002~ I WAS

Leah,

"Mother!" Liam threw his arms excitedly around a petite woman who stood at the doorway.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" Liam's voice boomed with a mixture of surprise and delight.

She held him close, her voice tinged with mock offence. "Do I need permission to visit my son?"

I had just come down after showering for dinner only to be met with the scene of my mother-in-law in our home without a warning. I know she had the right to visit, but I would appreciate it if she gave me a heads-up so that I would prepare my sanity for her visit.

Unlike what you imagined, my relationship with my mother-in-law was anything but good. I hated it when she visited cause she didn't fail to remind me how much of a failure I was for not giving her a grandchild. It wasn't my fault, Liam had made it clear that he wasn't ready for a child. A decision which I respected. The fact that she keeps blaming me is something I can't wrap my head around. How was she expecting me to have a child? Immaculate conception? It seems she forgot it takes a man and a woman to make a child.

"You know that is not what I meant, mother." Liam chuckled, and she rubbed his back as she laughed.

"Welcome, Mother." I smiled cheerfully when they broke their sweet embrace.

She turned to me, not hiding her disgust with my presence. Before we got married, she doted on me. All of it felt like a cruel joke now. Who knew two childless years was enough to sour that affection. Or she never liked me to begin with.

"Of course you are here, Leah." She rolled her eyes.

If anyone should be angry, it is me. Why does she always show up unannounced and act like I am the uninvited guest? 

"That's funny mother, where else would I be if not in my husband's place?" I replied, trying my best not to match her tone, but I failed.

"Did you see the way she talked to me, Liam? Is this the way she should be talking to me?" She said, pointing at me furiously.

"For christ sake, mother, can you two not fight every time you come over." Liam scolded softly while facing his mother.

She took a step back, her hand on her chest as she stared at him shocked, and he sighed, rubbing his forehead. I rolled my eyes, knowing what was coming next. I hated that I was still standing here, in a place where I wasn't needed.

"Are you raising your voice at me because of her?" She cried.

My mother-in-law was an award winner in emotional blackmailing.

"I am going upstairs," I announced, turning away from them, already fed up with her.

"Is that how you treat your mother-in-law, you arrogant girl? You think you are all that cause you came from a wealthy family?" She shouted behind me.

"It is okay, mother."

"Let me be. You keep tolerating her. That is why she behaves that way even when she is barren!"

I halted, clenching my fist. Even though she has said it so many times. Even though I told myself that I was immune to her harsh words. Even though I expected them, it still hurts every time she said them. 

"Don't talk to Leah like that mother. She isn't barren. How many times do I have to tell you that I don't need a child right now? I am the one who doesn't need a child!"

"I won't be joining you two for dinner. Goodnight, Mother. I hope my presence will make you uncomfortable enough to leave tomorrow morning." I smiled and walked away.

I hope for the sake of my sanity that she wasn't planning on staying for long.

I stood by the window, staring out at the city lights when the room door creaked open.

"You'll catch a cold standing there." Liam said, walking into the room. 

A moment later, a blanket settled on my shoulders. He leaned down, wrapping his arms around my waist. "Hey," he murmured, pressing a kiss on my neck.

"I am sorry about my mother. I know she can be annoying and her words a bit harsh."

"It wasn't a bit harsh, Liam. Her words were very harsh. It is as if she studies new ways to torment me. Whenever I think I have heard enough, she surprises me." I pointed out the obvious as I turned to him.

"I am trying my best for you, Liam, but I can't keep doing this. Your mother isn't helping at all, and I am tired of pretending it doesn't hurt."

"I understand. I have talked to her about it." He said, cupping my face.

There was no need to talk to her. How long has she been acting this way? How long has he talked to her about her behaviour? I had already given up on hoping she would change. It is better that she stays aware from our home until she can put up with her BARREN daughter-in-law.

"Mhm," I leaned into him, wrapping my arms around his neck as I responded to the kiss. His hands moved down my back, goosebumps rising on my skin as my body craved for more. My hands found the waistband of his pants, trying to unzip it when his hand stopped mine abruptly. The spark I felt earlier died, replaced by a cold dread.

I have almost forgotten another problem in my marriage that we didn't talk about. My husband was ignoring me in bed.

"Leah, we can't." he said softly.

I pressed my lips together,  fighting the urge to say the words that tugged at my lips.

Again!

"I am tired, Leah. I will make it up to you next time, I promise." He kissed my hand.

Make it up to me next time? Why is he sounding like he is doing me a favour?

"Does my body not turn you on anymore, Liam?" I asked.

"It's not like that," he said defensively.

"Then what, Liam?" My voice rose. "Because all I can think about is my husband avoiding my touch!"

"And all you seem to care about is sex!" He yelled, and I flinched. "For fuck sake you act like you are starved of it and it irritates me."

The accusation felt like a slap in my face. "When was the last time we had sex? Even when you managed to touch me, it's over before it even begins! You're always tired!"

"Are you implying that I have a problem?"

"Liam! You know that is not what I meant." 

I reached out intending to touch him, but he flinched away 

"Then what do you mean, Leah? I can't have my mother breathing down my neck for a grandchild, and my wife, who is supposed to understand me, pressuring me to fuck her!"

The room spun. Was it what it had to come to? Pressuring him to fuck me?

"Goddamit, Leah, you act as if you don't know what I am going through. Well, I don’t blame you, your parents are wealthy and you don't have to worry about anything except sex!" 

"Why must you bring my parents into this?" I screamed, fighting back tears. 

His mother did it downstairs, and now he is doing the same thing. Why is it that they are treating me like an outsider?

"Fuck this!" He said, and walked away slamming the door behind him.

Tears spilled over, tracing hot tracks down my cheeks as I was left alone in the room.

I shouldn't have said that. I should have just endured like I always did, and maybe it wouldn't have escalated. I sounded like all I cared about was sex. Just like he said.

I waited for him to come back to the room, but he never did. Each time I heard footsteps, hoping it was him returning to the room, I was disappointed. He was really pissed.

I woke up alone. He didn't sleep in the room last night. I planned on apologizing the moment I met him, and maybe later in the day after work, we will discuss the lingering problem.

By the time I dragged myself out of the bed, Liam was gone. I usually work up earlier than him to prepare coffee for him, but this time around, he left earlier to avoid me.

◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇

"Fuck! I feel like a villain in my own story." I sighed, resting my head on the steering wheel.

There was no need for us to fight over sex, right? I should have kept it to myself. I have been doing a good job dealing with it on my own even though it felt different from a man's touch. 

My phone buzzed with a notification, and I picked up my phone from the seat to read the message from Sam, my best friend.

Sam: Yo! Wanna grab lunch with me during your break?

I smiled and replied that it was a great idea and she sent me a thumbs-up emoji. I grabbed my purse and got down from the car. 

I was going to be busy in the office all morning, including the board meeting, so I didn't have the leisure to dwell on what happened yesterday. 

I stumbled, nearly hitting the ground when a strong arm wrapped around me, a gasp forming in my throat. A heady mix of expensive cologne, tobacco, and something else I couldn't pinpoint the source flooded my senses. The arm tightened, pulling me back not too close but close enough to feel the sudden heat behind me.

"Another moment, and you'd be kissing the ground, doll." A deep rough voice whispered in my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

"T-thank you." I stammered.

He held me longer than necessary, his grip surprisingly firm. I tried to move away, and his grip, however, tightened around my waist, pulling me closer instead, the warmth of his body seeping through my thin dress.

"I-I am fine now,"

He didn't move. Instead, he leaned in, burying his face in my hair, an action that surprised me. "You smell nice," he mumbled.

"Thank you, it's my, uh, shampoo." I regretted my words the moment they left my lips.

Why was I even replying to him?

"Mhm," he hummed against my hair. "You have a cute beauty mark right here," he whispered, his finger tracing a light circle behind my ear, and I shivered, the hairs on my neck standing on end.