Novels by Emilia J. Bell

“Get up,” he said. “Now. Hands on the table.” I scrambled up and stood at attention. Slowly, ever so slowly, he put his knee in between my legs from behind. “Legs apart, Olivia.”I was vibrating with anticipation at this point. Everything felt charged. I held my breath as I felt him touch his front slightly on my back. I felt his breath on me, touching my skin as he inspected me. “Where did he touch you?” his soft voice was menacing. “I… Austin…” I stammered while he stood beside me. I felt his choppy breath skirting my shoulder. The goosebumps on my skin were ever prevalent. I couldn’t move, I was stuck as a statue. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. He left me paralyzed just by his presence. “I asked you a question, Olivia.” “I don’t…” “You don’t remember?” “I would rather not,” I exhaled. “How did it feel?” “What? I, I don’t know…” “You’re trying to forget, I understand. But you need to open up for me. “ He said this as he wedged his knee between mine. “Ugh…” “Did he tou

“You’re right. You did a very bad thing, Olivia. And for so long, you tested my patience.” I shivered at the tone of his voice. It sent chills through me. “You made me watch you at your lowest point. You made me endure everything. All because, what? I love you? I watched you, did you know that?” He stood menacingly. My eyes were focused on him undoing his belt, painstakingly slow. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. At this point, these little words have lost their meaning. He stopped beside me. I stared at the bulge in front of me. He gripped my hair. The caring touches at the hospital are long gone now. In its place, he started squeezing my hair. “You had me so worried. I was losing my mind, did you know that?” he gritted out. “I didn’t know what to do, I was so helpless. I couldn’t even get to you. It’s like you were so far away, in your own head.” “I was… I’m…”“Don’t you fucking say you’re sorry. We’re way past that now.” “But,” I struggled to stay in our conversation but I was dis

“I messed up,” I told Austin. We were in our dining table when I got home from the hospital. Somehow, the guilt and the shame pushed me to bare it all out. “Something needs to change. I NEED to change. I royally fucked up and this whole thing is my mess,” I added. He sat there and I knew he was starting to defend my actions again. “You were drugged. He manipulated you…”I stopped him. “That’s true. But what about all the other decisions I made? I decided to continue with the booze. I chose to take what he was giving me, Austin. Even if I was endangering my job, even if I was getting out of control. I chose those things. You can’t… I can’t pin this all on anybody else but me. I have a part in all this mess. A big part, actually.” He lowered his head. Maybe he’s realizing I have a point. “I trust too easily. Call it naivety or just plain stupidity, but I always choose to see the good in people. Even to my detriment.”He looked up at me. “But that’s what I like about you. You chose t

“I’m so sorry, Austin. Please!” The words fell from my mouth even as I was beginning to wake up. The crushing guilt enveloped me right when I saw his face hovering beside me. “It’s alright, you’re okay…” He kept on saying. “No, no, I-” “Whatever it is, that’s fine. We’re going to be okay.”“No, you don’t understand. He did things… I was…” I tried to explain. I tried to rationalize and did my best to come out with it but he just wouldn’t let me. “I said it’s alright, Olivia. My god, the doctors just gave me a rundown of the drugs circulating in your system. They had to pump it out of you just a few hours ago, Liv. It was that toxic.” “I know, I wasn’t myself. I was so messed up. But it was still me, somehow. I had a decision, I made them, a lot of them. Things I regret.” “What are you... What are you saying? What happened?” His brows bunched and I immediately thought how adorable it was until I was reminded of what actually went down in that room. “He took advantage of me. And

“I fucking hate you. I hate what you’re doing to me. You’re doing this to me when you know what I’ve been through. You’re no better than all the worst men I know.”He laughed when I said this. He grinned like I was a silly little child complaining. Like I was a mere plaything. Like I don’t have any right to disturb him. It made my blood boil and my insides squirm. “You tricked me. You made me believe in all your bullshit. Just so you could, what? Do this to me?” “Isn’t it worth it? I do say so myself.” He smiled like he already won this game we were playing. Checkmate, his face said it all. “I beg to disagree,” my voice was barely a whisper. But my rage was slowly cooking. It’s seeping through my drug-infused senses. It’s waking me up.I scrunched my eyes. “You’re going to pay for this.” “Yeah, sure. You’re saying that as if you’re not dying to fuck me right now. Need I remind you how wet you are? You’re about to put me inside you, sweetheart. Don’t worry, I can prolong this. J

I couldn't focus on anything. My body is on fire. It’s itching to move on its own, seeking pleasure, wanting the release.He was driving me crazy and I felt like nothing was in my control. Somehow, this was everything that I wanted at this moment, and yet… and yet… “What do you want, Olivia?” he whispered. The voice is enticing, making me lose all sense of control.I want to be ravaged. I want to be owned. It’s driving me insane. This animalistic need that’s welling up in me. And yet… “No…” I tried to tell him. “This is…” I tried again. “What?” He pressed his lips on the side of my throat. So light that I barely felt it. Somehow that’s worse. He lifted his other hand, the one that’s not tormeting me and glided it from my face, to my neck to my arms. Right down to my lower back. He pressed on it. Making me slide onto him forward and to his waiting hand. His fingers pressed on my intimate parts. He barely moved it. I was burning from the inside. An internal battle raging in me.