Ben I curse silently at the Luna for leaving me stranded at the infirmary without my motorcycle. It takes me almost twenty minutes at a light jog to get back to the Archives. “Back so soon?” Marge’s creaky voice calls from her open office door. “Short visit,” I call over my shoulder. “I’ll get back to work now.” I dash towards the disheveled tables and begin sifting through the rearranged papers and books. Goddess, it better be here. I shift everything around, checking every single book with meticulous care. Then check again. And again. I don’t see it. No trace of the dark green book. I check yet again. Trying to rummage through all of it, my usual care for the books now completely gone, overtaken the need to find it. “Marge?” I call loudly, decorum be damned. “I refuse to answer your yelling.” “Did anyone come in after I left?” “Is this the damned lodge or a library?” She snaps, despite yelling herself. I clench my hands into fists and run over to her open door, lowering my
Perrin“You’re joking, right?” Kira looks at me with a look of mixed incredulity and annoyance. I shrug. “It’s not my call. The Alpha wants to leave tonight, so… we leave tonight.”“Let me guess,” she says, folding her arms across her chest. “Something about security and keeping everyone on their toes?”I smile. “Probably. And if my suspicions are correct, he’s going to try and unsettle Neil’s security as much as possible.”She grins. “Payback for their engagement bombshell?”“Exactly.”I watch Kira as she studies me, trying to fight her insecurity at being left out. “Well, have a good time then.”I reach over and squeeze her shoulder. “We’ll be back before you know it, okay?” She huffs in disagreement. “Have you called your brother yet?”“No,” she scoffs, jaw thrust forward in defiant mocking. “I thought I had another few days to do it before you left.”I roll my eyes. “That’s not an excuse and you know it.”“How long do I have to stay here?”“Stop trying to change the subject.”“I’
Perrin Lo watches me, her expression careful. I don’t know why it hurts this much. It shouldn’t. Not like this. We knew I’d be leaving for a couple of weeks. We knew we’d be separated for that long, and that she’d be staying behind. But faced with the reality of saying goodbye again, and with little preparation–only a few hours? It fills me with anxiety. Nervous, palpable, horrible tension. Maybe it’s the mating bond. Maybe it grows stronger over time, a magnet that grows with its force to keep us together. Maybe it’s the fact that she’s carrying my child and I can’t bear the idea of putting distance between the three of us. But whatever it is, it’s gut-wrenching. My heart feels like it’s being ripped out of my chest. I shudder, trying not to return to that place I was when I faced exile months ago, but the looming dread is too similar; too reminiscent of what could have been. The look on Lo’s face shows that she feels just the same. Her eyes are a mirror of the pain I feel in ever
Perrin “As if I could forget you,” she muses, before drifting off into a deep sleep. Silly, really, I think, flirting with the edge of consciousness as I feel her steady breathing on my chest. I’m tempted to allow her breathing to lull my own body to rest for an hour, but I can’t help but think of her words, and they keep me hedging on the side of being awake. It was silly, what she had said. Because there was never any chance that Lo would escape my every waking thought and sleeping dream while I’m away. She will, and I know it, float in every thought and feeling as I spend time away from her. She won’t be the topic of every conversation, but she’ll be the driving reason behind everything I say, every decision I make while I’m in Texas. Because the truth of it all was that this bond between us could not be broken. Because this was love, and yet somehow so much more than that–something including love but also entirely beyond. This is what being a mate was truly about. It wasn’t a ch
PerrinWhile my mind freezes, assaulted by the nightmare in my arms, my body mercilessly sprints into motion.I am checking her breathing.I am seeking the rise of her chest.I am finding her pulse.I am rifling through the pocket of my jeans for a phone.I dial for help.The minute and a half passes in slow motion, allowing the sole focus of my world to hone in on the she-wolf in my arms. She is awake. She is moaning.But she is in pain.I cover her, pulling her dress around her, if not for her modesty of our impending company but to shield her from the blood now staining the newly carpeted stairs. I hear pounding below.I don’t want to leave her.The door blows open by the force of those below.“We’re up here!” I shout.Mark comes stumbling up the stairs, his eyes assessing everything with the speed of experience. He makes no comment about what was likely happening. But his posture remains erect as he fires questions in rapid-succession at me, never once mentioning what we were up
Perrin “You may come in, Perrin.” Deidre steps back and holds the door open, waiting for me to enter. To my relief, Lo is sitting up in bed, drinking water through a straw. She has an IV attached to her forearm and a heart monitor beeping with steady regularity to the right of her patient bed. I rush to her, my own heart thumping wildly in my chest. “Are you alright?” I ask, visually inspecting her as if I’m qualified to know. “I’m fine, Perrin.” She says between sips. She’s slurping happily away at some red slushie-type concoction. “The baby?” I search her eyes, hoping to find some indication. But she wouldn’t be sitting up in bed if something was wrong, would she? “They’re both fine,” Jennivah reiterates. She’s standing at a nearby desk and types notes into her computer. “But you two need to sit down.” I instantly stiffen. “I thought you said they were fine?” “I am–” Lo starts. “I mean, we are–” she stutters, mouth full and a little at a loss for words. Her face turns a litt
Kira “Hey bestie!” Lo gives me a weak smile, waving through the doorway. I hobble over on my crutches. “You’re just thrilled to see me, huh?” She gives me another weak smile. I throw my crutches against her bed and bounce sloppily onto the thin mattress. “I know,” I say more gently, squeezing her hand for a second before leaning back. “It’s going to suck being away from him.” She sniffs and nods, the tip of her nose pink and failing miserably to hide her crying. “But not as much as it’s doing to suck not getting any ass for a few weeks!” I say, grabbing her leg and giving her a small wiggle. Her mouth opens in mock horror and she tries to swat me, but the IV stuck in her arm clangs and starts beeping. Jennivah is in the doorway a second later, only to witness both of us laughing. Jennivah grins and leaves us, closing the door behind her. “Seriously, though. I’m sorry,” I say. She sniffs but smiles. “Thanks.” “You gonna be ok?” I gesture at the room, no longer talking about Pe
Kira My stomach lurches uncomfortably. It has nothing to do with Jack’s driving. “Are you going to tell me what this is all about?” He asks, not taking his eyes off the road. “Turn left here,” I say. He nods, as if trying to determine where we’re going. “Do you normally just call people in the middle of the night and ask for rides?” I can tell he’s fishing for information. “Right turn here,” I say, debating how much to reveal. Jack turns, waiting for me to answer. I don’t. He tries again. “I take it this isn’t some type of courtesy run for the Luna Select for a bit of late night reading?” He pulls to a stop without me having to ask in front of the Archives. I stare at him, easing my stomach away from its nausea. “How did you–” He just shrugs. “I had a hunch.” “You had a hunch that I wanted to come here?” “Saw the way you looked at him.” I blink. “What are you talking about?” “Just get out of the car,” he says, leaning over me to open my door. He pulls back and looks down
Deidre“How about this?”Mistra shakes her head, the pink dress I’m holding not doing it for her. Of course it wouldn’t. Mistra only wears dark and… darker. Except for the day she came back from vacation. From ‘visiting her son.’ Here. In Texas.“How about this?” This dress is darker, with a slit up to the thigh that should make any she-wolf her age think twice.“Too revealing,” she dismisses it. The hangers clank loudly on the rack as she disapproves of yet another rack of options.“Mistra?” The clacking plastic stills in response. “You wore pink when you came back from Texas. You think I didn’t notice?”A considering pause follows, then, “I was in a different mood, then.”“Oh?”“Yes. It was… the fresh air.”“So logic would dictate the color would suit you now as well, wouldn’t it?”Another pause. “I suppose.”I thrust my arms around the corner of the clothing rack, holding the original pink once again. She grabs it reluctantly and holds it up to her chin in front of a full-length mi
Perrin The sound of my camera phone clicks and I don’t bother checking it before sending it to Lo. Then I switch shirts, and send another. PERRIN: Blue or green? LO: Either. They each bring out one of your eyes. LO: Goddess you look good. Before I can type a response, a video call from Lo pops up on the screen. I can tell based on the angle of the camera that she’s propped me up against a glass on Dina’s counter in the kitchen. “Hey there, beautiful.” Beautiful doesn’t do her justice, even mid-meal. Her eyes are bright and full of laughter, as if she’d just been joking with Dina. She munches on a carrot stick, grinning. “You know it’s not fair for you to just send me pictures like that.” She lowers her voice. “When you know I really want the other kind of picture.” I laugh, angling the camera so she can see my bare chest. “Gross,” I hear a mutter somewhere off-camera. “I’m not going to be attacked while I’m having lunch, Jack. You can be excused for ten.” “Thank Goddess.” Ja
Deidre “Fontaine?” I flick through my mental list of scholars. Nothing registers. “Well, if he’s not a medical scientist or researcher, I probably wouldn’t have heard of him.” Mark grunts, throwing his phone down next to his lunch plate. “I’ve got nothing. The internet is supposed to be helpful. All I have are a bunch of university papers and a bunch of research I can’t make heads or tales of.” “Ah yes. My husband’s Beta, ever the academic,” I smile over the brim of my cup. “Quit it,” Jason growls, absorbed in his own phone screen. “Janas is keeping tabs on him, but other than going back to the infirmary, he hasn’t done much apart from call a taxi to take him to a restaurant.” Mark blinks. “A restaurant?” “Yes,” I quip. “The social environment in which people elect to eat and enjoy one another’s company–not that you’ve been to one in the last ten years.” “Seriously?” Jason snaps, head swiveling between Mark and I. “This is the last thing we need.” “A restaurant is not a securit
Kira The tour was incredibly boring. Ben was professional and polite, wandering at a pace that Lo could keep up with, without getting breathless and being able to contribute to the conversation. It annoyed me how courteous he was. Jack spent most of the tour looking around inconspicuously for all of the cameras, finding their hidden reflective lenses in the niches of wood and leather around the Archives. From what I could tell, he’d found twenty-six of thirty. A flashing, toothy smile catches on another camera. Fine. Twenty-seven. They were just making the far side of the stacks, near the stairway that led down to the pack Archives, when Sirius became incredibly more interested. “And what are these?” He asked pointedly, looking at the stairs and the ropes that separated them off from prying visitors. “Ah. The Royal Archives of the Aperture Pack,” Ben said admiringly. “Home of our pack lineage, royal birth and marriage documents, copies of temple ceremony proceedings, and histori
Kira I watched through the screen as Lo’s baby bump proceeded the rest of her into the frame, extending her hand to greet Ben’s. It was more formal than I’d ever seen either of them interact; but I recognized the show. It was all about appearances. Impressing this scholar. A moment later Sirius eased into the frame, his height nearly blocking out all of Lo except her belly, his own graceful hand extending to capture Ben’s as they exchanged greetings. “Good morning, Professor–?” Ben opened warmly. Smooth. And good. Since I still had no idea what this guy’s last name has to do a thorough background check. I looked at my legal pad, tapping my pen on the blank page. Mark was clear with his instructions, and so far I wasn’t doing very well. “Oh! Just Sirius, please. No need for formalities.” Lo stepped out from behind Sirius, her face beaming with that pregnant glow of hers, despite the gray-scale of the monitor. “Sirius, this is Benjamin, the scholar and historian I was telling you
Kira Janas walked me through my controls. Eight screens, two keyboards, something that looked like an old-school joystick, and enough cords and plugs to cover the majority of the Luna’s office. I wondered what she’d think of it now; it’s usually pristine surfaces now covered in a jungle of electrical equipment. “Got that?” Janas said for nearly the seventh time. “Yes,” I muttered, sitting down in the seat behind the Luna’s desk. It was the last place I ever thought I’d sit, and shifted uneasily as I put down my crutches. The ruse was still necessary in case anyone came in here with Cynthia while I was working. I had felt the glances as Janas wheeled me in this afternoon, crutches across my lap as we passed the busy lobby of the pack house. Many offered greetings and wishes for a speedy recovery, all genuine. It made my back stiffen at the deception. I made a mental note to talk to Perrin about just how different his legacy was going to be from his father’s… and despite my own sel
BenMy alarm goes off, and I don’t even want to reach for my phone.It’d be great to stop the two-day hangover that plagues me. But something else entirely when I’ll look at my screen and realize Kira hasn’t called me back. Or texted.Not like she would.I roll over, swatting blindly at my bedside table until my phone drops onto the floor, vibrating and jittering across the cheap carpet like some strange bug.I test my eyes, flickering them open against my ceiling.Well. At least my hangover is gone today. I exhale. I’d rather have the pain of that hangover instead of the anger I feel at myself. Not just anger.Shame. Annoyance.And the worst part? The self-pity.I’ve drowned in the feelings of the last few days, addicted to the self-sabotage of not eating, not consuming anything and not trusting myself. I’ve been sober for years. And doing this now? Giving into temptation? I want to blame my thesis. My stupid failed research. I want to just burn all of it to Hell and back. But gnawi
Perrin“Holy shit.”Mark softly whistles behind me, unnerved at the site of it as we drive in. The Chiyad training facilities is enormous. No. gigantic. Whichever one is bigger.“This is where Ethan’s been training,” I say unnecessarily, awed at the outside of it. I wondered if Ethan could escape being the favorite for the Beta championship by just having access to state-of-the-art facilities. Mark doesn’t answer, but drives to a series of parking spots on the side of the building. “I know Ethan’s been working hard,” I go on as we get out of the car. “And Justin had only mentioned they were working on getting their facility renovation underway. Is this the before or after? They couldn’t have done all of this in just a few months.”Mark’s neck cranes to look up the side of the building. “I don’t know.”We walk into the large side entrance, automatic doors whooshing in around us with crisp, air-conditioned coolness. I blink twice as a discreet whirring sounds, a scanning of our bodies
KiraI set the phone down on the bedside table, pulling my blankets over me at the chill that had nothing to do with the temperature of my room.What the hell?But I couldn’t help but smirk. My gut instinct about the visiting wolf hadn’t been totally off. Something hadn’t been right about Sirius. Not wrong, per se… but definitely not normal. Were all European wolves that way? And how Mark had discovered our pack had a visitor less than twelve hours after they’d left? I didn’t know. Some type of Beta secret perhaps. He’d tell me in time. I was beginning to realize just how much I had to learn.I frowned, knowing Royhill would likely come pick me up in the morning. I stared at the clock. It was way past my bedtime. Not that I cared. I scratched at the stupid fake brace on my leg.On the positive side, apparently hiding away in the Luna’s office was going to be exactly what I was up to, the joke made earlier to Jesamine in jest or not. And sooner than I had anticipated; Naineeve was her