Chapter 2

The last five years were a long and hard time for Gale.

The first time he opened his eyes after three weeks in a coma; he can't remember anything.

The doctors had explained to him that he was one of the twenty-one survivors of an airplane crash.

He went for a holiday with his family to Golden and was on their way back to Toronto when the accident happened – his dad, mom, sister, and brothers were killed.

Gale was disorientated. He didn't know what he had to do. He should mourn, but he doesn't remember who he should mourn were. He couldn't remember them.

He was almost out of his mind in the first month of his recovery. Thankfully, Meryl had come into his life. Ever since then, Gale was increasingly getting better.

The first two years, Gale and Meryl had become good friends once again. She helped him with his study and also helped him become the real Gale Blackwell. He depends on Meryl so much to fix his life – his forgotten life.

Gale thought Meryl was special to him and it would be stupid for him to not take a chance and make her his girlfriend. She's perfect; beautiful and smart. One day he said what was on his mind to her that he wanted to try being more than friends. By some miracle, Meryl said that she felt the same and they started dating immediately after that.

Everything went normal and happy and perfect until he felt some disturbance from his dreams. His dreams of Ava Shelley.

The girl he had always dreamt of since he woke up from his coma. At first, he would only dream of her twice or thrice a month. But then when he started dating Meryl, a dream about Ava Shelley come to him like a plague. It became several days in a week.

He was frustrated with those dreams. It bothers him so. Gale tried to hide those dreams from Meryl as best as he could. But Meryl was not a fool, she noticed how tired Gale had become, evident with black circles under his eyes and how often he yawned in the bright daylight.

How could he not feel tired? He would wake up in the middle of the night and wouldn't be able to sleep again afterward because he was curious about who Ava Shelley was...

Meryl had confronted him and demanded an explanation. She was worried that Gale exhausts himself from studying because it's bad for his brain. The doctor had explained that his brain will likely injure itself if Gale put too much work on it. After days of begging, Gale finally conceded and tell her all about the dreams.

It was a hard take. Meryl thought that Gale had cheated on her but with determination, Gale convinced her that he doesn't even know Ava Shelley in real life. Ava Shelley was probably not even a real person. He doesn't know why these dreams keep coming to him. They had decided to see a psychiatrist and get some help for him to suppress those dreams with hypnosis. It was a futile attempt as Gale keep dreaming about Ava.

It's sickening how his relationship with Meryl turned to be so tensed. They had never fought before but after Meryl found out about those dreams, she would pick a fight every chance she got.

In the end, they both got tired and accept that those dreams mayhaps a process for Gale to gain his memories back. They had talked about it. Shared what their concern about it and found a middle ground.

They were back to the dynamic they had before Meryl knows about the dreams. Gale loved every moment he shared with Meryl.

Gale was sure he was in love with Meryl – partly sure...

She made him feel secure and loved, and that's what a partner should make you feel, right?

But he knows, they are lacking in something. There's no passion in their relationship. No fire burning in their love and he was longing for that.

Sometimes he would remember that he had a love like that before. A relationship where he would thirst for the girl and want all of her.

He never felt that with Meryl. He never even felt jealous of any guy that tried to steal her attention. Gale knows Meryl wouldn't do such things as leaving him for another hotter guy.

They were too practical and rational it made their relationship lack in romance, but Gale was too comfortable and felt enough with what they had without realizing that Meryl didn't feel the same way as him.

The proposal was an impulsive act. One day he was walking on the street on the way home from the hospital. He passed a jewelry store and saw a simple ring with a little diamond that reminded him of Meryl's eyes. Gale was struck by the realization that maybe she's been waiting for him to propose. He didn't waste any more time. A couple of days after he successfully measured Meryl's finger ring with a thread while she sleeps without being caught, he bought the ring.

The following week, Gale proposed, and Meryl accepted with happy tears.

Plans of a life forever with Meryl made him feel more secure. He imagined they would marry when they turn thirty and have their first child a year after their marriage. Everything will be perfect and enough for them.

But this morning all of his plans were shattered.

Meryl believes that Ava Shelley was real. That was not the first time she ever said that to Gale. Ever since she knew about the "existence" of Ava, Meryl would sometimes questioning whether Ava was out there waiting for Gale to come back to her. He had dismissed all of Meryl's worries and said that wouldn't be possible.

The truth is; Meryl had made him believe that Ava was real. He just never shows it to her. Sometimes he would lie awake at night and thinking about Ava. What does she look like? What made him can't forget about her even after his amnesia? Why is she so persistent to stay in his mind?

Now he pays the price for thinking about another girl when he had someone so perfect beside him yet he neglected her.

Meryl broke their engagement.

He had cried the whole day after Meryl left his door and now Gale was thinking of what to do.

Gale believes that his relationship with Meryl could be mended. But he had no power to express it. He was scared of his own feelings. He was scared that he was deceiving himself.

Does he really want to spend the rest of his life with Meryl? Loving her as a wife?

Sudden realization dawn on him; he never really loved Meryl the way she deserves. He treated her the same way when they were still friends. What made it all different was the intimacy between them.

Gale had hurt Meryl unconsciously by promising her a life he wasn't even sure he could give her. It was so clear in her eyes – the pain she had suppressed. He was an asshole.

Guilty of how he treated her, Gale decided to call Meryl. He knows he should give her time but if he doesn't say what he has to say today, he's not sure if he's going to be alright.

He took his phone and started dialing Meryl's number. It took quite some time until she picks up. Her voice sounds tired.

"Gale..." Meryl sighed from the other side of the line.

"I just need to say something, please let me say it."

Meryl sighed again. "Go on."

"I'm so sorry, Meryl. I didn't treat you the way you deserve..."

"No, you didn't. But I don't want it because I know it won't be sincere." Meryl confessed bitterly.

"I thought I did..." Gale trailed sadly.

"It's okay, Gale. I know you tried." He can imagine Meryl said it with a sad smile on her face.

"I'm sorry, Mer."

"It's fine. Do you still want to say something? I'd rather we end the call now. I need time until I can be your friend again. It's not as easy as I thought it would be, Gale." Meryl's voice trembled, and Gale wishes someone can hit him every time he made Meryl hurt.

"No, I only want to apologize. I'm sorry." Gale said again.

Meryl sighed (again) "no need to apologize, Gale. It was a long time coming. I'll hang up now, bye."

Gale didn't even get the chance to reply because the call was ended by Meryl.

Relief washes all over his body but he still felt like he needs to do something. The important thing that he knew was the sole key of everything that burdens him.

He needs to find whoever the hell Ava Shelley was and whether she’s real or not.