Confrontation

The awkward silence didn't last long. And we both started talking at the same time.

"You don't have to come."

"I won't come if you don't want me to..."

We both smiled and but Vic came forward and stood next to me. His gaze... it was the same way he looked when the lights got turned on.

I cleared my throat nervously.

"Please don't mind Anya. She is just... I mean she is bad at organising things. I will ask Dad to drop me at the movies. I know how much you hate this stuff and my friends."

"Hate?? When did I ever say that I hate your friends Mo? How can I..." He fisted his hands and looked vaguely around as if he didn't know what to say or do. 

"You don't have to explain anything to me." I said. 

It is too late for all that now. Why doesn't he go away, so I can cry alone in my room, like I got accustomed to?

As I tried my best to look calm, he ran both his hands through his hair, pushing it away from his face and took a deep breath. After a few moments he asked me, "Just tell me this. Do you want me to come or not?"

"That's not the point." I tried to dodge the question but he insisted, "Why? Tell me what you want Mo! I won't come if you don't want me to." 

And that same tender oh let me love you look!

All my defences were suddenly melting away...

I looked at him helplessly. How could I tell him what I want? Where do I begin?

As if sensing my dilemma, he approached me slowly and said in a gentler tone "If I tell you that I don't mind coming at all, then? Would you still have objections?"

How could I say no to when he asks me like that?

I shook my head.

"Great!" He gave me one of those thousand-watt smiles, which I noticed him flashing at his classmates in the Training Academy. He began to walk backwards, away from me. "I will see you in the evening then. I might be a bit late. I have to go to the academy in the afternoon but I will make sure I am on time. Okay?" He spoke with such enthusiasm that I wondered what brought this change in him.

I wanted to shout NO! But instead, I bit my lower lip hard and just nodded my head mutely.

He stopped then, as his smile faded. 

"I know that expression... You don't want me to come. Why can’t you say it plainly? I am sorry. This was a bad idea. Forget the whole thing. Enjoy your evening with your friends okay? I thought it would be rude not to join if they invited me. And they all seemed so happy to talk to me. You got a great bunch of friends who love you. Seriously! They were so happy to come tonight even though I arranged everything at the last minute."

He was my best friend. But then he began to ignore me and I had to rebuild my friends circle, away from him and now he had the audacity to complement what great friends I had.

I couldn't control myself anymore.

"Why are being so nice to me Vic? Is it because I am going away in a week's time? Have you finally taken pity on me?" 

His face paled but before he could say anything, I continued, "Do you remember what our high school teacher Ahmed Sir used to say? Before Bakrid, the goat that is set aside for sacrifice is looked after with a lot of love and care, to make its last few days happy and memorable. Is that what you are doing to me? But you see, unlike that poor animal, who can't speak for itself, I can." My voice shook, even as I tried to control it. 

Vic strode towards me but as I backed up a few steps, he stopped, and his face became flushed.

"Thanks for all the trouble you took to organise this party for me, but I would have been fine even without it and I don't need certificate from you about my friends. They have been with me in my highs and lows and never left me. Unlike you. Remember that goon who used to harass me on my way to college in my first year? I was so scared that I almost thought of never going to college again. All my friends went and complained to the Principal against him and his gang, and guess what... that guy was never seen around again. They used to drop me and pick me up whenever I needed to, so that I am never left alone, till I forgot the whole incident. All my life till then, I used to share everything with you, because you were my best friend. But you started ignoring me then and it continued forever. Even when I was being harassed like that, you never bothered to be with me. You were so busy, spending all day with your friends. I got so used of being ignored by you, that all this attention is actually making me feel worse. So, please... stop it, and leave me alone." I saw him approach and tried to move away but bumped into the kitchen counter as my eyes were too blurry. 

"I am so sorry Mo! I made you cry, that too on your birthday. You are not someone to be pitied on. I know I always insisted that we cut the cake together, just you and me, because I am selfish that way. I always wanted to be the first and only person around you when your birthday arrives. But today, I genuinely thought it would be a good idea if you spent your birthday with all your friends. I know I messed it up.... I just wish you knew what I am going through right now."

His hands reached out to me but stopped midway and that made me madder. I wiped my tears away furiously. I backed away from him till my hips hit the kitchen counter, and hugged myself tightly.

"No... I am not interested in knowing what you are going through. When you never bothered about me, why should I?"

Vic's nostrils flared and he gritted his teeth.

"I will take every abuse you will throw at me Mo, but not that. I always thought about you, I did everything... all this because I cared for you. In fact, I cared too much for you. Because you were always my top priority. Wherever I was, whatever I did, I did it for you."

I just felt sick, and my hands began to tremble and I leaned against the counter with my arms spread out for support. What had become to my bestie who was always open and honest with me? To think that I have pined for this guy all these years and still couldn't get over him, even after the way he treated me!! My ears were ringing with the loud beat of my heart, which was still beating for Vic. I was angry not just with him, but my own stupid heart as well.

"Oh really!! Thank you so much!" I spat back.

Within two strides, Vic closed the gap between us and bent down his head to reach to my eye level.

He didn't speak for a while but his trembling lips and flushed face told me he was trying very hard to control himself.

About what, I wondered. I have never been this close to him in a long time. The way his tall frame and broad shoulders enveloped mine, made me feel relieved for some crazy reason, as if he was here to absorb all my pain. I searched his face desperately, for some hope, something that can help me feel soothe the bursting ache in my heart. But instead, I found such deep pain in his reddened eyes which disturbed as well as calmed me. Why was he in such a pain? Was I wrong in thinking he wasn't the same Vic I knew and trusted?

Just as Vic opened his mouth to say something, the doorbell rang.

I bolted out of the kitchen to answer the door, thanking my good fortune. Because I was almost on the brink of a breakdown and I didnt want to make a fool of myself in front of Vic, that too on my birthday.

Anya was standing at the door with an apologetic face.

"Sorry yaar, I forgot my phone."

I let her in and she hurried to lounge where she found the phone behind one of the cushions.

Perhaps she sensed the tense atmosphere in the room, she quickly said her goodbyes and left. 

I tried my best to regain my composure as I locked the door behind her.

"Mo, I really want to..." Vic began, but I cut him off.

"Sorry Vic! I am really tired and I want to go bed. Let's continue this some other time."  I looked everywhere but his face as I said this. 

"Okay, Sure." Victor's voice was almost a whisper, and like an Idiot I turned to face him. 

"Good night Mo!" His voice matched the softness in his gaze and I just turned around and ran upstairs. I some how managed to hold my tears till I was inside my room and closed the door behind me.