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FIFTY SIX
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Cravings FIFTY SEVEN
“You should leave while you are at the door,” I say to him as my face softens. I was disappointed, but I also didn’t want it to ruin my entire day.Seth knocked on the door twice before coming back to me. “I don’t want to leave; if I do, I will end up... you know."“Then why did you switch up like that just when I told you I have sex with my husband? He is my husband; even recently, I haven’t allowed him to get close with me." I tried to explain, sounding tired. “I have done that, and it is because of you,” I admitted, not mincing my words.Seth chuckled as if this was funny or that he was seeing me relate to him in this way. “I am glad you cleared that up. I was thinking you slept with him recently. I don’t want you doing that; you are for me, right?”“Seth…” I spoke softly. There is no way he was demanding this for me when he has Bella; this is getting out of hand, and we have hardly done anything together.“I know this is selfish of me; I am sorry and also not sorry." Seth thinned
Cravings FIFTY-EIGHT
My eyes widened, Patricia Levine? Patricia Levine?“Hello, Are you there?” Patricia asks after my prolonged silence."Of course, I just wasn’t expecting your call; I didn’t even know you had my number either,” I said nervously, feeling like the whole world was spinning around me."Oh, pardon me, since Louisa is sort of close to you, I asked her for your number. I do want to speak to you one-on-one, I think what I have to say should be said directly. I was wondering if you will be available to come over to my place this weekend. I will be finally returning to the estate after so many years, so I have a lot of unpacking to do, but I will be free this weekend,” Patricia articulated quite simply for my better understanding.I was surprised, shocked, and bewildered—all you can name out there to show how I felt at the moment.I had so many questions swirling in my brain, like what exactly could be so important that she would have to seek me directly, even going to the extent of asking for m
Cravings FIFTY NINE
We cancelled our trip and returned the next day, though we did experience issues with our flight booking, but everything went smoothly in the end. A couple of days later, things with Seth seem to have started off greatly. I don’t know for how long we can keep this up, but sincerely, I was scared.My phone vibrated a couple of times while it rested next to my lamp on the table close to my bed. It was already late in the night, and I needed to get ready to see Patricia today as we already had plans made, so I ignored the vibrating noise as I dismissed it as probably Brianna texting or just random notifications.Well, it seems ignoring didn’t help, as all of a sudden, my phone rang out, and I quickly grabbed it to reduce the volume so as not to wake Michael up.And would you look at that?“Hello,” I said in a hush, lowering my head as if I were hiding from someone.“Were you asleep?” Seth asked almost immediately.“No, I was about to before you called,” I replied.“Did you see my message
Cravings SIXTY
“I didn’t see you on the bed when I went to use the toilet,” Michael said as I felt my heart cut in half. I was completely terrified but still kept calm as I put on my earrings while looking in the mirror. “Where were you?” He asked.I took it as my cue to respond since I didn’t say anything the first time he mentioned it. I didn’t want to come off as defensive towards it, as I clearly do not have anything to hide.“I was thirsty, honey. I needed water and went down to get it. I had myself thinking and laid on the couch for a while." I lied calmly given this wasn’t the actual instance, and of course I had it in mind that he probably would have come around looking for me, so I quickly added, “Funny enough, the couch happened to be quite uncomfortable, so I had to settle for taking a walk instead."“Ohh… Something must have been bothering you then,” Michael said as he came up to stand next to me in the mirror. “If anything is bothering you, know that you can confide in me at every given
Cravings SIXTY ONE
I turned around as Patricia mentioned Seth’s name, utterly confused by this, which set my curiosity to its peak level as Seth didn’t even try to hide the fact that he knew her.“Mrs. Levine,” Seth called her name perfectly.“I should correct you there, just Patricia. I am no longer married,” Patricia revealed, and my jaw dropped. What does she mean by being divorced?“You got divorced?” I questioned as my forehead wrinkled; it didn’t seem like Patricia, who is madly in love with her husband, would.“I am,” Patricia answered, “and it is the best decision I have made since, like, forever." She spoke like a breath of fresh air, “I am divorced, Seth,” as if for more clarity, and Seth nodded. They seem to have gotten a moment, and I wasn’t blind to it. “Shall we go inside?”I ignored it as I wanted to think for myself that it was my mind playing games with me, but still, I was curious to know how they both know each other. It was so uncanny, like an unusual link up; there is just no way yo
Cravings SIXTY TWO
I sat in the car, processing all of my thoughts one after the other. When I noticed everything was washing down on me, I paused, trying to catch my breath because it was a lot.“Scarlett—” Seth called my name but was interrupted by my phone ringing. I was willing to hang on and listen to him, but Seth had quickly gone silent.“Hello,” I said to Brianna, who was on the phone. “How are you?”“I am fine, but that is not important, friend. I have got news,” Brianna said, sounding super excited, as if I knew what it was about. I smiled, my eyes rolling at my chances of being correct that this was clearly about Patricia’s return.“Go on,”“Patricia Levine is back!” Brianna announced it with a squeal, and I said it! “That’s not all; I also heard she got divorced from that leech of a husband she was married to, and well, he tried to divorce her to take a large part of her wealth, but her lawyers had a stronger case, and then she won. This is your chance to reach out to her now that her influe
Cravings SIXTY THREE
Seth is such a man child; instead of him coming to me accepting his wrongs and then maybe I would dance around on it and forgive him easily, he chose to be salty about it, constantly ignoring and pretending that I didn’t exist—well, guess what? Two can play that game.It was childish seeing him use Bella to make me jealous, or that is what I think because this is so obvious, whatever he thinks he is doing.He sees me and suddenly remembers that Bella is by his side.I just don’t want to think he is using her, but to me, it does seem that way.While I was in the living room planning Carmela’s sweet sixteenth birthday bash with the event planner, Seth came around. I would say he has been miserable these past few days and was just waiting for the right opportunity to approach me.I never even noticed that I had this man wrapped around my fingers, and now it is so glaring and funny too.“Mrs. Thatcher, you have a package delivered." Seth brought in a large brown envelope, which was sealed
Cravings SIXTY FOUR
I threw my phone on the bed after reading a sweet apology from Seth, for which I found him lacking in a lot of things. What exactly is he apologizing for? Did he do anything wrong?Nevertheless, it didn’t change anything, even as my heart tingled. Oh, for how long do I deserve this feeling and haven’t gotten it?My head instinctively looked towards the door as a knock was heard. The knock continued to get heavier each time I dismissed it. I knew who it was; I told myself this.I was paranoid, moving about the room while biting the tips of my fingers. He was going to leave, right?“Scarlett, I know you are in there,” I heard Seth say, and my heart beat faster. He is definitely not leaving."Seth, go away; I don’t want my kids to hear you." I spoke in a silent tone. I was sure he heard because he stopped knocking. “Please don’t cause a scene."“Open the door, Scarlett; I just want to talk to you."“We can talk tomorrow; this can wait."“No, no, Scarlett, this can’t wait. You are distanc
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Cravings 113
The minute I stepped foot into that place Michael called home for me and my children, it was the moment I lost all contact with Seth and the world. I never go anywhere without security following me around, monitoring my every movement and the things that I do, and making sure that they work according to my given schedule.Michael has gone insane.“Michael I am tired of all these.” I threw off my shoes and flung them out the window, and wherever they landed, I absolutely had no care for them. “I am tired!”“Then leave!” Michael screamed at my face as he slammed our room door, locking it shut. “I know you want his touch; you are doing all of these because you miss him, don’t you?”“For six months I haven’t seen him; I have adhered to every one of your demands and kept away from him; all I want is for you to sign the divorce papers and free me,” I say, moving away from him."Clearly, you don’t know that I won’t know such things, so act right and come down right now!” Michael yelled, and
Cravings 112
“Carmela, hurry up; you are going to be late for school,” I screamed from the kitchen where I was packing up her lunch. When I didn’t hear anything from her, I went to knock on her door. The door pushed open as I held it. “Carmela.”“Mum, come take a look,” Carmela pointed at the two vehicles with security detail waiting in front of Seth’s apartment.“Ignore them,” I said to her before closing off the curtain. “Seth said he will drop you off at school before we head to the hospital to pick up your brother. Leo is finally returning home.”“Yay,” Carmela feigned excitement. “I am sure he is going to gain all of your attention now.” My forehead creased as I looked directly at her. I saw a small smile on her face. “I am kidding, mom. It is so easy to get to you. Make sure you give him all of the love for me.”“I think you should skip school today and come see him.”“And ruin my perfect record? No, I told you I would do better in school than Leo ever was,” Carmela said as she picked up her
Cravings 111
“Why didn’t you tell me that Leo was alive? What was the need for keeping it away from me and from us?” Michael asked. Carmela had stared with the bitterness she had felt looking at her father this morning.“I did it so Brianna would confess,” I answered.“For fuck sake, Scarlett, if she had gotten arrested, she would have confessed either way; she killed our son, I mean almost,” Michael said as he moved back and forth.“And that is almost the reason he is alive today, Michael. I know Brianna was in her head yesterday, but she is not a bad person and still is my friend,” I acknowledged. “Everything she has done was to provide for her family; there is nothing wrong with that.”“By blackmailing you? Honey, have you gone mad? How can you call someone who has done all these things a friend? I pray she rots in jail for the sins she has caused you.” Michael pulled me and hugged me. I sniffed his shirt, and there was an unfamiliar scent—feminine, I would say.I already knew he had sex when h
Cravings 110
A few talks with the officer were all I needed to get a name that I already knew. I couldn’t believe that the person I trusted so much about would have done this to me. I don’t deserve this. I may be a bad person, but I don’t deserve this at all.We drove over to my son’s murderer’s house as I begged for the police to let me speak to her personally; she is my friend after all.“She won’t harm me; Brianna already told me she would be waiting to speak to me,” I said, trying to convince the officer to wait.I knocked on the door of Brianna’s home, and it opened slightly, given that she hadn’t locked the door as she said she wouldn’t.“You came,” Brianna sat in the darkness of her home. I saw different weapons like a gun, a knife, and a couple of pills on the table. She said, “Don’t worry, they aren’t for you.”“I know,” I said. “You won’t harm me, Brianna.”“I hate you.” She said so simply as she whimpered silently, “You are so lucky; you have a good life, family, money , everything. I a
Cravings 109
A heavy downpour of rain washed over Leo’s grave, and while everyone sought shelter from it, I stood there wondering how lonely it would be over there—no one to talk to, no food to eat—at least you wouldn’t have to study any more.My lips thinned as I exhaled deeply.There is no mother to tell you what you can and cannnot, how to live your life, or who you should be with.I kneeled down as I allowed the dirt to stain all over me, losing my mind at the thought that Leo was actually gone, like I would never get to see him again."Leo, I am sorry.” I cried out as all my pain weakened me. A snort came out of my nose as I continued to cry. It will take the intervention of everyone to leave my son’s at this point.I didn’t give him what he wanted and always found a way to make his life about Michael. I used him as a pawn to achieve Michael’s success, and I only started to feel sorry for it when he outgrew me.I never got to amend my relationship with my son; I never got to do that, and now
Cravings 108
Seth was shocked as to where I had gotten such courage from. I mean, I was drunk in his scent and clearly wasn’t thinking properly, but his saying I should go ahead was where I understood he wanted it too."Seth, look at where we are. Do you think God will want to see that from two fornicators?” I asked, and Seth burst out laughing.“Fornicators? So that is who we are now. I have never felt sin be this good before. You think maybe he will forgive us so easily?” Seth asked as he looked around the chapel.“No, God doesn’t work that way, dear; you have to be remorseful and actually pay the price for the sin before he forgives, I think, but though he is merciful, his forgiveness doesn’t come cheap,” I said, smiling. “I also don’t think we should be this close.” I tried to push him further away while pulling him back at the same time.“Since we are fornicators?" Seth laughed, and the room fell into silence as he gazed at me ever so lovingly. “I know this is wrong, but I miss you,” he said
Cravings 107
I visited the hospital frequently as if it were my home; I had to because Leo was yet to wake up and none of us knew exactly how he wound up at shore for that good man who was fishing to find him.Weeks after weeks, and though the doctors said he was responding to treatment and would probably wake up, there was still no sign of that happening, and now I am starting to become worried.For the first week, Leo’s health had been unstable. We received a lot of visitors at the hospital, but as the days pushed into weeks and then a whole month, everyone who we thought cared had soon forgotten and gone back to their own business.I hardly saw any of my friends around either; they were mostly focused on Laura for now, except for Melissa, and that is solely because she is Leo’s godmother; of course she has to be here along with her son.Even Rocky, whom I thought would be here every day, was also occupied, and I understand he has school and his mother to worry about, so maybe he can be excused
Cravings 106
Silence, a void only one could hear and feel for themselves.“Scarlett, Sarlett, Scarlett.” They all called my name from different areas, but their voices never got to me.Could this be true? Could it be?My son is gone, and I am supposed to feel okay about it.I failed as a mother; I failed as his friend; and I failed as his world.When Leo needed me the most, I was never there for him. I don’t deserve happiness at all.My eyes closed as I allowed darkness to seep into me.*** **** ********* ********** ******* ****** ******* ****** ******* My eyes finally opened to see all of my loved ones gathered around my bed, with the beeping sound disturbing my hearing. I looked around, not saying anything. Where would I find the words?“Mum has woken up,” Carmela’s voice said out loud as everyone who was around the doctor soon came to me.“Darling,” Michael touched my face as he kissed my forehead. At first, I wondered why he was getting so affectionate until I saw who came as well.
Cravings 105
~SCARLETT POV~Ambulance sirens blared as lots of body bags were being brought out and taken into the morgue one after the other, my hands shivering. I had already cried in the car. I can't help it now that I have seen Carmela in tears. She would need me to be strong for her, and I can’t help being weak in front of her.“Mum, why do horrible things always happen to us?” Carmela asked as she embraced me, her tears trickling down from her eyes to my shoulder as I stroked her back. “All will be fine, dear; we just have to identify the bodies; we have to hope your brother isn’t a part of it.”I was breaking down so badly; I was so occupied with myself that I never paid attention. God, I only ask for one thing, and that is for my son not to be a part of the dead bodies that drowned at sea.It was hard to pray because it was confirmed that Leo and Rocky were indeed on the guest list for the cruise and that they did attend.“Mrs. Thatcher,” The officer called as I turned, my heart beating ex
