Chapter 4

I can't describe what I am feeling. I am not happy, and I know that. but I am also not exactly sad either. I am just caught right in between all these emotions and I feel so empty.

When you feel like nothing is going your way and you feel down, I pick myself up and help others even if I am hurt myself. Helping others and seeing their happiness always without a doubt make me happy, so happy that it can't be described in words. 

Helping others does not decrease your value, it only increases it. And this is what I have learned. 

I chose to be a nurse to help others. And there was one more reason why I chose nursing as my profession. My late mother was a nurse too. And maybe, just to feel a little closer to her, I did that. Maybe I wanted her to be proud of me. 

My dad never talked to me politely after his second marriage with Marina but sometimes, when he used to miss my mom, he'd tell me something about their previous lives. I only got to know about my mother's passion to save people's life when my father disclosed it one night on my mother's death anniversary. It was long, long back and then he completely shut down. Never talked about her again. As if my mother never ever existed.

Marina always wanted me out of the house. She never wanted me in the picture from the start. She hated my guts from the time she married dad and shifted with us in our house with her son who was the same age as mine but a total drug addict. 

Marina's hate turned into loath over the years and she kept plotting against me but never succeeded in her schemes. I always just either ignored her or never bothered to take her words to my heart. She used to threaten me but all I did was to roll my eyes. I grew up with all her threats going down the drain. 

Now Mason and I were twenty-three yet he had no job, where I was working in a very reputable hospital. As Marina wanted me out of the picture, one reason was her son. She thought if we stay under the same roof, Mason might make a move on me. She was just jealous of me and my beauty. She thought her son will want me. Huh. As if I would let that happen. I would never ever want a drug addict as my lover. 

Mason was rarely home and the time he was home, Marina used to be around him, trying for us to not interact with each other at all.

Mason always saw me as his annoying stepsister and we never really cared about each other. As if we were just strangers living under the same roof. 

Marina wasted all my father's money on buying expensive clothes and accessories even though she knew dad didn't earn much. She just always tried to keep up with the society and its trends. I hated her for this. My father was going into depression and he was rarely home those days. He had stopped taking care of himself. He was tired yet worked his ass off just to not draw a fight between him and Marina. She was a cunning bitch and always complaining about how my father didn't earn enough to keep up with her needs that were absolutely useless. Who would need the latest edition bag of a top-notch brand that cost almost enough to buy freaking groceries for a whole damn year? She was just using my father for his money and I don't know why but my father just let her use him. I never understood. And so just to be a good daughter even though he never treated me as such, I mostly used to take care of his meds and make sure he was doing alright. 

Although Mason was a drug addict yet he was favored moreover me. Dad adored him more but as he grew up to be nothing but a fucking spoilt brat, dad started getting irritated with his presence in the house, yet couldn't say anything to Marina or she would have had his head. 

"Ms. Ambrose get me a cup of coffee." I was snapped out of my thoughts at the booming voice of Dr. Frank who stood looming over my desk and looking at me weirdly. Was my lipstick smudged? Was there something on my face that he gawked at me? 

"I need it right now Ms. Ambrose." He snapped and this time I was quick to stand on my feet and moving out of the desk right beside his office door. 

What had gotten his pants in a twist? 

As far as I remembered, I didn't do anything at all. No mistake or something that could tick him off but taking a deep sigh and shaking my head, I headed over to the kitchen in the side of the hospital and fixed Dr. Frank some coffee 

I just hope he is not in his snappy mood or I don't know what I will do anymore. I had had enough shit taken from people today. 

Life was going miserable and it sucked overall. Nothing mattered though, just the happiness of my work that came at the end of the day. 

As I entered his office after a knock, I heard talking from behind the door. Heading inside I rolled my eyes as they landed on the person that sat on the chair in front of Dr. Frank. Marko. His younger brother and a pain in the add. He was a total flirt and I hated his guts but had to tolerate him just because he was Dr. Frank's younger brother. Or I would have shown him who he was trying to mess with. 

"Hi, Valerie," Marko smirked at me and I just gave him a curt nod before putting the cup of coffee near Dr. Frank and turning away from both of them. Just some nuisance. 

"Will catch up with you later Valerie." Marko winked as I shut the door on his face. Not interested, was what I wanted to say but controlled myself and headed back to my seat.