CHAPTER ONE

Du-dum.... du-dum....  my heart skipped a beat as the detective banged her fist on the desk. "Answer me!"  she yelled. I quickly stretched my neck to see what was going on inside the interrogation room through the transparent glass shield.  I could feel Amanda's heart racing. With a teary eye, her pupils dilate. "I don't know" she said in a hoarse voice. 

I hallucinated for a while. 

The walls of the interrogation room was provided with high degree of sound proof. The doors were windowless and flush metal with solid core.  I could only imagine what Amanda was going through in there.  

I wailed inside of me "Get me outta here". I don't want to be here... I muttered. 

Candice looked at me, with a quick glance, she handed me a tissue. I drew myself up, looking at her scornfully, I said "Fuck off bitch". 

Candice has got that cute innocent look that can buy anyone's favor. I've always envied her big amber eyes and that dimple... Gosh!  I'd rather not say. As innocent as she looked, that star tattoo on her neck reveals a bad ass bitch. If not for them, I wouldn't be here in the first place. I grieved in silence. She withdrew herself away from me adjusting her tight mini skirt.

It's almost an hour, What is going on in there? I was too inquisitive to know. With my palm on my chin, I sighed in distress. My feet trembles as my toes tap simultaneously on the ground. Biting my lower lip and squeezing tightly my left fist, I quivered in fear. Tears would not bail me out of this mess. He is gone... I said to myself. I tried to read the lips of Amanda if she'd ever mentioned my name. I was literally shivering as tears flowed out of my eyes involuntarily. I sniffed in the mucus repeatedly as I've got a running nose from blubbering. How did it happen?  Why did this happen to us? Oh Jason why?

  All my life, I've loved and only wanted to be loved. I had the good life.  My dad is retired and my mom works a part-time job to keep the family going even though she's still in service as a nurse by profession. She liked her job and works very hard to support my dad. My dad has a  business he runs to support the family and they have  both loved my siblings and I unconditionally. Don't get it twisted, love was not all what I searched for as I said earlier. My mom would always remind us that we are a divine gift and a blessing to her. I'd always been treated with extra love amongst my siblings. Not because I'm the first female child but also because I'm asthmatic. 

It started raining outside, I felt cold in the suspect room as the air-conditioner was on. I decided to rub my palms against my arms to feel warm. Good thing I have my inhaler and a jacket with me. I watched the clock tic-tock as  I drowned myself thinking about my life.  

I flashed back to my childhood. The weather reminds me of the day I had my first kiss, if it was actually a kiss though. I was Eleven, my parents had gone out that afternoon. I live in a bungalow with my family. We had not fenced our house because it was a safe environment. 

 The ripples in the curtains swayed at the play of the wind. A subtle breeze reached through the open window, setting the curtains in motion. The curtains flailed eerily as a cold wind broke the boundaries of the room, sending a shiver up my spine. It was dull and gloomy when I looked out the window. Soon the sky became overcast with dusky clouds. There were thunders followed by flash of lightning. It grew dark soon before it started raining cats and dogs. The gloomy cloud cried amass but the  children in the neighborhood came out jubilating in her tears. Kids know nothing, I said to myself but then my heart pounded so fast as I saw my crush coming closer wearing a yellow short, designed with rose flowers. 

I beamed with pleasure seeing him singing and dancing in the rain with the others. I felt a push on the head as my little sister drew closer to see what was happening. Immediately she ran out with her clothes to join the others dance in the rain.

I opened the door, sat in the balcony, with a novel on my hand, I pretended to read as I slightly peeked on my crush. He has a  glowing dark skin I admired, skinny and tall. 

"Emily! Emily!" he waved with a cute smile and I noticed his white set of teeth.

I bowed my head in the book I was holding, pretending not to hear him because I was shy. As he walked towards me, I started reading out loud.

"Emily, come dance with me" he said.  Suddenly my heart raced in excitement as I raised my head slowly. I could see his honey brown eyes looking into mine. He had kept that gorgeous smile for a long period of time. He blinked continuously as water dripped down his long lashes, again I glanced at his shinny teeth.

He raised an eyebrow and stretched forth his right hand as he added please...  I wasn't certain he likes me too. I was astonished, a bit of my lips moved apart leaving slight space between them.  I really wanted to join in but then I remembered my health challenge and responded "no, thanks. I'm studying". 

With disappointment he walked away. After a while, I noticed he wasn't outside. I felt really bad, I must have angered him.

Two other kids walked up to me and asked if I wanted to play. I gave a friendly smiled and responded "my mom won't allow that". Then I flipped to the next page of my novel to continue reading. 

Tony has always been a stubborn kid. He doesn't take no for an answer. Immediately he splashed water on me and said pouting "now you are wet, mummy isn't around. Come play with us please.... I promise not to tell". The other kid laughed hysterically. 

I huffed and slammed my book on the table "Look what you have done.." wiping my shirt with my hands. I quickly went inside to change my clothes before I catch cold. 

I came back to the balcony, startled. I rivet my eyes on my crush holding my book, he flipped the pages from side to side. "Beauty and the beast" he chuckled as he pronounced the words written boldly on the cover. 

I was surprised he came back with an umbrella, well dressed in black hoodie and a skinny jean. I didn't know what to say but then I said "don't squeeze my book Alvin!". 

He humbly handed it back to me.  "sorry, I was only attracted by the cover, not like I was gonna read it" he sighed. 

I was still standing from a distant, I moved closer, took the book from his hand, without hesitation, he gripped my wrist firmly. I turned slowing as my heartbeat accelerated. 

"Sit" he tapped twice on his lap.

 Inside of me bubbled. His action rendered me speechless as I stood still and gazed at him with my lips apart and my eyes fixed to his heart. He pulled me on his lap and put his arms around me. I was happy in that position yet I felt so uncomfortable. Twelve years old Alvin sniffed my hair and played with it. I felt so relaxed and leaned on his shoulder. He whispered softly into my left ear "You smell nice".

I giggled and said "I used my mom's perfume". Stupid! stupid! I should have complimented him too.  I cursed myself.

We talked and laughed for a while as it rained cats and dogs. The other kids walked up to us and started singing... 

🎶 Alvin and Emily sitting on a tree

      K-I-S-S-I-N-G 🎶 

I felt embarrassed and jumped up from his lap. Little shy me went inside the house, fell to my knees and started sobbing. I couldn't help but think if they knew about my crush for Alvin. A great tremor overtook me as tears raced down my cheeks. I covered my face with shaking hands, wipes my cheek every few seconds. My cheek trembled as I cried. 

I could hear my friends chanting repeatedly from outside...

🎶 "Come out and play with us if you don't love Alvin!"🎶 

🎶 "Come out and play with us if you don't love Alvin!"🎶 

I was eager to prove them wrong. I dried my tears, took off my sweater and the blue jean I was putting on. Left with crop top and pantie on, I rushed outside in the rain. 

With an exclamation I said to myself, "Wow! This is what I have been missing!".

It felt like paradise as the cold drop of rain rushed down my spine. I could feel the cold breeze penetrating through my chest. I stretched out my arm apart, looked to the sky and opened my mouth as my hair was tattered and windblown. I could taste the rain water, then I giggled and spat it out.  

The other children joined me to gaggle and spit out the rain water sequently. The action of the stiff but steady breeze flapped my loosed crop top. We sang in melody, played tag, embraced ourselves and I felt so alive. 

Meanwhile Alvin was still seated at the balcony, with the expression on his face, I couldn't comprehend his thoughts. 

Suddenly, I could not breathe, I began to gasp for oxygen. My vision turned blurry as I was loosing myself. I could hear my sister's voice from a distant "where is her inhaler" she panicked in fear as she ran to my aid.

I found myself on someone's back. I couldn't open my eyes to see who but that fragrance... It smelled familiar. 

"Emily breath, breath" I could hear my name echoing. I opened my eyes gradually to see Alvin's lips on mine. He was administering CPR. Promptly I was conscious of myself. I pushed him away then sat up puzzled as the other kids surround me in collision. I had never had crisis in front of them before, they looked mesmerized with sadness written on their faces.

 "Okay okay, no cause for alarm, Emily is fine" My sister tried to ease the tension.

It had began to drizzle, she covered me with a blanket and walked me inside. I could still feel pain in my chest but I was fine. My younger sister, Selena made warm tea for me after I got my clothes changed. As I sipped into it, she narrated how Alvin carried me on his back and revived me. 

 "shit!" I cried aloud. 

Selena leaned forward and asked if the tea was too hot. I said "no! I thought he was kissing me". 

Then she shrieked saying "you fool! Alvin is too cute to kiss a frog". She immediately grasp the TV remote and tuned to cartoon network. I was anxious about what happened, I grabbed the tea cup firmly and continued. "Selena?" I called out chivalrously. 

"Yes... " she responded reluctantly.

"Please promise you won't mention any of what happened to mom or dad". I uttered anxiously.

"Don't be silly" she replied "I was out in the rain too. Lil sis got your back". She winked at me. 

I smiled at her response and seized the remote from her hand to change the channel. She groan and asked me to pay 10 buck for keeping a secret. 

I bluntly said "go to my room, check under my pillow and collect just 10 buck. Just 10 buck" I repeated pulling my ear. I had got 50 buck there. I was too lazy to go get it myself. Selena being mischievous and naughty, I knew she'd take more than that. I just had to ignore and vibe to MTV base. 

Few moments later, I was awake in my bed. Feeling so hungry, my tummy rumbles. I could feel the boys inside of me battling in a thug of war. I must have fallen asleep on the couch. I said thoughtfully.

 I heard the sound of kitchen utensils so I got up and walked straight to the kitchen

 "Mommy welcome" I greeted.

My mom was back from work and so was my dad home. She found me sleeping on the sofa, thus, she carried me to my room,  tucked me in, snugging the blanket up to my chin. 

I glanced at the wall clock hanging on the kitchen cabinet. It was 6:30pm. "Selena how long have I been asleep" turning to Selena I asked. 

"About an hour" she responded. 

"Go wait in the dinning room girls, I'll bring your food to you" mom suggested.

I could not resist the aroma of the chicken my mother was frying so I volunteered to help. Mom knew I just wanted to eat from it, thereupon, she smiled and handed me one fried chicken lap.

 "I want one too" Selena cried out. 

Mom offered her a chicken wing then we hurried to the dinning room, chewing and humming delightfully. 

Selena and I waited patiently for dinner. We had meal together that evening. I felt bordered seeing one of the dinning chair vacant. It was a round dinning table with five sitters. The four of us was present, my elder brother Jeremy wasn't here.

Jerry as we choose to call him was already in High school. Dad sent him to a boarding school to be more focused on his studies. He visited home every holiday but doesn't spend time with us. He'd often lock his room and shut us out. Sometimes we forget he is home. Selena would tell me he's possessed. I guess he's a loner and doesn't like the company of others.  He had complained several times to mum that we're invading his privacy but reality is, we just want to help him grow in the society. 

One time, we invaded his room while he was in the bathroom to check for any voodoo item. He didn't know we were inside his room, hence he came out of the bathroom naked. We screamed and ran out. I think that was the beginning of our exile. 

    I didn't like how my brother was bullied by girls he liked. He got the nickname 'Spongebob' from junior high school only because he was a shy person.

One evening, Jerry and I went on an errand to get mom some vegetables from the grocery store. We were talking about Beyonce's latest album when all of a sudden, he hid behind a parked Lexus. I called his name and he shushed me. 

"Shh... don't say I'm here" he whispered in a low tone as he crossed his index finger vertically on his lips.

"What is going on. Why are you hidin--".

  "Hello Emily, how are you?" Judith interrupted with a radiant smile on her face. 

She walked briskly up the block in a low cut evening dress. Small and delicate-featured... Pretty in a flawed, accessible way. Down one cheek is a long scar, from just below the eye to her upper lip. Her voice is high and monotone. This girl is perfect even in her imperfections. Her vulnerable quality masks a strength even she doesn't know exists. 

"I'm good, how are you Judith?" I responded smiling back at her. 

"Well I'm okay, just heading to Pizza Hut to get dinner" she said pointing to the opposite direction. "what are you doing out here all by yourself?" she asked.  

"I um, um..." at this point I didn't know if I should reveal my brother's presence. I turned to him, thinking of what to say then I made eye contact with her again. 

"I.. I... I..." I stuttered.  Damn!  I need to think of a lie.  I expressed my thought scratching my head, with my right thumb in my mouth, I bit my finger nail. 

"it's okay. You should head back home before it gets late. My regards to Spongebob". She smiled and departed.

 With my hands clutched on my waist, I turned to Jerry or should I call him Spongebob, I grunt with a setback on my face. "why are you hiding from her" I meddled. "you like her, don't you?" I questioned again. 

He pulled my hair and said "Let's go" in a deep voice. 

I cracked and started singing in mockery 🎶 "Jerry has a girlfriend...., Jerry has a girlfriend...."🎶 as we walked back home.