Austin
Nocturn Number 20. Chopin's haunting melody perfectly portrays my mood when I step into the threshold. The classical number permeates the walls of Cane Estate.
Mother lounges in the parlor with a glass of what I'm assuming is her 10th cocktail for the day. She greets me with a Bourbon Old Fashioned instead of a motherly hug or kiss. It would be too much for Mrs. Cane to show affection. Even to her son. A week is not a long enough distance.
"Austin dear, was that what you wore at the Trade Fair?" she said, picking the olives from her martini. Not even sparing me a glance as she questions my appearance.
"Yes, mother. It was fairly casual."
"Hmm," she replies. Running her hands on a throw pillow. "Meredith is stopping by."
"Yes. You mentioned earlier."
"Would it hurt if you would be more enthusiastic?" She finally graces me with a disparaging look. I knew it would only be a matter of time.
"And would it hurt if you actually listened? As I've said, we've broken up. She cheated on me."
"People make mistakes dear, that's life." Not an ounce of sympathy.
"She cheated on me with my friend, mother. Surely, there are lines that shouldn't be crossed." I said darkly.
"Do not be so melodramatic, you were kids. If you would have been a better partner, she would not have had been so bored. It was your fault as much as hers."
"So it's my fault she jumped on the nearest guy because I was growing my business?" I practically hissed.
"Enough! You will not take that tone with me. I am your mother! You ungrateful bastard! If your father was here..." It's truly a skill how she says these poisonous words without raising her voice. To an outsider, she might as well have asked how my day was.
"I'm going to the gym." I barely restrain myself.
"You will stay here. You will talk to the girl. She's coming here for an investment deal." Her casual tone was layered with venom.
"I will not be humiliated by such a selfish son." She emphasizes. Giving it a different meaning.
I catch on.
I stay.
----
"Austin dear! It's truly been so long." She kisses my cheek. Left. Right. Holding onto my face too close and too long for my comfort.
"Yeah." I mumble.
"Please, let's have a chat. Catch up!" She makes herself at home. With mother flitting around the room, going as far as serving her with her favorite dessert. She doesn't even know mine, how does she know my ex-girlfriend's?
"Samantha didn't mention you'd be here. What a delightful surprise!" she says, inching closer and closer to me.
"Amazing." I deadpan, leaning my body away. She does not comment on my tone nor does she recognize my mood.
I don't expect otherwise. She has always been too self-absorbed and indifferent.
"Lovely!" My mother clasps her hands in a display of delight and approval. I nearly roll my eyes.
"I'll leave you two to catch up. I'm sure you have more important things to discuss. We can talk about the investment some other day, Meredith." she said. Seeing those air cheek kisses will never not vex me.
Not even a few seconds go by and my ex-girlfriend is grabbing my arm, "Baby, it's been months." I visibly cringe and move away. This sofa is not long enough for the distance I need.
"Do not call me that. I've never liked it, and I never will." I'm sure my tone can't be ignored this time.
"Don't be silly, sweetheart. You've always loved it when I say sweet things to you." I really look at her now. Her blonde hair falls in waves. Her elegant dress perfectly hugged her model physique - she was stunning.
If only her personality also matched her appearance.
"Yes, I did." This makes her smile. Leaning more into me.
"I adored you, Meredith. I really did." She's anticipating something now.
"But that quickly went down the drain when I saw you fucking my friend.
In my bed.
In my own apartment."
She visibly cringes at my crass words. She's never seen or heard me curse. To her, I'm a perfect gentleman. To her, I'm someone she can toy with and manipulate.
"It was one time, Austin. It wasn't anything serious. I would have explained myself if you only stayed and listened."
"Stayed?! Did you expect me to just hear your side when I saw him inside you?! You're both lucky that I didn't fucking kill him!" I've never raised my voice in her presence, let alone shouted at her and her shocked face says how new this is to her.
The worst part of it was that I couldn't even go back to that apartment after that night. It disgusted me so much that I just left and sold it the next day.
"Austin, I'm sorry. Please."
"What could you have said? How can you even think that was okay? What the hell, Meredith?" I ask her all the unanswered questions in my head. I know it's in vain because nothing will make what she did to me okay.
"I gave 5 years of my life to you. And you threw it all away because you wanted to get fucked."
"I... It was a mistake, Austin. I didn't mean... I didn't mean to push you away."
"It just happened. Okay?" She tries once more. I am livid at this point.
"What do you mean it JUST happened? You just fell on his dick, is that it?!"
"'He was always there for me when you were away on business trips. He actually paid attention to me. He cared about me."
"Then why didn't you just break up with me when clearly, you love him?!" This stuns her.
"I will not have this outrageous behavior in my house." Mother announces her presence. She must have been nearby and heard everything.
"This is ridiculous. I'm leaving." I said, starting to leave.
"No, you will not. Don't be such a child, Austin. Talk about this as adults." Mother sternly says, as if this is a business deal she just decided to undertake.
I stop at the parlor entrance.
I do not stay.
----
"I told you to help recruit more people! There's no one there now! You're all useless! Stupid!" I bellowed across the open door. New girl cowers at her desk. Bowing her head and fidgeting.
"Close the fucking door and find something useful to do!" The girl is frozen on the spot.
"Now! Move. Damn it." I let my voice carry over to her and she snaps out of it.
I massage my temples, instantly regretting losing my temper.
Boss, I'm requesting overtime. Not enough workforce. I need to stay behind. The foreman informs me. This means I need to pay more. I can afford it, I just don't want to stretch my people thin. I told new girl to help out, it seems she's not that reliable.
Another text message flashes on my phone. We need to talk. Mother keeps on bugging me. Adding to my frustrations. I know if I don't respond quickly enough, she will do something worse. She might show up at the office or at my penthouse. Clearly, boundaries mean nothing to her. She will get what she wants, one way or another.
Austin, baby, please. Meredith hasn't stopped texting me as well. Are those two teaming up just to provide maximum frustration? I'm one step away from changing my phone number.
I only have one option to relieve stress.
Walking out of my office, I catch a glimpse of new girl. I'm well accustomed to making my employees cry, my assistants get the brunt of my temper. It's well known in the company that I rule my kingdom with an iron fist.
I pause out my door. I hesitate upon seeing her tear-stained face. I move along.
New girl's sniffles accompany my steps towards the lift. She tried hard to stop it, especially when she saw me opening the door but I saw her wiping her tears. Those tiny hiccups are somewhat endearing, I will admit.
They do not stir any guilt in my gut. I do not care if a stupid girl cries because of me.
"Have someone deliver these to my assistant's desk after lunch. It's... for an event.."
The catering lady, also known as Ms. Briggs, gives me a rather bored look while accepting the paper bag I filled with chocolates that I bought. I can say with certainty she is one of the few in this whole building who is not scared of me or will ever gossip. She just simply doesn't give a fuck. Serving lunch every day must be soul-crushing.
I go straight up to my penthouse for lunch. To erase from my memory that I've been swayed by a tiny girl crying but the steak isn’t helping my stress levels. I need something more. Feeling guilty is a weakness. Why did I send those chocolates?
I sling back a glass of whiskey. Good thing meetings were canceled this afternoon.
I need to distract myself. I cannot be this pansy over a stupid girl. I won’t let her have any amount of power over my thoughts.
I quickly get in my car. I speed over the heart of Portland and towards the elegant apartments.
I may be a workaholic but I also know the methods I can relieve my stress. When it’s not food, it’s working out. If that doesn’t help, having sex is the next step.
Today, her name is Maddie. One of the girls who belong in what my Mother says is the right circle for me. She’s one of the few I keep around when I’m frustrated. Belonging to the upper echelon affords me her silence. These uppity girls like to stay silent about their indiscretions. God forbid their rich daddies find out they’re fucking the other rich boys and rebuke their funds. These trust fund babies are after all on a tight leash.
Speaking of, despite her Christian school girl act, Maddie likes those too. Today, I don’t have the time and patience for any of that. I know she’s hanging around the apartment her dad paid for. What else is she going to do, work?
I’m proven right when she unlocks the door. She takes a good look at me. I stride towards her liquor cabinet.
“Austin…” She starts with her smooth voice.
“I don’t want to talk about it. Do you have time?” I cut her off.
“Well, yeah. I was just..”
“I don’t care. Come here.” I gesture towards her kitchen island.
She glides forward in that sophisticated manner one acquires from years of breeding from the most exclusive all-girl Christian education. But one thing I’ve learned about these boarding school girls? They are quite freaky. They may seem delicate, soft, and pretentious but if you peel all the daddy issues, you’ll find some repressed shit just waiting to come out.
I have no qualms in indulging in her issues.
I grab her waist and hoist her up the island. Her long legs automatically wrap around my back.
These girls love to wear dresses and I love the easy access they provide me.
I slide the hem of her white dress, slowly and teasingly.
I don’t kiss her, instead, I suck on her neck while inching my way inside her thong.
I slide it to the side and explore her.
She’s ready for me. But I make her wait. I make her squirm as I glide my fingers all over her.
She claws my jacket.
I enter her with a single digit.
She’s moaning and grinding on the slab of marble.
She uses her long legs to pull me closer to her and I oblige. I sank deeper into her and pumped my hand. She throws her head back and I immediately lick her neck. I wanted to feel the vibrations of her moaning on my lips.
This is what I’m talking about. This beats slaving my ass off in my gym or a rib-eye steak.
She comes to her senses and gives me this smoldering look.
She slowly inches towards the zip of my fly but deviates instead. She massages me first.
She strokes me over my slacks. This girl knows how to tease a guy. She knows I like little challenges.
She grabs my other hand and sucks a digit. Making me imagine what she can and will do to me.
I remove my hand from her mouth but I continue sliding inside her with my other.
I take my wet hand and use it to unzip my fly.
I tease her some more but she can’t wait anymore.
Yes, this is definitely better than exercise or food. Not a single thing on my mind other than this pleasure.
Hi guys, the steamy parts are starting this chapter.
“He did not even hear me out,” I mumbled to my sandwich. I can’t keep the resentment inside. After crying my eyes out, I had lunch with the girls. I tried to be quiet about it but they’ve already commented about my visibly red and swollen eyes. “Girl, what are you so snippy about over there?” Charlie inquires. It’s lunchtime and they are gossiping. As usual, everybody’s intrigued about Mr. Cane’s hissy fits. “I didn’t get the chance to defend my side. That’s what pisses me off the most. It would have been better if he didn’t just explode like that. Nothing wrong with getting the facts first, right?” I try to be objective about it. “This about the crew in Montana? We’ve already sent people over. Did he not know you helped interview some? Thanks by the way. With the whole Evelyn business, people are quite distraught,” Andrea said. She is now officially part of the group. “Yeah, anytime,” I say distractedly. Watching her fork a few pieces of the cold chicken she packed for lunch. Sing
I shut the wooden door behind me. Careful to not cause any noise. I walk past the dark living room and dirty kitchen and head straight to my room. I hang my jacket carefully on the hook beside my door. Lining up my shoes under it, I rearrange the order. Place some stray shoes in their proper place. Mom must have borrowed a pair. I take my socks and carefully place them in my clothes hamper. I take my jeans and blouse off and fold them, piling them on top of my dirty clothes from the other day. I need to do laundry soon. I plop down my old chair. Grab a pen and add soap to my list of things to buy at the grocery store. Hand washing everything is time-consuming but I honestly don’t have a choice. I’m counting down the days until I receive my first pay from Cane Industries but I doubt buying a new washing machine is on top of my priority list. Maybe a repair? I added it to the list. I’m getting lightheaded. The food I bring for lunch at the office just isn’t enough. I’ve finally set as
I was wrong. The fight last night didn’t end with just Augustus walking away. Of course, just when you think you’re safe, that’s when shit really happens. Round 2 wasn’t just shouting and threats, by the end of it Mom managed to barricade herself inside her room and we were both sporting fresh bruises. Make-up is expensive so I’m being stingy about the amount of foundation I can put in order to cover up my face. This single tube I found at a gas station nearby is a godsend but it’s running out. I quickly chuck it inside my drawers when the elevator dings. A bruise on the cheek is easy enough to mask but a split lip is harder to hide. I bow my head when Mr. Cane walks down the corridor. In the corner of my eye, I could see him sauntering over. He really is meant to be on a runway or at least in a studio making commercials or a film. Maybe he can be a leading man type? Hmm.. maybe an action star? He looks like he works out. He’s got this lean but muscular figure. No, no.. he’s more
Austin I am fuming. Who the fuck does Tommy think he is? He can't just do shit like that. I should have fired him right then and there. He's lucky that he's so valuable in the company and punching him would mean there's a possibility I'd damage my hands. These babies are my money-makers. Engineers don't craft everything with just our minds. I don't care if he's the resident Lothario in Cane Industries but he does not step a toe out of line where I'm concerned. He's one of the few that I can tolerate in the company and yes, he's like a friend to me but my assistants are off-limits. Well, I didn't care when he would hit up the ones before, but that's because they weren't important. I mean, they weren't in the middle of a task. He wasn't interrupting their work. They weren't on the clock. And I rarely saw him talking to the new ones, or rather I just didn't give a fuck. But this time it's different. I don't know when I noticed that particular dark wavy hair standing there in that
Austin “...so glad to be your partner. Congratulations to us all and thank you.” Althea finishes her speech. I extend my hand as she steps off the stage, helping her navigate through the crowd. She loops her hand through my arm as I guide her. She whispers in my ear, “Are you sure it’s just business?” I look at her face, trying to decipher what she means. “She’s looking at you as much as you’re looking at her,” she leans over once more. I don’t play coy. I zoom in on the marketing table. Sure enough, new girl’s eyes are on us. Althea grips my arm closer to her body. She takes a peak at the table. “With the amount of attention we’re giving them over there, I’m sure she means more to you than what you’re telling me.” “No.” She laughs at my immaturity. “You don’t realize it yet, I see.” “Don’t make assumptions.” I pulled up her seat for her. “Thanks. I’m sure she’ll love how gentlemanly you are to another girl.” She smirks. “I’m sure she’s also loving the man-child hanging all
I am not having a great night. The panic started yesterday at lunch. First of all, I wasn’t aware that the launch party required formal attire. Second, I did not have anything of the sort. Do I look like someone who can whip up a gown out of their closet? When and in what capacity would I ever need something like that? Third, I cannot ever, even in my wildest dreams, afford a formal dress. I can barely afford my own lunch. “Girl, it’s a launch party. Of course, you’d need to look fabulous!” Charlie exclaims. “Even I would be forcing my body into something more decent than what I’m wearing now.” Rosie presents her plaid shirt. “They’re messing with you. It’s fine, you can just wear whatever.” Andrea slaps Rosie’s shoulder earning her a laugh. “Just your casual everyday business attire is alright, hon.” “Really? This is okay?” I point down to my jeans, vans, and long-sleeve blouse. “Well, I mean not that one, I guess.” Andrea backtracks. Tries her best not to insult my clothes.
The second helping of tiramisu, cream puffs, and cheesecake in front of me has finally lost its appeal. I will admit that gorging myself with sweets temporarily took my mind off my boss and his pretty companion. The arrays of cakes and pastries kept me in a sugar haze. I barely understood what Tommy and the girls were chatting about. I was in heaven. There was even a time I let Tommy feed me a piece of sugared apple. Which admittedly, no one has ever done. I don’t like people hand-feeding me, it’s creepy how an inanimate object is just thrust to your face like that without your control. I soon as I leaned back in my seat and let my food coma subside though, my eyes automatically shifted toward the happy couple up on the platform. Little Mermaid keeps on fixing Mr. Cane’s bow tie. Is it that messy? How can a piece of fabric barely two inches in height be so disheveled? I’ve never seen one piece of unruly hair on that man, let alone a crooked tie. Can she have a more valid excuse to
Austin It’s a good day. A really fantastic day, actually. Normally, I would have a love-hate relationship with Mondays but this time, I’m pretty okay with it. I stare at my reflection in my bathroom mirror. My arms don’t make me wince. I’m in such a good mood that I barely pay them any attention. I button up my long sleeves. No suit jacket today, I feel so light and calm. I make my way over to my massive granite kitchen. The coffee has finished brewing and I make myself a cup. I even try to add some milk to it. Just for a change. That was a mistake. I drain the liquid down the sink and make my usual black and strong cup. When all is right with the world once more, I take my liquid gold and head to my office downstairs. It’s fairly early but I’m still hyped up. Spending the weekend at your childhood crush’s place having a sex marathon can do that to you. I just feel like this is going to be a great week. I pass by my assistant’s little corner outside my door. She isn’t here yet
“Get up,” he said. “Now. Hands on the table.” I scrambled up and stood at attention. Slowly, ever so slowly, he put his knee in between my legs from behind. “Legs apart, Olivia.”I was vibrating with anticipation at this point. Everything felt charged. I held my breath as I felt him touch his front slightly on my back. I felt his breath on me, touching my skin as he inspected me. “Where did he touch you?” his soft voice was menacing. “I… Austin…” I stammered while he stood beside me. I felt his choppy breath skirting my shoulder. The goosebumps on my skin were ever prevalent. I couldn’t move, I was stuck as a statue. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. He left me paralyzed just by his presence. “I asked you a question, Olivia.” “I don’t…” “You don’t remember?” “I would rather not,” I exhaled. “How did it feel?” “What? I, I don’t know…” “You’re trying to forget, I understand. But you need to open up for me. “ He said this as he wedged his knee between mine. “Ugh…” “Did he tou
“You’re right. You did a very bad thing, Olivia. And for so long, you tested my patience.” I shivered at the tone of his voice. It sent chills through me. “You made me watch you at your lowest point. You made me endure everything. All because, what? I love you? I watched you, did you know that?” He stood menacingly. My eyes were focused on him undoing his belt, painstakingly slow. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. At this point, these little words have lost their meaning. He stopped beside me. I stared at the bulge in front of me. He gripped my hair. The caring touches at the hospital are long gone now. In its place, he started squeezing my hair. “You had me so worried. I was losing my mind, did you know that?” he gritted out. “I didn’t know what to do, I was so helpless. I couldn’t even get to you. It’s like you were so far away, in your own head.” “I was… I’m…”“Don’t you fucking say you’re sorry. We’re way past that now.” “But,” I struggled to stay in our conversation but I was dis
“I messed up,” I told Austin. We were in our dining table when I got home from the hospital. Somehow, the guilt and the shame pushed me to bare it all out. “Something needs to change. I NEED to change. I royally fucked up and this whole thing is my mess,” I added. He sat there and I knew he was starting to defend my actions again. “You were drugged. He manipulated you…”I stopped him. “That’s true. But what about all the other decisions I made? I decided to continue with the booze. I chose to take what he was giving me, Austin. Even if I was endangering my job, even if I was getting out of control. I chose those things. You can’t… I can’t pin this all on anybody else but me. I have a part in all this mess. A big part, actually.” He lowered his head. Maybe he’s realizing I have a point. “I trust too easily. Call it naivety or just plain stupidity, but I always choose to see the good in people. Even to my detriment.”He looked up at me. “But that’s what I like about you. You chose t
“I’m so sorry, Austin. Please!” The words fell from my mouth even as I was beginning to wake up. The crushing guilt enveloped me right when I saw his face hovering beside me. “It’s alright, you’re okay…” He kept on saying. “No, no, I-” “Whatever it is, that’s fine. We’re going to be okay.”“No, you don’t understand. He did things… I was…” I tried to explain. I tried to rationalize and did my best to come out with it but he just wouldn’t let me. “I said it’s alright, Olivia. My god, the doctors just gave me a rundown of the drugs circulating in your system. They had to pump it out of you just a few hours ago, Liv. It was that toxic.” “I know, I wasn’t myself. I was so messed up. But it was still me, somehow. I had a decision, I made them, a lot of them. Things I regret.” “What are you... What are you saying? What happened?” His brows bunched and I immediately thought how adorable it was until I was reminded of what actually went down in that room. “He took advantage of me. And
“I fucking hate you. I hate what you’re doing to me. You’re doing this to me when you know what I’ve been through. You’re no better than all the worst men I know.”He laughed when I said this. He grinned like I was a silly little child complaining. Like I was a mere plaything. Like I don’t have any right to disturb him. It made my blood boil and my insides squirm. “You tricked me. You made me believe in all your bullshit. Just so you could, what? Do this to me?” “Isn’t it worth it? I do say so myself.” He smiled like he already won this game we were playing. Checkmate, his face said it all. “I beg to disagree,” my voice was barely a whisper. But my rage was slowly cooking. It’s seeping through my drug-infused senses. It’s waking me up.I scrunched my eyes. “You’re going to pay for this.” “Yeah, sure. You’re saying that as if you’re not dying to fuck me right now. Need I remind you how wet you are? You’re about to put me inside you, sweetheart. Don’t worry, I can prolong this. J
I couldn't focus on anything. My body is on fire. It’s itching to move on its own, seeking pleasure, wanting the release.He was driving me crazy and I felt like nothing was in my control. Somehow, this was everything that I wanted at this moment, and yet… and yet… “What do you want, Olivia?” he whispered. The voice is enticing, making me lose all sense of control.I want to be ravaged. I want to be owned. It’s driving me insane. This animalistic need that’s welling up in me. And yet… “No…” I tried to tell him. “This is…” I tried again. “What?” He pressed his lips on the side of my throat. So light that I barely felt it. Somehow that’s worse. He lifted his other hand, the one that’s not tormeting me and glided it from my face, to my neck to my arms. Right down to my lower back. He pressed on it. Making me slide onto him forward and to his waiting hand. His fingers pressed on my intimate parts. He barely moved it. I was burning from the inside. An internal battle raging in me.
"You want me to fucking relax? Are you… goddamn crazy?" I said, bewildered and very much annoyed. "Just enjoy it. I'm sure you'll love it." He looked at his watch. "20 minutes, and you'll feel it."And just like that, everything started to feel good. Just like he said. The antsy feeling in my gut was starting to dissipated. "Am I… am I floating?" I giggled. I stared at my hand and smiled. "There you are," he smiled back. It gave me this strange sense of peace, like nothing I've ever felt before. The weight on my chest is getting lifted. "I feel floaty, Matthew." "I know. Isn't it great? I mixed those for you. Especially for you, sweetheart." He began touching my hand. My initial thought was to remove it but then… "Do you like it? Do you feel better?" And I did. I was light, I was happy. Finally. My god. I smiled, I really smiled. "You're so fucking beautiful, have I told you that?" He sat down beside me. "Nope. You haven't but I'm starting to feel it. I kinda feel pretty.
‘Sweetheart’, the term made my skin crawl. I never knew such a word could make me want to vomit that much. Or was it just the pills he shoved down my throat? I have no idea at this point. Does it matter? I’m in deep shit. There’s no other description of the situation. I watched him as he tried to hide his triumphant smug grin. “Please…” I pleaded. “Please, what? Let you go?” he shrugged. “Can’t do that.” “Matthew…” “Hmm… I really… really like that,” he confessed. “I just love hearing it from you. Makes me so excited, you know?” I closed my eyes. Everything was spinning. I scrunched them, maybe if I will this whole thing to go away… “Look at me,” he said menacingly. “Just… don’t go away. You like to not be here, I’m fed up with that. Stay here with me, okay?” “Where do I go?” I prodded. Anything to keep him talking. He might not do anything bad if we just talk. Fat chance of that happening but I can try, can’t I? I have no other choice. “Your past. You always go back,” he sa
I went numb. All movements halted as I processed the information he gave me. “I... I should be scared? But… what have I done?” I couldn’t believe the things he was saying. Why is he mad? I should go. I tried to get up once again. He put more weight on my twisted arm, he’s crushing me down the cushion. I felt the panic rising more and more. I wanted to scream and run hysterically but I tried to stamp it down. That won’t help me now. He’s far stronger and angrier, I don’t stand a chance if it will come to blows. One-on-one combat has never gone well for women against men. “Can you release me? You’re hurting me, Matthew.” “No. You’re just going to leave,” he said but somehow his hold eased up. “I’m not, can we just talk about this first? There’s no need to get physical.” I tried to reason with the man, the primal need to escape from danger not letting up one bit. “If you let me go, I’ll stay. I promise.” “You’re too smart for your own good but I guess we could talk.” He releas