One step forward, two steps back. The story of my life. As soon as I got in the car, Ronnie stepped on the gas. “Whoa, are we in a rush or something?” I asked, alarmed at the unusual way he was driving. He was in a hurry and it was unnerving. “Ma’am, the boss was looking for you. Have you, uhm… did you check your phone, ma’am?” he said worriedly. I grabbed my phone. All sense of calm and relaxation from the session gone in a snap of a finger. I checked the numerous missed phone calls and text messages. A dozen of them. I clicked on the first one, sent a few minutes right after I left the building. Where are you? Hailey has news. We need to discuss things. The next message was half an hour after the first. I’m serious, where are you Olivia? I checked the penthouse.The series of phone calls followed then. It was clear he was getting more and more agitated. For god’s sake, how many more times do I need to make myself clear? Don’t just leave without at least sending me a message.
A twinge of uncertainty flickered in his eyes when I bunched my skirt up.“It’s okay, I promise.” My shaking hands didn’t escape his notice. I pulled him out and ground myself on him slowly the same time I squeezed his shoulders. Reassuring him that I’m fine and I’ve got this. He didn’t need time to be ready but I teased myself with him. I moved my panties to the side and felt him. His head bumped my opening and slid up, coming into contact with my bundle of nerves, making us both groan out. Why did it take us so long to do this again? I’m completely forgetting the reason as I grind on him. God, it’s so hot in here. I wanted to take all my clothes off. I wanted to get rid of my blouse and just take everything off but I don’t think I’m ready for that yet. So I do the next best thing and swivel my hips on him. Smearing my wetness over his head. He moved his hands towards my hips but I stopped him, “No touching. I’m in charge.”All he could do was nod. I will never get tired of the d
I’m ravenous. Whenever I would see him, this intense craving would well up in me and more often than not, it would drive me literally ravishing the man. It’s insane and unhealthy, but I couldn’t stop myself. Neither did he. Sometimes, I’d reason with myself that it has been such a long time that we haven’t been intimate so we’re just making up for the lost time. Or at least, that’s what I’m telling myself. Because the little creases on his forehead when I’m particularly randy have been showing up a lot lately. “Morning, Mr. Cane,” I sing-songed as he grumpily entered his office. He gave me a stern look and I smirked. The side of his mouth lifted. I went about my morning. We’re at a stalemate. This temporary truce is just that, a truce. Nothing more. I feel the itch to reach out for a bottle or my pills all the goddamn time. More often than not, I give in. The moments wherein I have a smidgeon of control left, I use it to distract myself. With work. But mostly with the body of
The beginning of the end started like this. I woke up naked and drenched in questionable fluids. Last night was one of the raunchiest nights we’ve spent together. It goes without saying that it’s one for the books. I blink back the tiredness from my eyes and check the time. I’m running late but my body just wouldn’t move. That lethargy you get only from a night of satisfaction lingers in my every limb. I want to simply bask in this indulgence. But life has its own plans. My phone starts ringing and doesn’t stop until I angrily pick it up. “What?” “Boss, our stocks are….” “Goddamn it,” I mumbled as I frustratedly got up from bed. The drone of the news coming from one of the finance guys keeps me company as I prepare for my day. The silence of the penthouse still irks me. Not a peep from Olivia. There’s no coffee machine running or sizzling of some meat on the stove. Things simply have changed and I have to accept that. I leave my room and contemplate the fact that we’ve regress
The shame I felt as I sneaked out of the penthouse was palpable. It crawled into my skin, creeping up to my face. I’m a grown woman who can’t get ahold of her urges. How pathetic is that?If I’m going to let go of everything, I need a plan. I can’t feel anything anymore. The craving for booze and pills waned but my sexual appetite reached another level. A scary one because I only felt that. Other than lust, carnal and primal at its core, I felt nothing else. I need to feel something else. Something better.I need to fix myself. I don’t want to use Austin like that. Not anymore. We enjoyed it, oh god we did. But enough is enough. I respect the man and I don’t want to just use his body. Our relationship is worth more than that. His face this morning was the thing that propelled me to get up. There’s nothing more motivating than self-loathing. The shame, the complete humiliation of watching his gorgeous face as he realized I’d hit rock bottom, that’s something else. It made me get
I went numb. All movements halted as I processed the information he gave me. “I... I should be scared? But… what have I done?” I couldn’t believe the things he was saying. Why is he mad? I should go. I tried to get up once again. He put more weight on my twisted arm, he’s crushing me down the cushion. I felt the panic rising more and more. I wanted to scream and run hysterically but I tried to stamp it down. That won’t help me now. He’s far stronger and angrier, I don’t stand a chance if it will come to blows. One-on-one combat has never gone well for women against men. “Can you release me? You’re hurting me, Matthew.” “No. You’re just going to leave,” he said but somehow his hold eased up. “I’m not, can we just talk about this first? There’s no need to get physical.” I tried to reason with the man, the primal need to escape from danger not letting up one bit. “If you let me go, I’ll stay. I promise.” “You’re too smart for your own good but I guess we could talk.” He releas
‘Sweetheart’, the term made my skin crawl. I never knew such a word could make me want to vomit that much. Or was it just the pills he shoved down my throat? I have no idea at this point. Does it matter? I’m in deep shit. There’s no other description of the situation. I watched him as he tried to hide his triumphant smug grin. “Please…” I pleaded. “Please, what? Let you go?” he shrugged. “Can’t do that.” “Matthew…” “Hmm… I really… really like that,” he confessed. “I just love hearing it from you. Makes me so excited, you know?” I closed my eyes. Everything was spinning. I scrunched them, maybe if I will this whole thing to go away… “Look at me,” he said menacingly. “Just… don’t go away. You like to not be here, I’m fed up with that. Stay here with me, okay?” “Where do I go?” I prodded. Anything to keep him talking. He might not do anything bad if we just talk. Fat chance of that happening but I can try, can’t I? I have no other choice. “Your past. You always go back,” he sa
"You want me to fucking relax? Are you… goddamn crazy?" I said, bewildered and very much annoyed. "Just enjoy it. I'm sure you'll love it." He looked at his watch. "20 minutes, and you'll feel it."And just like that, everything started to feel good. Just like he said. The antsy feeling in my gut was starting to dissipated. "Am I… am I floating?" I giggled. I stared at my hand and smiled. "There you are," he smiled back. It gave me this strange sense of peace, like nothing I've ever felt before. The weight on my chest is getting lifted. "I feel floaty, Matthew." "I know. Isn't it great? I mixed those for you. Especially for you, sweetheart." He began touching my hand. My initial thought was to remove it but then… "Do you like it? Do you feel better?" And I did. I was light, I was happy. Finally. My god. I smiled, I really smiled. "You're so fucking beautiful, have I told you that?" He sat down beside me. "Nope. You haven't but I'm starting to feel it. I kinda feel pretty.
“Get up,” he said. “Now. Hands on the table.” I scrambled up and stood at attention. Slowly, ever so slowly, he put his knee in between my legs from behind. “Legs apart, Olivia.”I was vibrating with anticipation at this point. Everything felt charged. I held my breath as I felt him touch his front slightly on my back. I felt his breath on me, touching my skin as he inspected me. “Where did he touch you?” his soft voice was menacing. “I… Austin…” I stammered while he stood beside me. I felt his choppy breath skirting my shoulder. The goosebumps on my skin were ever prevalent. I couldn’t move, I was stuck as a statue. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. He left me paralyzed just by his presence. “I asked you a question, Olivia.” “I don’t…” “You don’t remember?” “I would rather not,” I exhaled. “How did it feel?” “What? I, I don’t know…” “You’re trying to forget, I understand. But you need to open up for me. “ He said this as he wedged his knee between mine. “Ugh…” “Did he tou
“You’re right. You did a very bad thing, Olivia. And for so long, you tested my patience.” I shivered at the tone of his voice. It sent chills through me. “You made me watch you at your lowest point. You made me endure everything. All because, what? I love you? I watched you, did you know that?” He stood menacingly. My eyes were focused on him undoing his belt, painstakingly slow. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. At this point, these little words have lost their meaning. He stopped beside me. I stared at the bulge in front of me. He gripped my hair. The caring touches at the hospital are long gone now. In its place, he started squeezing my hair. “You had me so worried. I was losing my mind, did you know that?” he gritted out. “I didn’t know what to do, I was so helpless. I couldn’t even get to you. It’s like you were so far away, in your own head.” “I was… I’m…”“Don’t you fucking say you’re sorry. We’re way past that now.” “But,” I struggled to stay in our conversation but I was dis
“I messed up,” I told Austin. We were in our dining table when I got home from the hospital. Somehow, the guilt and the shame pushed me to bare it all out. “Something needs to change. I NEED to change. I royally fucked up and this whole thing is my mess,” I added. He sat there and I knew he was starting to defend my actions again. “You were drugged. He manipulated you…”I stopped him. “That’s true. But what about all the other decisions I made? I decided to continue with the booze. I chose to take what he was giving me, Austin. Even if I was endangering my job, even if I was getting out of control. I chose those things. You can’t… I can’t pin this all on anybody else but me. I have a part in all this mess. A big part, actually.” He lowered his head. Maybe he’s realizing I have a point. “I trust too easily. Call it naivety or just plain stupidity, but I always choose to see the good in people. Even to my detriment.”He looked up at me. “But that’s what I like about you. You chose t
“I’m so sorry, Austin. Please!” The words fell from my mouth even as I was beginning to wake up. The crushing guilt enveloped me right when I saw his face hovering beside me. “It’s alright, you’re okay…” He kept on saying. “No, no, I-” “Whatever it is, that’s fine. We’re going to be okay.”“No, you don’t understand. He did things… I was…” I tried to explain. I tried to rationalize and did my best to come out with it but he just wouldn’t let me. “I said it’s alright, Olivia. My god, the doctors just gave me a rundown of the drugs circulating in your system. They had to pump it out of you just a few hours ago, Liv. It was that toxic.” “I know, I wasn’t myself. I was so messed up. But it was still me, somehow. I had a decision, I made them, a lot of them. Things I regret.” “What are you... What are you saying? What happened?” His brows bunched and I immediately thought how adorable it was until I was reminded of what actually went down in that room. “He took advantage of me. And
“I fucking hate you. I hate what you’re doing to me. You’re doing this to me when you know what I’ve been through. You’re no better than all the worst men I know.”He laughed when I said this. He grinned like I was a silly little child complaining. Like I was a mere plaything. Like I don’t have any right to disturb him. It made my blood boil and my insides squirm. “You tricked me. You made me believe in all your bullshit. Just so you could, what? Do this to me?” “Isn’t it worth it? I do say so myself.” He smiled like he already won this game we were playing. Checkmate, his face said it all. “I beg to disagree,” my voice was barely a whisper. But my rage was slowly cooking. It’s seeping through my drug-infused senses. It’s waking me up.I scrunched my eyes. “You’re going to pay for this.” “Yeah, sure. You’re saying that as if you’re not dying to fuck me right now. Need I remind you how wet you are? You’re about to put me inside you, sweetheart. Don’t worry, I can prolong this. J
I couldn't focus on anything. My body is on fire. It’s itching to move on its own, seeking pleasure, wanting the release.He was driving me crazy and I felt like nothing was in my control. Somehow, this was everything that I wanted at this moment, and yet… and yet… “What do you want, Olivia?” he whispered. The voice is enticing, making me lose all sense of control.I want to be ravaged. I want to be owned. It’s driving me insane. This animalistic need that’s welling up in me. And yet… “No…” I tried to tell him. “This is…” I tried again. “What?” He pressed his lips on the side of my throat. So light that I barely felt it. Somehow that’s worse. He lifted his other hand, the one that’s not tormeting me and glided it from my face, to my neck to my arms. Right down to my lower back. He pressed on it. Making me slide onto him forward and to his waiting hand. His fingers pressed on my intimate parts. He barely moved it. I was burning from the inside. An internal battle raging in me.
"You want me to fucking relax? Are you… goddamn crazy?" I said, bewildered and very much annoyed. "Just enjoy it. I'm sure you'll love it." He looked at his watch. "20 minutes, and you'll feel it."And just like that, everything started to feel good. Just like he said. The antsy feeling in my gut was starting to dissipated. "Am I… am I floating?" I giggled. I stared at my hand and smiled. "There you are," he smiled back. It gave me this strange sense of peace, like nothing I've ever felt before. The weight on my chest is getting lifted. "I feel floaty, Matthew." "I know. Isn't it great? I mixed those for you. Especially for you, sweetheart." He began touching my hand. My initial thought was to remove it but then… "Do you like it? Do you feel better?" And I did. I was light, I was happy. Finally. My god. I smiled, I really smiled. "You're so fucking beautiful, have I told you that?" He sat down beside me. "Nope. You haven't but I'm starting to feel it. I kinda feel pretty.
‘Sweetheart’, the term made my skin crawl. I never knew such a word could make me want to vomit that much. Or was it just the pills he shoved down my throat? I have no idea at this point. Does it matter? I’m in deep shit. There’s no other description of the situation. I watched him as he tried to hide his triumphant smug grin. “Please…” I pleaded. “Please, what? Let you go?” he shrugged. “Can’t do that.” “Matthew…” “Hmm… I really… really like that,” he confessed. “I just love hearing it from you. Makes me so excited, you know?” I closed my eyes. Everything was spinning. I scrunched them, maybe if I will this whole thing to go away… “Look at me,” he said menacingly. “Just… don’t go away. You like to not be here, I’m fed up with that. Stay here with me, okay?” “Where do I go?” I prodded. Anything to keep him talking. He might not do anything bad if we just talk. Fat chance of that happening but I can try, can’t I? I have no other choice. “Your past. You always go back,” he sa
I went numb. All movements halted as I processed the information he gave me. “I... I should be scared? But… what have I done?” I couldn’t believe the things he was saying. Why is he mad? I should go. I tried to get up once again. He put more weight on my twisted arm, he’s crushing me down the cushion. I felt the panic rising more and more. I wanted to scream and run hysterically but I tried to stamp it down. That won’t help me now. He’s far stronger and angrier, I don’t stand a chance if it will come to blows. One-on-one combat has never gone well for women against men. “Can you release me? You’re hurting me, Matthew.” “No. You’re just going to leave,” he said but somehow his hold eased up. “I’m not, can we just talk about this first? There’s no need to get physical.” I tried to reason with the man, the primal need to escape from danger not letting up one bit. “If you let me go, I’ll stay. I promise.” “You’re too smart for your own good but I guess we could talk.” He releas