DeidreAfter ensuring Kira was fine; passed out and sleeping but in no danger of throwing up again, I had gone to see my husband.I had braced for it. Knew that he wouldn’t be pleased with what I had done. How I had spoken to Mistra. In fact, he was enraged. It was the first time I had seen him this angry at me in a very, very long time.He had told Mark to leave. Dismissed everybody in the adjacent offices so that they wouldn’t hear his howling rage as he tore into me.I took it. I knew I had to. Knew that I had no right to kick out the widow of his late Beta. My temper had gotten the better of me. I had withstood her for years… but Mistra has pushed me one time too many. She had little to no responsibility and all the privilege in the world. And what did she do with that privilege? Rolled around in the dirt all day? Couldn’t even make time to bathe? I could see his frustration mounting before me as I pleaded my case, shaking as I fought for my own control. “She almost let it slip!
Deidre Pacing back and forth in my office like some caged animal, I wasn’t relishing the discussion I was going to have. Apologize? No. If Benjamin had really found my daughter drunk, then he wouldn’t have tried to hide it; tried to conceal her from me. “He doesn’t know what he doesn’t know!” Jennivah said from the chair, as if reading my mind. “He saw a–a friend? Or the Beta Select doing something that she shouldn’t have. He was worried for her. Maybe even a little protective. Can’t you forgive that?” My eyes narrowed. I had been mulling over the situation all night, tossing and turning in the empty bed while Jason was at the Lodge. Benjamin had preferred to study on the second level. He had admitted as much to me himself. So if Kira had been there, hiding out and getting drunk, then why wouldn’t he have noticed her there? What else could he have been doing? “Is he here yet?” I asked Jennivah. “No,” she admitted. She had been checking on the AA meeting for me to see if Benj
Perrin“You’re joking.”I had told Kira everything. No. I had given Kira a brief synopsis.“What did Gowan say?”“It’s a long story,” I lied. It really wasn’t. My growing anxiety had me on edge, and the last thing I wanted to do was lose my temper again. I was still frustrated with Kira for running off. For not leaning on me when she needed me. And for the fights we had before. It all seemed so non-stop–“Fine,” she said, scowling. “Keep your secrets. It wouldn’t be the first time.”“Kira–”“Would you like my phone? So you can change a bunch of my other contacts?” She held it out to me, her chin pushed out in defiance. I pushed her hand away. “Can’t you see that it was for your own good?”She folded her arms across her chest. “Not trusting me is for my own good?”I stopped short of retorting, biting my lip. But my look must have said what I meant anyway. I couldn’t trust you. Look what you did.Kira nearly growled but kept walking, not wanting to go any further on the subject. But I
PerrinThe bright light of the private hangar at the airport had me blinking uncomfortably, the sun glaring on the massive opening. “Should have brought sunglasses,” Kira murmured out the side of her mouth. “Not everyone can pull off the hangover look,” I grumbled back, eyes watering.She snorted, and I was grateful for that. She understood my unease. My anticipation. The fact that Nael was coming back to Aperture lands, despite my clear threat to Justin before they had left after the Sacred Call. My father, however, was still Alpha, as he reminded us in the car ride over from the Lodge. And until he enforced my warning to Justin and his father, it was nothing but an empty threat.And that was nothing for the anticipation that Lo may be arriving, at least, after nearly a month of being apart. I couldn’t sit still; not after realizing I had no way of contacting her concretely whatsoever. It was maddening, consuming even. What if she was hurt? Was she flying here, right now? On that p
PerrinPainful. This entire situation was… painful.The few short miles to the infirmary seemed to stretch on for eternity. We hit every red light on the way there. I ground my teeth.“Relax,” Kira said soothingly from beside me. “I’m sure she’s fine.”“Don’t tell me to relax,” I shot back at her, pulling out my phone. I checked fruitlessly for another email; hopefully for a text. Nothing. I sent her a text to call me as soon as she could.Kira let out a deep breath, gazing out the window of the car. “What do you think Gowan’s going to do?”I folded my hands uncomfortably in my lap, righting the urge for one hand to rip the other apart. “Do you really think they’d kidnap him?” She continued. “I’m not sure Nael would see it as ‘kidnapping,’ exactly….”She turned impatiently towards me in her seat. “You know what I mean.”I shrugged. “We’ll have to see how it goes. If he comes back… escapes, I mean…” I trailed off, unsure of what to say next.“You think he would?” She asked, more curi
Perrin“I can’t believe it!” Ethan was pacing around my room, just like he used to, having burst unannounced–and not unexpectedly–into my room. It wasn’t like I had been doing anything besides stare at my phone and hoping Lo would call.I felt restless. Listless. Like an untethered boat in a raging storm. And while I needed a distraction, I also couldn’t focus on anything. Ethan was the perfect solution. And so I kept my features carefully neutral as he recalled how his recent encounter with Gowan, Justin, and Nael had gone down.“Where is she, anyway?” Ethan said, as if suddenly realizing Kira wasn’t here.“She stayed for a meeting,” I said. “She already went this morning but another one this afternoon couldn’t hurt.”Ethan nodded, now consumed with concern once more for his sister. “Any clue what set her off?”I shrugged. “Honestly, I’m not sure. She was doing great. Training with the Alpha Guard, helping out at the Archives…”Ethan failed to stifle his laugh of surprise. “Kira’s b
DeidreI had accompanied Salindra back to my office at the infirmary after Nael, Justin, and Ethan stomped off, presumably over some disagreement with Gowan. I left Jason and Mark behind to figure out what had gone wrong, noting the uncomfortable stiffness and intention of Mark to look anywhere but at Salindra.At first, Salindra had offered a small smile and willingly accepted my offer for afternoon tea back to my office. Cynthia had outdone herself over the lavish display of desserts, finger sandwiches, and porcelain that now sat upon my desk. And I had to admit that I was relieved. I wasn’t quite sure why; I was Luna of this pack. But something about Salindra’s… well, nothing wasn’t sitting right about her. She was different. Not that I had been close with her before. Goddess knows she only tolerated me out of respect for her late friend and the office I now held. But I don’t think she had ever forgiven me for the pain I put Mistra through. Not that I had intended ever to hurt anyo
Perrin“He fucking kicked my ass!” I plunged myself into the ice bath at the Lodge.“Stop your whining,” Mark quipped. Though I could see the faint look of concern on his face that I was so sore after only two hours.“Did you go easy on him?” Seth asked, only half-paying attention.I glared at Seth in answer, focusing on the bite of the ice water as it hit my skin. Ethan had departed a few minutes ago to return to his hotel where the party was being held later this evening. He was barely winded while I was too sore to move if I didn’t work out these muscles first.“He’s incredible,” I told Mark. “You can tell he’s been putting in crazy hours. He’s just… unstoppable.”Mark nodded, reading the unspoken words as Seth thumbed through his clipboard, leaning against a locker and lost in thought about some training program he was putting together for the new recruits. Ethan was progressing beyond whatever he had been here, as an Aperture and in this Lodge. And now, as a transformed wolf, uni
Deidre“How about this?”Mistra shakes her head, the pink dress I’m holding not doing it for her. Of course it wouldn’t. Mistra only wears dark and… darker. Except for the day she came back from vacation. From ‘visiting her son.’ Here. In Texas.“How about this?” This dress is darker, with a slit up to the thigh that should make any she-wolf her age think twice.“Too revealing,” she dismisses it. The hangers clank loudly on the rack as she disapproves of yet another rack of options.“Mistra?” The clacking plastic stills in response. “You wore pink when you came back from Texas. You think I didn’t notice?”A considering pause follows, then, “I was in a different mood, then.”“Oh?”“Yes. It was… the fresh air.”“So logic would dictate the color would suit you now as well, wouldn’t it?”Another pause. “I suppose.”I thrust my arms around the corner of the clothing rack, holding the original pink once again. She grabs it reluctantly and holds it up to her chin in front of a full-length mi
Perrin The sound of my camera phone clicks and I don’t bother checking it before sending it to Lo. Then I switch shirts, and send another. PERRIN: Blue or green? LO: Either. They each bring out one of your eyes. LO: Goddess you look good. Before I can type a response, a video call from Lo pops up on the screen. I can tell based on the angle of the camera that she’s propped me up against a glass on Dina’s counter in the kitchen. “Hey there, beautiful.” Beautiful doesn’t do her justice, even mid-meal. Her eyes are bright and full of laughter, as if she’d just been joking with Dina. She munches on a carrot stick, grinning. “You know it’s not fair for you to just send me pictures like that.” She lowers her voice. “When you know I really want the other kind of picture.” I laugh, angling the camera so she can see my bare chest. “Gross,” I hear a mutter somewhere off-camera. “I’m not going to be attacked while I’m having lunch, Jack. You can be excused for ten.” “Thank Goddess.” Ja
Deidre “Fontaine?” I flick through my mental list of scholars. Nothing registers. “Well, if he’s not a medical scientist or researcher, I probably wouldn’t have heard of him.” Mark grunts, throwing his phone down next to his lunch plate. “I’ve got nothing. The internet is supposed to be helpful. All I have are a bunch of university papers and a bunch of research I can’t make heads or tales of.” “Ah yes. My husband’s Beta, ever the academic,” I smile over the brim of my cup. “Quit it,” Jason growls, absorbed in his own phone screen. “Janas is keeping tabs on him, but other than going back to the infirmary, he hasn’t done much apart from call a taxi to take him to a restaurant.” Mark blinks. “A restaurant?” “Yes,” I quip. “The social environment in which people elect to eat and enjoy one another’s company–not that you’ve been to one in the last ten years.” “Seriously?” Jason snaps, head swiveling between Mark and I. “This is the last thing we need.” “A restaurant is not a securit
Kira The tour was incredibly boring. Ben was professional and polite, wandering at a pace that Lo could keep up with, without getting breathless and being able to contribute to the conversation. It annoyed me how courteous he was. Jack spent most of the tour looking around inconspicuously for all of the cameras, finding their hidden reflective lenses in the niches of wood and leather around the Archives. From what I could tell, he’d found twenty-six of thirty. A flashing, toothy smile catches on another camera. Fine. Twenty-seven. They were just making the far side of the stacks, near the stairway that led down to the pack Archives, when Sirius became incredibly more interested. “And what are these?” He asked pointedly, looking at the stairs and the ropes that separated them off from prying visitors. “Ah. The Royal Archives of the Aperture Pack,” Ben said admiringly. “Home of our pack lineage, royal birth and marriage documents, copies of temple ceremony proceedings, and histori
Kira I watched through the screen as Lo’s baby bump proceeded the rest of her into the frame, extending her hand to greet Ben’s. It was more formal than I’d ever seen either of them interact; but I recognized the show. It was all about appearances. Impressing this scholar. A moment later Sirius eased into the frame, his height nearly blocking out all of Lo except her belly, his own graceful hand extending to capture Ben’s as they exchanged greetings. “Good morning, Professor–?” Ben opened warmly. Smooth. And good. Since I still had no idea what this guy’s last name has to do a thorough background check. I looked at my legal pad, tapping my pen on the blank page. Mark was clear with his instructions, and so far I wasn’t doing very well. “Oh! Just Sirius, please. No need for formalities.” Lo stepped out from behind Sirius, her face beaming with that pregnant glow of hers, despite the gray-scale of the monitor. “Sirius, this is Benjamin, the scholar and historian I was telling you
Kira Janas walked me through my controls. Eight screens, two keyboards, something that looked like an old-school joystick, and enough cords and plugs to cover the majority of the Luna’s office. I wondered what she’d think of it now; it’s usually pristine surfaces now covered in a jungle of electrical equipment. “Got that?” Janas said for nearly the seventh time. “Yes,” I muttered, sitting down in the seat behind the Luna’s desk. It was the last place I ever thought I’d sit, and shifted uneasily as I put down my crutches. The ruse was still necessary in case anyone came in here with Cynthia while I was working. I had felt the glances as Janas wheeled me in this afternoon, crutches across my lap as we passed the busy lobby of the pack house. Many offered greetings and wishes for a speedy recovery, all genuine. It made my back stiffen at the deception. I made a mental note to talk to Perrin about just how different his legacy was going to be from his father’s… and despite my own sel
BenMy alarm goes off, and I don’t even want to reach for my phone.It’d be great to stop the two-day hangover that plagues me. But something else entirely when I’ll look at my screen and realize Kira hasn’t called me back. Or texted.Not like she would.I roll over, swatting blindly at my bedside table until my phone drops onto the floor, vibrating and jittering across the cheap carpet like some strange bug.I test my eyes, flickering them open against my ceiling.Well. At least my hangover is gone today. I exhale. I’d rather have the pain of that hangover instead of the anger I feel at myself. Not just anger.Shame. Annoyance.And the worst part? The self-pity.I’ve drowned in the feelings of the last few days, addicted to the self-sabotage of not eating, not consuming anything and not trusting myself. I’ve been sober for years. And doing this now? Giving into temptation? I want to blame my thesis. My stupid failed research. I want to just burn all of it to Hell and back. But gnawi
Perrin“Holy shit.”Mark softly whistles behind me, unnerved at the site of it as we drive in. The Chiyad training facilities is enormous. No. gigantic. Whichever one is bigger.“This is where Ethan’s been training,” I say unnecessarily, awed at the outside of it. I wondered if Ethan could escape being the favorite for the Beta championship by just having access to state-of-the-art facilities. Mark doesn’t answer, but drives to a series of parking spots on the side of the building. “I know Ethan’s been working hard,” I go on as we get out of the car. “And Justin had only mentioned they were working on getting their facility renovation underway. Is this the before or after? They couldn’t have done all of this in just a few months.”Mark’s neck cranes to look up the side of the building. “I don’t know.”We walk into the large side entrance, automatic doors whooshing in around us with crisp, air-conditioned coolness. I blink twice as a discreet whirring sounds, a scanning of our bodies
KiraI set the phone down on the bedside table, pulling my blankets over me at the chill that had nothing to do with the temperature of my room.What the hell?But I couldn’t help but smirk. My gut instinct about the visiting wolf hadn’t been totally off. Something hadn’t been right about Sirius. Not wrong, per se… but definitely not normal. Were all European wolves that way? And how Mark had discovered our pack had a visitor less than twelve hours after they’d left? I didn’t know. Some type of Beta secret perhaps. He’d tell me in time. I was beginning to realize just how much I had to learn.I frowned, knowing Royhill would likely come pick me up in the morning. I stared at the clock. It was way past my bedtime. Not that I cared. I scratched at the stupid fake brace on my leg.On the positive side, apparently hiding away in the Luna’s office was going to be exactly what I was up to, the joke made earlier to Jesamine in jest or not. And sooner than I had anticipated; Naineeve was her