door,” I say to him as my face softens. I was disappointed, but I also didn’t want it to ruin my entire day.Seth knocked on the door twice before coming back to me. “I don’t want to leave; if I do, I will end up... you know."“Then why did you switch up like that just when I told you I have sex with my husband? He is my husband; even recently, I haven’t allowed him to get close with me." I tried to explain, sounding tired. “I have done that, and it is because of you,” I admitted, not mincing my words.Seth chuckled as if this was funny or that he was seeing me relate to him in this way. “I am glad you cleared that up. I was thinking you slept with him recently. I don’t want you doing that; you are for me, right?”“Seth…” I spoke softly. There is no way he was demanding this for me when he has Bella; this is getting out of hand, and we have hardly done anything together.“I know this is selfish of me; I am sorry and also not sorry." Seth thinned
Cravings FIFTY-EIGHT
My eyes widened, Patricia Levine? Patricia Levine?“Hello, Are you there?” Patricia asks after my prolonged silence."Of course, I just wasn’t expecting your call; I didn’t even know you had my number either,” I said nervously, feeling like the whole world was spinning around me."Oh, pardon me, since Louisa is sort of close to you, I asked her for your number. I do want to speak to you one-on-one, I think what I have to say should be said directly. I was wondering if you will be available to come over to my place this weekend. I will be finally returning to the estate after so many years, so I have a lot of unpacking to do, but I will be free this weekend,” Patricia articulated quite simply for my better understanding.I was surprised, shocked, and bewildered—all you can name out there to show how I felt at the moment.I had so many questions swirling in my brain, like what exactly could be so important that she would have to seek me directly, even going to the extent of asking for m
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Cravings 113
The minute I stepped foot into that place Michael called home for me and my children, it was the moment I lost all contact with Seth and the world. I never go anywhere without security following me around, monitoring my every movement and the things that I do, and making sure that they work according to my given schedule.Michael has gone insane.“Michael I am tired of all these.” I threw off my shoes and flung them out the window, and wherever they landed, I absolutely had no care for them. “I am tired!”“Then leave!” Michael screamed at my face as he slammed our room door, locking it shut. “I know you want his touch; you are doing all of these because you miss him, don’t you?”“For six months I haven’t seen him; I have adhered to every one of your demands and kept away from him; all I want is for you to sign the divorce papers and free me,” I say, moving away from him."Clearly, you don’t know that I won’t know such things, so act right and come down right now!” Michael yelled, and
Cravings 112
“Carmela, hurry up; you are going to be late for school,” I screamed from the kitchen where I was packing up her lunch. When I didn’t hear anything from her, I went to knock on her door. The door pushed open as I held it. “Carmela.”“Mum, come take a look,” Carmela pointed at the two vehicles with security detail waiting in front of Seth’s apartment.“Ignore them,” I said to her before closing off the curtain. “Seth said he will drop you off at school before we head to the hospital to pick up your brother. Leo is finally returning home.”“Yay,” Carmela feigned excitement. “I am sure he is going to gain all of your attention now.” My forehead creased as I looked directly at her. I saw a small smile on her face. “I am kidding, mom. It is so easy to get to you. Make sure you give him all of the love for me.”“I think you should skip school today and come see him.”“And ruin my perfect record? No, I told you I would do better in school than Leo ever was,” Carmela said as she picked up her
Cravings 111
“Why didn’t you tell me that Leo was alive? What was the need for keeping it away from me and from us?” Michael asked. Carmela had stared with the bitterness she had felt looking at her father this morning.“I did it so Brianna would confess,” I answered.“For fuck sake, Scarlett, if she had gotten arrested, she would have confessed either way; she killed our son, I mean almost,” Michael said as he moved back and forth.“And that is almost the reason he is alive today, Michael. I know Brianna was in her head yesterday, but she is not a bad person and still is my friend,” I acknowledged. “Everything she has done was to provide for her family; there is nothing wrong with that.”“By blackmailing you? Honey, have you gone mad? How can you call someone who has done all these things a friend? I pray she rots in jail for the sins she has caused you.” Michael pulled me and hugged me. I sniffed his shirt, and there was an unfamiliar scent—feminine, I would say.I already knew he had sex when h
Cravings 110
A few talks with the officer were all I needed to get a name that I already knew. I couldn’t believe that the person I trusted so much about would have done this to me. I don’t deserve this. I may be a bad person, but I don’t deserve this at all.We drove over to my son’s murderer’s house as I begged for the police to let me speak to her personally; she is my friend after all.“She won’t harm me; Brianna already told me she would be waiting to speak to me,” I said, trying to convince the officer to wait.I knocked on the door of Brianna’s home, and it opened slightly, given that she hadn’t locked the door as she said she wouldn’t.“You came,” Brianna sat in the darkness of her home. I saw different weapons like a gun, a knife, and a couple of pills on the table. She said, “Don’t worry, they aren’t for you.”“I know,” I said. “You won’t harm me, Brianna.”“I hate you.” She said so simply as she whimpered silently, “You are so lucky; you have a good life, family, money , everything. I a
Cravings 109
A heavy downpour of rain washed over Leo’s grave, and while everyone sought shelter from it, I stood there wondering how lonely it would be over there—no one to talk to, no food to eat—at least you wouldn’t have to study any more.My lips thinned as I exhaled deeply.There is no mother to tell you what you can and cannnot, how to live your life, or who you should be with.I kneeled down as I allowed the dirt to stain all over me, losing my mind at the thought that Leo was actually gone, like I would never get to see him again."Leo, I am sorry.” I cried out as all my pain weakened me. A snort came out of my nose as I continued to cry. It will take the intervention of everyone to leave my son’s at this point.I didn’t give him what he wanted and always found a way to make his life about Michael. I used him as a pawn to achieve Michael’s success, and I only started to feel sorry for it when he outgrew me.I never got to amend my relationship with my son; I never got to do that, and now
Cravings 108
Seth was shocked as to where I had gotten such courage from. I mean, I was drunk in his scent and clearly wasn’t thinking properly, but his saying I should go ahead was where I understood he wanted it too."Seth, look at where we are. Do you think God will want to see that from two fornicators?” I asked, and Seth burst out laughing.“Fornicators? So that is who we are now. I have never felt sin be this good before. You think maybe he will forgive us so easily?” Seth asked as he looked around the chapel.“No, God doesn’t work that way, dear; you have to be remorseful and actually pay the price for the sin before he forgives, I think, but though he is merciful, his forgiveness doesn’t come cheap,” I said, smiling. “I also don’t think we should be this close.” I tried to push him further away while pulling him back at the same time.“Since we are fornicators?" Seth laughed, and the room fell into silence as he gazed at me ever so lovingly. “I know this is wrong, but I miss you,” he said
Cravings 107
I visited the hospital frequently as if it were my home; I had to because Leo was yet to wake up and none of us knew exactly how he wound up at shore for that good man who was fishing to find him.Weeks after weeks, and though the doctors said he was responding to treatment and would probably wake up, there was still no sign of that happening, and now I am starting to become worried.For the first week, Leo’s health had been unstable. We received a lot of visitors at the hospital, but as the days pushed into weeks and then a whole month, everyone who we thought cared had soon forgotten and gone back to their own business.I hardly saw any of my friends around either; they were mostly focused on Laura for now, except for Melissa, and that is solely because she is Leo’s godmother; of course she has to be here along with her son.Even Rocky, whom I thought would be here every day, was also occupied, and I understand he has school and his mother to worry about, so maybe he can be excused
Cravings 106
Silence, a void only one could hear and feel for themselves.“Scarlett, Sarlett, Scarlett.” They all called my name from different areas, but their voices never got to me.Could this be true? Could it be?My son is gone, and I am supposed to feel okay about it.I failed as a mother; I failed as his friend; and I failed as his world.When Leo needed me the most, I was never there for him. I don’t deserve happiness at all.My eyes closed as I allowed darkness to seep into me.*** **** ********* ********** ******* ****** ******* ****** ******* My eyes finally opened to see all of my loved ones gathered around my bed, with the beeping sound disturbing my hearing. I looked around, not saying anything. Where would I find the words?“Mum has woken up,” Carmela’s voice said out loud as everyone who was around the doctor soon came to me.“Darling,” Michael touched my face as he kissed my forehead. At first, I wondered why he was getting so affectionate until I saw who came as well.
Cravings 105
~SCARLETT POV~Ambulance sirens blared as lots of body bags were being brought out and taken into the morgue one after the other, my hands shivering. I had already cried in the car. I can't help it now that I have seen Carmela in tears. She would need me to be strong for her, and I can’t help being weak in front of her.“Mum, why do horrible things always happen to us?” Carmela asked as she embraced me, her tears trickling down from her eyes to my shoulder as I stroked her back. “All will be fine, dear; we just have to identify the bodies; we have to hope your brother isn’t a part of it.”I was breaking down so badly; I was so occupied with myself that I never paid attention. God, I only ask for one thing, and that is for my son not to be a part of the dead bodies that drowned at sea.It was hard to pray because it was confirmed that Leo and Rocky were indeed on the guest list for the cruise and that they did attend.“Mrs. Thatcher,” The officer called as I turned, my heart beating ex
