Deidre“Where is he?”I don’t give Mark time to sit down before I barked at him, anxious to check in on Ben. I sent Jennivah home the last hour: she was exhausted and needed sleep. And Irene finally arrived to relieve me after leading the morning meeting so I can go to Ben, who wasn’t in attendance. There are few healers I trust enough to monitor Kira. And now that her vitals are stable and the signs of her allergic reaction have passed, all we can do now is wait. I had calculated enough of the sleeping draught to make her sleep for two days. But with the adrenaline through her system, it could be any minute or as far off as tomorrow. And I’m not leaving this building until she wakes up.Mark grunts, “Down the hall. Private room 204.”I grab Mark’s hand and steer him the opposite way down the hall, winding through corridors and to my office. He yanks his hand out of mine and follows anyway. I slam the door when we’re inside. “What did Benjmain say?”“Not much. Nothing really except f
Deidre The meeting with Sinbad was painful. Exhausting. And no matter what Jason said, he wasn’t satisfied with our answers. He will be doubling his patrol on our shared borders until further notice, with mandatory check-ins with Mark or Janas every twelve hours. Goddess I’m exhausted. I trek back to my suite, hoping for just a few hours worth of sleep before I have to go do night duty. As obnoxious as Sinbad, I’m requiring Irene and Jennivah to text me hourly updates. Kira is still out cold. Knowing my luck she’ll wake up when I’m with Sirius tonight. But I can’t think about that right now. In the back of my mind I’ve been praying that I injected enough sleeping draught two nights ago to keep him out cold. I’m crawling into bed just as the door to our suite creaks open. “Cynthia? I need rest. Please postpone everything until tomorrow.” But then the door to our bedroom opens, and Jason slips inside. “I’ll make sure to tell her.” “Hah. Hah.” I say, pulling the sheets over me. “Ser
Deidre“A traitor?” The word is a strong one. Strong and full of treasonous implications.As if suddenly filled with new conviction, Jason nods. “Yes. But whether or not she did, someone would have had to… to do it to her. To the baby before he was born-or after it, I don’t know. But it’s the only way to explain his eyes.”I tread carefully. “Jason?”“What?”“If Sienna did know something, or even had something done to her–Sirius still came out okay, didn’t he?”“Okay?” He spits the word out, as if it’s filthy on his tongue. “You’re missing the point!”“And what point is that, exactly?”“There are several!”“Enlighten me”He shoots me a sharp look, as if I’m being stupid on purpose. “What would you do if you suspected Kyle had done something like that?” The question is unexpected, and gives me pause. “True mates,” he emphasizes, as if to drive home his point. “You think that Kyle could have ever done something like that and not come clean about it?”“Kyle and I had our own secrets,” I
Deidre“Because… he reminds you of her?”I force the painful silence, making him acknowledge what he isn’t saying. He sighs in protest, but his denial is weak. “This isn’t about Sienna–”So I call him on it. “This is about her, isn’t it? Because he reminds you of her? You don’t want him around?”But he digs his heels in. “Sirius will never be accepted into this pack, regardless of what story we sew; whether he is seen as my son or not. Don’t you get it?”I shake my head, disappointment beyond anything I could imagine settling in. I look at my Alpha, really look, and all I can see is fear. Fear, cowardice, and…“I was wrong,” I say. He starts, as though confused by my sudden retraction. “This isn’t about Sirius. Or Sienna. It’s about your pride. Your legitimacy, isn’t it? You see his differences as, what… a stain on your reputation?” My voice grows with every accusation, and his own anger bubbles do the surface. “Why don’t you get it? He is UNNATURAL!” Jason shouts the last word and I
DeidreI see him come back to me, his eyes losing their far-off gaze.“Jason?”He shakes his head as if embarrassed at being caught, lost in thought. “What’s on your mind?”He squeezes his eyes shut, as if blocking out whatever he was thinking about. “I was thinking about Kyle.”I blink. Kyle? What does Kyle have to do with this?But the memory of something is fading from his eyes. I grab his hand and he grips it back, as if struggling to grasp something beyond his reach. I struggle if I should ask, but instead I say, “I’m sorry for yelling.”He rubs his eye with stiff fingers. “I’m sorry for fighting. I don’t even know how we got here.” I do, but waiver on how much I want to remind him of that. I begin to pull back from him when his other hand clasps mine in place. “I’m sorry. It’s just… this entire thing is finally beginning to take its toll on me.” I bite my lip, restraining my comment. “Twenty years ago, it seemed like a fluke. A blip on the radar. That his level of unusualness was
Jason“And the unofficial story?” Her voice is heavy, filled with foreboding.My eyes meet hers, hard steel meeting liquid mirrors of pain. I can neither confirm nor deny with certainty, but Deidre knows me well enough to read what I won’t say.Was it Sirius? She doesn’t have the voice to ask aloud. Even in my mind, her words are trembling with the answer she isn’t prepared for.I struggle. I’ve known this day would come. For years, I’ve struggled with how I would ever say it. How I could tell her. How I could ever make any of this make sense.Inconclusive, I send back.“What the hell do you mean, ‘inconclusive’?” Her eyes are glassy, revealing the true emotion she’s failing to hide despite the venom in her words. I brace myself, knowing that I don’t have the answer she wants. “Mark and I investigated. We pulled in Janas, too. We turned over every rock, everything around him. There were traces of scent I didn’t recognize, but there were also traces of someone that I did.”“Sirius?” s
DeidreMy mind is racing faster than my feet, if that’s even possible.I’m practically flying through the dark of the night. Rest can’t find me now. There’s no point in pretending that I won’t stop until I know for sure.Jason revealed a side of him to me I’d never seen before, and I wonder vaguely if Sienna ever knew this about her mate. That he was–that he is– so backward in all of his thinking.He has a son. A perfectly healthy son that he’s refused to let live! Get to know you properly! The only reason he’s so disillusioned and socially insufferable is because he’s been wrapped up in that place for two decades. It’s enough to drive anyone crazy.Wait. Am I actually feeling sympathy for the killer? No. NO! The anger fuels my feet as I practically dance a rhythm over the rock faces and climb.But my thoughts drift again. I feel the tiniest twinge of guilt between deep breaths, knowing that Mistra had confided in me the first night she brought me to Sirius that she suspected that wh
Deidre“I swear that I did not kill her husband,” he says carefully.The threat of the unspoken hangs between us, like a cord that tethers us in place. The chess game lays untouched and forgotten. I refuse to blink; to break his stare. But I can’t control my breathing. The harshness of each pounding realization as I take in what he isn’t saying.And just when I feel the tension is too great, he speaks with a feral clarity that raises the hair on my arms. Each word is carefully enunciated, packing a distinct punch as he speaks through clenched teeth. He grips the sides of his chair, as if he’s trying to control himself from leaving it. “You come into my home, dear step-mother, accusing me of killing a man who helped raise me? Who helped keep this hell-hole of a house from being the prison that it is? No, dear step-mother. I never did that. Would have given three lifetimes of this hell to figure out who did. That’s what I told your husband, too.”I note the repeated use of the word ‘hus
Deidre“How about this?”Mistra shakes her head, the pink dress I’m holding not doing it for her. Of course it wouldn’t. Mistra only wears dark and… darker. Except for the day she came back from vacation. From ‘visiting her son.’ Here. In Texas.“How about this?” This dress is darker, with a slit up to the thigh that should make any she-wolf her age think twice.“Too revealing,” she dismisses it. The hangers clank loudly on the rack as she disapproves of yet another rack of options.“Mistra?” The clacking plastic stills in response. “You wore pink when you came back from Texas. You think I didn’t notice?”A considering pause follows, then, “I was in a different mood, then.”“Oh?”“Yes. It was… the fresh air.”“So logic would dictate the color would suit you now as well, wouldn’t it?”Another pause. “I suppose.”I thrust my arms around the corner of the clothing rack, holding the original pink once again. She grabs it reluctantly and holds it up to her chin in front of a full-length mi
Perrin The sound of my camera phone clicks and I don’t bother checking it before sending it to Lo. Then I switch shirts, and send another. PERRIN: Blue or green? LO: Either. They each bring out one of your eyes. LO: Goddess you look good. Before I can type a response, a video call from Lo pops up on the screen. I can tell based on the angle of the camera that she’s propped me up against a glass on Dina’s counter in the kitchen. “Hey there, beautiful.” Beautiful doesn’t do her justice, even mid-meal. Her eyes are bright and full of laughter, as if she’d just been joking with Dina. She munches on a carrot stick, grinning. “You know it’s not fair for you to just send me pictures like that.” She lowers her voice. “When you know I really want the other kind of picture.” I laugh, angling the camera so she can see my bare chest. “Gross,” I hear a mutter somewhere off-camera. “I’m not going to be attacked while I’m having lunch, Jack. You can be excused for ten.” “Thank Goddess.” Ja
Deidre “Fontaine?” I flick through my mental list of scholars. Nothing registers. “Well, if he’s not a medical scientist or researcher, I probably wouldn’t have heard of him.” Mark grunts, throwing his phone down next to his lunch plate. “I’ve got nothing. The internet is supposed to be helpful. All I have are a bunch of university papers and a bunch of research I can’t make heads or tales of.” “Ah yes. My husband’s Beta, ever the academic,” I smile over the brim of my cup. “Quit it,” Jason growls, absorbed in his own phone screen. “Janas is keeping tabs on him, but other than going back to the infirmary, he hasn’t done much apart from call a taxi to take him to a restaurant.” Mark blinks. “A restaurant?” “Yes,” I quip. “The social environment in which people elect to eat and enjoy one another’s company–not that you’ve been to one in the last ten years.” “Seriously?” Jason snaps, head swiveling between Mark and I. “This is the last thing we need.” “A restaurant is not a securit
Kira The tour was incredibly boring. Ben was professional and polite, wandering at a pace that Lo could keep up with, without getting breathless and being able to contribute to the conversation. It annoyed me how courteous he was. Jack spent most of the tour looking around inconspicuously for all of the cameras, finding their hidden reflective lenses in the niches of wood and leather around the Archives. From what I could tell, he’d found twenty-six of thirty. A flashing, toothy smile catches on another camera. Fine. Twenty-seven. They were just making the far side of the stacks, near the stairway that led down to the pack Archives, when Sirius became incredibly more interested. “And what are these?” He asked pointedly, looking at the stairs and the ropes that separated them off from prying visitors. “Ah. The Royal Archives of the Aperture Pack,” Ben said admiringly. “Home of our pack lineage, royal birth and marriage documents, copies of temple ceremony proceedings, and histori
Kira I watched through the screen as Lo’s baby bump proceeded the rest of her into the frame, extending her hand to greet Ben’s. It was more formal than I’d ever seen either of them interact; but I recognized the show. It was all about appearances. Impressing this scholar. A moment later Sirius eased into the frame, his height nearly blocking out all of Lo except her belly, his own graceful hand extending to capture Ben’s as they exchanged greetings. “Good morning, Professor–?” Ben opened warmly. Smooth. And good. Since I still had no idea what this guy’s last name has to do a thorough background check. I looked at my legal pad, tapping my pen on the blank page. Mark was clear with his instructions, and so far I wasn’t doing very well. “Oh! Just Sirius, please. No need for formalities.” Lo stepped out from behind Sirius, her face beaming with that pregnant glow of hers, despite the gray-scale of the monitor. “Sirius, this is Benjamin, the scholar and historian I was telling you
Kira Janas walked me through my controls. Eight screens, two keyboards, something that looked like an old-school joystick, and enough cords and plugs to cover the majority of the Luna’s office. I wondered what she’d think of it now; it’s usually pristine surfaces now covered in a jungle of electrical equipment. “Got that?” Janas said for nearly the seventh time. “Yes,” I muttered, sitting down in the seat behind the Luna’s desk. It was the last place I ever thought I’d sit, and shifted uneasily as I put down my crutches. The ruse was still necessary in case anyone came in here with Cynthia while I was working. I had felt the glances as Janas wheeled me in this afternoon, crutches across my lap as we passed the busy lobby of the pack house. Many offered greetings and wishes for a speedy recovery, all genuine. It made my back stiffen at the deception. I made a mental note to talk to Perrin about just how different his legacy was going to be from his father’s… and despite my own sel
BenMy alarm goes off, and I don’t even want to reach for my phone.It’d be great to stop the two-day hangover that plagues me. But something else entirely when I’ll look at my screen and realize Kira hasn’t called me back. Or texted.Not like she would.I roll over, swatting blindly at my bedside table until my phone drops onto the floor, vibrating and jittering across the cheap carpet like some strange bug.I test my eyes, flickering them open against my ceiling.Well. At least my hangover is gone today. I exhale. I’d rather have the pain of that hangover instead of the anger I feel at myself. Not just anger.Shame. Annoyance.And the worst part? The self-pity.I’ve drowned in the feelings of the last few days, addicted to the self-sabotage of not eating, not consuming anything and not trusting myself. I’ve been sober for years. And doing this now? Giving into temptation? I want to blame my thesis. My stupid failed research. I want to just burn all of it to Hell and back. But gnawi
Perrin“Holy shit.”Mark softly whistles behind me, unnerved at the site of it as we drive in. The Chiyad training facilities is enormous. No. gigantic. Whichever one is bigger.“This is where Ethan’s been training,” I say unnecessarily, awed at the outside of it. I wondered if Ethan could escape being the favorite for the Beta championship by just having access to state-of-the-art facilities. Mark doesn’t answer, but drives to a series of parking spots on the side of the building. “I know Ethan’s been working hard,” I go on as we get out of the car. “And Justin had only mentioned they were working on getting their facility renovation underway. Is this the before or after? They couldn’t have done all of this in just a few months.”Mark’s neck cranes to look up the side of the building. “I don’t know.”We walk into the large side entrance, automatic doors whooshing in around us with crisp, air-conditioned coolness. I blink twice as a discreet whirring sounds, a scanning of our bodies
KiraI set the phone down on the bedside table, pulling my blankets over me at the chill that had nothing to do with the temperature of my room.What the hell?But I couldn’t help but smirk. My gut instinct about the visiting wolf hadn’t been totally off. Something hadn’t been right about Sirius. Not wrong, per se… but definitely not normal. Were all European wolves that way? And how Mark had discovered our pack had a visitor less than twelve hours after they’d left? I didn’t know. Some type of Beta secret perhaps. He’d tell me in time. I was beginning to realize just how much I had to learn.I frowned, knowing Royhill would likely come pick me up in the morning. I stared at the clock. It was way past my bedtime. Not that I cared. I scratched at the stupid fake brace on my leg.On the positive side, apparently hiding away in the Luna’s office was going to be exactly what I was up to, the joke made earlier to Jesamine in jest or not. And sooner than I had anticipated; Naineeve was her